Choosing paint colors was supposed to be the biggest challenge of the project. Not even close. The biggest challenge of updating the children’s space at the local church I was serving was removing a small, 9X12 banner attached to a stairwell leading to the space. This small banner was brown (used to be white), hung from a stick (from the woods), with about 10 small painted hands. Think preschool art…hung 20 years ago…in a huge stairwell…taking up the center 5% of the space. This banner had no names and no one could tell me who the painted hands belonged to, but the pushback of removing that banner was fierce and loud. I had no idea that trying to do something new or doing a new thing would be a tipping point in my life about sacred cows and growing into a spiritual entrepreneur.

If ever there was a time when we can do things new and do new things in the local church, at work, and at home to further the cause of Jesus, it’s now. Yes, we will always have challenges, but “that’s the way we’ve always done it” is no longer one of them. If ever you had permission to do stuff differently or not at all, now’s the time.

When the Pandemic began last March, I learned about the Spanish Flu Pandemic in the early 1900s. It took America about 2 ½ years to cross over into a more relaxed pace of change. 2 ½ years. That’s a good time frame to look beyond the typical and expected, and just try stuff. It’s in the experimentation and editing to excellence where you’ll grow your innovation muscles.

Carey Neuhoff calls us ‘spiritual entrepreneurs’. Neuhoff reports that spiritual entrepreneurs have a radical determination. They’re wired for innovation and show an apostle-Paul-like fierceness fully understanding they will get push-back and more criticism than praise, even to the point of sabotage by really good people. Yes, we submit to the authority over us (Romans’ biblical mandate), but we know without a doubt that God is at work in the world and we want to be part of it.

A spiritual entrepreneur is a leader who pushes forward in a state of experimentation. They are driven to gather, equip, and mobilize God’s people to obediently make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world in innovative ways. A spiritual entrepreneur is a disciple of Jesus who sees opportunities instead of obstacles.

But what about the obstacles? Let’s go to the Bible.

From the first chapter of Genesis, we learn that creation is good and God is good. Being fruitful and multiplying is the charge of God upon Adam and Eve, and even Noah and his family. God made millions of things, for which only one was necessary, but the creativity of God is ‘to infinity and beyond’. As image-bearers of this good and creative God, we not only have permission, but a cultural mandate to develop things in excessive goodness.

What things? As followers of Jesus, filled with the Holy Spirit, we are entrusted with the gospel of Jesus AND the giftings to make the good news of Jesus real in the areas of the world we live so that others will know Him, too.

Do you like starting stuff? I do! If ever there was a time to start new stuff or make some good stuff new, NOW is the time. All of those institutional and cultural systems like church only on Sunday or all large groups have to be done in the fellowship hall are no longer.

Doug Paul is a bi-vocational pastor and innovation strategist. He wrote the book, Ready or Not: Kingdom Innovation for a Brave New World published in, you guessed it, September 2020. He repeatedly offers that “Innovation is a skill you can learn, but it’s a spiritual process.” It’s a spiritual process, because it must bring glory to Jesus.

How to get started? Prayerfully ask good questions? Lots of questions of the people you are serving or want to serve. Make no assumptions, and ask even more questions. The best answers will come not from a paper survey, but questions asked in relationship.

As you are asking good questions, let this question be one you ask yourself of your world, “What’s in your hand?” God asked Moses this question at Mt. Sinai. Moses had plenty of excuses for not obeying the voice of God coming from the burning bush. But God wouldn’t let Moses go. The turning point? A good question: “What’s in our hand?”

Whether you are a Christian, grandparent, a parent, or on staff at your local church you have permission to creatively share the life and love of Jesus with those around you with what’s in your hand.

I challenge you to prayerfully consider using this time frame of 2 ½ years from last March to ask, “What’s in my hand?” and experiment in small increments of time like 60 days or 90 days. Prayerfully consider, because we are reminded in big John, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.”

“I’m neither clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.” – Albert Einstein

Listen: In The Trenches podcast 

Faith sticks when little people can experience the family stories of the Bible through their five senses. The greatest story ever told is the Good News of Jesus. With Easter coming, we are preparing for a sticky faith formation experience for Palm Sunday’s Sunday school hour. The goal is to introduce vocabulary and give a time line of what happened. I share with our littles that this is the greatest story ever told because it’s about our best friend, Jesus. There are some really happy parts and some really sad parts, but the ending is AMAZING!

Family Friendly Holy Week Stations

1. Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.
After Jesus had His LAST SUPPER with His buddies, and sang a song, He went out to pray.
Luke 22:39-43 “Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.”
Item: Praying Hands, Communion Cup and plate
Did you know? Nowhere else in scripture did God kneel on this earth, but here. How often do you kneel before God?

2. Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane.
While Jesus was asking his buddies to “Watch and pray,” Judas, one of the 12, arrived. At once Judas came up to Jesus and kissed Jesus. Then a crowd came and arrested Jesus.
Matthew 26:47-50 “While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the Meaners of the people. ‘The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.’ Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.”
Item: Handcuffs, leather cord, chains (the bigger and the heavier, the better)
Did you know? Jesus came back to his buddies to ask them to “Watch and Pray” 3 times. Do you have buddies you can ask to “Watch and Pray?” Pray that God will send them to you.

3. Jesus was taken to the religious leaders.
The Meaners took Jesus to the chief priests, elders and teachers of the law looking for evidence against Jesus so they could put him to death.
Mark 14:61-64 “The meaners took Jesus to the high priest and the whole Sanhedrin who were looking for evidence against Jesus. They all agreed to send Jesus to die. Then some began to spit at him; they blindfolded him, struck him with their fists, and yelled at him. And the guards took him and beat him.”
Item: a Pastor’s stole
Did you know? The religious leaders were afraid of how the people loved Jesus. Are you afraid of people who love Jesus?

4. Jesus taken to the government leaders.
Since the religious leaders were not allowed by law to put someone to death, they sent Jesus to the government leader to put Jesus to death.
John 18:28-37 “In the early morning, the meaners took Jesus to the palace of the Roman governor named Pilate. Pilate asked Jesus “What have you done?” Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not from this world. My kingdom is not from here.” “You are a king, then!” said Pilate.”
Item: Judge’s gavel
Did you know? Pilate wanted to let Jesus go and thought that having Jesus “spanked” would be enough punishment for the crowd. Do you let other people make you do things you know are wrong?

5. Pilate hands Jesus over to be beaten.
John 19:1-3 “Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail king of the Jews!” And they struck him in the face.”
Item: Crown of thorns and leather whip.
Did you know? The first mention of “thorns” in the bible comes in Genesis as part of the punishment of Adam and Eve as they leave the Garden of Eden and were then required to grow their own food among the “thorns and the thistles.”

6. Pilate hands Jesus over to be crucified.
John 19:16- “So the meaners took charge of Jesus. Carrying his own cross, Jesus went out to the place of the Skull (which is called Golgotha).”
Item: Railroad tie, cross beams, cross the kids can pick up and hoist onto their shoulders
Did you know? that the sickness of sin and selfishness is heavy? Do you really want to carry around something that separates you from God?

7. Simon helps Jesus carry the heavy cross.
Luke 23:26 “As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced Simon to help Jesus carry the cross.”
Item: Table mirror or cross kids can pick up and hoist onto their shoulders here, instead.
Did you know? That someone helped Jesus carry His cross when it got too heavy? Would you help Jesus carry His cross?

8. Many of the ladies who loved Jesus followed him crying.
Luke23:27 “A large number of people follow him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children.”
Item: Box of Kleenex
Did you know? The term “Daughter” is a term of endearment for a family member. Jesus was claiming these ladies as part of his family. Even though He was going through a bad time, Jesus still thought of others. Do you claim Jesus as part of your family?

9. The Meaners take Jesus’ clothes.
John 19:23-When the meaners crucified Jesus; they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, “They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.” (Psalm 22:18)
Item: Dice, purple/scarlet robe
Did you know? It is a great insult to human dignity to rob a person of everything, even his clothing. Most of us will never know the shame and suffering of being penniless and virtually naked in a public place, as many of the homeless on the streets of our cities today. Have you offered anything to help clothe the people in our community?

10. Jesus on the cross.
Luke 23:33-34 “When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Item: Nails, rubber mallet
Did you know? Jesus could have zapped those who mocked/made fun of him – but he suffered through it all because he loved even his enemies. Does this even matter? Does Jesus matter to you? How?

11. Criminals speak to Jesus
Luke 23:39-43 “One of the criminals who hung there hurled/yelled insults at Jesus: he said, “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t’ you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today, you will be with me in paradise.”
Item: First Aid kit, Stephen Ministry kit
Did you know? From the very words of Jesus, it’ll take no longer than a day to get to heaven. Do you only pray to ask for Jesus to rescue you, bless you, protect you? Is it all about you?

12. Jesus asked for something to drink.
John 19:28-30 “Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty,” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When Jesus had received the drink, Jesus said,”It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”
Item: Vinegar in various cups, sponges to smell and touch
Did you know? This vinegar was a cheap wine that the Roman soldiers drank while waiting for those crucified to die. Do you offer Jesus your whole life, the best of you (everyday prayer, bible reading, regular giving, and regular church attendance), or a cheap life (prayer only when you are in trouble, don’t use your bible at all, giving what’s left over, and choosing anything else over church attendance)?

13. Jesus dies on the cross
Luke 23:44-46 “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.”
Item: Altar cross covered in black sheeting
Did you know? Complete darkness covered the earth from noon until 3pm after Jesus died on the cross. All nature seemed to mourn over the stark tragedy of the death of God’s Son. Sunday matters because of what happened on Friday.

14. Jesus is laid in the tomb.
John 19:38-42 “Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple/follower of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. He and Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night, took Jesus’ body, wrapped it in strips of linen, with spices. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. A stone was placed over the entrance.”
Item: Heart-shaped stone, Resurrection Garden pot, a plant.
Did you know? John 3:16 God loved . . . God gave . . . We believe and trust/ put our weight on it . . . We receive eternal life, new life, Christ life. What will you do now with what you know?

15. Jesus is Alive!
Item: Basketful of empty eggs, live plant, live lily
Did you know? That God loves you so much, He sent his one and only Son, Jesus, to take the punishment for our sins (when we don’t love God and don’t love others) so that we can go to the big party in heaven one day when our time on earth is done. Jesus is preparing a place for all who love Him in Heaven. This is another amazing part: In the mean time, God wants us to talk like Jesus, and act like Jesus, by showing love to God and others. One way to do that is telling others the Good News that Jesus came to show us God’s love for us and others. Who will you tell this week? Another way to do that is to help someone in need. Who will you help today?

You can place the information in plastic stand-up frames which can be placed at each station, or use a small, cheap photo book with the information if the stations are not in one location.

Let me know of other ideas to keep the story fresh and new in the hearts of our families and in my own heart. A good challenge each year is to discover something new about the Easter story to share with your little people. This IS the Good News…may we be found faithful in sharing it well and in a way that lets little people and their families engage in conversation about our great Jesus.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18 NIV

(This blog was originally posted in February 2013)

One of the most precious moments of my week is shared at the end of each week’s Sunday School. After we play together, study together, respond together, laugh together, and pray together, we gather up to 1) get a fruit snack, 2) receive bible bucks, and 3) get a hand blessing.

My friend Lauren Miller, a United Methodist Deacon, shared the idea of hand blessing with me a few years ago and I knew it’d be the perfect way to offer personal and individual blessings to my students. It would involve four of the five senses (smell, touch, hearing, sight), give me time to look into each one’s eyes, and take only a few seconds to speak truth and life over each child.  Every. Single. Week. It’s one thing to touch, see, and hear church, but how often do I get to impart the ‘smell’ of church?

Lauren introduced the hand blessing to me using a scented chap stick with the wrapping removed. With the essential oil craze, finding ‘anointing oils’ is super easy. I came across a package of oil roll-ons at the Thistle Stop Cafe’ in Nashville at last year’s CEF (Christian Educator’s Fellowship) 2014 Conference.  I typically invite the oldest student in the room to choose the roll-on oil for each particular Sunday.

Taking a child’s hand in mine, I draw the shape of a cross with the roll-on oil on the back of the student’s hand as I look into each one’s eyes and say a blessing: “Anna, may the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace,” “Griffin, trust in the Lord always and He will direct your paths,” “Isabella, Jesus loves you this I know for the Bible tells us so,” etc. Something relative to the lesson, a hymn, or a scripture. It’s makes me smile to see them smell the back of their hands during the following worship service.

“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” Psalm 141:2

There has been a great deal of movement in the local church’s children’s ministry world. Relocations due to reset priorities, drastic budget changes, and the need for pioneers has opened and closed doors like nothing I’ve ever seen. Lots of open positions and a willingness to courageously grow into how we’re naturally bent has made for many conversations with clergy, laity, and staff from all over the country.

Last week I shared three areas of considerations for churches as they determine their goals for the next 1-3 years. You can read about that here.

I closed with “Realistic and reasonable expectations make for a much more enjoyable workplace. Hiring new and retaining effective staff is a disciple-making opportunity, and we must always be looking for ways to make the experience better. Next week I’ll share more about hiring a pioneer and the most important question every candidate should ask.”

Are you looking for a pioneer who enjoys starting things? Are you willing to give them the parameters and be okay with letting them creatively hit the ground running? Or are you looking for typical children’s programming? Not everyone can live and work with a pioneer, an innovator, but would prefer a project manager. No judgement here, but don’t be disappointed when a new hire isn’t both a pioneer and a project manager unless they are very experienced and have stories and evidence of such. 

When hiring a pioneer, clearly communicate shared goals, shared resources, walk alongside in the areas of your giftedness and skillset, and help unruffle feathers. Inform your pioneer that it’s okay to network, get the lay of the land, and build relationships in the first three months, six months, and touch base often both informally and formally. Offer a weekly standing meeting to be informed, offer encouragement, and coach him/her without micromanaging.

Coaching is involved in everything. What is the senior pastor or supervisor willing to coach and what are they not? Remember that people don’t quit their jobs as much as they quit their supervisors. Do your best to set up everyone to win in a candidate’s giftedness and natural bent. A teachable spirit on all fronts and clearly communicated parameters can stop the cut of stained glass beforehand. Hiring and leading staff is discipleship work. How patient are you?  It’s unrealistic to think you are hiring for a lifetime. Churches, decide what you want for the next three years and start there.

One of the best questions a candidate can ask of their future/current supervisor and the senior pastor is, “Who is the best children’s ministry person you’ve ever worked with?”  Wait, then follow up with, “What made them so great?” The first couple of statements shared right here are the lens through which the candidate/staff member will be quickly measured and these are hardly ever part of the job description. Clarity is an expression of love. Your first response bears the greatest weight.

Consider a lead in children’s ministry to be a ministry with families instead. From the research coming out of the parents we serve today (this changes every 5 years), families want to share experiences especially as kids get older whether it’s on the ball field, Disney World, camping, or faith formation in the local church and along their way. Equipping parents and grandparents to love their kids to Jesus as they go, wherever they go is what they’re asking for. And it’s what God had in mind all along. Deuteronomy 6. We’ve either gotten really good at this over the last year or we’d better start. Parents want their kids to belong, be known by name, and no longer entertained in a herd. Large group is amazing, but it’s in the small group setting where kids are known and can chat about the life questions they are wrestling with, dwell on, and take up space in their heads and hearts. They want and need to build deep relationships with people who will model what loving Jesus looks like, sounds like, and acts like. Kids drive where their families will go, but they don’t drive. Let nothing happen that doesn’t not engage minds and hearts to love Jesus and God’s Word more with the whole family in mind. 

If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God. -D.L. Moody

On August 1st, I’ll celebrate 4 years serving in full-time ministry with children on staff at my local church. I’ll also be celebrating 31 years in professional Christian education in the local church from south Louisiana, New England, and the southeast. Of all the seasons of ministry I’ve experienced, THIS season is definitely the one for which I was truly created. God’s faithfulness, His word, and the saints of seven local churches have modeled pioneering discipleship and Godly relationship for this follower’s life.

Ministry with children is done best in community as equippers of the saints. Parents and grandparents are the saints and God-ordained disciple-makers. They are the true heroes, the cape-wearers, the torch-bearers in ministry with children and families. Yeah, we can make a VBS happen, but how will we do THAT? Our Heavenly Father has only invited us to play in His sandbox. 

I’ve got my shovel.  Insert the confetti cannons!

“The idea of changing the world is utter nonsense…unless you’re a children’s pastor, then it may be possible.” – Roger Fields

Hiring a Lead in ministry with children used to be about hiring a teacher with creative decorating skills, training in behavior management, and a Vacation Bible School coordinator. Not anymore.

In my conversations with search teams and pastors over the last few weeks, these have been just a few of the questions we have chatted about…

Do you live in the community? If the pastor’s answer is YES, then it opens the door to consider an experienced candidate who is a connector who may commute. If the lead is expected to pull daily office hours, a commuter won’t fit. Ask what would it take for the hired lead to be trusted to get the job done without daily office hours? Everyone wants someone with experience, but what kind of experience would permit him/her to work from a home office at least one day each week? I commute an hour plus from my home to the church building, typically three days per week, but I connect by phone, social media, email and more, plan, research, collaborate, and learn all the other days, except Friday Sabbath, at tables all over the place including the home office.

If the pastor does not live in the local church community, then it would be wiser to hire someone who does. It’s important to have someone on staff living in the community the church serves. That person will know the rhythm of the community, attend the local school meetings, the cross country meets, and will know the holiday parade schedule, among all the things which make that community special. They’ll know how the community shops, drives, vacations, learns, and plays. 

Hint: Go to the next couple of PTA meetings and watch who ‘works the room’, chats with lots of people with a resting face of ‘joy’, or has great kids who enjoy being in groups of people.

Story: An innovative kidmin lead was hired from a school event as she worked the room. It was discovered she was a connector who ran local political campaigns which made for a perfect fit for a new church start’s children’s ministry. She earned a Christian education certificate to get the theology part down. After 3-4 years she handed off a healthy, vibrant ministry and a new kidmin church building to a supportive church when she moved on to pioneer a new endeavor. I learned so much from her about marketing, packaging, vocabulary, and sustainable energy.

As the local church’s head disciple-maker, as clergy, willing to teach someone how to do ministry? Not as a micro-manager, but would you be willing to hire a networker personality and not be annoyed because they don’t yet know how to build a ministry budget? The amazing kidmin community of the North Georgia UMC Conference can walk alongside a teachable networker to build a candidate’s skillset like budgeting, calendar management, collaboration, Safe Sanctuary, curriculum decisions, and more. There are some skills a kidmin lead will need to be part of his/her nature like connecting outside their department/local church with other ministry leads, making new friends, team building/recruiting, gratitude, helpfulness, communication clarity, a learner, generosity, a great sense of humor, trustworthiness, a desire for other disciples to succeed, to equip the saints to do the ministry of the church, goal setting, and loving people. There is a big difference between event-planning and really loving people to Jesus. Skills are important, but personality traits may be more important. Know what the pastor team can teach, what he/she is willing to teach, and what will annoy the daylights out of them to teach. 

Hint: Whatever the job description in your hand, it’s outdated. Post-COVID has set the pace and priorities of families we serve on it’s head. 

Look at the printed job description understanding there may be too much to ask of one person, especially from the get-go. Be okay with a dream list of tasks. It may be more reasonable to bullet-point the top, most important 5-10 tasks from which to grow the job description with the natural giftedness/bent a candidate can bring to the table. You’ll be surprised at what could be fabulous. Evaluate and check-in from those items every 30-60 days. Let the job description grow into the ministry you dream about for the future for your families. I re-evaluate my job description every January because a healthy ministry is always growing and changing to the audience we serve. Read more about that here.

Hard question: Do you really want your kidmin to look just like the one that can be found at every other church? When a person serves the local church in their natural giftedness and bent, what could burnout one person might just energize another. 

What are the three most important things that have to happen in your context within the next year if the church were to start from scratch? – VBS? Christmas Eve kid’s service? Sunday morning numbers? Midweek? New people? Retention of volunteers? Folks on-ramping in the kid’s area then getting connected in another? Full programming (whatever that means)? Returning numbers? New numbers?

What about the first 90-days? – connecting with a monthly networking group, already engaging social media, in-person detail, evangelism (be specific with a definition), mission (defined), a clean database, priority programming, marketing, event planning, reading a book on ministry systems?

Hint: Break down your church year into quarters. What has to happen in that quarter no matter what? It may not look like an event to plan, but a opportunity to piggy-back, partner, share, and not even on a Sunday.  This is especially helpful with a small to mid-size church when resources feel more limited and you will need whole-church buy-in.

This we know:

There is lots of movement this year. Hardly anything moved last year due to COVID, so if nothing else, this year seems extra.

• COVID has caused people to reassess their priorities, so people are relocating into and out of the area. Use all the means possible, not just church staffing sites, to post the position and network, network, network.
• There are lots of open positions, many of them part-time in smaller to mid-size churches. That’s okay. Our current societal structure encourages side-hustles. You’d be surprised at the work and elegant art that can be attended to with excellence by someone trained in other fields like counseling, teaching, preschool, real estate, etc. which can rock the church house in growing a ministry with families.
• Consider hiring for a period of one-year, then reassess. 
• Require networking and specific continuing education as part of the job and allow time for it.

What else?

Realistic and reasonable expectations make for a much more enjoyable workplace. Hiring new staff is a disciple-making opportunity, and we must always be looking for ways to make the experience better. Next week I’ll share more about hiring a pioneer and the most important question every candidate should ask. 

Other Resources:
UM Discipleship Ministries: Recommendations for Hiring a Children’s Ministry Director
HR Daily Advisor: How to Spot Talent
StartChurch: Hiring Church Staff
8 Truths of Hiring Church Staff

We were flying by the seat of our pants last summer when we came up with the summer drive-in services. Our goal was to offer a weekly gathering of developmentally appropriate faith formation experiences for littles with their bigs in the vehicle so that our community wouldn’t grow accustomed to doing life without us, the local church.

Each week was a theme, a Jesus story, games to build visual, sticky memories for kids, and short teachings, with practice, for bigs to lead their littles in the holy habits of prayer, conversation, music, service, and play. At the end of the summer, we offered weekly camp chair meetings on Thursday evenings and Sunday morning programming in the parking lot. Still doing whatever it took for our families to not grow accustomed to doing life without us.

With the incredible fruitfulness of last summer of new families becoming active in our local church and already-connected-families growing more in relationship with each other and the local church, we chose to continue the summer drive-in services in 2021 in place of the typical vacation Bible school with edited criteria in mind: 

1. Summer-long theme of We Are Family 
2. Celebrate different members of our families
3. Invite other ministries to be highlighted by serving and speaking each Thursday

The drive-in services we saw were for adults with kids in the car. Ours was for kids with adults in the car. 20-30 minutes in length (because it’s hot and considering the attention span of a little), at 6pm and 7pm (because families have different schedules), every Thursday rain or shine (because families need dependable and trustworthy expectations), and we just provide the environment (big visuals, kids want to come, parents/grandparents are the heroes, and we are just the coaches).

All of these have hit the mark. 

It’s the bonuses which have helped us sharpen our intentions moving forward:

1. Every week we have new families.
2. Every week our families are inviting other families.
3. Every week we have purposeful intergenerational relationships growing through service similar, but greater than, a week-long VBS.
4. Every week we have current ministries growing because they’ve had a new platform to introduce and ‘work the parking lot’ in extravagant hospitality with the community.
5. Every week we have new servant leaders joining the children’s ministry team as they learn we are prepared, organized, have trustworthy systems, are irrational in hospitality and innovative faith formation. And we laugh our heads off.

What’s next? 

An innovation ideation team has formed to add to our Faith Milestone initiative… Faith Milestone: I Can Worship With My Family. 

We’ll start by bringing in the developmentally appropriate faith formation experiences of the summer to an indoor space filled with visually traditional elements for the first Sundays in October and December. Both Sundays lend themselves to intentionally using all five senses (World Communion, Advent). 

Resources we’ve studied include…

Mark Burrow’s Children First at Ft. Worth
First UMC, Sadie Wolfhart’s Children’s First in Bentonville, Arkansas, and Kevin Johnson’s UMC Discipleship webinar.
Children First: Worshipping with the Family

In answer to, “What’s in our hand?”, we have the original sanctuary we can use to make a small group feel like critical mass. We will have Ambassadors leading different elements, American sign language for the Apostle’s Creed and Gloria Patri, irrational hospitality by our families intentionally inviting another family they share life with to experience worship as a family. It’ll be an intentional on-ramp to what our much larger sanctuary service offers in the weeks immediately following the Faith Milestone. Other Faith Milestones are already in place, so this would be a place to practice all of those in a teaching environment for little people. Intergenerational in message delivery, doctrinally-sound energetic song choices with motions upper elementary kids will love, and in 45 minutes. With color and interactive throughout, older kids will serve, little kids will learn, new families to our rituals will share in the experience so that we learn in a safe setting not just that we gather but why we gather: Jesus.

All discipleship programming should offer an onramp or an invite to take the next step in discipleship, another relationship within the local church. How has your summer discipleship programming made a way for families to take their next steps in your faith community?

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your  mighty acts to all who are to come.” Psalm 71:18

Everything I’ve ever done effectively has been within the community of a small group. From the local PTA to Bible study to my accountability group, I’m a better wife, mother, employee, coach, citizen, disciple of Jesus because of the efforts of sharing life in small groups. This is beyond chatting around a table. I’m talking REALLY sharing a season of life as friends-in-the-Lord or people-in-community-with-a-shared-goal. Though Jesus started the gospel of Matthew with a large group at the Sermon on the Mount, it’s what was discussed and wrestled to the ground in small group that made the content come to life, over time.

The most recent research coming out is telling us that the days of stadium preaching the gospel is giving way to sharing the gospel life in small groups. We can get great preaching and teaching beyond the 11am Sunday sanctuary ‘in our hands’ and ‘in our earbuds’, but small groups in our backyards, front porches, and parking lots is going to be the place to be for the local church’s message of the gospel to be effective as invitational, hospitable, relational, and necessary to grow in Godly wisdom and pass on our faith in Christ. It may be old school, but the local churches doing it well with systems and pre-discipleship will be schooling the ones who don’t.

I’m not responsible for small groups in my local church. I’m not even on the team that gets to have those conversations. So what can I do knowing a healthy small group system is effective ministry in my local church? I can have face-to-face conversations in the hallway, at the lunch table, and online before-hand. I toss out ideas and start conversations and ask questions. I’m interested in how others are keeping their minds on Jesus. I pray the Lord will let me show interest in how others are ‘small grouping’ in their context and within my own local church. I consider this pre-discipleship.

Pre-discipleship is walking directly into the obstacles and hurdles that stand in the way of the disciples of Jesus who want to grow in their faith in community, but are unable to because they’ve already decided their family commitments by the time we tell them what we’re doing.  Just because we announce it won’t make it a win. Christianity is fundamentally a text-based religion based on an historical event: Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Everything else we wrestle with, think about, discuss, practice, respond, experiment in devotional practices so that we grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man in community guided by the Holy Spirit. Yeah, but how do we fit it all in?

James Bryan Smith writes in The Good and Beautiful Life, “We live at the mercy of what we think about. What we think, determines how we live.” My families have way too much consuming their minds, but we can help if we prepare the way in pre-discipleship. Recalling the Bible account of the boy and his lunch feeding the 5,000 by the hands of Jesus, it was the boy’s Mama who prepared the way by making his lunch that morning.

Okay, enough about the why and the fruitfulness. Here are a few thoughts on how to keep the pre-discipleship conversations going….

Make it convenient – Think of ten people you’d like to know better and begin asking, “Hey, I’d like to spend more time getting to know you. If you were to be in a small group this fall, are days or evenings more convenient for you? I’m not asking you for a commitment right now, just trying to figure out what is the best timing for you.”

Make it relevant – What’s happening right now?

1.  The Chosen TV series – This series is free on my phone with The Chosen app, I can throw it on my Roku tv for the family from my phone, and Season 1 is on DVD. For those folks who don’t like that it’s not ‘true to the Bible’ in every scene, remember that it’s not a documentary. But IT WILL start some great conversations with anybody no matter where they are on their journey. It’s a great story! Our culture is made up of image-driven beings and we can use this well-done resource for some powerful conversations. They’ve put out an interactive Bible study on season 1 which has some great discussion questions. In the words of one of my local church saints, “Three good discussion questions make for a fabulous small group.” Families could watch the episode on their own, then come together for sacred conversation.  Intergenerational conversations. Another local church I know is doing this and rotating homes, locations, for a summer ‘pop-in’ small group. This could easily be rolled out church-wide.
2. Current sermon series – If your clergy team provides a sermon series, it’s low-hanging fruit to pull the livestream section from the YouTube channel and provide three good discussion questions on both social media and in-person. It’ll get the whole church talking about the series. Kidmin champions can locate an already-done-well video clip to make the content more developmentally appropriate for the littles and again, easy inclusion for intergenerational sacred conversations and makes mom and dad or grandparents the best sacred coaches.
3. Think of an August or September start up to the time change for your season. When the time changes, it’s dark earlier and it takes everyone longer to get from point A to point B. I live in the Greater Atlanta area so factoring in time and traffic are constant considerations.

Make it a partnership for a season – Plan to co-lead a small group. You’ll make a new friend or enjoy a deeper friendship with an old friend. Then, don’t take over! Be a full-on participant, but with keys. Count to 10 before you jump in. Listen a lot. Ask more questions than make statements. Support the small group by making room reservations and promoting it like you’re recruiting for VBS. I’ve discovered that when people are personally invited to be in your small group, your small group will either have enough to make OR you’ll learn why it won’t (inconvenient day/time, too long, too short, the subject matter isn’t relevant right now no matter how good the material is.)

With post-COVID culture, I’ve pulled out Chris Surratt’s Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to design your small-groups system to reach the fringes from Next Leadership Network. If ever there was a time to reach the fringes, it’s now.

“Everyone needs community, and we have to make it easy for them to find it.” – Chris Surratt, Small Groups For the Rest of Us

The International Network of Children’s Ministers has been one of the more faithful voices speaking over those of us in truth and love in the trenches of the local church who point littles and bigs to Jesus. Last week they published data specific to millennial parents of faith. You can read about it here. Millennial parents span birth years 1981-1996. My adult children are in this amazing, generous, Jesus-loving, and overwhelmed generation of young parents. This is personal.

INCM reports ‘they want their children to love Jesus, but most of them don’t fully understand what discipleship means or looks like for themselves.’ We lead littles in children’s ministry, but what does it mean to lead their bigs? Here are a few ideas…

Intentionally plan to provide ‘church’ other than Sunday mornings. Faith communities can provide consistent, excellent faith formation experiences other than on Sunday mornings. This is one of the reasons we provide weekly, intergenerational experiences in ‘seasons’ alongside a family’s seasonal rhythm like Thursday evening family drive-in services in the summer at two different times: 6pm & 7pm. We may not have the numbers of a Sunday morning, but we have consistent attendance of weekly and seasonal guests because we make it easy, short, energetic, relaxed and kid-friendly to practice the holy habits with us as a guide and parents or grandparents as the lead and hero. We are there every Thursday, rain or shine….kinda like we’re also there on Sunday mornings.

Story: B and E have careers (retail management and law enforcement) where regular Sunday mornings are every-other so that their boys don’t go to day-care during the typical work week. Because the familiar faces of their weekday preschool staff are sprinkled through the church throughout the week and weekend, they and their boys are loved on by a consistent faith family. They attended a different church before the pandemic. This ‘preschool church’ is now their church. INCM and Barna reported not long ago that parents will put up with mediocre preaching and music as long as their kids are known by name and are hearing about Jesus.

Story: B and K’s work schedule is every-other (nurse and law enforcement) and are consistent attenders to the weekly Thursday evening summer drive-in services, offered at two different times, and now bring their parents (the grandparents) so the entire family sings, plays games, prays, and hears a Jesus teaching as an intergenerational team for the sake of their littles. They even brought the dog last time! Connection and content have equal weight in priority of planning.

Intentionally plan to communicate in lots of different ways. Email is still king, but make it short, friendly, less formal, and relative. Digging for info is not helpful and no one’s got time for that. Social media basic image consistency, but post so that these parents don’t have to dig through the feed. Sending personal texts the morning of makes us real, personal, and communicates, “I’m in this with you, friend, and I really want to see you and your littles.” Old school still works, too. Update bulletin announcements because parents are looking for ways to grow with their children’s faith and are looking to us to help them do that easily and developmentally appropriately. New people read bulletins. New people are looking for new friends. Make posters to grab a kid’s attention. Post pics almost immediately afterwards for the purpose of recording memories and building a desire for those who weren’t there to want to be there next time. Pictures and images tell stories best. A quick review of your photos of an experience can let you know if families are all–in in that area of the event or checked-out and an edit might be in store for next time. Always edit your communication and event to excellence, but the basics of when, where, how, and who are consistent and reliable.

Intentionally plan to build community by interacting with families where THEY are. Figure out where your parents are and be there. If they’re online, be there. If they’re not online, they still have phones so plan to regularly text or email. Parents want the best for their children. All of them! Even if we don’t see them on a regular basis because they are doing other great things, we should keep up with them wherever they are. Decide to not make them feel guilty for not coming to your stuff, but rather feel they haven’t missed a beat when the do come. Four weekends in a row at a dance competition or a travel ball tournament? I’ve got something to chat about when I do see them and a handwritten note of ‘missing you’ or ‘congratulations’ goes a long way in relationships. You know that friend who no matter how much time has passed you can pick right back up where you left off? We want to be that.

Story: Mom works in the medical field and I haven’t seen her nor her girls since before COVID, but I’ve texted her every Sunday morning since COVID. She responded a couple of times, but I still texted. She and her girls came to last week’s drive-in service and our team didn’t miss a beat making sure they felt they still belonged and we had lots to chat about. Finding the girl’s Sunday school teacher at the same drive-in service, we were able to get them re-connected face-to-face and the chatting was over-the-top.

I eagerly await for INCM to continue reporting how we can walk alongside our millennial parents. These folks are leading the ultimate small group. We’d train our small group leaders, right? Can we do any less for these amazing disciples who want desperately to point their small group of little people to Jesus?

“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11

I don’t get my feelings hurt easily. With the maiden name of Bull, you grow a pretty thick skin from the get-go. Yet there are times when I am too much. I am. I run fast, I learn fast, I speak loud, and I throw ideas at the wall like a textbook innovator. I rebuke any critical spirit and always want the best in others and myself to shine through. I’ve learned to increase my question to statement ratio and I work on not interrupting people. I’m a verbal processor, so I affirm with listening skills like, “Mmmm”, “Hmmmm”, “Yes”, and “I hear you.”

In complete self-awareness, what I intend is not always what is received. As the ‘child’ of the church staff team (think of a typical family and the dynamics involved) I get my feelings hurt when I’m too much and informed to cool my jets, slow it down, told that I could be off-putting, or when I get a “shhh!” as I jump into a conversation. Yeah. I’m totally aware that I can be too much.

It’s been my experience that the Senior Pastors are historically the ‘parents’ and carry the weight of authority and responsibility of the church-staff-family. They may invite us to have a say (staff meeting=family meeting), but they have the final say for what’s going to happen in the family. Worship leaders are the ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’. They add creativity, always sit at the adult table, and can tell the family stories through song, space, and well, they’re the other adults. Youth ministry people are considered the ‘teens’ and children’s ministry people are historically considered the ‘kids’ in the church-staff-family. Think about it. Each church-staff-family role comes with family-related responsibilities, expectations, tolerances, and nods to what is permitted as a multi-generational (no matter the age of any individual) in how the church-staff-family works.

This means children’s ministry people are typically accommodating (we’re informed what we’re doing to help and support everyone else in the church-staff-family), adaptive (we deal with what we’re told), require more set-up (ever packed up for a 3-year old for the beach or let a 10-year old pack themselves? Can’t ask a 1st grader to set up or take down tables and chairs for an event so the before and after is WAY more complicated with a greater amount of children’s ministry logistics.) We take direction, make the best of every situation (ever had the worship service end 30 minutes early/late?) and do whatever it takes thinking everything rides on our shoulders. We want everyone to be happy and enjoy the ride. Sound like kids? Yeah. 

I’m always at the kid’s table and I’m good with that. It offers clarity for my boundaries and responsibilities.

So what to do when I get my feelings hurt?

• Fix a cup of tea and cry. Tears are God’s healing balm and physical release of the yuck. Even if the rebuke is prefaced with “It’s not personal…,” it is. Name it, then let it go. Thank you Lord, for tears.
• Go with what I know and not with how I feel. I’m a beloved child of God and He is my Heavenly Father. He hears me. He knows me. He is still working on what He hopes for me. He alone is trustworthy and can handle my feelings. He has a whole book filled with stories of His faithfulness to His children who are ‘too much’. Thank you Lord, for transforming my mind and my feelings will follow. Lord, help me to live into James 1:9, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
• Keep it between me and God remembering that if I lose my joy, I lose my impact. So, I do what brings me joy: Scroll through pics of the grands. Write a note of thanks to someone on my team. Help someone. Bake a cake and deliver to a neighbor. Take a long, hot shower. Watch season 1, episode 3 of The Chosen. Stay off Facebook. Practice a period of silence. Drink water. Take a walk. Lord, no matter how I feel, do not let me sin in this.

In the wise words of Scarlett O’Hara in the classic Gone With The Wind, “Tomorrow is another day.”

“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13

 

The Rock Solid 5th Grade Retreat offers developmentally appropriate teaching and practice for students completing elementary school to build a rock solid faith through the holy habits of worship, prayer, study, and play as they prepare to move into middle and high school. I was a co-leader for the prayer station. My partner used yoga mats and body prayers. I offered self-directed stations with a short debrief at the conclusion.

Introductory teaching: Prayer is communicating with God. The best way for God to communicate with us is through the Bible. The way we best communicate with God is through prayer. God gave us five gifts to help us experience the world He created and to keep us safe. These were the stations using those five gifts based on Colossians 4:2 “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Sight – Glow stick bracelets

Say a blessing prayer for someone by name, then give them a bracelet. Be willing to receive prayer from someone else only responding, “Thank you.”

Jesus asked his friends, “Watch and pray.” Matthew 26:41; Mark 14:38; Luke 21:36

Smell – Silence/deep breaths

Just be with God, light an LED candle, sit on (or near) the towel, and stay until you are tapped on the shoulder to move on.

I added  a healthy sprinkle of peppermint essential oils to the towel often to have the scent as part of the space.

God’s favorite smell is our prayers. Psalm 141:2 “May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.”   

Touch – Ask forgiveness for your wrongs, your hurts, your expectations, your words.

Recite the CONFESSION AND PARDON.

Merciful God,
I confess that I have not loved you with my whole heart.
I have failed to be an obedient church.
I have not done your will,
I have broken your law,
I have rebelled against your love,
I have not loved my neighbors,
and I have not heard the cry of the needy.
Forgive me, I pray.
Free me for joyful obedience,
through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

Tie a ribbon onto the frame as a remembrance that Jesus took the punishment for our sins. If you confess (agree with God) your sins, God is faithful and just (fair) and will forgive you.

God does not remember our repented sins, but we do so that we repent/turn away from them to love God with our whole heart for our whole lives.

“If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just (fair) and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Hear – Pray the 23^rd Psalm from bookmark  aloud while walking a track around 2 orange cones

“And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Think beyond the moment, but the future. God and you can use anything and everything you face to help someone else.

Don’t despair. Ex: Judas…if he’d just waited one more day! Pray aloud even when you don’t feel it….it’ll remind you until you do.

In the debrief I share they will hear this scripture at various remarkable moments of Christian lives like funerals, births, prayer nights, help, etc. The bookmark I found was a King James Version so I shared that it was the first Bible financed by King James in the year 1611 to be mass produced through the printing press and explained the old English words which were appropriate at that time.

Taste – Dumdum lollipop

Read a proverb each day for the day of the month. Today is the 17^th, so read Proverbs 17 from your own Bible.

Proverbs are wise sayings, not truths, but can help you along your way…will help you live like Jesus growing “in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man.” Luke 2:52

In debrief, I shared testimony of students who read a proverb every night before they go to bed or each when they rise each morning while in middle school/high school.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8

Debrief

• God has equipped you with 5 senses: tools to stay safe & enjoy the world He created. When we don’t know what or how to pray/communicate with Him, we can use our five senses.
• Go with what you know and not with how you feel. This is what you know: YOU are a beloved child of God, created by God, for Jesus, to bring good into the world.
• Sing an echo benediction: “Do not be afraid, God is with you, Everywhere you go, God is there.” (Thank you, Mark Burrows). Do not be afraid/fear not …. 366 times…one for every day of the year.