Families are so busy. Living in the metropolitan Atlanta area has many families spending more time than ever on the road running errands, going to work, and delivering little people to all that will give each child an edge. Children are tutored, rushed, coached, taught, and fed. Families eat on the run, do homework late, and can hardly get the laundry folded. Planning for and setting aside time to have ‘the talk’ is indeed a priority, but hardly makes the ‘urgent’ column. And when is the right age? Where do you even begin? How much vocabulary needs to be covered? What does he/she already know? WHY and HOW do they know what they already know?

The United Methodist Church has taken the point on emphasizing a healthy biblical and Christian perspective on human sexuality, values, and relationships since the 1980s with a program specifically for 5th and 6th graders entitled Created By God. The course was updated significantly in 2017 by Rev. Dr. Leigh Meekins, Rev. Dr. Tanya Eustace Campen, and Mark Huffman, Certified Sexuality Educator and is now known as Wonderfully Made: Loved by God. Updates in the program include time for reflection and ways to incorporate learning into the lives of students, as well as a strengthened spiritual component.

The course offers a comprehensive introduction to human sexuality – anatomy, vocabulary, attitudes, morals, growth and development, relationships, reproduction, responsibility and safety – built on the foundation of faith in Jesus Christ and the written Word of God. Participant Books serve as resources that help children ages 10-12 understand their bodies, the changes they are going through, and how God loves them now and always. The course explains sexual anatomy as well as the different aspects of puberty. Additionally, the book will discuss the influence of social media on sexual desire and decision making.

Why ages 10-12? Because their parents and families are still the primary influence in their lives. They are still listening. They still trust their parents and teachers more than their peers. Current research also tells us that changes are beginning to take place in their bodies on the average at age 8. Age 8!

Wonderfully Made is typically a 3-day course for 5th and 6th grade students and their parents: Thursday evening (parents), Friday evening (students), all day Saturday (students in the am, parents & students in the afternoon). Attending a trainer-training a couple of weeks ago reiterated the need for the church to champion for kid’s souls AND their bodies.

I sent an email last spring to several then-4th-grade parents sharing we would have the opportunity to host a Wonderfully Made event the next year when their students would be 5th graders inviting them to pray with their spouses about their family’s participation. Though families didn’t want yet to think about it, they overwhelmingly agreed they would indeed participate. It’s on the calendar for March 2019 for 5th & 6th grade families.

We will also invite other churches in our district/region to bring their families/students because we believe we are better together. A smaller church probably wouldn’t offer a class to one or a couple of students, but together we can offer a critical mass environment and their families will receive an excellent small group connection with their own church’s leaders. This is also one of those events when a trained facilitator/trainer comes into your house to lead. Though I am now a trainer, I have invited a fellow Children’s Pastor who has experience offering this program to her own students for many years with the one of the authors as her church’s facilitator/trainer.  I will serve as the hostess-with-the-mostest.

How will you reach out to your families to provide Christian education for mind, souls, and bodies?

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

We offer faith milestones for littles with a big-who-loves-them to make for a sticky faith memory with some accountability as a platform to teach the holy habits of growing our faith in Jesus. Most are 45 minutes long. Most include a teaching, a practicable interactive element, takeaways, a certificate, and a class photo. Most, especially the Communion and Baptism milestones, will include a collaborating clergy. If offered as a workshop, we begin by lighting an LED pillar candle and repeating, “We light this candle….as a symbol…of God’s presence with us…and around us.”

The schedule looks like this:

K5 – I Can Go To Sunday School (August) … A meet and greet with tour into McEachern Kids (K5-5th grade) the Sunday prior to Promotion Sunday especially for rising kindergartners led by the Ambassadors

K5 & 1st – I Can Receive Communion: Bread & Juice Class (Sept) …. Holy Communion 

1st & 2nd – I Can Pray (February) … Prayer stations with takeaway tools to use at home

2nd & 3rd – I Can Love My Church (Nov) … Group treasure hunt to locations throughout campus and learning vocabulary like narthex, pew, along with local church history

3rd-5th – I Can Serve (August) … Acolyte training

3rd-5th – I Can Follow Jesus: Baptism (March) NEW

4th & 5th – I Can Lead: Ambassadors (August) … Leadership Training 5-7pm w/dinner

4th & 5th – Road Trip Retreat (March) … Fri-Sun shared event with other local churches retreat at local state park (alternate Ambassadors Road Trip and Disciples Road Trip)

5th grade – Moving On Up to Middle School (March) … begin transition to youth group

5th & 6th – Wonderfully Made: Loved By God (January) … Human Sexuality & Jesus w/parents; 3 days

K5-5th – I Can Worship With My Family – various worship services with intentional teaching of worship elements specific to our denomination and honoring of our local church

K5-5th – I Can Go On A Mission Trip: Family Mission Trip (July) NEW

I started these years ago to make special for families a time/place for intentional teaching and practice what I considered the most important practices of our faith in Jesus. I chose these elements since they were practices of Jesus. Each year we edit to excellence with shared language and interactive elements. I started with three in the first year.

As a great number of new families are moving into our state and into our community, offering these faith milestones help us…
1. Find common language with those new to the faith and new to our part of the country/world with shared experiences with new friends-in-the-Lord. Moving from other parts of the country/world, these experiences practice our commonalities and give space for sacred conversations.
2. Give the littles and their bigs access to the spiritual leaders in our church Teaching for a little and a big-who-loves-them, the big learns alongside their little, removing the anxiety which could be part of joining a new faith community. Young parents today are looking for integrity and truth in their spiritual leaders. Faith milestones give space to begin and grow those relationships.
3. Remove the expectation that a robust faith in Jesus will be ‘caught’. Faith milestones give intentional space for developmentally appropriate faith formation family experiences. This generation of bigs of our littles want to learn alongside their children. Faith milestones sets the table for bigs to be the spiritual heroes in their little’s lives.

Want to take it a step further? Blessing of a driver’s license, Confirmation, Bible Ninja Warrior, first job, biblical finance, etc. You get the idea. I’m responsible for K5-5th grades, but so much more could be accomplished if shared throughout for 0-26yo.

How could you set a table for faith milestones in your church family?

“My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside.” Job 23:11

Brooke Barksdale serves the families and community of Marietta First United Methodist Church as the Associate Director of Children’s Ministry. She leads Wonderfully Made: Loved by God programs and co-leads the Bible study component of the annual Rock Solid 5th Grade Retreat held at Camp Glisson in Dahlonega, Georgia for the North Georgia Conference of the United Methodist Church. She’s a wife, mom, daughter, friend, disciple-maker, and a great teacher.

In her own words, Brooke rocks it at “Coffee, postcards and thank you cards, engaging Bible studies for upper elementary, willing to be a whole lot of EXTRA for Jesus and food – maybe not preparing it or serving it, but definitely great at gathering around it to network and collaborate and listen and learn!”

When asked to offer her top five hacks/tips for adding EXTRA for Jesus with upper elementary disciples, she shared…

#1 Go big and fun!! They are kids – play games, do crafts, but tie in that deeper meaning.

#2 Be silly and loud and over the top in your presentation – when they see I am so sold out for Jesus that kind of joy and excitement is contagious! That excitement and contagiousness applies to adult volunteers, as well.

#3 Don’t underestimate upper elementary kids. They are dealing with some deep problems themselves so don’t think they aren’t willing to go deeper or have meatier conversations. 

#4 Provide opportunities every time you’re together for small group conversations. If you always meet in one room for large group, create smaller turn-and-talk environments. 

#5 Incorporate worship when you gather. This is the age where they begin to learn there are so many ways to give praise, thanks, and love to God Almighty! If you can have a volunteer provide live music that is awesome, but if you sing along to a CD or a YouTube video that’s great, as well. Encourage the expression of worship as singing, dancing, moving, waving arms, or just reading the words and the lyrics to yourself in your head. As a leader, if this isn’t your comfort zone, get out of it! This is where kids see the adults around them model that it’s okay to lift hands or stand still, but always be 100% in for worshipping God! 

Brooke went on to write, “I could talk more about specifics of the curriculum, but it’s your enthusiasm and how you present anything that is going to get the kids hooked and sold.” 

If you’d like to learn more, reach out to Brooke Barksdale on social media or by emailing brookebarksdale@marriettafumc.org 

Is your sense of urgency for all things ministry a bit less urgent than last month? Last year? As more and more public places begin to open and larger groups are beginning to safely gather, I’m feeling more a call to shore up some systems and less a call to basic survival.

I reached out to some dear colleagues in North Georgia and asked them for their top 5 hacks/tips in an area where they are rocking it with this post:

What do you have a really good handle on? Volunteers? Staffing? Scheduling? Transitions? Crafts? Video? Online discipleship? Sunday school teaching? Facebook? Postcards? Hospitality? Supply closet coordinating? Staging? Coloring? Texting? Curriculum? Filing? Wonderfully Made? Calendaring? Budgeting? Leaving a church when surely goodness and mercy follow ya? Starting at a new church? Survival? Coffee? Networking? Meetings?
We each have a something-something that we are really good at and knocking it out of the park in our context. We need to hear from you! Set aside any thought of tooting your own horn (I’ll do that for ya). Set aside any thought that someone else might be doing it better. YOU are doing something super awesome fabulous and I need to know what that is!
I get contacted all the time by a kidmin champion needing to talk with someone about some ‘thing’ and I need to know who we can connect. That’s YOU!
I’ve got a couple of gift cards for 2 of you (ended up gifting 3!) willing to tell me an area where YOU ROCK! I’ll pull from the hat (ended up being a china tea cup) and post next Friday.
You can comment below or send me a dm!
And in case you haven’t heard it lately: YOU ROCK! Thank you for loving your littles and their bigs to Jesus.
“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.” Psalm 107:2a

This week we pass along tips from Valerie Blackburn who is knocking it out of the park in organizing and maintaining supplies. Valerie serves the families and community of Bethel United Methodist Church in Stockbridge, Georgia as the Children’s Minister. Valerie is The Maker on the creative types assessment. When it comes to organizing and maintaining supplies she shared in her own words…

#1 Write it down on a list what is needed.

#2 Look ahead at lessons to see if something may be needed which is not typically handy.

#3 Put stickers on the drawers of bins which list the supplies included within.

#4 Have story books organized by the Old Testament, New Testament, and Others to help with easier access.

#5 Have a cardboard paper organizer to separate colors of construction paper.

What would you add to Valerie’s top 5 for organizing and maintaining supplies?

If you’d like to learn more, reach out to Valerie Blackburn at blackburn7893@comcast.net. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

 

There are local churches ‘saving’ spaces for when we ‘get back to normal.’ This means, there are spaces unused and off-limits to ministry with children and families. If ever there was a time for territorial caution tape to be torn down, it’s now. It will require hard phone calls to church saints, awkward zoom meetings with trustees, and not everyone is up for the challenge. I want to encourage you to have these courageous conversations. The days of playing it safe and walking away from a table (or zoom meeting) content or settling for whatever you are given, are over.

Perhaps you were chosen for such a time as this. (Esther 4:14) David Kinnaman of the Barna Group of researchers made the bold statement last week that one out of five churches will close in the next 18 months. Not one to jump down a hole of negativity, let me just proclaim in my loudest voice with a megaphone, for me and my church, “Not on my watch!”

There’s a great church whose reservations for their first Sunday in the building for the children’s services filled up in three hours. Three hours! All because the space the Children’s Ministry Lead was offered could only hold twelve kids. What happens to kids #13, #14, #15….#25? What happens to their family? What subtle, but very loud message is being conveyed? Loving families to Jesus doesn’t just happen in the Sanctuary. Faith formation is not just providing content and a distant sense of normalcy in a space that is not kid-friendly, but rather saying, “We stand with you, Mom, Dad!”

Several hours later, this warrior-for-kids texted me to share the senior pastor made those hard phone calls and the larger spaces will be available to kids the following week. She and I had prayed for that and God blessed it with a resounding, “Yes!” Maybe we should have prayed for more! Oh Lord, let us not be limited to what we can see. If Jesus came back tomorrow, would I stand before His precious face and say, “I tried, but they wouldn’t let me.” I just can’t!

Recently we enjoyed two infant baptisms at our outdoor, in-person worship service on the lawn. We said aloud, together, “With God’s help,” we will faithfully stand with these families to love their kids to Jesus with our lives. I gave party blowers to the siblings, the cousins, and the great-grandparents, because we stand in celebration for their legacies of faith. They can trust that I will speak up, wave the banner, and though I will submit to the authority over me, I will push the limits of what is comfortable to make sure kids hear other voices in their heads saying they are,“fearfully and wonderfully made.” I know this is your heart, as well.

Let’s be creative. Let’s be innovative. Let’s find out what it would take to get a YES and then work within those boundaries all the way to the margin. Andy Stanley shared at a Catalyst conference in 2017, “A single act of courage is often the catalyst for extraordinary.” We share the stories of courageous people with our kids all the time, but what about your story? Are you ready to be courageous?

Let’s give ‘em something to talk about!

Whatever you are facing, this may be your Esther moment, your Daniel moment. Put on the armor of an exile and I encourage you to prayerfully go with what you know and not with how you feel. I can’t imagine the anxiety Esther or Daniel must have felt, but whatever you are wrestling with to make more noise for your families will not get you killed. I am standing in the gap for you. Are you ready to step up, step out? Just don’t step aside! Don’t miss your shot (Hamilton!) You do know what hangs in the balance: Loving kids to Jesus!

“On the day I called, You answered me; You increased strength within me.” Psalm 138:3

Because of the COVID19 safety restrictions, we have shifted faith formation for little people from inside the building this summer to the parking lot. Children remain in their vehicles to celebrate Jesus as a family.

I’d spoken with many churches doing drive-in church well for their adults knowing there were children in the vehicles. We wanted to do drive-in church well for kids knowing their adults were in the vehicles. Considerations were multi-sensory, hands-on, all-skate, Bible reading, give tools and practice for family prayer, car-chat discussion, games, a noisy offering response, kid-friendly contact collection, follow-up, a sound system, smooth traffic flow, a take-away, aimed at an audience of 3rd grade boys, 20 minutes, Jesus content, leave ‘em smiling. Three services at 6pm (1st grade & younger), 7pm (2nd & 3rd graders), 8pm (4th & 5th graders). If a family has multiples, they pick their service.

We shifted to a different location due to rain at the start of the first service. By the third service we were blessed with a rainbow in the sky. God’s goodness was waiting for us. The volunteers close to the vehicles were masked and gloved. We used our current Sunday school curriculum as the starting point for planning.

Hospitality – Colorful signs and familiar Sunday school music as they arrive and park.

Welcome – Each kid gets a registration form and black balloon at arrival to pop later. Inside each balloon is a piece of paper with the scripture inside. Registration form asks for family name, how many in the car, email address. Kids fold it into a paper airplane to fly at a target at the end of the service in the world’s largest offering plate (kiddie pool).

Game – The Masked Dancer (3 animal masks; choir robes) to Can’t Stop The Feeling.

Song – Taught sign language to Amazing Grace, then played the 2 minute Sunday school music to do the signs together.

Game – God created our bodies so let’s play Simon Says and see how well your body works (air guitar, lift legs as high as you can, hug yourself, hug your family, pat your head, kiss your tummy, touch your nose with your tongue, etc.)

Pop the balloon – Find out where to look in your Bible, Psalm 139.

Pray in song – O Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.

Bigs read Psalm 139:1-14 – Psalm 139 was written by David and known as a man after God’s own heart. David wrote people are wonderfully made because of who made us: God! Share the story of how Milk Duds got its name. We are not duds, we are wonderfully made by a wonderfully, perfect, and loving God.

Car Chat – We learn that God is our creator and He sees our thoughts and actions. Is that a good thing? Do we really want God to see us all the time? Does God know you? How does it feel to know that God created you? (Leave space in-between each question.)

Personal Testimony – The things God made about us were made that way for a reason. I shared about my Dad’s big voice. I have that same big voice because God knew one day that I’d need a big voice to tell kids about Jesus. Even the things you might not like about yourself can be part of God’s purpose for you and He can use it so you can tell others about Jesus.

Closing Prayer – Hand-stack prayer: everyone in the vehicle stacks hands on top of each other. The person whose hand is at the bottom of the stack goes first, praying a single sentence prayer as they pull out his hand and place it on top of the hand stack. Then, the next person prays and pulls her hand out and places it on top of the stack until everyone gets to pray aloud then all close with AMEN.

Leaving activity – Receive offering and fly the registration form paper airplanes into the kiddie pools carried around the parking lot. Kids get small boxes of Milk Duds tossed into the vehicles from someone who is gloved.

Lessons learned to put into place next week – Each person who speaks introduces themselves (not everyone in the vehicle will know us); wireless mic for the speaker rather than a hand-held to facilitate greater movement; pray for no rain so we can use the larger space and all can see the speaker when necessary.

We plan for each week to look differently and the experience to be different. Example: emcee added to week #2; drive-in stations for each vehicle on week #4; send-out station at the end on week #3; end with a drive-thru pool party and water on week #4.

Text messages were sent and received on Sunday from the big people of several upper elementary boys sharing what their boys remembered and enjoyed at the service so we know what to focus on next week as most memorable. The hand-written follow-up postcards were mailed out the following Monday to mailing addresses as a thank you for coming and an invite to come back followed with an email reminder for the next Thursday to go out on Wednesday morning. If no address is known, we will contact by email to introduce ourselves and make connection the next day. Content is not king. Connection is king. It’s all about the growing of our relationships. This was a natural next-step in discipleship for those who came to know us at the drive-thru. 

Jeff Henderson is an entrepreneur, speaker, pastor, business leader, and author of Know What You’re FOR: A Growth Strategy for Work, An Even Better Strategy for Life. In a recent talk about Three Strategies For Re-entry, he said, “Don’t let your customer grow accustomed to doing life without you.” We don’t have customers; we have disciples of Jesus and we are responsible for one another. We need each other, we’re better together, we’re wired for community, and drive-in church on Thursday evenings this summer will allow us to continue to safely do life together with littles and their bigs.

The biggest win? The big people in the lives of our little people are the heroes here. These bigs are leading their kids/grandkids to keep their eyes on Jesus and their eyes out for other people. We are just providing the setting and the sacred space. 

“I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” 1 Corinthians 9:23

Christian educators are everywhere and it thrills me to spend time face-to-face and across the table with folks from other parts of the country. I was invited to Minnesota to share ideas to get some creative conversations to take place. Totally in my element and among friends, I walked through our discipleship plan for K5-5th graders of Meat, Milestones, Mountaintop, and Marvelous Moments. Each of these four Ms are laced with Bible reading, generosity, and serving elements. Why? Because of all the spiritual disciplines we practice as followers of Jesus, research tells us that these are the three that cause us to make strides in spiritual maturity. (Ken Willard, “STRIDE”) I want to be about making strides and moving beyond baby steps in building the faith of little people. Oh we include other spiritual disciplines in our teachings, but these three take priority in our filter for what makes a true partnership with families.

Partnering with families means we only offer what is excellent, not filling up the calendar, offering low-hanging fruit and easy wins for parents in the eyes of their kids, and Jesus in everything we do.

Meat elements – That which happens on Sundays. It’s our bread and butter. It’s what we’re known for. Sunday school, Childrens’ Church, CLUB345, Ambassadors, Parenting with a Purpose, and I’m currently working on Grandparenting with a Purpose. The average age of a new grandparent in the USA is 47 years old. This is a whole area and season of ministry that I’m deep-diving into right now.

Milestones – Those intentional teaching moments that are developmentally appropriate for specific ages/grades which are foundational to building a relationship with Jesus in the local church and at home. Holy Communion (Bread and Juice), Prayer (I Can Pray), Church language (I Love My Church), Wonderfully Made (faith and sexuality education), Moving On Up to Middle School, transitioning from nursery to children’s ministry.

Mountaintop – These are those full-on-sharing-the-gospel-experiences like VBS, retreats, and Ambassadors.

Marvelous Moments – These are the one-offs, the once-a-year or once-every-two-years specials which are invitational for next steps in discipleship including shared events like Faith Field Trips, Winter Ball Invitational, Splish Splash, Messy Church, Bible Ninja Warrior, etc.

Each local church has a culture and sustains a community, so how do you choose what might be a successful marvelous moment? (1) Dashboard research, and (2) lots of personal conversations.

Dashboard research requires a drive around the community at different hours of the day to find out what businesses are plentiful, what are the traffic patterns, how far will people drive to remain in the community, and find out what other ministries are already available by checking out online the closest churches to your church.

Engage in personal conversations asking questions of the connector folks in your church, but also the locals: grocery story clerk, the deli clerk, the coffee shop barista, the UPS store, the dry cleaners, librarian. Ask questions about what evening nothing is happening (when), when do the school buses run (start time), when do your kids have to go to bed on a school night (end time), what tv shows do you like (themes), where do you go out to eat (favorite foods), where do they go to church (tell me about your church), extracurricular activities (over scheduling is not partnering with parents, but rather burdening families), where does the local school need volunteers (outside service), and the possibility of fee-based ministry outside of Sundays and Wednesdays (recreation, fine arts, music, tutoring, relationship-building).

With the knowledge that people are always interested in new things and meeting new people, shoot some bullets before you shoot cannonballs. (Jim Collins from “Good to Great”) Try something based on your dashboard research AND your personal conversations with a specific goal in mind and JUST DO IT! Give yourself lots of grace and an understanding that you are in it for the long haul. Gather a partner or two to share in the labor because as we labor and serve together, there’s a lot of laughter. And we all need more laughter in ministry.

I woke on presentation day in Minnesota with the temperature of -11 degrees. Yeah…11 degrees below zero! But inside the home of my hostess and the church where I met these amazing Christian Educators, was the warmth of the Holy Spirit on fire for sharing Jesus with little people. Thank you Minnesota CEF for the lovely invite and your amazing hospitality.

“Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.” Proverbs 9:9

Yesterday was our monthly children’s ministry networking lunch. Two weeks ago, I and another kidmin champion drove an hour and a half to another district’s children’s ministry networking lunch. I learned and discovered several things that will be game-changing for me. I always do!

Two weeks ago… I learned how a QR code might be the answer to offering free registration links to VBS and other special events for our families who receive assistance through Backpack Blessings, Food Pantry, and other outreaches from our local church; Nerf Wars; planning scheduled 18 months out; low birth years; upcoming Children’s Ministry Institute dates for 2020.

Yesterday… We talked Christmas Eve family programs with silhouettes, cowbells, bags, headbands, musical dramas, and themes; Safe Sanctuary and updating staff policies for staff hired under the age of 21; fall festivals in October; Hoedowns in November; nursery staff; organizational science; job descriptions; recreation ministry; fall retreat registration hard deadlines; 2020 Wonderfully Made events where we can share the event with smaller churches and diverse locations; profiles for volunteers (in response to a speaker from Catalyst Conference); and so much more.

I can’t imagine having to come up with every new idea, re-inventing the wheel for every event, or doing ministry well without the input of other voices and experiences. These folks are the most creative people I know and I need face-time with them. Table life with them. We are better together! Just this last weekend, three of our churches gathered for the first annual Family Campout sharing kayaks, meal duties, tents, cabins, water, s’mores, communion on Sunday morning (clergy camped, too!), hikes, games, lingering beside a campfire or the lake.

There are several of us who share events like the Family Campout on a regular basis. What’s next? The Friday before Christmas is an early-release day from school so we’ve planned a Christmas Faith Field Trip. Five of us will take our 3rd-5th graders to meet up at Red Top Mountain for putt-putt golf, play, and some caroling practice. Then on to one church to prepare food boxes. We’ll all deliver food boxes to families in an area which receives summer lunches in a flash mob of Christmas carols. Then we’re off to pick up hot-dog or pizza-slice dinner at the local Costco to break out in song again. Really! Costco on the Friday night before Christmas! Next stop? Festival of lights in a town nearby. Afterwards we’ll all finish the night at another church for hot chocolate and reindeer games before each church heads home. We’ll basically be covering our entire district from 2-10pm. One of the kidmin leaders was even able to secure a grant to provide for the food items for the food boxes. Yeah, we’re better together.

Who are you sharing life and ministry with?

“One of the factors of the most resilient is meaningful relationships.” David Kinnaman, President of Barna Group, from a 2019 Catalyst talk, “Faith for Exiles”

A Children’s Ministry colleague working on her masters in ministry contacted me last week inviting me to answer several questions for her Family Ministry class. I was honored. She was patient to give me a couple of days so I thought I’d share my responses here:

1. How do you/your church support families today?
• We use a closed Facebook group to offer daily interaction for encouragement, resource, and information such as #mondaymantra (related to christian life) #tuesdaytruth (scripture) #wednesdaywisdom (Godly parenting) #thursdaythoughts (family blog about challenges & Sunday school lesson from previous week) #familyfriday (positive message/practical ideas of spending time together as a family to start the weekend) #saturdaysmiles (encouragement to gather together for church) #welovesundays (list of what’s happening all day and when at church).
• Parenting With A Purpose initiative – 1.5 hour dessert events for parents or parents & kids with the goal of providing practical tools as well as building tribes among our families to travel through life
* Sharing Your Faith With Your Family – practical ideas to live out Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (I facilitate) with book takeaway
* Parenting Technology & Cell Phone Safety – invited outside facilitator with book takeaway ‘Screens and Teens’ by Kathy Koch, PhD
* Parenting Relationships & Friendships – invite pastoral and counseling staff to facilitate practical communication tools and actions for critical and crucial conversations within the family using Holy Listening Stones, Counseling Center-led conversational role-play, and book takeaway Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
• Faith Milestones for students and parents
*Kindergarten I Can Go To Sunday school on Sunday 7/28
*K5 & 1st Grade Bread & Juice Class 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 11/6
*1st & 2nd Grades I Can Pray on Wednesday 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 2/12
*2nd & 3rd Grades I Love My Church 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 3/18
*4th-5th Grades Camp Glisson Fall Retreat 9/6-8
*Ambassadors 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 10/9
*5th Grade Rock Solid Retreat 1/25-26, 2020
*5th & 6th Grades Wonderfully Made 2/27-29, 2020
• Weekly devotion emailed to all families involved in our Recreation Ministry. When kids tell the ‘Bible point of the week’ to the concession stand, kids receive a small treat or discount on concessions like popcorn or beverages

2. Families are busier than ever these days and find less time to come to church? Are you able to bring church outside the walls of the physical building?
• Closed Facebook Groups lets us reach out to families online daily (notes above) for Kids and Recreation Ministries
• Lead chapel assemblies to local home school co-ops.
• Backpack blessings of food for weekends with local Elementary School and Middle School with printed material through out Missions Team.
• Tutoring ministries with local Elementary School and Middle School.
• Postcards and note writing each week
• Ministry of presence to show up at their game, play, performance, concert, goes to the movies, activities in the community, etc.

3. What is the most successful thing or program that you have done in family ministry? Faith Field Trips and annual Promotion Sundays

4. Have you tried anything that was not successful? Oh yeah…movie nights. I’ve learned that if families can do things at home, they typically don’t want to go through the trouble of coming to church to do it.

5. Any insights or advice?
• Ask a lot of questions before trying things of the connectors in your church and those who are just as involved in the community as they are at church. Many years ago, I offered an Angel Breakfast on the first Saturday in Advent promoting it for two months ahead of time among our families and no one thought to tell me the local elementary school was doing the same thing on the same day at the same time. Ugh!
• Have lots of side conversations with parents all the time at events, meals (never plan to eat…work the room!), even Christmas Caroling: When do your kids have to get up in the morning to get on the bus? What time do your kids have to go to bed during the school year? What do y’all do in the summer? When do you have nothing going on in your calendar? How far do you live from the church? What do your family traditions looks like for Christmas? Easter? Thanksgiving? Mother’s Day? Father’s Day?
• Write 5 notes each week: 3 kids, 2 volunteers…and make 3 phone calls each week: 2 volunteers, 1 family or 2 families & 1 volunteer to check in and see how they’re doing in life. Build relationships and share life.

This was a good exercise to get my thoughts together on paper, and do some evaluating. What would your answers look like?

“Without a good question, a good answer has no place to go.” Clayton Christensen

Without a vocal nap or recovery time, my voice only lasts so long. This last weekend was the perfectly awesome and glorious storm: 3rd-5th grade SPARK retreat at Camp Glisson shared with 350 of our North Georgia best friends laughing, singing, talking, and more; CLUB345 gathering two hours after our return from retreat; Acolyte Training class for the fabulous 3rd graders who want to serve in worship. Our leaders are amazing and they do most of the talking, driving, small-grouping, game-coaching, retrieving flashlights and all. I just can’t be quiet and I LOVE their company. So I woke up on Monday with absolutely no voice. Nothing. Nada. With only a whisper, I spent the day online and texting. I missed my small group as well as our monthly children’s ministry networking lunch on Monday because I didn’t have the self-control to stay quiet.

So the day was filled with random thoughts and sweet memories like these:

Borrowing two catapults and a 10-foot-tall cardboard Goliath, both girls and boys are all-in to try new things. We are better together to share ministry tools and hearts partnering with other churches. The catapults and slingshots shooting dog food in the parking lot are sticky memories when teaching the life of David and how God can and will use a kid if that kid is willing and all-in. So grateful we tell kids, “Your home church wants to help you GROW in your all-in-faith.”

Acolyte training has been led by this amazing couple for more than 15 years and they are still at it. Giving fire to little people to carry in and fire to little people to carry out of worship takes huge levels of trust. It tells our kids, “Your church trusts you. Your church believes in you. Your church invites you to be an active part of the Body of Christ here in your home church.” So grateful we tell kids, “Your home church invites you to SERVE.”

Watching our students carry yellow fabric up to the stage area on the first night of worship at retreat (provided by our Tucker First UMC friends’ church closet), they walked and worked together to accomplish a task with no other direction than, “Take this upfront together and set it as an offering to the space.” I also saw them dance, sign language, pray, cheer, motions, sing, jump, “AMEN” the speaker, all in full-participation-worship. So grateful we let our kids WORSHIP the God of all creation in developmentally appropriate ways.

On the ride home from retreat, the children wrote down on paper and role-played how they would answer their parents when asked, “How was the retreat?” I got a glimpse of what they were thinking and what they took away from their experiences. Their response to share with their parents should include (1) Who did you meet and what did you learn about them? (2) What did you do that you’ve never done before? (3) What did you learn? So grateful we let our kids TELL their stories.

Walks through the creek, scones and devotions at the falls (provided by our Acworth UMC friends), platform jumps into the lake, flashlight-sharing, star-gazing, hikes to the cabin, stories read at night (girls cabin), talks through the first-night-home-sickness (boys cabin), seat mates, bunk mates, family style meals, and cheering one another on and overcoming our fears at the big swing make for deeper friendships, shared sacred memories, and tons of stories. So grateful these friendships impress on the hearts of our kids, “We are family and we are in this life together, fearfully and wonderfully made. This is where you BELONG.”

Lord, let me always look for ways to intentionally invite your kids to grow, serve, worship, tell, and belong. Thank you for the memories filled with YOUR voice and not my own. Thank you, Lord!