One of the best ways to reach the community we serve is to offer families what they can not do on their own or may be way more complicated to make happen on their own like…

CPR/Basic First Aid Training – Contact the local American Red Cross and get on their schedule for a Sunday afternoon or Saturday morning. Local scouts, parents, and local businesses need CPR and basic first aid training. Roll out the hospitality red carpet, get registration information to build your community database, and make your space bright, clean, and warm. Contact the local daycares and local businesses to let them know you will be offering it with a face-to-face invite.

A Last Gift of Love – Organize a basic informational meeting or four separate mini 45-minute- to 1-hour gatherings with an attorney about the laws on wills and powers-of-attorney; a financial planner about beneficiaries; a funeral director about what to do when a loved-one dies; local senior services; life, health, long-term-care insurance instruction. Promote this to young families by letter or postcard to help begin the conversations of taking care of their parents as well as their children. So many of my local church’s young parents are dealing with these issues right now and they don’t even know where to begin. When my mother-in-law passed away suddenly several years back, I was so grateful for prior general conversations with a congregant who was an estate attorney to help us know where to begin. I am forever grateful.

Driving Practice – Put out a dozen orange traffic cones and offer driving and parking practice or a space/time for families in the evening in your large parking lot. Offer water bottles and lawn chairs for chatting. Be sure to offer a prayer over the learner’s permit and the driver’s license when it’s earned. What a milestone to share with a local family! Promote with yard signs.

Playground playdates – offer a regular, intentional time for preschool children to come to play with their parents/grandparents when you can be there to let the kids play and make space for conversations about what every preschool parent deals with such as nighttime routines, picky eaters, pediatricians, where shoes are on sale, etc. Set the time for 1 hour – 1.5 hours and offer a prayer time to close out your time together. Over time, regular routines, growing trust relationships, enjoying some laughter. Not a drop off, but rather a drop in. If you have a preschool or daycare, you’ll have easy promotional avenues.

College/Job Application skills – enlist the help of a college professor who might be in your church for their partnership.

Home Improvement Classes – enlist the help of a general contractor in your church to teach basic home improvement skills for kids WITH their parents and grandparents for measuring, leveling, hanging drywall or spackling, painting, trimming bushes, community container gardening.

Each one of these can neighborly extend the love when you….

• Purchase honorarium gift cards for your instructors at local businesses and tell the business why you are purchasing the gift cards. Shop local and let the local business know you will be sending someone their way with the gift card. 
• Shop local. Find a mom & pop or local family business to support. These are the folks who are feeding their families directly from your business. Come from a place of generosity rather than ‘what can you give me?’

• Find out when the local community will be offering a farmer’s market (spring/summer) and holiday parade (summer/Christmas) and go through the paperwork to walk in the parade or offer a ‘station’ in the kid’s area. Find the community calendar online for your town and invest in a plastic A-frame sign or table cloth with your church or children’s ministry logo to set up then prepare to chat with folks about their lives wearing a church t-shirt. Use a local vendor for your t-shirts.
• Discover the ‘walking’ schedule of the local neighborhood nearest your church, then invite a couple of church members (Jesus never sent out His disciples one at a time, but rather two, three, and up to seventy) to join you for a walk. Load up a rolling cooler with iced down freezer pops, safety scissors to clip the tops, and a side trash bag to collect the empties. Stroll as you roll and start some conversations fully intending to make some new friends of your new neighbors as being a frequent walker in the neighborhood. You can’t walk every neighborhood, but you could certainly dedicate March & April to one and learn it deeply.  Pray for each home you walk pass and consider writing a blessing on the sidewalk (not their driveway UNLESS you know them, then by all means!).

Gentle Reminder: Registration will probably be last minute and may be small. Do it anyway to build trust with your neighbors that your yes will be yes and your no will be no. If you promote it, do it. Promote it at least 60-days out with the understanding that it may take families a while to budget their time to build in the margin to make the registration. 

We all need new friends. We all need a good walk. We all should be learning new things. We all learn better together.

What other ideas do you have to be a good neighbor?

Dr. Lawson Murray published a blogpost entitled, “Developing a New Plan for Children’s Ministry” last November addressing many of the hot topics in today’s local church regarding ministry with families. Children’s ministry people rarely get seats at the tables where decisions are made about these hot topics yet they will respond with excellence. So we set a table especially for those who serve in ministry with children and families with in-person and online seats to chat about several of the hot topics mentioned in Lawson’s blogpost.

With great thanks to our host Tambryn Freund at Dunwoody UMC, a ten-minute limit to each topic, and the great note-taking skills of Vic Harmon of Alpharetta First UMC, the following amazing insights from the kidmin champions who took a seat at the table will be guiding my planning in 2022. 

Hot Topic Table Notes:  Remember We Are BETTER TOGETHER!

Why should we develop a new plan for children’s ministry?

#1 Children’s Ministry is NOT a priority
• If the church leadership focus is on 40s, 50s, 60s-year-olds, that is the perfect demographic for Grandparents since the average age of a first-time grandparent is 47 years old. We can focus on providing ministry to Grandparents and their grandchildren.
• First time grandparents are seeing the value in spiritual development for their adult children and grandchildren.

#2 No Collaboration in faith formation
• Pre-pandemic some schools allowed a Bible Club before school
o Find a Christian teacher/PTO parent who is willing to head it up and find a way into the schools.
• Misconception of collaboration: programming for adults and programming for the kids doesn’t equal collaboration
• Get your local school calendar and find out about school events to piggyback or creatively support
o We need to know what’s in the rhythm of our community, so find out what the local school is doing, and pick a different lane.
o Example: If the schools are doing a “Santa Shop” then we don’t need to also do one.
• During events, take time to pause and create space for adults and their kids to chat. Model what faith-based conversations can be like, and show them it isn’t as scary, difficult, or time consuming as they thought.
• Make your presence known in the community
o Support teachers, families, etc.…

#3 Program Driven vs. Relationship Driven
• People say they want it to be the way it was, but do they really? Parents are exhausted with change, so even though we keep wanting to change things for the better, there has been some push back to just go back to the way it was.
• During the last couple of years, parents have put themselves on the backburner, so what if we do something to encourage lingering time and community building for parents.
o Like once a month offer coffee/hot chocolate outside the kid’s area, to invite parents to hang out for a little bit, while some of our volunteers work the room to connect with parents.

#4 Resources and Tools are not flexible!
• Sundays are no longer sacred, because extracurriculars and jobs are done all the time now.
• How can we meet families outside of Sunday Morning? And is it worth it?
o Focus on building community with adults
o Once a month, take parents to lunch, while the kids are in school and talk about everyday things, focus on building connections.  This also works for dinners if parents work during the day.
• Very short-term Bible studies (3 weeks)
o Keep it short, 1-1 ½ hours.
o Set the boundary that if you want time to chat come 30min early, because once it’s time to start we have to start.
o Example: 5 Love Languages of kids
§ Week #1: What are the 5 Love languages of Kids?
§ Week #2: How to know your child’s love language?
§ Week #3: How to keep it going at home?

#5 Parents are not taking a lead role in faith formation
• GIVE GRACE to parents because teaching faith formation was not modeled for them
• GIVE GRACE to yourself because how to equip parents for faith formation was not modeled for us
• Partner with the Associate Pastor or Adult Leaders and work together to model faith formation.
• Family Events! Share the responsibility of faith formation within family events with other areas of the church.
• Get Grandparents to share the lessons they learned in parenting to new or younger parents.
• Keep trying! If we model this now, we will see the fruit in this next generation.

#6 Intergenerational Ministries are limited
• When children participate in worship services all people know is children singing. We now have to reteach what it means to have children in service.
• Invite 50s, 60s, and 70-year-olds to volunteer while parents are with their kids
o Example: Advent Craft event, parents want to be/need to be with their children while doing crafts, so invite the 50s, 60s, 70s, to volunteer to lead the stations, so that parents can have that time learning alongside their child.
• Incentives for kids to take notes in worship
o Coins and treasure
o Blackout Bingo of words to listen for in the worship service

#7 Nursery (this topic has been the hottest since last fall as all churches are struggling to staff church nurseries)
• How do we get people to work? How much do we need to pay?
• Safe Sanctuaries doesn’t say they have to be paid, just trained
• The salaries most churches pay nursery workers is a social justice issue; we must respond with great generosity and it’s true value as a ministry, not just a support. 
• Partner paid staff with volunteers
o Paid staff does the diaper change, disciple, check in, feeding, etc. while the volunteer plays with and/or interacts the kids and parents/grandparents
• Short-term commitments
o Asking, “Can you serve 3 times in the next 3 months?”
• Appreciation as we would a volunteer with such valuables as gas gift cards to offer additional financial support if unable to increase per-hour pay
• Paid Compensation to specialized skills such as Nursery Hospitality 
o Not paid hourly, rather paid a stipend
o Show up 30min before and stay 30min after, plus 2 hours during the week to follow up with families and to check in and see how they are doing with monthly hospitality coaching.

Last Thoughts
• Go to Sunday School classes and ask them to sponsor Volunteer Appreciation, then follow up with Sunday School class about who it went to.
o Always give credit to who sponsors, tag them on social posts. Or if they don’t have social media, print the picture and give it to their Sunday School class
o Example: if a Sunday School class sponsored a lunch for your volunteers, have a sign that said, Lunch is Provided by _______Sunday School Class, and have attendees take a photo with it, and that’s what goes on social media.
• Find people in the church who have specialized skills like beautiful handwriting and invite them to participate in a way that fits their skills.
o Example: Give them a list of families with addresses in October that your ministry is sending Christmas cards to and ask them to hand-address each envelope. Then each family receives a handwritten card from your ministry at Christmas.

Children’s Ministry champions are the most creative and adaptable disciple-makers on the planet. They are active in the trenches with the families we serve as well as the families we seek to serve. They are knowledgeable and wise. The next table for hot topics will be set on the west side of the North Georgia Conference in February. I can’t wait!

Hiring a Lead in ministry with children used to be about hiring a teacher with creative decorating skills, training in behavior management, and a Vacation Bible School coordinator. Not anymore.

In my conversations with search teams and pastors over the last few weeks, these have been just a few of the questions we have chatted about…

Do you live in the community? If the pastor’s answer is YES, then it opens the door to consider an experienced candidate who is a connector who may commute. If the lead is expected to pull daily office hours, a commuter won’t fit. Ask what would it take for the hired lead to be trusted to get the job done without daily office hours? Everyone wants someone with experience, but what kind of experience would permit him/her to work from a home office at least one day each week? I commute an hour plus from my home to the church building, typically three days per week, but I connect by phone, social media, email and more, plan, research, collaborate, and learn all the other days, except Friday Sabbath, at tables all over the place including the home office.

If the pastor does not live in the local church community, then it would be wiser to hire someone who does. It’s important to have someone on staff living in the community the church serves. That person will know the rhythm of the community, attend the local school meetings, the cross country meets, and will know the holiday parade schedule, among all the things which make that community special. They’ll know how the community shops, drives, vacations, learns, and plays. 

Hint: Go to the next couple of PTA meetings and watch who ‘works the room’, chats with lots of people with a resting face of ‘joy’, or has great kids who enjoy being in groups of people.

Story: An innovative kidmin lead was hired from a school event as she worked the room. It was discovered she was a connector who ran local political campaigns which made for a perfect fit for a new church start’s children’s ministry. She earned a Christian education certificate to get the theology part down. After 3-4 years she handed off a healthy, vibrant ministry and a new kidmin church building to a supportive church when she moved on to pioneer a new endeavor. I learned so much from her about marketing, packaging, vocabulary, and sustainable energy.

As the local church’s head disciple-maker, as clergy, willing to teach someone how to do ministry? Not as a micro-manager, but would you be willing to hire a networker personality and not be annoyed because they don’t yet know how to build a ministry budget? The amazing kidmin community of the North Georgia UMC Conference can walk alongside a teachable networker to build a candidate’s skillset like budgeting, calendar management, collaboration, Safe Sanctuary, curriculum decisions, and more. There are some skills a kidmin lead will need to be part of his/her nature like connecting outside their department/local church with other ministry leads, making new friends, team building/recruiting, gratitude, helpfulness, communication clarity, a learner, generosity, a great sense of humor, trustworthiness, a desire for other disciples to succeed, to equip the saints to do the ministry of the church, goal setting, and loving people. There is a big difference between event-planning and really loving people to Jesus. Skills are important, but personality traits may be more important. Know what the pastor team can teach, what he/she is willing to teach, and what will annoy the daylights out of them to teach. 

Hint: Whatever the job description in your hand, it’s outdated. Post-COVID has set the pace and priorities of families we serve on it’s head. 

Look at the printed job description understanding there may be too much to ask of one person, especially from the get-go. Be okay with a dream list of tasks. It may be more reasonable to bullet-point the top, most important 5-10 tasks from which to grow the job description with the natural giftedness/bent a candidate can bring to the table. You’ll be surprised at what could be fabulous. Evaluate and check-in from those items every 30-60 days. Let the job description grow into the ministry you dream about for the future for your families. I re-evaluate my job description every January because a healthy ministry is always growing and changing to the audience we serve. Read more about that here.

Hard question: Do you really want your kidmin to look just like the one that can be found at every other church? When a person serves the local church in their natural giftedness and bent, what could burnout one person might just energize another. 

What are the three most important things that have to happen in your context within the next year if the church were to start from scratch? – VBS? Christmas Eve kid’s service? Sunday morning numbers? Midweek? New people? Retention of volunteers? Folks on-ramping in the kid’s area then getting connected in another? Full programming (whatever that means)? Returning numbers? New numbers?

What about the first 90-days? – connecting with a monthly networking group, already engaging social media, in-person detail, evangelism (be specific with a definition), mission (defined), a clean database, priority programming, marketing, event planning, reading a book on ministry systems?

Hint: Break down your church year into quarters. What has to happen in that quarter no matter what? It may not look like an event to plan, but a opportunity to piggy-back, partner, share, and not even on a Sunday.  This is especially helpful with a small to mid-size church when resources feel more limited and you will need whole-church buy-in.

This we know:

There is lots of movement this year. Hardly anything moved last year due to COVID, so if nothing else, this year seems extra.

• COVID has caused people to reassess their priorities, so people are relocating into and out of the area. Use all the means possible, not just church staffing sites, to post the position and network, network, network.
• There are lots of open positions, many of them part-time in smaller to mid-size churches. That’s okay. Our current societal structure encourages side-hustles. You’d be surprised at the work and elegant art that can be attended to with excellence by someone trained in other fields like counseling, teaching, preschool, real estate, etc. which can rock the church house in growing a ministry with families.
• Consider hiring for a period of one-year, then reassess. 
• Require networking and specific continuing education as part of the job and allow time for it.

What else?

Realistic and reasonable expectations make for a much more enjoyable workplace. Hiring new staff is a disciple-making opportunity, and we must always be looking for ways to make the experience better. Next week I’ll share more about hiring a pioneer and the most important question every candidate should ask. 

Other Resources:
UM Discipleship Ministries: Recommendations for Hiring a Children’s Ministry Director
HR Daily Advisor: How to Spot Talent
StartChurch: Hiring Church Staff
8 Truths of Hiring Church Staff

A decision was made by our church leadership to pause gathering in-person, on-campus for a period of time to allow the spike in COVID positives to subside. It was also the very week almost a dozen new Bible studies and small groups were to begin. I had made the decision early on to partner with a young mom to lead a small group in-person on Thursday mornings specifically focused on our preschool families. I had also made the commitment to co-lead the same study by ZOOM on Wednesday evenings so not to be away from home another night of the week. Sunday morning took a pause and these small groups did not begin, so I had some new-found margin.

I do not want our families to grow accustomed to doing life without the local church, so I asked, “What’s in my hand?” and “How can we love on our families?” easily, regularly, and energetically? Our county schools are not meeting in-person, nor online on Wednesdays mornings. We have a bus with our name on it. We have a great story: Jesus. We have popcorn, rocks, a wireless speaker, and Spotify.

We invited families to host a Pop In by registering online on Wednesdays 1:30pm (give our preschool families time to get home), or at 3pm (give our other-county students time to get home). Hosts promote the Pop In in their neighborhood and among their kid’s friends (kids have been playing with other kids in their own neighborhoods since forever), collect registration forms (you never know who doesn’t have a church home), and a snack (freeze pops). We take care of the rest!

We arrive 30 minutes early and start the music – McEachern Kids Pop In Spotify playlist which we share before and after to the emails shared on the registration forms/social media.
Hula Hoops – offers safe social distancing and arrival physical fun.
Welcome – Intro me ( name and “I love Jesus), the driver (name and “He loves Jesus), and sometimes a guest (name and “She loves Jesus.”) Then ask, “Do you know our Jesus?” leaving room for answers.
Intro the Bible – ask, “Who has a Bible?” “This is my Bible and in it…..”
Read 1 Corinthians 14:1 “Go after a life of love.” Ask, “What do you GO AFTER?” (Mom, spaghetti, video games, fishing) “A life of love is when we help other people know they are loved.”
Activity – Decorate a rock (pencil first, then paint markers, on a paper mat/work space) to “leave for someone to know they are loved, as they go wherever they go.” Enlist the help of the adults in attendance to hand out stuff so each child hears multiple voices of helpfulness from their own neighborhood peeps and my church bus driver.
Closing – Read “Wherever You Go, I Want You To Know” by Melissa Kruger, illustrated by Isobel Lundie.
We bless their painted rock (lay hands on) with a repeat-after-me prayer teaching that when we bless something we are setting it apart for a sacred and Godly purpose. I tell the story of my grands leaving painted rocks all over their new town in Oregon to share the love of Jesus. Their parents moved there to help start a church and in this way even the children could serve their new community in ministry.
Take-aways – Students get a folder with multiple at-home family SHARE THE LOVE activities related to their own hometown (we have three hometowns we focus on); a bag of popcorn with “Thanks for poppin’ in!” with our social media contact info.
Holy habits taught and caught: Bible reading, generosity, prayer, service, play.

We learned:
• Going out is easier than staying in; and the Lord gave us the best weather every. single. Wednesday. we went out.
• We used the church bus because it’s a big statement, but I could’ve used my car and ordered a big magnet for the doors. A church bus is ‘what was in my hand.’
• Kids and parents need a break, even if just for 20 minutes.
• Families stay to chat, so we have to honor the time commitment of our host and leave no later than 10 minutes after we finish. Our meet & greet time is as they arrive. Our hosts take care of the back-end hospitality.
• The host gets face-to-face time with everyone in their neighborhood when they collect the registration form info.
• ALL KIDS like to paint, hear a story read to them, eat popcorn/freeze pops, even 4th grade boys.
• We extended Pop Ins through all of February since some families wanted to host more than once (equipping the saints).
• Three different bus drivers who have three different seats at leadership tables now share how they were able to love kids to Jesus when the church took a Sunday pause (equipping the saints.)

What’s in your hand? How can you invite your families to offer the spaces to tell the greatest story ever told?

“The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.” Psalm 29:11

Dallas Willard once said, “Every church ought to ask two questions. What is our plan for making disciples, and is that plan working?”

A plan for making disciples of Jesus is a discipleship plan. As I’m responsible in the local church for students kindergarten through fifth grade, and at home as a parent and grandparent to be a disciple-maker, there are certain skills which must be at the core. These skills should be taught and caught by teaching, practice, and multiple developmentally appropriate experiences over time, in moments, and as milestones.

We call these skills ‘holy habits’ because they are not one-and-dones, but rather repeated as habits. We introduce each one specifically as a Faith Milestone.

Prayer – talking and listening to our great God both by ourselves and in Christian community. This holy habit is practiced individually and in community.

Bible reading/study – God speaks to His people with language to know His heart, His expectations, His love, and His plan for all people whom He created in His own image in The Bible. This holy habit is practiced individually and in community.

Generosity – everything belongs to God and He invites us to accept His gift of salvation through His son Jesus. In response to God’s generosity, we generously bring His goodness into the world through service, giving, and thinking of others before ourselves. This holy habit is practiced individually and in community.

We don’t list worship as a skill because we teach that everything we do which tells Jesus, “I love you!” is worship. Everything! … practiced individually and in community. 

Just this last week we offered the faith milestone entitled, I Can Pray. It’s a faith milestone specifically for 1st and 2nd graders. Each little person attends with a big person. We believe what they experience with someone they love and is involved in their everyday life is much more sticky than just attending an event as an individual. Again, we are better disciples in community.

We set up various prayer stations outside using various prayer tools which each student collects to take home. Each little and their big learn together. They practice together. They take the tool home now knowing what to do with it to help them pray to our great God who hears the prayers of His people, especially little people.

Outdoor stations this year included anointing oil, sidewalk chalk, fidget spinners, a yoga mat, dissolving paper, a picture of Jesus, praying with crayons, playdoh, and a journal.

We teach that prayer is both talking and listening to God. When we pray ‘in Jesus’ name’ we claim “Yes! I believe this is true because of Jesus.” The words we use to pray are special to God. AMEN means “truly”, “indeed”, and “so be it.” The prophet  Isaiah refers to God as “God of the Amen” or truth (Isaiah 65:16) AMEN might be the most widely known word in the world, because even disciples of Jesus in other parts of the world like China, Japan, Brazil, Nigeria, and Spain, who speak various languages, also close their prayers with AMEN. 

Jesus used AMEN at the beginning of His teachings more than 70 times in the New Testament. Each time Jesus started with ‘truly’ or “verily”, He was going to speak truth and He wanted all of His disciples to know it. We say AMEN at the end of a prayer. Jesus said it at the beginning of His teachings because Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and the life and no one comes to Father except through Him.

There are many other holy habits and we teach those, as well. These are the three we spend a lot of time on because these are foundations of a growing faith in Jesus and these are the holy habits which Jesus did, both individually and in community. The research also reports that these three practices are the most influential in a Christian making strides in their faith and belief in Christ. 

“Churches that have a clear path into discipleship…that get people engaging their faith or at least experiencing it, will see greater success than churches that invite you to merely attend.” Carey Nieuwhof, 5 Post Pandemic Church Grow Accelerators

May we be found faithful to equip our littles with the skills to grow in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man on an intentional pathway to following Jesus so that they know what it looks like to love the Lord our God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength and love their neighbor as themselves for their whole lives.

“This is what the Lord Almighty says, ‘Give careful thought to your ways.'” Haggai 1:7

Parenting With A Purpose classes offer tribe-building among our families with shared values and intentionality. The 90-minute classes include a parenting hot-topic, some dessert, discussion time, and no judgment. We started in 2018 with Sharing Your Faith With Your Family. As our families are navigating COVID-world, there is an even greater need to equip parents to be disciple-making-disciples. 

• Promotion Information: Parents, grandparents, and caregivers of children are invited to a discussion of practical ideas to navigate holy habits at home as we lead our children to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength AND love our neighbors as ourselves on Tuesday, 6-7:30pm. Dessert will be served.
  
• Take Away: Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
• A McEachern saint’s famous homemade fudge. (Thank you, Rebecca McCoy!)
  
  Primary Resources:
• Resilient: Child Disciples and The Fearless Future of the Church by Valerie Bell
• Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a new Generation to Follow Jesus in Digital Babylon by David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock (Barna Group)
• Settle For Nothing Less: Engaging Kids in a Lifetime of Faith by Jana Magruder (Lifeway)
• Stride: Creating A Discipleship Pathway for Life by Mike Schreiner and Ken Willard
• Biblical exiles who ‘won’ at following God (Joseph, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Ezra, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Daniel, Esther, Peter, John)
• Plenty of personal stories

The goal of the evening was to give research and personal testimonies to the resilient disciples who continued to remain in Christian community and a growing relationship with Jesus through the remarkable moments of life at all stages and in all ages. There is more than enough information about children who left the faith or left the church once they aged into their teens or twenties. I wanted to share the remarkable stories of those who remained faithful to grow in their relationships with God and in Christian community. These exiles are the resilient disciples who lived, are living, in the tension of culture and have continued to love Jesus and His people through it all.

A person is described as resilient who is able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. A resilient disciple is a follower of Jesus who remains active in Christian community and Christian service when culture and geography would encourage them otherwise. The biblical prophets write throughout the scriptures of the remnant of God’s people who sought to live faithfully loving God for the rest of their lives no matter what their circumstances. We tell the stories of these brave few with wonder and admiration. There is not a Christian parent or grandparent who doesn’t want that for their own children, but what does it take for us to grow those muscles in our kids? What really matters, over time?

Major info to share:

Three practices of soul training which equip disciples to make the greatest strides in their faith in Jesus:
– Bible Reading
– Generosity
– Service

The #1, by far, best predictor of spiritual health for young adults is regularly reading the Bible as a child.

Screens disciple.

That which dictates our schedules, finances, and conversations is a family liturgy. The local church can provide the resources to equip families so that whatever they do, they can do all of life to the glory of God.

What does a resilient disciple look like?
(1) Meaningful relationship with Jesus: through community and holy habits they find JOY in Jesus. Bible Reading & Prayer
(2) Cultural discernment: they participate in a robust learning community where they can think and talk of the scriptures.
Share testimony and stories of God’s faithfulness
(3) Meaningful intergenerational relationships with Jesus-loving people: the best way for kids to learn to love Jesus is to spend time with people who love Jesus.
Active in community
(4) Vocational Disciples: a theology of work, activity, leisure, time, learning/education
Calling to honor and please the Lord
(5) Countercultural Mission: a resolve to live differently than culture though a full-on participant in culture as the light of Christ.

In this season where children are part of the Body of Christ, though not together or included in many local churches, they are indeed exiles. This research is a perfect starting point to determine priorities in the local church’s partnership with parents/grandparents to disciple their disciples. Lord, let me be found faithful to equip my families to have a robust, vibrant, joyful faith that will fuel how they nurture their children into resilient disciples: to love Jesus their whole lives for the rest of their lives.

“We want to welcome you to the resilient church of 2050…the church that has been loving Jesus for all of their lives.” Valerie Bell, from Resilient: Child Discipleship and the Fearless Future of the Church, pg 205

Connection is happening in a whole host of new ways in 2020. Where we would typically pour ourselves out into a Sunday, we now get to pour ourselves out into families in a more personal way with the words of the Lord. I’m no Bible scholar by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a satisfied customer of the scriptures.

I earned my degree from Louisiana State University (Geaux Tigers!) in Political Science with a minor in Greek and Roman History because of the power of words to move people to action: spoken and written. Words spoken into and over my life as a child, by the people in my family and world over time, have been re-written by the scriptures. They have brought me courage as a girl, strength as a single woman and student, encouragement as a wife, guidance as a mom, endurance as a leader cut by stained glass, and armor as I grew from a girl of the church into a woman of faith called by God to teach. I even have a ring of index cards filled with the scriptures which have molded and carved me into who I am today. The best part? I added a new card just this week because the scriptures continue to whittle. 

This ring of scriptures written by my own hand have walked with me for more than thirty years. My handwriting has changed a bit. My journey has been nothing what I imagined, but this is evidence of my walk with Him and His walk with me through all the seasons so far. When our daughter spent 4.5 months in Senegal, Africa between college and nursing school in the mission field, she carried this ring of scriptures with her. When I have endured spiritual warfare in various heavenly places, I now know what it looks like, smells like, sounds like, and acts like to armor-up for the long-haul. There is great power in these scriptures. There is power in His word.

Pointing the families I serve to the Jesus of the scriptures has been my goal especially over the last several months. I reach out on Sunday mornings with scriptures to everyone in my phone whom I love by text. I reached out on the first day of school by text with scriptures and prayers. I reply on social media with these scriptures. I run to them when I’m lost. I hold them close when I need to be reminded that I’m beloved and called for such a time as this.

Pastor Matt Crane taught in a sermon recently about five growth stages of the Christian life:

• Babies – aka the born again Christian who needs milk (1 Peter 2:2; Hebrews 5:12) What is the milk babies need? Belief in Jesus (faith) & Love.
• Little Children – Growing in a lifestyle of daily discipleship of Bible reading, prayer, generosity, and other holy habits over time. (John 13:33)
• Young Men/Women – Zealous newbies in ministry who are strong warriors, energetic, engaging in a life of spiritual adventure. They may not get it right and there are some things that, according to Pastor Crane, might burn down. But what they lack in wisdom they more than make up for in zeal, spontaneity, risk-taking and a fresh fire to share the gospel. (1 John 2:13) They ask with eager anticipation, “What does God want me to do?” and are willing to just do it.
• Fathers/Mothers – Established in the ministry progressing in their study of the Word beyond youthful impulsivity with their priorities changing from “What does God want me to do?” to “Lord, do with me what You will.” (1 John 2:13) Disciples making disciples living out Titus 2. Reminds me of Paul with Timothy, Anna & Elizabeth with Mary, Naomi with Ruth.
• Old Men/Women (the aged) – Have reached the end of their life having lived a pattern of faithful discipleship for the good of the Body of Christ, beyond knowledge, with great intentionality to tell the stories of God’s faithfulness. (Titus 2:2-5; Deuteronomy 4:9)

These are just a few of the questions I’m asking myself as we begin to move into this next and new season of ministry: As I serve our families, am I investing in their lives with scripture and a legacy in mind? If you are a young man/woman in the faith, how can I help fan your fire in the Word? If you are a father/mother, who am I investing in to point to the Word? If I am in the season of the aged, how am I telling the stories of God’s faithfulness? Can I lead an online Bible study to invest in a small group? What are the scriptures which have changed the trajectory of your spiritual life? How do I pivot from providing programming to children to walking alongside my families on a more personal level…a discipleship level to the remnant…in exile?

“Truly, my soul waiteth upon God: from Him cometh my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved.” Psalm 62:1-2

In this in-between time I’ve taken classes, read books, watched webinars, talked with people from all over the country in preparation for whatever the Lord offers us so that we point our families to Jesus. That is where we are. All of us. We are all new-church-starts. Our personal and professional worlds will continue to look different for the foreseeable future. I quickly stopped lamenting what was lost by the end of March and was thrilled at the overwhelming invite from the Holy Spirit to do His work better for this unprecedented future.

I learned that however we are connecting with our faith families, each platform for connection (not just content), is a community. If we are connecting disciples of Jesus online, we have an online community. If we are connecting disciples of Jesus through the drive-thru, we have a drive-thru community. We leveraged the drive-thru community to go the next step and began the weekly kid’s drive-in service. If we are connecting disciples of Jesus with one another through drive-in church, we now have a drive-in community. I’m not talking about separate churches, but rather different, specific communities within the same church body. There is definitely some overlap, but each is a distinct community.

If this is so, I’ve decided to look at the closed children’s ministry Facebook group as one community requiring connection and engagement AND the drive-in families as another community requiring connection and engagement. Think two faith communities, still one church.

My home church started two new churches. Home-church folks were invited to gather, train, and pray themselves together to serve as the leadership of a new family of faith and go to a new community. They committed to a period of time together to be the core to start the new church, share life, practice the holy habits of service, worship, prayer, generosity, small groups, and equip the new disciples to live as followers of Jesus in the new community, then return to the home church or stay with the new family of faith once their time was done. They were the core disciple-makers until they could equip the new disciples to become disciple-makers. Keep this model in mind and you know where I’m headed…

With these two new communities (online and drive-in) I’ve enlisted the help of several disciple-makers within the ‘home church’ to help build relationship and engagement in each community. Though there is great overlap between the two new communities, there are some very distinct ways to connect and build relationships specific to each.

Online – There are several faithful disciple-makers who are all over social media. They know the language to affirm and engage in online conversations easily. With the goal of the FB group posts to roll in feeds regularly, we need regular and faithful engagement and it can’t just be me. How can we build relationships within this community? Last Wednesday I scheduled a post to celebrate National Iced Tea Day. One of these amazing online disciple-makers posted in the comments, “Sweet or Unsweet? I prefer unsweet myself and people think I’m crazy.” Within a couple of hours there were 47 comments. We have 285 members in this closed Facebook group. That’s engagement! Not digital marketing, but digital engagement within an online community. We have three home-church disciple-makers who make sure folks are having a great time online.

Each week we offer themes for this very purpose: joke week, either/or week, share week, prayer week, and we ask questions of our ‘online family’ several times each day. Summer engagement is different than school-year and with the average person on social media 144 minutes each day, post-COVID must be intentional. We’ve learned where people can find the best vegetables (42 comments), favorite place to go hiking (39 comments), why they choose Zaxby’s over KFC (75 comments), which book of the Bible rocked their world (31 comments), and which Chick-Fil-A sauce is their favorite (90 comments). Learning some holy habits through images and godly parenting blog posts, we are equipping them to point their kids to Jesus in a way that is simple, kid-friendly, and a regular part of life, as well as getting to know one another through sharing life online where we are…online community.

Drive-In – Each Thursday we are offering three separate 20-minute services for our kids with their families. We offer song, dance, car chats, and games, but the parents/grandparents are the directors and leaders in their vehicle. This community is seeing one another, laughing together, sharing memories, and making plans together to attend. Engagement with this community continues to grow as we’re face-to-face (kinda, but not really) and find ourselves sharing an experience together. We need to communicate in ways which are intentionally kid-friendly, outlandish, and over-the-top through the five senses of sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. Our music is kid-friendly but has lyrics of songs their parents know because we want everyone to feel “I belong here”. We learn some holy habits through sensory experiences equipping parents and grandparents to point their kids to Jesus in a way that is simple, kid-friendly, and a regular part of life. Getting to know one another and sharing life where we are…in the parking lot.

Those home-church disciple-makers serving in hospitality for the drive-in are entire families, especially our parking/traffic team. At the first drive-in we heard from our parking/traffic team that several drivers asked if some of the people were there, by name, who they connected with online. They were! The parking leaders then connected the folks who had only connected online before…and their conversations continued, although yelling in the parking lot to safely social distance. It was awesome and hilarious. THAT’s community!

How are you engaging in ALL of your given communities, getting to know one another and sharing life where you are with your families? This is the world new church starts live in, as do we.

Memorial Day weekend is always a time of reflection. Reflecting on the families and generations who have given the ultimate sacrifices for my family to live as we do, as well as considering the events of the last school year in our own family.  Over the last school year we have watched families redefine distance- and home-schooling, learned a ton of new things on the fly, and even had a new grandson join our family. Without getting all crazy with emotion, here are four things I love lately:

Resilient Church Academy: Innovation Track and the Master Classes – I have chosen to reflect God’s goodness and generosity in this season. Our Creator is great at sharing and giving to us more than we can imagine for ourselves. To build my imagination muscle, I’m jumping into the deep end of the creativity pool by taking a class each Friday with the goal of setting the stage for taking risks and re-imagining  what faith formation can look like, sound like, smell like, taste like, and feel like for kids and their families. Not an event, but rather a fresh expression of developmentally appropriate faith formation for kids to grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man on my watch. With all that we have experienced, what is the Lord waiting with delight for us to discover?  Stay tuned!

Drinking >100 oz of water daily – Grateful for moving into some healthy habits in late January, I’ve learned a lot about hydration. I’m not a doctor and I don’t play one on TV, but some of what I’ve learned is that typical adults daily lose 12 cups of water: 2 cups from perspiration, 6 cups through urine, 2 cups from breathing, and 1 cup through the soles of our feet. I know, TMI! 

My back porch – I’m only slightly joking when I say Mr. Bob and I have discussed a lot the original appeal of our open-concept living space. His work life has changed from being an outside salesman with a 5-day work week to an inside salesman with a 4-day work week. I feel I have a 7-day work week. Don’t judge and don’t make suggestions. I’m an enneagram 3 and it takes a mini-series to turn my brain off, and who’s got time for that? When he’s not in his office and I’m on the phone, I’m on the back porch. I love my back porch!

My Local Church Children’s Ministry Leadership Team – Every leadership team is filled with various creative types and we are better together. As we follow a fresh movement of the Holy Spirit, we’ve taken the Creative Types assessment and have a better understanding of our gifts and skills, so we are throwing everything at a weekly kid-friendly-family-engaging service presented three times each Thursday evening in June, possibly July. Using our collective genius with faithful, and even a few new voices, we are hearing and watching the Holy Spirit blow our minds through the design thinking model of empathizing, defining, ideating, prototyping, and testing. Stay tuned!

What are you loving lately?

“Good things come to those who wait, and for experimentalists, it’s never too late to become original.” Adam Grant, Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World, pg 113

Though the world is traversing unknown territory with the coronavirus protocols, we will continue to move forward addressing the eight virtues of rapidly growing churches. I’m praying for you all and our families we serve as we count it all joy on this new adventure with grace and creativity.

Matt Miofsky, founding and lead pastor of The Gathering, a multisite United Methodist congregation in St. Louis, Missouri,  together with Jason byassee, Butler Chair in Homiletic and Biblical Interpretation at Vancouver School of Theology, wrote Eight Virtues of Rapidly Growing Churches.

Matt came to North Georgia to lead a day of education and awesome colleagues made sure I got the materials since I was unable to attend. I have discovered in my deep dive into the book and through discussions with other kidmin professionals we are all in a state of living the life of a ‘church planter.’ Knowing where the local church sits in today’s culture, the authors remind us, “We are all church planters now.” There are some commonalities of the culture and vision of today’s successful church planters. What does that look like for those who serve in ministry with children and families especially if we are not part of a new church plant? Find my thoughts about Virtues #1 through #4 here. 

Virtue #5 – Rapidly Growing Churches Elevate the Practice of Giving
“People want to give to something that is exciting, making an impact, and visibly connected to changing lives.” (p 55) Don’t we all want to make a difference with our resources? YES! So tell the stories and take the time to celebrate how God is present in our generosity. He gave (John 3:16), so we give. He is a generous giver, so we provide environments and invitational moments for generosity. Giving is an expression of generosity, but not the only one. Little people do not have jobs, but they have much. Just last week our CLUB345 decorated 250 cupcakes to give to a recovery center and ate not nary a one. Generosity is a holy habit and growing churches ‘invite people to participate from the beginning.’ If you start something new, we will begin with a opportunities for acts of generosity, not a regular practice of only receiving ‘free’ or practicing consumerism. We must fight the entitlement culture. Let kids serve. Let kids do for others. Let kids know that to be like Jesus is not to receive as an individual, but live with a heart for others in response to our generous God. ‘God hard-wired us to give, and when we operate in a manner that is consistent with our creation, good things happen in our life. We would never ask someone NOT to do something that we believe makes them happier, healthier, and better able to follow Jesus.’ (p 60-61) Teach at a young age that all we have belongs to the Lord and by returning to Him a percentage, we live a life of trust and obedience. How are you teaching the holy habit of generosity as a thread in all you do?

Virtue #6 – Rapidly Growing Churches Work in Teams
Most of this chapter speaks to the trustworthy ‘number twos’ who come alongside the number-ones. Number twos are those who sit in the second chair of an organization. It may not look like the second chair on the org chart, but it’s the second chair that REALLY makes the church go ’round because of their influence. “Whether you are a youth pastor over thirty kids, a Sunday school teacher with a class of ten, or a pastor of a church of 150-there is power in having a number two.” (p 78) The gifts of a number two include loyalty to God and the organization without being a yes person; loyalty to the congregation’s mission as a noticer with an intuition tuned to individual needs; loyalty to the visionary leadership with ‘nuts-and-bolts know how’ within that body of believers; and is accessible. “Methodism at its best is a tradition that encourages Christians to ‘watch over one another in love.’” (p 76) Who’s your next Timothy or your next Mary in your area of influence? These number twos will not just do the work, but they lead the work, and will take the ministry to the next level with great humility, joy, and love. Jesus never sent out disciples one at a time, but rather two, or three, or 70. My colleague at Asbury UMC in Lafayette, Louisiana coached us to always surround ourselves with people who would die for you and know where all the bodies are buried. You laugh, but you know what she’s talking about. Not just taskmasters, but those who get the big picture and arrive early, stay late, take out the trash because it has to be done. Humility abounds and enjoys the company of other Jesus guys and gals. Is your leadership so trustworthy that number twos can find you, can trust you with confidential info, can grow with you, and you notice each one with great love, compassion, and interest? We are family and we share life, we share laughter, and we share the load. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and we treat one another accordingly. We are better together! Who is on your team?

See you here next week with kidmin thoughts on the final two virtues. Which of the virtues mentioned so far are the easiest to implement? The most difficult?

“Methodists are people of the revival tent and the warm heart that John Wesley spoke of and inspired in others.” 8 Virtues of Rapidly Growing Churches, pg 73