Grandparents hold a special place in the hearts of the grandchildren. It goes both ways. Grandparents are part of God’s continuing plan to grow up disciples of His son Jesus. Take a look at Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78 to get a small glimpse of that plan.

We are leveraging that relationship and intentionally helping with a Grandparent’s toolbox to share their faith through a closed Facebook group entitled Faith Grandparenting and four in-person opportunities each year to share stories and resources to help them along their way we call Grandparenting With A Purpose. “You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like Him and leading others to do the same.” (Family Discipleship by Chandler & Griffin)

Last week’s Grandparenting With A Purpose: Holiday Edition, shared in-person and through a Facebook Live event on the closed Faith Grandparenting Facebook group, was a very special time to share life and some great ideas.

We serve a God of celebration! Through festivals, special food, visuals, decorations, and community we stop and remember the faithfulness of God: Passover, Festival of Tabernacles, Feast of Purim, Harvest time, Holy Communion. We celebrate with our five senses with special sights (lights, tablescapes, decorations), smells (food, spaces, candles), sounds (music, words), tastes (food), and touch (clothing, expressions of affection). Traditions offer rhythms for connection and belonging for which we are wired by our Creator.

Holidays like…
Thanksgiving – table cloth with names of who has shared the Thanksgiving table over the years; favorite foods and the magic of the “how” to make it; handwritten recipes and sharing the faith of the ones who started the family recipe.
Christmas – Ask “What three things will make Christmas Christmas?”; three gifts (Magi)
New Year’s – Do overs; time capsules; goals for physical, spiritual, family faith experiences.
Mardi Gras – Looking for the baby (Baby Jesus) in a King Cake; masks (God knows all of our mysteries).
Valentine’s Day – The greatest love story in all the world is John 3:16.
St. Patrick’s Day – story of St. Patrick; the color green reminds us to ‘grow in our faith’ continually and discussion of how we will do that this spring.
Independence Day – visit patriotic/historic places and share the stories of the faith of our founding mothers (Harriett Tubman, Abigail Adams, Susanna Wesley) and Christian heritage (John & Charles Wesley, George Washington Carver, Jimmy Carter).

Milestones like…
Birthdays teach our kids to celebrate others. On #1 Son’s 16th birthday we collected gifts of tools from Godly men who wrote him notes of wisdom for the tool they gifted. On Baby Girl’s 16th birthday we collected letters of wisdom from Godly women, teachers, and local officials we knew who knew Jesus and compiled a ‘Book of Wisdom’ she carries with her to this day.
Anniversaries teach kids to revisit big family moments. We will share that #1 Son and his lovely wife went to church for worship on their first date after greeting her at the end of the preschool Sunday school class she was teaching.
Spiritual Birthdays – annual celebrations of making their decision to follow Jesus with a gift, donuts (life without Jesus is like a hole in the middle of your heart), balloons (God is round about His people), they tell their faith story of when they decided to follow Jesus and how they’ve grown in the last year as we prepared a plan to move forward in the next year.
Gotcha Day – celebrating when an adoption came through to become part of the family.
Driver’s License – hold a ‘blessing of the license’; laying on of hands and speaking truth of this new responsibility.
New Home – praying through each room before moving in; a New Year’s home blessing.

Moments like….
Rediscovering the wonder of the everyday – my granddaughter remembers me when she smells biscuits and bacon.
Time to linger – breathe & sip; chill & chat
Gifts of time – my step mother checked me out of high school just to take me to lunch and we talk about the great issues of my teenage life.
Gifts of words – handwritten notes; postcards; journals; recipes; scribe the scriptures; gift a Bible.
New skills – teach about tea; take a cooking class, power tool class; shadow a church saint (Baby Girl shadowed an ER nurse from her home church to discover if nursing was really what God was calling her to. It WAS!)

For those in-person, they enjoyed an ice breaker with The Visual Faith Project, took home confetti cannons and their own Share the Love Drive-thru bags of goodies we’d prepared for our Children’s Ministry drive-thru that had taken place the Sunday afternoon before.

If the average age of a first-time grandparent in the USA is 47, this is a demographic who is leaning into Christian Grandparenting with tenacity. These are amazing disciple-makers and I want to be on their team.

How else can you build up your grandparents with a purpose of intentionally sharing their faith with their grandchildren?

“We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done.” Psalm 78:4

Listen to this and other posts on the In The Trenches with DeDe Reilly podcast.

One of the most spiritual experiences of my life was the minute I delivered Baby Girl in Woman’s Hospital in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I prayed that very minute that she would choose Jesus as Lord of her life at a very young age. Twenty months later, I prayed the same prayer when #1 Son was born. The Lord honored those prayers with a resounding YES! because I was on a mission to do all I could to make that happen. On April 6, 2012, we revisited that simple prayer the moment our first grandchild was born. More like a blessing over each one, all four grands were prayed for and God’s word spoken over each one anytime I get my arms around them.

Our culture leads us to believe that having fun, baking cookies, and gift-giving make us good grandparents. As followers of Jesus, there’s so much more. In Deuteronomy 4:9 God’s people are instructed to “Watch yourselves closely so that you don’t forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children AND TO THEIR CHILDREN AFTER THEM.” (emphasis mine) We have more than a one-generation mission to share our faith, we have a two-generation mission to intentionally tell of God’s great deeds.

Most of us learned how to grandparent by how we were grandparented. My paternal grandmother was a Sunday school teacher in her local church, but she was harsh, demanding, and that corset made her far from huggable. My maternal grandmother had the struggles of marrying at 14 in the hollers of the West Virginia coal mines. She was kind and generous though I don’t recall any conversation about Jesus. I learned much wisdom from her over a flour bowl she would use to make home-made biscuits in three times each day every summer from the time I was 10-16 years old. There was a family Bible on the coffee table and picture of a Guardian Angel on the wall of her home, yet that was their extent of grandparenting with the purpose of making Jesus Lord of my life.

The average age of a first-time grandparent in the US is 47 years old. If the best time to begin a Christian legacy in a child’s life is at the beginning, the best time to begin a Christian legacy in a parent’s life is at the beginning, it would behoove us to begin a Christian legacy in a grandparent’s life at the beginning of their tenure as a grandparent. Outside of parents, grandparents have the #1 influence in a child’s life because they typically have more time over time (long-term involvement), they’ve been around the block (offer greater wisdom), they’ve got great history with the Lord (stories of God’s faithfulness and forgiveness), and they care more that their grandchildren would have a faith in something greater than themselves. Grandparents enjoy a sweet spot in a child’s life. 

What can we do to better equip and support these disciple-makers through family ministry?  This demographic of discipleship is lacking in most local churches. I aim to be a catalyst to change that. 

“My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth…things we have heard and  known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done…which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God.” Psalm 78:1-7

The scriptures share that for 50 days, the Lord Jesus made His way around His world appearing to more than 500 including His brother, James. The Lord Jesus had a ton of work and coverage to do following His resurrection and so do we.

We Methodists call this Easter Season the Great Fifty Days beginning sunset Easter Eve through Pentecost Sunday. “It is the most joyous and celebrative season of the Christian year.” (UMC Discipleship) I shared a few ideas for April which can be found here.

Many of the Sunday celebrations which follow in May are filled with family celebrations like Confirmation, Graduation, etc. But that’s on Sunday. So, what else?

Before we jump straight into VBS mode, can we ask a few questions around a couple of tables, in prayer, and leverage the power of the Holy Spirit for intentional movement of ‘spring strategy for summer strength’ rather than settling for ‘spring bumps into summer slumps’? (Dan Reiland)

Grandparenting With A Purpose is the second Tuesday evening in May. Grandparents gather to learn and share tips for intentionally sharing their faith with their grandchildren during the May celebrations and the upcoming summer. Prepare a summer calendar of dates and places where grandparents and their grandchildren can be together to celebrate and make sticky faith formation memories: Family VBS, National Ice Cream Sunday, Gaga Ball pit chats, June summer dine-outs, vacation, storytelling with photo albums, etc. GOAL: Intentional plans for grandparents to share their faith stories and engage in faith conversations throughout the summer. Discipleship can come with a dinner plate and the kitchen table/garden can become the new classroom with a little planning. (Dr. Josh Mulvihill)

Summer Book Buddies This is a result of asking, “What’s in our hand?” We received two baskets of Beanie Babies over the last year and I’ve held on to them. We invited the church Book Clubs to donate used copies of biographies of Christian men and women of multiple reading levels to further build our Saints Library of paperbacks for littles and their bigs. Kids will be invited beginning on Mother’s Day to ‘adopt’ a Book Buddy for the summer for Bible and sacred book readings. We’ll schedule random outings this summer for littles to bring their Book buddies and chat about what we’re learning at the park, ice cream shop, lunch, breakfast, etc. GOAL: Summer reading while at home and on the road; Faith sharing reading for fun especially for those who do not like to read. Another opportunity to support a local business and be in the community as a family of faith.

Pentecost Sunday Everyone wears red! Use a birthday cupcake to introduce the birthday of the church with a candle that won’t go out. How will you fan the flame of the Holy Spirit in your own life this Easter Season for a strong summer?

“For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,and that he appeared to Cephas, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.” 1 Corinthians 15: 3-6

Attending a conference with friends is the best way I’ve found to learn and sharpen my skills as a professional Christian educator. I’m a verbal processor so asking questions and hearing the take-aways from those I trust will fill my creative bucket quickly. Last week at Children’s Pastors Conference sponsored by INCM (International Network of Children’s Ministry) proved even more fruitful when I shared a house with twelve other kidmin leaders from twelve local churches attending the same conference for the entire week.

CPC does a fabulous job of intentionally adding to my resource shelves and providing content to do my job better through various breakout sessions. CPC especially pours into us as disciples in the general sessions with incredibly effective communicators.

One of the most impactful for me was the general session with Bo Barredo, an attorney and native missionary to the Philippines. He and his attorney wife co-founded Advancing Native Missions. He shared, “Hope is anticipating the best of what’s good.”
“Mamas are a child’s first Children’s Pastor.”
“Those in Christ share in His story therefore we will share in His suffering.”
“Until Christ returns or we return to Him, we must work and suffer.”
“How do I stay in my hope in the middle of my journey and remain alive and vibrant until the first moment of eternity? JOY!”
“Do not have a poor joy.”
Brother Bo offered four places where I can find joy in the waiting and even the suffering. He is spot on.

Regarding content, I thoroughly enjoyed and got my sword sharpened by the following:

Gender-Specific Ministry Matters led by Cindy Bultema (GEMS for girls) and Adam Sculnick (CIA for boys). Backed by research, we explored…
86% of teen girls say they would feel more confident if they had a mentor
The average church offers 3-6 ministries for women and girls, but only 1-2 ministries for men and boys.
Church has become A place to go rather than THE place to go to learn to follow Jesus.

Family Ministry: A Holistic Approach led by Kathleen Jaoudi sharing, “Don’t re-invent the wheel; just add the layer.” I’ll save greater details about this breakout in a separate blogpost.

Equipping Parents to Navigate Technology and Their Kids led by Ela Hammond. She shared all her resources of books, links, a musical game, QR codes, takeaways, through a parent workshop model. Ela offered breakout information for (1) Screen Time for Littles, (2) Should I give my kid a phone?, (3) Pornography Prevention, (4) Social Media Strategies, and (5) Video gaming/YouTube.
“Today’s families have food boundaries, why not technology boundaries?”
“Our kids will be discipled by something.”
“In West Virginia, the majority of kids’ caregivers are not parents, but grandparents.”

Reaching the Families in Your Community led by Jennifer Edwards gave multiple, easy ideas for being a good neighbor in Jerusalem (inside the church) and in Judea (outside the church) in the community where we live. She’s presenting at the She Leads Church Online Conference and I can’t wait! In the mean time, I’ll be implementing several of her ideas within the next six weeks.

Holidays and Holy Days: Hands-On Celebration Ideas led by Emily Snider walked us through the seven festivals God called His people to celebrate in the scriptures. The four spring festivals celebrate Jesus’ first coming. The three fall festivals remind us of what will be fulfilled upon Jesus’ second coming. For this gal who has no trouble celebrating Jesus, this breakout just added more confetti to this amazing walk with Jesus. Watch out February!

Engaging the Grandparents in Your Ministry was led by Jill Vogel, a representative of the amazing folks at Legacy Coalition. The resources abound there and are fantastic. Their blog is great, their resources are great, their books are great, and their people are great. I found Legacy Coalition at my last in-person CPC2020. It gave me everything I needed to start a new ministry with grandparents during the shut-down which grew by leaps and bounds. I came back this time with lots of resources to gift to those involved in our Grandparenting With A Purpose team, to add to our Faith Grandparenting Facebook group, and share with churches where I lead workshops on this very thing.

The greatest content? The chats around tables, pizzas, Walmart & Publix & Bucc-ee’s runs, hallways, benches, beignets, walking trails, and Animal Kingdom ride lines (2.5 hours for the Avatar ride!) with my housemates who share the trenches in ministry from Georgia to Ohio. The discounted rate for CPC24 is good until January 20th and worth every penny. We’ve rented an even bigger AirBnB and we have four extra spots because sharing together is the best way to go.

My Spirit is full, my mission is clear, my joy can’t be contained, and I’m coming in hot to share the unending hope I have with whomever will listen or not. 2023, I’m coming for ya with my hands raised high!

“Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.” Psalm 21:6

Twice each year we set the table for a shared teaching for grandparents who desire to share their faith with their grandchildren with intentionality. Why?

• The average age of a first-time grandparent in the US is 47 years old.
• Biblical command from Deuteronomy 4:9 ‘teach my commands to your children and your children’s children….’

With summer just around the corner time with our grands will look different, so we offered these suggestions and used them for conversational prompts to fill the 90-minute workshop time together. With snacks, of course!

This summer, let’s begin by ‘marking your home.’ Every faith tradition expects there to be visual elements and more to help the devout practice their faith in their home. Think of the prayer corner of a practicing Hindu, a prayer rug of a practicing Muslim, or a statuary of the Mother Mary of a practicing Catholic. What sensory elements, using all five senses, do we provide to mark our homes as a Christian home? Ideas: visual elements like our Bible, scripture (not in cursive) on artwork, appealing artwork of Jesus; smell elements like ‘we light this vanilla candle when we pray’ or baking bread; windchimes to hear as ‘the wind’ passes (can’t see the wind, but we know it’s presence…like the Holy Spirit); drink water because our great God created our bodies to work well when hydrated, etc.

Let’s hike together – Explore a waterfall, walk a prayer labyrinth, discover a local cemetery, or stroll through your neighborhood pointing out the creativity of our great God. And give that kid a stick!

Let’s cook together – Pick those strawberries and blueberries or pick up some at a local fresh food market to enjoy the sense of taste and smell offered by our great God.

Let’s grow stuff together – It’s a miracle that we can plant seeds and stuff pops up out of the ground when the Lord provides water and sunlight. Photosynthesis is a miracle and leaf colors are made real because of the wisdom of our great God. Go ahead and get that seeded watermelon and linger to talk of gardens, foods, planting, and the partnership of water, sun, and good soil as you poke those seeds. And seed-spitting competition!

Let’s read together – Read books together, especially biographies of people who endured hardships as they depended on the Lord in prayer and provision like Elisabeth Elliot, Samuel Morse, Prudence Crandall, John Wesley, Corrie Ten Boom, etc.

Let’s play games together – Otrio is our family favorite because if a kid can play tic-tac-toe, they can play, and probably beat you, in a short amount of time. It plays quickly. I learned to play Rummy, War, and Crazy Eights with a deck of cards my grandmother gave me and we played all the time. When I spent my tween-year summers with my Grandmother, she taught me how to play solitaire and properly shuffle a deck of cards. Learning to follow the rules of a game (builds trust) reminds us that God has rules for us to live by together and He is trustworthy. Learning to properly shuffle a deck of cards, I learned I can do hard things if I take the time to practice. And boy, does summer give us time to practice!

Let’s learn together – Want to know what are the stickiest and most impactful pieces of faith formation to repeat and know? The Apostle’s Creed (What do Christians believe?), The Lord’s Prayer (How do Christians pray?), and the 10 Commandments (How do Christians live out our faith in Jesus with one another in community and relationship?) In our home, we have artwork with all three pieces on the wall, on the stair landing, and on a displayed dish.

Let’s share together – Share with your grand what you are learning about Jesus in your Sunday school class, small group, prayer group. Share with your grand, and introduce them to the folks who walk your faith journey with you regularly.

Let’s worship together – Invite them to worship with you in your sanctuary and at our June Thursday family VBS parking lot service this summer!

What’s on your summer bucket list as you prepare to intentionally share your faith with your grandchildren?

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Deuteronomy 4:9

Previous posts of sharing your faith with your grands can be found here.

It’s Fall Break in the school systems of North Georgia. While others are headed out of town or enjoying a staycation, it’s the week I set aside to get organized for the fall and advent season. Everything was calendared months ago, published on July 1st. Now it’s time to put some details on the Advent google docs to be shared with the lead teams for each event and campaign when they return.

Parenting With A Purpose – with a focus on Apologetics (giving God our minds to defend our faith in Jesus) we will share a Blueprint for Discipleship at Home for the fall and a teaching of what God teaches us about work in a world that only wants to play for the spring.

Grandparenting With A Purpose – with a focus on engaging in sacred conversations we’ll have a table chat in both the fall and spring with other grandparents who have navigated the hardest conversations with their grands.

New Faith Milestones
I Can Tell the Story (one for Advent, one for Lent) which will be Messy Church events using images to tell the birth story of Jesus and the resurrection story of Jesus. For Advent: soup & bread, activity themes from Matt Rawle’s new advent study, The Heart That Grew Three Sizes: Finding Faith in the Story of the Grinch. It’s a post-pandemic look at the Grinch taking the redemption story to a whole new level. The adult videos, only around 10 minutes in length are so rich I was able to write the Children’s Moments, the event stations, and a lot of the Christmas Eve service from Rev. Rawle’s materials speaking of phrases kids get like hate, words and people redeemed by Jesus, truth vs lying, and the power of music and memory.

I Can Worship With My Family – interactive, intergenerational worship service for kids with adults in the room. We bring our teaching services from the summer parking lot to Big Mac (the sanctuary). It’s a teaching service at 11am in Big Mac for worship, prayer, giving, singing, Apostle’s Creed, doxology and more when the whole family learns together why we do what we do and what makes Big Mac, Big Mac. Opening a registration link for kids and families who want to take a lead lets us communicate expectations to families and not just kids. Clarity and communication builds trust. All of the other Faith Milestones we teach separately will be now be lived out in community with our church family, not only the Children’s spaces.

Part of that organization is also getting some shopping done so the resources are on hand and we’re not scrambling hoping to find what we need.  The complete details are not on the google doc yet, but today I placed orders for….
Advent Blocks (purchased in summer at deep discount/added another church to order for even more discounts)
Red squishy hearts imprinted with “Jesus loves me”
Red, green, white, lime chenille sticks
What the Bible Is All About Handbook for Kids
Discipling Your Grandchildren: Great Ideas to Help Them Know, Love and Serve God
Prayer buddies in pompoms
God Is Three Persons
Family Advent Pop-up Calendar

Let’s not forget to be clear of the goals and the why of each experience. Every experience must be a developmentally appropriate faith formation experience. Ministry leaders are not event planners, but disciple-makers who take every opportunity and effectively use what’s in our hands to give testimony to God’s goodness and His faithfulness to His people. Determine when, where, how, who, and the discipleship follow-up for sharing the good news of Jesus and His plan of redemption and restoration in truth as the priority not the add-on or side-note. Write it down so not to be distracted by a negative comment or an expectation expressed after-the-fact. Measurable goals offer clarity, purpose, and let you set priorities to filter the could-haves and should-haves. The experience is part of your over-all strategy for faith formation, not a one-and-done.

Partnering with families means they can trust that we will be prepared to be a blessing as their calendar begins to turn into fall. Partnering well with our leadership team means they will not be overwhelmed and will have on hand the tools to be successful.

How do you get organized for the next season?

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15

As a Louisiana gal with weekday preschool roots, I’ve never met a national holiday I didn’t like and wouldn’t leverage to put Jesus at the center.  National Grandparents Day is Sunday, September 12 and we’ll be celebrating and teaching the Biblical mandate found in Deuteronomy 6:20 to ‘teach your children and their children after them’ the decrees and commands God has given His people. National Grandparents Day always falls on the Sunday following Labor Day.

Before the pandemic quarantine we began a Grandparenting With A Purpose initiative in children’s ministry. With the average age of the first time grandparent in America being 47, this is a demographic and a remarkable moment of life children’s ministry can step into naturally. But, it was during the quarantine we got great traction with online through a Faith Grandparenting Facebook group offering specifically curated resources for grandparents to share their faith in Jesus with their grandchildren. We also offer in-person and Facebook Live workshops, one each spring and one each fall.

The pandemic has both separated grandparents from their grandchildren and has brought others geographically closer together. Many families have reset their priorities by relocating closer to grandparents or grandparents have moved closer to their grandchildren. Though the holiday is a secular holiday, it’s a natural invite for intergenerational worship and recognition. The Legacy Coalition, which provides weekly webinars to confidently equip Christian grandparents to intentionally share their faith notes, “National Grandparents Day is an important official marker of intergenerational relationships.”

To learn more about the history of National Grandparents Day, click here.

To ponder ideas to celebrate National Grandparents Day, check out…
The Legacy Coalition: Christian Grandparenting Ministry 
GrandparentsDay.org
The Legacy Project
Proper spelling and more

We are preparing a photo station and inviting the children to bring a grandparent or grandfriend to Sunday school on Sunday, September 12. We’ll open the Welcome Center early for the children to play games with their grandparents/grandfriends. They’ll attend a 10-minute small group time together, then all will gather in the large group to sing and dance and learn a bit. I will have a dedicated photographer to get all the shots. When the children return to their small group, the grandparents/grandfriends will come with me for a short, interactive lesson on Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78. We’ll then share how we can partner with them to confidently and intentionally share their faith in Jesus with their grands. This is what family does and we are family.

The Children’s Moment will be a ‘hands up’ blessing with copies of scriptures to pray for grandchildren (English and Spanish) found here along with other free resources found at GrandparentingWithAPurpose.com. 

Before you think, “What about the child who doesn’t bring a grandfriend?”, I’m thinking there is a small group or two of senior saints in your local church who would be thrilled to step in. After all, we are family!

“We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.” Psalm 78:4

My current pastor gently corrected a colleague recently when she referred to our servant-leaders as ‘volunteers.’ PTA recruits volunteers. We recruit servant-leaders.  Most of my conversations with colleagues at other churches revolve around building their servant-leader team. Anyone else feel like a new church start? Yep, we all do!

I had a great conversation with a new-to-director Children’s Ministry champion last week and we chatted through several ideas:

Open House – Invite all kids and their parents/grandparents to a 30 minute open house after a Sunday service. Build it up, think sandwich boards worn by kids to promote. Post jumbo post-its on the walls in the kid’s area with “Sunday Morning”, “Hospitality”, “CLUB345”, “Missions”, and “Special Events” with cups of crayons below each one. Pull a Vanna White sharing a 1 minute elevator pitch in front of each one inviting those in attendance, “If you’d like more information about >>>, write your name and email/phone number on this post-it note (their choice for how to be contacted), and our team will get back to you.” Every 10 minutes, play a game of rock, paper, scissors for prizes OR pull carnival tickets for $5 RaceTrac/QT gift cards for tasty beverages. Prizes for kids AND adults in attendance. End in a fun interactive prayer and make those phone calls by week’s end.  Lots of energy, music (bluetooth speaker, even), and have your kid’s space shine!

Chill & Chat  or Taco ‘Bout – Promote this 1.5-2 hour event as a time to ‘get more information’ about the church’s ministry with kids/families.  Put up the jumbo post-it notes with similar headings as above and offer  a similar 1 minute elevator pitch followed by inviting someone in the room to share a story about their experience in that area. Lots of other voices will be telling great stories. Offer a take-away book with some meat to it that speaks to how the ministry will support them as parents, grandparents, etc.. Your current servant-leaders are your best recruiters so give time for some general chatting. Follow up with thank you notes to everyone who attends and especially those who shared a story. Offer a tour of the spaces, too. I have Ambassadors take care of this part. This is also where parents/grandparents get the first-look at what’s coming in the ministry for the upcoming season or school year.

Mission Field – Bring a suitcase and visit an adult Sunday school class. Say, “This is what I know about you. As a Christian you always wanted to be a missionary.  But you had to work, had little people, or maybe were taking care of big people. Perhaps now is the time. What if I were to offer you a 1-year gig (big hairy ask!) and you wouldn’t have to take shots and you could sleep in your own bed? Would you consider it? Being a missionary, I mean?” Give pause. Say, “I’m asking you and a friend to serve as a missionary, one month on and one month off, to serve in the mission field of children’s ministry on Sunday morning for 1 year.”  “I ask for you and a friend because Jesus never sent our his disciples one at a time, but in pairs or threes or up to 70 to do what He asked, and He asks in the scriptures for us to lead the littles to Him.” Oh, and come bearing goodies by bringing a box of biscuits or donuts along with the suitcase.

Church Committee Meetings – Find out when the Trustees, Staff-Parish Relations, and Finance Committees are meeting next. Leave a box of yummy goodies, a bowl of ice, cold water bottles, you get the idea. Add a note or picture signed by kids in your ministry inviting one (and a friend…see above) to serve together at an upcoming event, or say THANK YOU for making the ministry possible by the decisions they make. It will delight them to know you appreciate their hard work of ministry, too.

Lord, Who? Prayers – Write Lord, who? on your car windshield with a sharpie and as you drive pray for a name to reach out one-on-one. One-on-one invites are the best and really should be done all the time.  Whoever the Lord gives you, make contact. Don’t’ talk yourself out of it. You never know how the Lord is working in that person’s life and they are just waiting for the invite to do something about it.

Youth Milestone – If you have access to your church’s youth group, make serving in Children’s Ministry a faith milestone of one month on and one month off for a year. Make them jump through the hoops necessary for training and equipping so they are aware of the expectations to be a great servant-leader. This is first-job training kind of stuff. Talk to them about what they’re doing well. You can talk to them about how they can do something better. Speak into their lives the opportunity to serve others well and with excellence and be sure to tell them WHY something is important. Remind them they’ll need reference letters for jobs and college program applications in the future and you can help them with that.

Faith Milestones and Grandparents – Faith Milestones are those once a year special events which mark a remarkable season of life with a spiritual training like Bread & Juice, I Can Pray, Acolyte, I Love My Church and the like. We require our students to have an adult with them at most Faith Milestones. If that adult is a grandparent, that grandparent is all-in to support and join in sharing sacred experiences. I will always reach out the next week to invite him/her to serve at something their grand might participate in.

“We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 12:5

Mr. & Mrs. Joy are saints of their local church. They are starting their 4th year as the lay persons leading Adult Christian Education in their local church. The email they sent said they were interested in speaking with someone to help them with intergenerational ministry. The email was sent to me and I was thrilled to have my first consultation of the New Year.

The first goal was to define what they understood as ‘intergenerational ministry.’ Through a couple of stories, they were looking for ways to attract millennials and Gen Zs to their church so they’d come to church on Sunday. What we finished with was something way greater than we ever imagined.

This we know: Folks in their 30s could possibly work every day of the week including Sundays. They may work on shifts where they work every other Sunday. Think Law enforcement and retail. They may also work before sunrise and until late in the night. Think the medical field and automotive market. They are desperate for community, but they may not have the margin nor the energy to go looking for new community, so they settle for community in environments where they need only bring a snack and a lawn chair OR the community they’ve curated at their fingertips on social media.

This we know: The average age of a first time grandparent is 47.  What if we offered a place, a space, content, hope, tools to help them navigate in a Christian manner all the relationships involved to share their faith with their grandchildren? Especially if some are looking back with regret that they themselves didn’t put enough of a priority on intentional faith development of their now adult kids. Add in the challenges of in-laws, school, their own aging parents, and still working.

Let’s start a space like a closed Facebook group with curated scripture (Psalm 78 & Deuteronomy 6), some encouraging grandkid memes, Christian Grandparenting blogposts, a place where questions can be asked and where we can walk alongside one another several times each week at the grandparent’s leisure based on their schedule? Then offer a couple of times each year a way to gather in-person for encouragement, a little dessert, some show & tell and some resources? The local church can be that PLACE they go AS they go.

Those of us further down the age line know what’s coming. It won’t be long before the remarkable moments of life begin to occur like more weddings, more babies, separation, divorce, a diagnosis, a chronic illness, a betrayal, and the loss of those who have been their towers of strength in death. What will they do then? We know those moments are not just moments. Those moments are tipping points, turning points, and places where people move from placing Christian relationships from the margin to the main body. It’s a gift to offer sprinkles and multiple, regular, various touchpoints where they ARE RIGHT NOW because we all know it’s coming.

1 Peter 3:15, “Be ready to share the hope that we have.”

Let’s begin the pouring out and the pouring in to new relationships now where they are, rather than expecting these young adults to come to us? Let’s make it easier to start and build relationships OVER TIME by sending texts each week with scripture, postcards with where to find us on social media so as they find us in their social media feeds and in their notifications? Let’s move social media from a bulletin board of announcements to a little regular help along their way today.

Can we greet them when they do arrive on campus, because they will, at a remarkable moment, with a, “Man, I was thinking of you this week?” rather than hassling them with a, “Man, where you been?”

What can we do to take up regular space in their margin?

Let’s offer a Bible reading Facebook group rather than only weekly, in-person Bible study? Think of the differences between a football game in-person and that same football game from home. Both experiences are investments of time and brain margin and worthy of doing well and with excellence, yet the audiences are very different. Let’s reach their children (and grandchildren) in developmentally appropriate ways in-person, mail, drive-in, drive-thru where their parents or grandparents are the heroes, the guides. They don’t have time to curate the best developmentally appropriate content on their own, so let’s make that happen in simple, short, subscription-box ways where everything is provided.

Mr. & Mrs. Joy are fired up for the new possibilities. Their plan? To recruit several of their fellow disciples, saints of their local church, to do the pouring in to some of the relationships they already know of. Rather than a program of ‘y’all come’, they will gather an army for ‘hey, I’m here to walk alongside you wherever you are.’ Its training up those already there to be ambassadors for Jesus and not just ambassadors for their local church, with what’s in their hands, to the glory of God, with the good news of Jesus, sharing their own personal stories of God’s faithfulness.

This is great work of the local church.

An ambassador, according to the apostle Paul, is a representative, an agent, not just a spokesperson, but an example, a delegate, a deputy, and envoy, a mediator as found in 2 Corinthians 5:20 “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”

Let’s be willing to be sent out as an envoy for Jesus, an ambassador….with the message of Jesus! The Jesus who is the son of God, the Jesus who was there at creation, the Jesus who came from heaven to earth to forgive us of our sins, because of God’s great love for you and me and the world. Through the gift of the Holy Spirit, He is with us where we go.

“With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all.” Acts 4:33

Listen: In The Trenches podcast

It is the call on every Christian to be Jesus-disciple-makers. Parents and grandparents are on the frontline of Jesus-disciple-making, yet where do they start? How do they fit in one more thing among laundry, grocery-shopping, school, extracurricular, and dentist appointments? This is where we come in, the local church family ministry champions, to lock elbows, share prayer space, and resource families to bring Jesus into what they are already doing.

There wasn’t near as much out there to help Christian families navigate discipling their families in the 1990s. As a young mom I recall four books which, partnered with the Bible and my local church, helped me most along my way:
Tim Keller’s Little House on the Freeway: Help for the Hurried Home
Lisa Whelchel’s Creative Correction
Kevin Leman’s Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
Mom, You’re Incredible (white book with teal MOM on the cover and have no idea who wrote it, but it was a game-changer!) Do you sense a theme?

Today there are so many options and not near enough time for parents to curate the best, the most practical to help them as they are in the trenches of everyday. Let’s face it, there is just too much information at the end of our fingertips to go deep into anything so they are overwhelmed and just too tired. Again, this is where we come in.

I just finished the best 163 pages I’ve read this year for equipping those devoted to discipling their own families. Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin of The Village Church offer in Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones a practical framework of bringing Jesus into what most families are already doing in all seasons of a child’s life.

Published in August 2020, this resource provides today’s family leaders with the sigh of relief that not all family discipleship practices are enjoyed; some are endured. But, ‘our role is to plant seeds of truth, water them, and pray that God will give them life and growth as we trust in his goodness and mercy over all our shortcomings.’ (pg 21)

“You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like him and leading others to do the same.” (pg 30)

In the community of family, we learn best to prepare meals, serve one another, establish rules for living, protect ourselves from dangers, celebrate, and practice academic and social skills. We also learn to become more like Jesus in this community together through time (thinking about, talking about, and living out the good news of Jesus in holy habits), moments (leveraging those daily moments of life which are developmentally appropriate), and milestones (marking and making the remarkable moments of life wrapped in God’s presence and faithfulness to His people.) Each chapter offers the author’s experiences and time plans for those of us who like lists and boxes to fill in.

Time: Rather than thinking everything should be a Broadway production, lower your expectations and think about the positive, cumulative effect of holy habits over time such as Bible reading, devotional time, scripture memory, meals, prayer, worship, and service and how modeling that behavior in the adult’s life is the best teacher.
“A child disciple of Jesus Christ is a child who loves God, loves people, and imparts what God has revealed to them to others. You love what you know.” (pg 43)

Moments: Being attentive and alert to opportunities to talk about the attributes of God, foundational truths about who God is and who they are, and how God’s word is a treasure to explore and discover. As a teacher and family discipleship coach, my favorite pages were pages 122-130…so rich in practicality and narrowing down the spiritual building blocks for living as an exile in today’s culture.

Milestones: Acknowledging God’s work and faithful presence in the remarkable moments of life like births, death, losses, disappointments, driver’s licenses, graduations, starts and ends of school years, heirlooms, new homes, etc. It is in the milestones where there is a ‘tremendous opportunity to extend the discipleship process to your child’s extended family, friends, neighbors, and biblical community’ (pg 136). There are pages of examples at the end of this chapter to simply make events that are already happening spiritually memorable.

As leaders for ministry with families in the local church, we are neither event planners nor community center coordinators. We are family discipleship coaches! D6 Family Ministry shared in a December meme for the local church champions in ministry with children and families: “Good equippers do it like Jesus did it; recruit twelve, graduate eleven, and focus on three.” So glad I have a new calendar with all that white space.

“I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.” 2 John 4

Listen to this blog on the In The Trenches Podcast with DeDe Reilly here.