It is the call on every Christian to be Jesus-disciple-makers. Parents and grandparents are on the frontline of Jesus-disciple-making, yet where do they start? How do they fit in one more thing among laundry, grocery-shopping, school, extracurricular, and dentist appointments? This is where we come in, the local church family ministry champions, to lock elbows, share prayer space, and resource families to bring Jesus into what they are already doing.

There wasn’t near as much out there to help Christian families navigate discipling their families in the 1990s. As a young mom I recall four books which, partnered with the Bible and my local church, helped me most along my way:
Tim Keller’s Little House on the Freeway: Help for the Hurried Home
Lisa Whelchel’s Creative Correction
Kevin Leman’s Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
Mom, You’re Incredible (white book with teal MOM on the cover and have no idea who wrote it, but it was a game-changer!) Do you sense a theme?

Today there are so many options and not near enough time for parents to curate the best, the most practical to help them as they are in the trenches of everyday. Let’s face it, there is just too much information at the end of our fingertips to go deep into anything so they are overwhelmed and just too tired. Again, this is where we come in.

I just finished the best 163 pages I’ve read this year for equipping those devoted to discipling their own families. Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin of The Village Church offer in Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones a practical framework of bringing Jesus into what most families are already doing in all seasons of a child’s life.

Published in August 2020, this resource provides today’s family leaders with the sigh of relief that not all family discipleship practices are enjoyed; some are endured. But, ‘our role is to plant seeds of truth, water them, and pray that God will give them life and growth as we trust in his goodness and mercy over all our shortcomings.’ (pg 21)

“You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like him and leading others to do the same.” (pg 30)

In the community of family, we learn best to prepare meals, serve one another, establish rules for living, protect ourselves from dangers, celebrate, and practice academic and social skills. We also learn to become more like Jesus in this community together through time (thinking about, talking about, and living out the good news of Jesus in holy habits), moments (leveraging those daily moments of life which are developmentally appropriate), and milestones (marking and making the remarkable moments of life wrapped in God’s presence and faithfulness to His people.) Each chapter offers the author’s experiences and time plans for those of us who like lists and boxes to fill in.

Time: Rather than thinking everything should be a Broadway production, lower your expectations and think about the positive, cumulative effect of holy habits over time such as Bible reading, devotional time, scripture memory, meals, prayer, worship, and service and how modeling that behavior in the adult’s life is the best teacher.
“A child disciple of Jesus Christ is a child who loves God, loves people, and imparts what God has revealed to them to others. You love what you know.” (pg 43)

Moments: Being attentive and alert to opportunities to talk about the attributes of God, foundational truths about who God is and who they are, and how God’s word is a treasure to explore and discover. As a teacher and family discipleship coach, my favorite pages were pages 122-130…so rich in practicality and narrowing down the spiritual building blocks for living as an exile in today’s culture.

Milestones: Acknowledging God’s work and faithful presence in the remarkable moments of life like births, death, losses, disappointments, driver’s licenses, graduations, starts and ends of school years, heirlooms, new homes, etc. It is in the milestones where there is a ‘tremendous opportunity to extend the discipleship process to your child’s extended family, friends, neighbors, and biblical community’ (pg 136). There are pages of examples at the end of this chapter to simply make events that are already happening spiritually memorable.

As leaders for ministry with families in the local church, we are neither event planners nor community center coordinators. We are family discipleship coaches! D6 Family Ministry shared in a December meme for the local church champions in ministry with children and families: “Good equippers do it like Jesus did it; recruit twelve, graduate eleven, and focus on three.” So glad I have a new calendar with all that white space.

“I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.” 2 John 4

Listen to this blog on the In The Trenches Podcast with DeDe Reilly here.

Family Ministry: A Holistic Approach was a breakout session led by Kathleen Jaoudi at the 2023 Children’s Pastors Conference. Wearing 3D glasses, she invited us to look at ministry with families through a different lens. Not the silo-ed lens of post-Young Life to the present, but generational discipleship for today.

Using a pie chart, she shared a model for intentional focus in six key areas. In these six key areas, you probably are already doing a good bit. Grouping what you are already doing might offer some insight for what to edit and what to shore-up.

First, she said that all ministry is Family Ministry. Agreed. Family Ministry is a process rather than a program with the goal of operating as a full Body of Christ in your local church. Agreed even more. Here are the six key areas:

Milestones: Milestones we make are the developmentally appropriate teachings of our faith symbols, rituals, and holy habits; Milestones we mark are the remarkable moments of life to commemorate the work of God in our family’s life in ways that we did not see coming.

Educational: The intentional building of educational experiences for some and for all. Ex: CLUB345, K2Club, Sunday school, Missions lunches, bringing in a special speaker, etc.

Caring: This is the congregational care of sharing life in grief and celebration; food ministry; new babies; hospital stays, etc.

Parent Equipping: Helping along the way in bite-sized pieces for resources, special events, emails, social media, etc. Ex: My son told me that a website is too much info and no one has time to get lost down a hole of too much information. But providing weekly resources in bite-sized pieces by email or social media posts make for a much easier application.

Family of Families: This is what we do to fill the holes of families, Jesus Loves You Boxes, prayer, moving, car care, Lent Dine-outs, mentoring, coaching, etc.  

Families in Service: Multi-generational opportunities to serve others and one another, family mission trips, hospitality, family VBS, cleaning and/or building spaces, Great Day of Service, delivering, collecting, donating, etc.

Christina Embree is the founder and creator of ReFocus Ministry. She presented at the most recent Bible Creatives Online Conference about the pillars of creating a plan for generational discipleship: Institutional, Spatial, Technological, and Relational. 

As I’m still processing how to incorporate these pillars within this family ministry pie, I really like her vocabulary: Generational Discipleship. I’ve spent some time with her and I really like her plan for intentionally setting the table for folks in at least three generations and sharing the life of the gospel through everyday discipleship in ways that all can engage in a life of faith in Jesus.

Whatever we call it, we know that the purpose of the church is to equip the saints for ministry. Equipping Christians is the one thing we are called to do. Everything else is good, but equipping Christians to live as Christians in the world is what we are to do no matter what. Let’s have a plan for it, let’s set the table for it, let’s push beyond the awkward, and quit protecting turf that we imagine is there because we can’t imagine anything else. I’m putting on my imagination hat!

“But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations.” Psalm 102:12

My 10yo grandson has discovered the 1990s sitcom Family Matters. In every episode I hear him laughing his head off at some funny statement or situation of neighbors being neighbors and family being family.

I love the Christian family. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and savior, we get family. We get brothers and sisters, spiritual mothers and fathers, and lots of little people who make up the local Body of Christ we are constantly delighted by their joy and wonder in Christ all around the world.

What do we do with this new family? How are we to relate to one another as Christians? 

• Brothers & Sisters – All humans are image-bearers of our great and creative God, but only those who trust in Jesus Christ, God’s only son, are our brothers and sisters in the faith according to Romans 8:29; Romans 9:8; 1 John 3:1-3; and Hebrews 2:9-13, “Here am I, and the children God has given me.” (Hebrews 12:13b)
• Co-workers for Jesus – 1 Corinthians 3:5-10 “For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.” (vs 9)

How are we responsible to one another as Christians?

• We are to pray for one another – 2 Timothy 1:3; 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 “We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.” (vs 1)
• We are to minister to each other physically – Galatians 6:10; Romans 12:13 “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
• We are to minister to each other spiritually – Galatians 6:1-2; Hebrews 13:3; Romans 15:1-2 “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good; to build them up.” (vs 1)
• We are to encourage and edify one another – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Encourage one another and build each other up.
• We are to serve one another with humility – Matthew 20:25-28; Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (vs 3)

What is my attitude to be toward other Christians?

• Love them – John 3:14-16; 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all love each other deeply.”
• Be patient with them – Romans 15:5-7, “Accept one another as Christ accepted you.”
• Be sensitive to their needs – James 2:15-16; 1 John 3:17-18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (vs 18)
• Be forgiving of each other – Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13, Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

How do Christians share life in biblical fellowship with one another?

• In prayer – 2 Corinthians 1:11, favor is granted to us in answer to the prayers of many.
• In faith – Romans 1:12, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.
• In ministry – 2 Corinthians 8:4; Galatians 2:9 the privilege of sharing in service.
• In suffering – Philippians 3:10; 1 Peter 4:13, 5:1 “Rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ. One who will share in the glory to be revealed.”
• True biblical fellowship is in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ first and foremost – 1 John 1:3-7; 1 Corinthians 1:9-10 “God who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord is faithful.” (vs 9)

When we choose to follow Jesus, we’re related to others all around the world who follow Jesus. Personalities can still clash and wrongs will still happen. As Christians we have to respond differently though not all offenses can be resolved this side of Heaven.

The above teachings were part of a lesson about other Christians in Biblical Discipleship I participated in in 1996 in New England. I’d give credit if the documents I’ve kept on my shelf were marked with copyright or anything else. What I do know is that I’ve gone to these scriptures and these discipleship teachings almost monthly, if not weekly, to remind me that I am part of a family: the family of God. This is how we are to live together as the Body of Christ.

The church is an historical organization which has endured more than 2,000 years of chaos, strife, conflict, and the horrors of evil openly hostile to the things and people of Jesus. Yet the Bride of Christ still stands as a critical means of growth for the health of all Christians. Theologian Krista Bontrager shares, “When you are born (accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior) into the family of God, the local church is your family. You have a weird uncle, a crazy aunt, and brothers and sisters you didn’t ask for. But these are your people!” Thank you, Theology Mom.

“The disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.” Acts 11:26b

Everything I’ve ever done effectively has been within the community of a small group. From the local PTA to Bible study to my accountability group, I’m a better wife, mother, employee, coach, citizen, disciple of Jesus because of the efforts of sharing life in small groups. This is beyond chatting around a table. I’m talking REALLY sharing a season of life as friends-in-the-Lord or people-in-community-with-a-shared-goal. Though Jesus started the gospel of Matthew with a large group at the Sermon on the Mount, it’s what was discussed and wrestled to the ground in small group that made the content come to life, over time.

The most recent research coming out is telling us that the days of stadium preaching the gospel is giving way to sharing the gospel life in small groups. We can get great preaching and teaching beyond the 11am Sunday sanctuary ‘in our hands’ and ‘in our earbuds’, but small groups in our backyards, front porches, and parking lots is going to be the place to be for the local church’s message of the gospel to be effective as invitational, hospitable, relational, and necessary to grow in Godly wisdom and pass on our faith in Christ. It may be old school, but the local churches doing it well with systems and pre-discipleship will be schooling the ones who don’t.

I’m not responsible for small groups in my local church. I’m not even on the team that gets to have those conversations. So what can I do knowing a healthy small group system is effective ministry in my local church? I can have face-to-face conversations in the hallway, at the lunch table, and online before-hand. I toss out ideas and start conversations and ask questions. I’m interested in how others are keeping their minds on Jesus. I pray the Lord will let me show interest in how others are ‘small grouping’ in their context and within my own local church. I consider this pre-discipleship.

Pre-discipleship is walking directly into the obstacles and hurdles that stand in the way of the disciples of Jesus who want to grow in their faith in community, but are unable to because they’ve already decided their family commitments by the time we tell them what we’re doing.  Just because we announce it won’t make it a win. Christianity is fundamentally a text-based religion based on an historical event: Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Everything else we wrestle with, think about, discuss, practice, respond, experiment in devotional practices so that we grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man in community guided by the Holy Spirit. Yeah, but how do we fit it all in?

James Bryan Smith writes in The Good and Beautiful Life, “We live at the mercy of what we think about. What we think, determines how we live.” My families have way too much consuming their minds, but we can help if we prepare the way in pre-discipleship. Recalling the Bible account of the boy and his lunch feeding the 5,000 by the hands of Jesus, it was the boy’s Mama who prepared the way by making his lunch that morning.

Okay, enough about the why and the fruitfulness. Here are a few thoughts on how to keep the pre-discipleship conversations going….

Make it convenient – Think of ten people you’d like to know better and begin asking, “Hey, I’d like to spend more time getting to know you. If you were to be in a small group this fall, are days or evenings more convenient for you? I’m not asking you for a commitment right now, just trying to figure out what is the best timing for you.”

Make it relevant – What’s happening right now?

1.  The Chosen TV series – This series is free on my phone with The Chosen app, I can throw it on my Roku tv for the family from my phone, and Season 1 is on DVD. For those folks who don’t like that it’s not ‘true to the Bible’ in every scene, remember that it’s not a documentary. But IT WILL start some great conversations with anybody no matter where they are on their journey. It’s a great story! Our culture is made up of image-driven beings and we can use this well-done resource for some powerful conversations. They’ve put out an interactive Bible study on season 1 which has some great discussion questions. In the words of one of my local church saints, “Three good discussion questions make for a fabulous small group.” Families could watch the episode on their own, then come together for sacred conversation.  Intergenerational conversations. Another local church I know is doing this and rotating homes, locations, for a summer ‘pop-in’ small group. This could easily be rolled out church-wide.
2. Current sermon series – If your clergy team provides a sermon series, it’s low-hanging fruit to pull the livestream section from the YouTube channel and provide three good discussion questions on both social media and in-person. It’ll get the whole church talking about the series. Kidmin champions can locate an already-done-well video clip to make the content more developmentally appropriate for the littles and again, easy inclusion for intergenerational sacred conversations and makes mom and dad or grandparents the best sacred coaches.
3. Think of an August or September start up to the time change for your season. When the time changes, it’s dark earlier and it takes everyone longer to get from point A to point B. I live in the Greater Atlanta area so factoring in time and traffic are constant considerations.

Make it a partnership for a season – Plan to co-lead a small group. You’ll make a new friend or enjoy a deeper friendship with an old friend. Then, don’t take over! Be a full-on participant, but with keys. Count to 10 before you jump in. Listen a lot. Ask more questions than make statements. Support the small group by making room reservations and promoting it like you’re recruiting for VBS. I’ve discovered that when people are personally invited to be in your small group, your small group will either have enough to make OR you’ll learn why it won’t (inconvenient day/time, too long, too short, the subject matter isn’t relevant right now no matter how good the material is.)

With post-COVID culture, I’ve pulled out Chris Surratt’s Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to design your small-groups system to reach the fringes from Next Leadership Network. If ever there was a time to reach the fringes, it’s now.

“Everyone needs community, and we have to make it easy for them to find it.” – Chris Surratt, Small Groups For the Rest of Us

Our church theme this year of DISCIPLESHIP encourages our families to faithfully participate in worship, be involved in fellowship opportunities, and grow in our faith intergenerationally. Each summer our youth and adults are headed out on multiple local and international mission trips.  Our children share in the journey by praying over and sending out each mission trip member with a bandanna which we then see in the multiple photos that follow. The children decorate lunch bags for the MUST Ministries Summer Lunch Program and fill lunch bags on our Super Summer Lunch Prep Sunday in June.  But what about the day-to-day opportunities of being a blessing and serving in our own neighborhoods?

It’s hard enough for Moms and Dads to keep up with the hustle and bustle of swim practice, VBS, and road trips. Yet, we wanted to turn the focus of our little people from themselves to others. SO, we put together a bag of goodies to take the supply gathering stress away and offer ways kids can serve this summer without packing, without shots (required for some international mission trips), and without a ton of $$ as they go about their summer.

A swift look on pinterest under ‘random acts of kindness’ and a few blogs put me on a path of creativity. I gathered goodies from the 2nd floor supply room, ordered a small handbook of service projects online, and made up a list of children’s books focusing on kindness and we are set.

The pdf with the starter ideas is here:  Summer of Service Bags

I gathered lists and printables from several places including 100 Random Acts of Kindness for Kids, Random Acts of Kindness notes, Random Acts of Kindness tags, and Light ’em Up.

The Saints Book Club list for June and July I resourced from here. We added to the list The 100 Dresses by Eleanor Estes, A Little Rees Specht Cultivates Kindness by Richard E. Specht, Jr., and Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox.  All the books should be found at the local library and focus on kindness. There is a bonus: read Wonder by R.J. Palacio (the one with the added ‘Julian’ chapter.) Eight books for June and the other eight books for July. At our Saints Book Club gatherings this summer, we will include a service component.

Some new things will be offered at the beginning of July.  For now, this will get the creative juices flowing of our kids as they adopt a summer where it’s less about me and more about we. We’ll post stories and photos in the summer newsletters as our families serve together this summer.

How will your families serve together this summer?

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

“Thank you for investing in me as a professional Christian educator and as a sister in Christ. Thank you for providing the means and support for continuing education so that we are always serving at our best.” This is the text I sent to some members of our church’s Staff Parish Relations Committee and my supervisor the week I gathered with other professional Christian educators for an online conference I shared with other kidmin leaders.

If ever there was a time to model Christian community and deep dive into learning the best practices for reaching our community for Jesus, this is it. Travel days at the beginning and end of a conference invite us to share how and what we offer the families we serve. We talk about curriculum, special events, and tell stories of God’s faithfulness among our families and our community. We laugh, we snack, we get caught up in one another’s lives in faithful Christian community. We visit sacred spaces along the way. We laugh our heads off. (The picture above is of the Augusta Wesley Foundation’s worship space in downtown Augusta)

We work together to prepare and share meals, we chat about books we’ve read, people we’ve met, and which blogs/podcasts we are gleaning from to be catalysts for organizational health, to be better teachers and team members. We talk ministry in the local church 24/7. Really. 24/7. If we’re awake, we talk about Jesus and how we’re living a disciple’s life. We share struggles. We pray. 

The online conference provides the content and direction of conversations and ideas for how to roll out the best information in our contexts. We push back and wrestle some stuff to the ground. We stay at the table.

When the conference content is finished for the day, it’s time to process what we heard. We take care of our bodies (bike rides and coffee…more table life) and talk through the best of what we can take home to steward the ministry and families to the next level which may prove effective, relevant, developmentally appropriate in partnership with the families and staff team we serve.

So many holy habits practiced (prayer, Bible reading, serving, worship, learning, giving testimony, Christian community) as we model and live a disciple’s life in Christian community alongside other faithful disciples.

At the 2022 Children’s Pastors Conference we chose the online platform offered. CPC+ is presented by the amazing disciples at INCM, International Network of Children’s Ministry.  The online platform was less expensive for registration, housing, and transportation in good budget stewardship this year for several of us in February while other colleagues were able to participate at the in-person event in January. 

We’ve planned a CPC Recap event to share with our family ministry colleagues this week about bummer lambs, evangelism in any environment, tools to invite, incite, and equip families, as well as toolbelt tools to fight spiritual warfare and the differences in offering Bible knowledge and Bible wisdom for littles today. That was just the first day! In-person and online participants will be sharing at the recap hosted by an Alpharetta local church kidmin team for we are better together.

At the Child Discipleship Summit in Charleston two weeks later, we worked in small groups on how and why we must advance our maps for church growth of edu-tainment to the ‘twin cities’ of faithfulness and lasting faith as we fight secularism and teach our kids their truest identity is as a child of God. This room of leaders are pushing the doors and windows to lead littles into a radical pursuit of God, the total annihilation of idols, the resetting of altars in the home, at church, and in the community, wholehearted obedience to God’s Word, and the restoration of redemptive practices. We are missionaries in a land hostile to the things of God! Let’s draw new maps together.

The more I’ve chatted with others about what I’ve learned, the easier it is to bring a lot of great content into chewable pieces to implement and filter in my context. The Lord is setting the table today for what effective discipleship looks like, sounds like, smells like, and feels like in 2030 and beyond. I’ll bring a folding chair to the table the Lord is setting if I have to.

What are you learning? How are you processing what’s coming into your brain and getting lit up by the fire of your Holy Spirit? What’s the barrier for family discipleship in your context? What could be the greatest accelerator for family discipleship? 

“You can hold confetti and kleenex at the same time.” – Michayla White, CEO, INCM, CPC+2022

“Our children will look back on their childhood and find we created a lukewarm church. We’ve been asleep at the wheel.” – Rev. Jon Tyson, Child Discipleship Summit 2022

Grandparents hold a special place in the hearts of the grandchildren. It goes both ways. Grandparents are part of God’s continuing plan to grow up disciples of His son Jesus. Take a look at Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 to get a small glimpse of that plan.

We are leveraging that relationship and intentionally helping with a Grandparent’s toolbox to share their faith through a closed Facebook group entitled Faith Grandparenting and four in-person opportunities each year to share stories and resources to help them along their way we call Grandparenting With A Purpose. “You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like Him and leading others to do the same.” (Family Discipleship by Chandler & Griffin)

Last week’s Grandparenting With A Purpose: Holiday Edition, shared in-person and through a Facebook Live event on the closed Faith Grandparenting Facebook group, was a very special time to share life and some great ideas.

We serve a God of celebration! Through festivals, special food, visuals, decorations, and community we stop and remember the faithfulness of God: Passover, Festival of Tabernacles, Feast of Purim, Harvest time, Holy Communion. We celebrate with our five senses with special sights (lights, tablescapes, decorations), smells (food, spaces, candles), sounds (music, words), tastes (food), and touch (clothing, expressions of affection). Traditions offer rhythms for connection and belonging for which we are wired by our Creator.

Holidays like…
Thanksgiving – table cloth with names of who has shared the Thanksgiving table over the years; favorite foods and the magic of the “how” to make it; handwritten recipes and sharing the faith of the ones who started the family recipe.
Christmas – Ask “What three things will make Christmas Christmas?”; three gifts (Magi)
New Year’s – Do overs; time capsules; goals for physical, spiritual, family faith experiences.
Mardi Gras – Looking for the baby (Baby Jesus) in a King Cake; masks (God knows all of our mysteries).
Valentine’s Day – The greatest love story in all the world is John 3:16.
St. Patrick’s Day – story of St. Patrick; the color green reminds us to ‘grow in our faith’ continually and discussion of how we will do that this spring.
Independence Day – visit patriotic/historic places and share the stories of the faith of our founding mothers (Harriett Tubman, Abigail Adams, Susanna Wesley) and Christian heritage (John & Charles Wesley, George Washington Carver, Jimmy Carter).

Milestones like…
Birthdays teach our kids to celebrate others. On #1 Son’s 16th birthday we collected gifts of tools from Godly men who wrote him notes of wisdom for the tool they gifted. On Baby Girl’s 16th birthday we collected letters of wisdom from Godly women, teachers, and local officials we knew who knew Jesus and compiled a ‘Book of Wisdom’ she carries with her to this day.
Anniversaries teach kids to revisit big family moments. We will share that #1 Son and his lovely wife went to church for worship on their first date after greeting her at the end of the preschool Sunday school class she was teaching.
Spiritual Birthdays – annual celebrations of making their decision to follow Jesus with a gift, donuts (life without Jesus is like a hole in the middle of your heart), balloons (God is round about His people), they tell their faith story of when they decided to follow Jesus and how they’ve grown in the last year as we prepared a plan to move forward in the next year.
Gotcha Day – celebrating when an adoption came through to become part of the family.
Driver’s License – hold a ‘blessing of the license’; laying on of hands and speaking truth of this new responsibility.
New Home – praying through each room before moving in; a New Year’s home blessing.

Moments like….
Rediscovering the wonder of the everyday – my granddaughter remembers me when she smells biscuits and bacon.
Time to linger – breathe & sip; chill & chat
Gifts of time – my step mother checked me out of high school just to take me to lunch and we talk about the great issues of my teenage life.
Gifts of words – handwritten notes; postcards; journals; recipes; scribe the scriptures; gift a Bible.
New skills – teach about tea; take a cooking class, power tool class; shadow a church saint (Baby Girl shadowed an ER nurse from her home church to discover if nursing was really what God was calling her to. It WAS!)

For those in-person, they enjoyed an ice breaker with The Visual Faith Project, took home confetti cannons and their own Share the Love Drive-thru bags of goodies we’d prepared for our Children’s Ministry drive-thru that had taken place the Sunday afternoon before.

If the average age of a first-time grandparent in the USA is 47, this is a demographic who is leaning into Christian Grandparenting with tenacity. These are amazing disciple-makers and I want to be on their team.

How else can you build up your grandparents with a purpose of intentionally sharing their faith with their grandchildren?

“We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done.” Psalm 78:4

Listen to this and other posts on the In The Trenches with DeDe Reilly podcast.

Once we get to the point of lifting our heads from the calendar and demands of ‘Sunday’s always coming’, a professional will realize the skills that got us the job will not lead us to a place of health and thriving without some additional skills. What else do we need to know?

There was so much I really enjoyed in Rev. Dr. Carolyn Moore’s book I listened to it on Audible, as well. Filled with honorable storytelling and diligent fact-gathering, every turn of the page held greater weight for leading with authority and intentionality. This resource is for women AND men navigating the tension of what one naturally brings to the table and what is needed in reality.

Chapter 8: Equipping: Real-World Stuff Everyone Needs to Learn was the chapter of greatest interest for this less-than-formally-taught Christian Educator.  

Dr. Moore begins the chapter with the reminder that the ‘activity of strategy’ is what most church folk are looking for. But “until  I’ve done the foundational work of discovering my identity in Christ, of understanding what it means to take spiritual authority over my call, of making peace with the fact that I live in a fallen world, no amount of strategy will stick.” p. 137

If you are in this discovery, acceptance, and submission phase, I’m here for you. If you are lacking a liturgy for suffering, hurt, and perseverance to get you to the next place of perseverance, I’m here for you, too.

“Ministry leaders are more likely to survive when they know what they are getting into and how to navigate the challenges.” p. 138

Rev. Dr. Moore suggests an emphasis on focused, professional training in at least four major areas. I’ll list two below and add where I’ve discovered the most valuable for me.

Fund Development and Management – training in how to negotiate and financial leadership

Only the Lord knew that my dad’s insistence that I attend the local business college in finance the summer between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college would equip me with the language and rhythm of finance. Dr. Moore writes, “Discipleship gets real when we begin teaching and training in the area of money.”

Resources: 

Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey
Not Your Parent’s Offering Plate by J. Clif Christopher
Getting the Word Out: How to Market Your Ministry by Bunnie Jackson-Ransom

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned?

I was hired by a church to start a Family Ministry which included a weekday preschool and connections with the incoming students on the college campus on which the church was located. After six months the US economy tanked and the church leadership, led by retired professors, held their giving tightly. My salary had been provided for three years by an anonymous gift, but now there was no money for ministry. Looking at what was in my hand, I began selling hot pizza and cold Gatorades 10pm-1am Monday-Thursdays in the dorm parking lots to all the summer camps. I did this for all three summers I served there to fund the effective ministry for which I was hired.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned? 

I write thank you notes with stories twice each year to those who give to the children’s ministry designated account and other stakeholders in the ministry I’m responsible for. Without knowing the amount, I ask our financial lead for the list of donors who have given directly. Compiling stories in a google doc I’ll prepare a letter of thankfulness.  ‘Let me tell you how your investment in the kingdom is making a world of difference.’ 75% of the letter will be about the immediate past. 25% of the letter will be about the vision and plans for the upcoming season with an invitation to participate with their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness and bring your neighbors. This a best practice for all non-profits.

“Thankfulness strengthens relationships.” – Network for Good, LinkedIn

Leadership Development – training in team-based leadership

Resources:

The Servant by James C. Hunter
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek
Every book written by Patrick Lencioni
When Women Lead by Carolyn Moore
Small Groups For The Rest of Us by Chris Surrat

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned…

Years ago the only leadership development opportunities were led by and for Christian men, yet I still attended and brought other Christian women with me to such events at Catalyst, Children’s Pastors Conference, Drive, Stephen Covey, and read everything I could get my hands on about organizational leadership. I would start and lead Bible and book studies in small groups when I was available and when it would fit my own personal schedule. I hoped folks would come. They did. They do.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned:

I make it a priority to attend any free online training by people in the trenches, not just authors, such as She Leads Church (Christian women leaders in the marketplace and church space), Bible Creatives (those in the trenches of teaching Sunday school each week), and Children’s Pastors Conference (intentional leadership for me a disciple-maker AND as a disciple of Jesus).

Where have you received training in the areas of organizational money management and leadership development?

Next week I’ll cover the other two all-important skills Rev. Dr. Moore suggests. In the mean time, consider reading or listening to at least two books this summer in one of these areas especially if you intend on taking your ministry leadership to the next level and building those perseverance muscles.

“Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author, 1930-2009

During the quarantine, I researched the fruitfulness of VBS the way we’d always done it. Yes, we involved a slew of people to volunteer. Yes, we had crowds of kids in the hundreds. Yes, we threw everything we had at the walls, every wall, for an entire week. I found no new family connections for all that investment the traditional VBS way for us going back several years prior to 2020.

We had to do VBS differently in 2020. We chose a tailgate party with a jacked-up VBS large group for the families to enjoy at three different times on Thursday nights. Why Thursdays? Once everything returned (we really thought we’d be back in a few weeks) it would not interfere with other ministries returning. 

For the next 14 weeks, we gathered so our families ‘would not become accustomed to doing life without us’ after the initial 12 weeks of drive-thru family ministry every Tuesday at 1pm in March, April, and May. So we did parking lot family VBS every Thursday night in June, July, and August. The stage was a sidewalk. The classroom was their vehicle.

What happened? We had five new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner winner!

Summer 2021 rolled around and there lingered a continued caution. So we planned another Family VBS as a drive-in service playing games as a family, telling stories about Jesus, theming out each evening in June & July, dancing and singing praises to the Lord. We highlighted and involved a different ministry each night (ex: Men’s Ministry on Nerf Game Night). Five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner, winner!

Summer 2022 rolled around and we decided to continue this different Family VBS because (1) it was connectionally fruitful, (2) we didn’t need as many volunteers (still an issue today for almost everyone), (3) we added some table life to it through a generous donation to include a food truck each night and an ice cream truck going into neighborhoods immediately following and (4) we had one service to throw at it everything we had. 

What we learned from Family VBS 2022?

• The table life added more stress as only 3 out of 5 food trucks proved reliable.
• Including tables meant more volunteers and set up was a bear as take down had to be complete before moving on to anything else in the wicked heat.
• Rather than the tables being a space to engage as a family, it separated adults from their kids.
• Leaving to escort an ice cream truck into a local neighborhood meant some folks were left eating in the parking lot due to late food trucks. Missed hospitality.
• More families attended since it wasn’t in one single week, but were able to schedule out one or more of the 5 Thursdays in June and felt they didn’t miss a thing. Consistency matters.
• We had five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Still a connectional winner.

So what about 2023? 

We are doing Family VBS again because (1) it continues to be connectionally fruitful, (2) we don’t need as many volunteers and the volunteers can be different every week, (3) we are using a larger, shaded, grassy area which can be seen and heard from the street which is now available, (4) Using ReFocus Ministry’s generational discipleship curriculum: Talk Tools, (5) better stewardship of a decreasing budget, (6) we have 3 rounds of VBS training which explains our WHY and practices hospitality skills.

The schedule looks like this: “Building our faith this summer as we ‘serve one another humbly in love’” (Galatians 5:13)

5:45pm – Building stations w/art station, magnetile station, lego station, straws/connector station. In years passed we’d use consumables. This year, we will use items we can repurpose in the Welcome Center to better steward the VBS budget.

6:10pm – Assume-your-positions song: Take Me Back to Church by Cochren & Co.

6:15pm – Worship Music begins (start song: He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands – this year’s call to worship) with another song (we build a Spotify playlist w/VBS songs we curate)

6:20pm – Family games (provided by ReFocus) transitioning to story with a song

6:30pm – Bible story (always about Jesus)
6:35pm – Family response activity (by ReFocus)

6:45pm – Family affirmations (by ReFocus)

6:50pm – JumpStart3 Matthew 7:24-25 House On The Rock! closing song w/invite, “We’ve loved spending the evening together and would love to get to know you better. We’ll be packing everything up by 7pm and heading to ? restaurant for dinner and would love to have you join us.” We tested some dine-out locations during Lent and have made arrangements with local restaurants we’re going to. This lets us be a ‘good neighbor’ together.

Follow-up (setting the table for the next step in generational discipleship right quickly)

1. Sunday morning building our faith continues in June & July with Sign Language class for K5-2nd grades & Power Tool Building class for 3rd-5th graders. Looks like McEachern Academy.
2. Invites to various Christmas in July events in July aka Christmas caroling to shut-ins, snow machines, marshmallow games, Tall/Small Paint Party, Women’s Ministry potluck & sundae bar, Promotion Sunday, Prayer Warrior Bootcamp, National Ice Cream Sunday at the Gaga Ball pit.

If you are local or local enough and would like to bring a bus/van/car load of kids (your church kids or just the ones you live with) to see what it looks like, we’d love to have ya. We’ll take care of the programming.

I love VBS and all that it entails, if it’s fruitful and blesses the socks off littles and bigs alike. I also love doing generational discipleship which is fruitful and measurable. And I REALLY love dancing before the Lord in praise on Thursday nights with little people and their bigs. By the way, our Student ministry is handing out freeze pops each Thursday night at the end because building our faith through serving together is generational discipleship. Our Women’s Ministry small groups are rolling out the red carpet in as the hospitality team for each Thursday. Teamwork at its best!

“Serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

The scriptures share that for 50 days, the Lord Jesus made His way around His world appearing to more than 500 including His brother, James. The Lord Jesus had a ton of work and coverage to do following His resurrection and so do we.

We Methodists call this Easter Season the Great Fifty Days beginning sunset Easter Eve through Pentecost Sunday. “It is the most joyous and celebrative season of the Christian year.” (UMC Discipleship) I shared a few ideas for April which can be found here.

Many of the Sunday celebrations which follow in May are filled with family celebrations like Confirmation, Graduation, etc. But that’s on Sunday. So, what else?

Before we jump straight into VBS mode, can we ask a few questions around a couple of tables, in prayer, and leverage the power of the Holy Spirit for intentional movement of ‘spring strategy for summer strength’ rather than settling for ‘spring bumps into summer slumps’? (Dan Reiland)

Grandparenting With A Purpose is the second Tuesday evening in May. Grandparents gather to learn and share tips for intentionally sharing their faith with their grandchildren during the May celebrations and the upcoming summer. Prepare a summer calendar of dates and places where grandparents and their grandchildren can be together to celebrate and make sticky faith formation memories: Family VBS, National Ice Cream Sunday, Gaga Ball pit chats, June summer dine-outs, vacation, storytelling with photo albums, etc. GOAL: Intentional plans for grandparents to share their faith stories and engage in faith conversations throughout the summer. Discipleship can come with a dinner plate and the kitchen table/garden can become the new classroom with a little planning. (Dr. Josh Mulvihill)

Summer Book Buddies This is a result of asking, “What’s in our hand?” We received two baskets of Beanie Babies over the last year and I’ve held on to them. We invited the church Book Clubs to donate used copies of biographies of Christian men and women of multiple reading levels to further build our Saints Library of paperbacks for littles and their bigs. Kids will be invited beginning on Mother’s Day to ‘adopt’ a Book Buddy for the summer for Bible and sacred book readings. We’ll schedule random outings this summer for littles to bring their Book buddies and chat about what we’re learning at the park, ice cream shop, lunch, breakfast, etc. GOAL: Summer reading while at home and on the road; Faith sharing reading for fun especially for those who do not like to read. Another opportunity to support a local business and be in the community as a family of faith.

Pentecost Sunday Everyone wears red! Use a birthday cupcake to introduce the birthday of the church with a candle that won’t go out. How will you fan the flame of the Holy Spirit in your own life this Easter Season for a strong summer?

“For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.” 1 Corinthians 15: 3-6