With the goal of building tribes among our children’s families with shared values and intentionality, we’ve begun offering Parenting with a Purpose classes this school year. The 90-minute classes include a parenting hot-topic, some dessert, discussion time, and no judgment.  The first was Sharing Your Faith With Your Family where we shared practical ideas for holding sacred conversations, spiritual traditions, and sticky faith-formation memories for parents to initiate at home to live out Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

The second class entitled, Parenting Technology and Cell Phone Safety, invited parents, grandparents, and caregivers of children to a discussion of practical ideas to navigate parenting in a digital and electronic world as we lead families to live out Mark 12:30-31. Two hours before the event, I received a text. Our planned special guest was at Urgent Care diagnosed with strep throat. I had two hours to pull something together.

Once I caught my breath, I called on a prayer warrior to pray for me and with me. I had been reading several books on the very subject over the last several months and had just gotten one in the mail a couple of days before. I prepared a handout with a few of the items I’d underlined in each one. We opened with “What was your first experience with a cell phone?” and our discussions took over from there. These were the resources we spoke through:

• Collin Kartchner – TEDxTalk a social media activist, TEDx talk presenter, husband and dad who travels around the country speaking to parents and kids through the organization Save The Kids.
• The Screens and Teens by Dr.Kathy Koch
• Glow Kids by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras
• Viral Parenting by Mindy McKnight 
• Kirk Cameron – Right Now Media “Engage”; Netflix “Connect”
• Smart Phone Sanity by The Axis Team (newest book with practical exercises)

A few questions to ask to find out if your child is mature enough to figure out the best habits for themselves when it comes to Smartphone usage:

• Does my child proactively let me know where they are going and when they’ll be home?
  This is a great way to gauge their sense of responsibility and the respect they have for open communication.
• Does my child have a tendency to lose things?
  Phones are an expensive investment and showing a sense of care for their personal belongings means they’ll also show care for their phone.
• Does my child respect other rules like when to turn off the TV or computer?
  Knowing your child understands why boundaries are necessary can help quiet the fear of phone addiction and over exposure to radiation/blue light.
• Does my child show signs of empathy towards their siblings, animals and friends?
  While we all love our little darlings, it’s important to observe the way they treat others in real life. The hope is that they will carry empathy and kindness with them with their online activities.
• Does my child know that while most people are awesome, there are people with bad intentions that prey on the young online? 
  While this is a super scary and complicated topic, having open and honest conversation about these risks and how to spot red flags is the best way to prepare any child from online predators.
• Does my child know they can come talk to me about anything? 
  While there are years when teens and parents can feel the strain of communication we must let our children know and show them that we can be a safe space for them when they need us, to help or just to listen—even with the tricky and scary stuff.

Though not what I had planned, the event was fine. The goal of tribe-building without judgement was met. In complete transparency, this is the second time a special guest committed to me in the last six months, but was not able to follow through at the last minute. From this point on, I’ll prepare a backup program every time because my parents who have registered see these opportunities as a priority over all the other things they could choose. They deserve the best I have to offer and my job is to make sure they get it.

“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” Proverbs 19:21

A Children’s Ministry colleague working on her masters in ministry contacted me last week inviting me to answer several questions for her Family Ministry class. I was honored. She was patient to give me a couple of days so I thought I’d share my responses here:

1. How do you/your church support families today?
• We use a closed Facebook group to offer daily interaction for encouragement, resource, and information such as #mondaymantra (related to christian life) #tuesdaytruth (scripture) #wednesdaywisdom (Godly parenting) #thursdaythoughts (family blog about challenges & Sunday school lesson from previous week) #familyfriday (positive message/practical ideas of spending time together as a family to start the weekend) #saturdaysmiles (encouragement to gather together for church) #welovesundays (list of what’s happening all day and when at church).
• Parenting With A Purpose initiative – 1.5 hour dessert events for parents or parents & kids with the goal of providing practical tools as well as building tribes among our families to travel through life
* Sharing Your Faith With Your Family – practical ideas to live out Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (I facilitate) with book takeaway
* Parenting Technology & Cell Phone Safety – invited outside facilitator with book takeaway ‘Screens and Teens’ by Kathy Koch, PhD
* Parenting Relationships & Friendships – invite pastoral and counseling staff to facilitate practical communication tools and actions for critical and crucial conversations within the family using Holy Listening Stones, Counseling Center-led conversational role-play, and book takeaway Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
• Faith Milestones for students and parents
*Kindergarten I Can Go To Sunday school on Sunday 7/28
*K5 & 1st Grade Bread & Juice Class 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 11/6
*1st & 2nd Grades I Can Pray on Wednesday 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 2/12
*2nd & 3rd Grades I Love My Church 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 3/18
*4th-5th Grades Camp Glisson Fall Retreat 9/6-8
*Ambassadors 5:45-6:30pm on Wednesday 10/9
*5th Grade Rock Solid Retreat 1/25-26, 2020
*5th & 6th Grades Wonderfully Made 2/27-29, 2020
• Weekly devotion emailed to all families involved in our Recreation Ministry. When kids tell the ‘Bible point of the week’ to the concession stand, kids receive a small treat or discount on concessions like popcorn or beverages

2. Families are busier than ever these days and find less time to come to church? Are you able to bring church outside the walls of the physical building?
• Closed Facebook Groups lets us reach out to families online daily (notes above) for Kids and Recreation Ministries
• Lead chapel assemblies to local home school co-ops.
• Backpack blessings of food for weekends with local Elementary School and Middle School with printed material through out Missions Team.
• Tutoring ministries with local Elementary School and Middle School.
• Postcards and note writing each week
• Ministry of presence to show up at their game, play, performance, concert, goes to the movies, activities in the community, etc.

3. What is the most successful thing or program that you have done in family ministry? Faith Field Trips and annual Promotion Sundays

4. Have you tried anything that was not successful? Oh yeah…movie nights. I’ve learned that if families can do things at home, they typically don’t want to go through the trouble of coming to church to do it.

5. Any insights or advice?
• Ask a lot of questions before trying things of the connectors in your church and those who are just as involved in the community as they are at church. Many years ago, I offered an Angel Breakfast on the first Saturday in Advent promoting it for two months ahead of time among our families and no one thought to tell me the local elementary school was doing the same thing on the same day at the same time. Ugh!
• Have lots of side conversations with parents all the time at events, meals (never plan to eat…work the room!), even Christmas Caroling: When do your kids have to get up in the morning to get on the bus? What time do your kids have to go to bed during the school year? What do y’all do in the summer? When do you have nothing going on in your calendar? How far do you live from the church? What do your family traditions looks like for Christmas? Easter? Thanksgiving? Mother’s Day? Father’s Day?
• Write 5 notes each week: 3 kids, 2 volunteers…and make 3 phone calls each week: 2 volunteers, 1 family or 2 families & 1 volunteer to check in and see how they’re doing in life. Build relationships and share life.

This was a good exercise to get my thoughts together on paper, and do some evaluating. What would your answers look like?

“Without a good question, a good answer has no place to go.” Clayton Christensen

According to Barna Group research published in March 2019 entitled Who Is Responsible For Children’s Faith Formation, “In this and several other studies with Christian parents, our research has found that they crave guidance on how to educate and form their children, knowing that they are growing up in a world that is far more secular than their own childhood. Parents want to hear from their pastors on this issue,” Hempell continues. “Church leaders have the opportunity to develop a unique community for faith formation by bringing parents, school administrators and faith leaders together in partnerships for faith development. This is the basis for intentionally equipping parents through events such as Moving On Up to Middle School.

Moving on Up to Middle School is a dessert and panel discussion for 5th graders AND their parents offered the last week of April. Promotion language sounded like this:

Initial communication: McEachern Memorial UMC wants to help your family navigate this big move to middle school with confidence, information, and tools for success. 5th grade students AND parents are invited for dessert to a panel discussion and Q&A on Tuesday, April 30 6:30-8pm in the lower level of the Christian Life Center room ***
Free childcare will be provided for siblings by ***.  Please RSVP for parents and 5th graders at ****.

Secondary communication: Get a free copy of Viral Parenting, get some questions answered, satisfy your sweet tooth, and enjoy some laughter at tomorrow’s Moving On Up To Middle School dessert and panel discussion event for 5th graders and their parents. Free childcare for siblings by emailing ***. Register at ***

Students and parents were invited to write down questions on index cards and get dessert. At 6:50 we played a game of how to work a combination lock. We found colorful dual combination locks with the same combination so they could help one another…we are better together. Panel discussion began at 7pm. At 7:30-45 (or when the questions were finished, students would sit knee-to-knee with their parents and discuss some items based on the questions/discussion. For example: “What does helping with homework look like to you?”, “How can I let you know that I need to talk?”, and “What if I mess up?” We dismissed at 7:55pm with a benediction and prayer.

The panel included our Youth Ministry Director, a middle school teacher, a dad with a middle school boy and a mom with a middle school girl who are navigating middle school with healthy success. Thank you notes for the panel were attached to a box of Sour Patch Kids. We chose not to take questions from the floor to ensure students nor parents would be put in unflattering, uncomfortable, or judgmental spots.  One of the main goals in offering these educational events is to engage in successful and healthy conversations between kids and their parents.

Other parent-equipping opportunities which have taken place in the last 4 months included Wonderfully Made: Loved By God, John Rosemond spoke during a Sunday school shared event, and various Faith Milestone events for the lower grades. The sacred and courageous conversations have begun. This research affirms we are moving in the right direction. We’re already preparing for opportunities to offer this fall: Cell Phone Safety, Sharing Your Faith With Your Family, Will You Be My Friend?: Healthy Relationships, and more.

Testimony: I instructed students I’d give them a Combination Lock for a question written on an index card for the panel to discuss. They began writing furiously. Without instruction they struggled. Thinking they would work together, they did not, but rather continued to struggle. I let them struggle. After 5 minutes, I asked the students to hand the locks over to their parents. Hearing the clicking of opened locks all over the room, the kids were amazed, looking at their parents with pride and admiration. This was a great way to begin as they now saw how their parents knew more than they thought and would help them ‘unlock’ a whole lot more.

Note: Viral Parenting is one of the latest books to be published specifically for parents and caregivers on navigating boundary setting and living with a cell phone in a social media world. I then cautioned them on reading any book passively. Though the authors are part of a faith community, it is not a faith-based book. There is a section toward the end of the book when the author talks about their family attending church and faith-based education. Which is good info. However, they then share that though the reader may not have or believe in the Lord, they can still find hope elsewhere. I shared with my audience of 5th graders and their parents as followers of Jesus, we do NOT believe that. Our hope is ONLY in the Lord Jesus Christ. Sally Clarkson, Author of Book Girl, which advocates for the transforming power of a reading life speaks to reading everything with a discerning filter: Because stories engage my imagination and heart on a deep level, I am aware of the fact that what I encounter on their pages will teach me how to see the world, and this is why I’ve had to learn to practice discernment. (pg 9)

How else are you training and equipping parents to lead their children so they “grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man?” (Luke 2:52)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4

A colleague lent to me last June, Get Their Name: Grow Your Church by Building New Relationships authored by Bob Farr, Doug Anderson, and Kay Kotan. I’m just now getting around to reading it. I confess, because she’s asked for it back.

It’s a fantastic little book offering practical steps to sharing faith, building healthy, spiritual relationships, and growing a healthy church. Once I read, “The average UMC (United Methodist Church) member invites someone to come to church once every 38 years,” I couldn’t put the book down.

Simply put, they present evangelism in the following levels:

Elementary Evangelism is meeting new people through service…handing out water bottles, cleaning up a park, and being intentional about “adding the Good Word to your deeds.” Good deeds are merely good deeds if not sharing the why “We want to share God’s love with you because God’s love is available to everyone, including you.”

Middle School Evangelism is sharing life and faith through small groups with people you already know. Middle schoolers rarely step outside their comfort groups, but will do most anything in a small group.

High School Evangelism is sharing your faith through testimony of recent experiences for the building up of the persons around you. You want to share your story where you are safe for the sole purposes of offering hope to those listening.

College Evangelism is inviting others to worship who you do not know. In college, I recall inviting and being invited often to group gatherings and events on campus simply because we were within earshot.

The authors go on to share that until we are confident in giving testimony, most are fearful of inviting others to church. And when was the last time that testimonies were shared in the worship setting or even in the Sunday school setting? It’s been my experience that we are more about taking in more general information and spitting it back out, rather than learning how to tell our story or His story over the last week. I was challenged early in my walk that when asked “Why God?” my story can’t begin, “Well…when I was 10 years old…” My testimony should be no older than the bread in my breadbox.

The goal is to begin “real conversations with real people to build real relationships that lead to a real experience with Jesus Christ in the gathered community.”

The challenge: Have I built in enough margin, extra white space, in my day to make a new friend? Or am I so caught up in going to the next thing that I can’t make time to be interested in new people; making sure to concentrate on the other person’s story; building trust in who they are; making sure my questions are about them; resisting making the conversation about me and my story?

The authors were kind enough to lay out steps of how to begin a conversation with someone I don’t know because, “People looking for a faith community are not looking for friendly people, but for friends.”

As in Adam Hamilton’s Leading Beyond the Walls, we’d do well to offer a short (two-minute elevator story) response to the following 3 questions:

1. Why God? “God has been active in my life from when I was a kid and has always wanted good for me, but my free will is alive and active within me…Most of the bad that has happened in my life is because of choices made for me or those I’ve made on my own when I am not paying attention to the life lessons taught in the Scriptures…My church gives me the relationships and support to keep my free will on track.”

2. Why Church? “God has designed us to experience energy when we participate in community…God is best and most easily experienced in the faith community….We are the bridge to the gathered community….Then the Holy Spirit can do the heavy lifting.”

3. Why My Church? “God has designed us to experience energy when we participate in community….we need a gathered experience…we need to feel the win…going in the same direction….cheering for the same result…in the company of others with a spirit of “YES!””

A few statements stopped me in my tracks:

• “97% of all newcomers to a church have had a major life transition in the last two months.” (From The Race to Reach Out by Douglas T Anderson & Michael J. Coyner) Everyone has a story. Little do we know what life transition will bring someone through the doors.  Am I asking questions with genuine curiosity to learn another’s story?
• “The #1 roadblock for connected people inviting unconnected people to worship is that they are not confident in the guest experience.”  This is where radical hospitality comes in. Where our hospitality is going beyond expectation, beyond the average, beyond what we’ve always done, beyond the typical Sunday morning handshake experience.
• “Guests arrive early or late, but rarely on time.  Be prepared.”  Think guest, not a visitor (when was the last time I had a visitor in my home…never…I have guests).

I’m going to start asking questions of the people I DO know at my church and the ones I DON’T. It’s the beginning of sharing testimony.  And I’m ready to make some new friends in the Lord.

Lord, let me not just be friendly, but be willing and build in life-space to make new friends in the Lord.  Amen

Thanks, Cindy…you can have your book back now.

In continuing this season of blogging about Sharing Your Faith With Your Family, Stormie Omartian, author of The Power of a Praying Parent, and The Power of a Praying Wife, shares that “Things happen when we pray that will not happen when we don’t.” Pray for your family to have a bold and true faith, then good health. Lift up their friends, their enemies, their opportunities, and then their safety. Ask the LORD to pour out self-control, resilience, and a fine sense of humor. And pray for their judgment, their teachers, and wisdom in handling simple and complicated life situations.

Some other ideas about prayer . . .Use a salt or sugar packet on the car dash or over the sink to pray for someone. It always gets my kids asking, “Who’s that for?” . . . pray for your kids’ teachers during the summer that he/she would have the best teacher chosen by God for them specifically and then whoever you get, you’ll know that he/she was hand-picked by God for your child. Invite your kids to pray for their teachers all year long . . . Pray for favor in the eyes of their teachers and that they’d have good communications with them.

My all-time favorite tweener prayer was that God would “put a Holy Spirit alarm in my child that goes off like a loud, flashing siren whenever he/she steps over the line of what is right in your sight, O Lord.”

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children…”

Another positive routine in sharing your faith with your family is to teach and practice the holy habit of tithing with your kids. In our first worship service at our home church, the pastor shared in his sermon that “tithing is a holy habit.”

When our kids were little, they dropped a quarter we would give them every time the offering plate was passed and they saw us put in our envelope or check. Later, when they began making their own money (Baby Girl babysitting and #1 Son mowing lawns,) we taught them how to divvy up their money before it was earned and church was always first.

I happened to come across a journal entry the other day where I wrote, “’#1 Son’s first true tithe today $1 from $10 earned mowing the Carroll’s lawn yesterday.” He was so excited that when they brought up the baskets, he leaned in to whisper, “My money is in there for God.” When I asked him about it the other day, he shared that it makes him happy and a part of something greater than himself that his money is in there.

Did they always want to do it? Probably not, but they have both seen God do “His thing” for their faithfulness. God makes Himself very real in the eyes and heart of a child when holy habits are begun when they are young.

Baby Girl and #1 Son practiced this holy habit when they were young and as they grew older and made more money, it was very natural to tithe and support their local church first. It’s part of their lifestyle today.

Andy Stanley said, “Being a percentage giver ensures God’s kingdom is funded before mine.”

We couldn’t agree more.

My current pastor gently corrected a colleague recently when she referred to our servant-leaders as ‘volunteers.’ PTA recruits volunteers. We recruit servant-leaders.  Most of my conversations with colleagues at other churches revolve around building their servant-leader team. Anyone else feel like a new church start? Yep, we all do!

I had a great conversation with a new-to-director Children’s Ministry champion last week and we chatted through several ideas:

Open House – Invite all kids and their parents/grandparents to a 30 minute open house after a Sunday service. Build it up, think sandwich boards worn by kids to promote. Post jumbo post-its on the walls in the kid’s area with “Sunday Morning”, “Hospitality”, “CLUB345”, “Missions”, and “Special Events” with cups of crayons below each one. Pull a Vanna White sharing a 1 minute elevator pitch in front of each one inviting those in attendance, “If you’d like more information about >>>, write your name and email/phone number on this post-it note (their choice for how to be contacted), and our team will get back to you.” Every 10 minutes, play a game of rock, paper, scissors for prizes OR pull carnival tickets for $5 RaceTrac/QT gift cards for tasty beverages. Prizes for kids AND adults in attendance. End in a fun interactive prayer and make those phone calls by week’s end.  Lots of energy, music (bluetooth speaker, even), and have your kid’s space shine!

Chill & Chat  or Taco ‘Bout – Promote this 1.5-2 hour event as a time to ‘get more information’ about the church’s ministry with kids/families.  Put up the jumbo post-it notes with similar headings as above and offer  a similar 1 minute elevator pitch followed by inviting someone in the room to share a story about their experience in that area. Lots of other voices will be telling great stories. Offer a take-away book with some meat to it that speaks to how the ministry will support them as parents, grandparents, etc.. Your current servant-leaders are your best recruiters so give time for some general chatting. Follow up with thank you notes to everyone who attends and especially those who shared a story. Offer a tour of the spaces, too. I have Ambassadors take care of this part. This is also where parents/grandparents get the first-look at what’s coming in the ministry for the upcoming season or school year.

Mission Field – Bring a suitcase and visit an adult Sunday school class. Say, “This is what I know about you. As a Christian you always wanted to be a missionary.  But you had to work, had little people, or maybe were taking care of big people. Perhaps now is the time. What if I were to offer you a 1-year gig (big hairy ask!) and you wouldn’t have to take shots and you could sleep in your own bed? Would you consider it? Being a missionary, I mean?” Give pause. Say, “I’m asking you and a friend to serve as a missionary, one month on and one month off, to serve in the mission field of children’s ministry on Sunday morning for 1 year.”  “I ask for you and a friend because Jesus never sent our his disciples one at a time, but in pairs or threes or up to 70 to do what He asked, and He asks in the scriptures for us to lead the littles to Him.” Oh, and come bearing goodies by bringing a box of biscuits or donuts along with the suitcase.

Church Committee Meetings – Find out when the Trustees, Staff-Parish Relations, and Finance Committees are meeting next. Leave a box of yummy goodies, a bowl of ice, cold water bottles, you get the idea. Add a note or picture signed by kids in your ministry inviting one (and a friend…see above) to serve together at an upcoming event, or say THANK YOU for making the ministry possible by the decisions they make. It will delight them to know you appreciate their hard work of ministry, too.

Lord, Who? Prayers – Write Lord, who? on your car windshield with a sharpie and as you drive pray for a name to reach out one-on-one. One-on-one invites are the best and really should be done all the time.  Whoever the Lord gives you, make contact. Don’t’ talk yourself out of it. You never know how the Lord is working in that person’s life and they are just waiting for the invite to do something about it.

Youth Milestone – If you have access to your church’s youth group, make serving in Children’s Ministry a faith milestone of one month on and one month off for a year. Make them jump through the hoops necessary for training and equipping so they are aware of the expectations to be a great servant-leader. This is first-job training kind of stuff. Talk to them about what they’re doing well. You can talk to them about how they can do something better. Speak into their lives the opportunity to serve others well and with excellence and be sure to tell them WHY something is important. Remind them they’ll need reference letters for jobs and college program applications in the future and you can help them with that.

Faith Milestones and Grandparents – Faith Milestones are those once a year special events which mark a remarkable season of life with a spiritual training like Bread & Juice, I Can Pray, Acolyte, I Love My Church and the like. We require our students to have an adult with them at most Faith Milestones. If that adult is a grandparent, that grandparent is all-in to support and join in sharing sacred experiences. I will always reach out the next week to invite him/her to serve at something their grand might participate in.

“We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” Romans 12:5

Everything I’ve ever done effectively has been within the community of a small group. From the local PTA to Bible study to my accountability group, I’m a better wife, mother, employee, coach, citizen, disciple of Jesus because of the efforts of sharing life in small groups. This is beyond chatting around a table. I’m talking REALLY sharing a season of life as friends-in-the-Lord or people-in-community-with-a-shared-goal. Though Jesus started the gospel of Matthew with a large group at the Sermon on the Mount, it’s what was discussed and wrestled to the ground in small group that made the content come to life, over time.

The most recent research coming out is telling us that the days of stadium preaching the gospel is giving way to sharing the gospel life in small groups. We can get great preaching and teaching beyond the 11am Sunday sanctuary ‘in our hands’ and ‘in our earbuds’, but small groups in our backyards, front porches, and parking lots is going to be the place to be for the local church’s message of the gospel to be effective as invitational, hospitable, relational, and necessary to grow in Godly wisdom and pass on our faith in Christ. It may be old school, but the local churches doing it well with systems and pre-discipleship will be schooling the ones who don’t.

I’m not responsible for small groups in my local church. I’m not even on the team that gets to have those conversations. So what can I do knowing a healthy small group system is effective ministry in my local church? I can have face-to-face conversations in the hallway, at the lunch table, and online before-hand. I toss out ideas and start conversations and ask questions. I’m interested in how others are keeping their minds on Jesus. I pray the Lord will let me show interest in how others are ‘small grouping’ in their context and within my own local church. I consider this pre-discipleship.

Pre-discipleship is walking directly into the obstacles and hurdles that stand in the way of the disciples of Jesus who want to grow in their faith in community, but are unable to because they’ve already decided their family commitments by the time we tell them what we’re doing.  Just because we announce it won’t make it a win. Christianity is fundamentally a text-based religion based on an historical event: Jesus Christ rose from the dead. Everything else we wrestle with, think about, discuss, practice, respond, experiment in devotional practices so that we grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man in community guided by the Holy Spirit. Yeah, but how do we fit it all in?

James Bryan Smith writes in The Good and Beautiful Life, “We live at the mercy of what we think about. What we think, determines how we live.” My families have way too much consuming their minds, but we can help if we prepare the way in pre-discipleship. Recalling the Bible account of the boy and his lunch feeding the 5,000 by the hands of Jesus, it was the boy’s Mama who prepared the way by making his lunch that morning.

Okay, enough about the why and the fruitfulness. Here are a few thoughts on how to keep the pre-discipleship conversations going….

Make it convenient – Think of ten people you’d like to know better and begin asking, “Hey, I’d like to spend more time getting to know you. If you were to be in a small group this fall, are days or evenings more convenient for you? I’m not asking you for a commitment right now, just trying to figure out what is the best timing for you.”

Make it relevant – What’s happening right now?

1.  The Chosen TV series – This series is free on my phone with The Chosen app, I can throw it on my Roku tv for the family from my phone, and Season 1 is on DVD. For those folks who don’t like that it’s not ‘true to the Bible’ in every scene, remember that it’s not a documentary. But IT WILL start some great conversations with anybody no matter where they are on their journey. It’s a great story! Our culture is made up of image-driven beings and we can use this well-done resource for some powerful conversations. They’ve put out an interactive Bible study on season 1 which has some great discussion questions. In the words of one of my local church saints, “Three good discussion questions make for a fabulous small group.” Families could watch the episode on their own, then come together for sacred conversation.  Intergenerational conversations. Another local church I know is doing this and rotating homes, locations, for a summer ‘pop-in’ small group. This could easily be rolled out church-wide.
2. Current sermon series – If your clergy team provides a sermon series, it’s low-hanging fruit to pull the livestream section from the YouTube channel and provide three good discussion questions on both social media and in-person. It’ll get the whole church talking about the series. Kidmin champions can locate an already-done-well video clip to make the content more developmentally appropriate for the littles and again, easy inclusion for intergenerational sacred conversations and makes mom and dad or grandparents the best sacred coaches.
3. Think of an August or September start up to the time change for your season. When the time changes, it’s dark earlier and it takes everyone longer to get from point A to point B. I live in the Greater Atlanta area so factoring in time and traffic are constant considerations.

Make it a partnership for a season – Plan to co-lead a small group. You’ll make a new friend or enjoy a deeper friendship with an old friend. Then, don’t take over! Be a full-on participant, but with keys. Count to 10 before you jump in. Listen a lot. Ask more questions than make statements. Support the small group by making room reservations and promoting it like you’re recruiting for VBS. I’ve discovered that when people are personally invited to be in your small group, your small group will either have enough to make OR you’ll learn why it won’t (inconvenient day/time, too long, too short, the subject matter isn’t relevant right now no matter how good the material is.)

With post-COVID culture, I’ve pulled out Chris Surratt’s Small Groups For The Rest Of Us: How to design your small-groups system to reach the fringes from Next Leadership Network. If ever there was a time to reach the fringes, it’s now.

“Everyone needs community, and we have to make it easy for them to find it.” – Chris Surratt, Small Groups For the Rest of Us

I was being debriefed by a very knowledgeable facilitator a couple of weeks ago. As she introduced herself to me I discovered she was a clergy spouse, incredibly experienced  and accomplished in the hospitality field, and the church she served did not have a ministry with children. Hmmmm…

I hope I get to speak with her again, because the innovator in me just started jotting down ideas for how they could begin a ministry to the families and children in their community. 

If they have a parking lot, what if they secured some orange barrels or cones and offered driving lessons? Our home church had a large parking lot. When they realized parents were bringing their new drivers on campus for driving practice, they purchased a couple of tall orange cones and set them out in the parking lot. Those cones moved all over as helps for parallel parking and the like.

What if her church notified a local driving school and offered to do a blessing of the driver’s license twice a year? What if a part of a Sunday service was to bless driver’s licenses? What if they offered parking practice and even a vehicle to some single parents from 10am-12noon on the first Saturday of the month even if just in the parking lot? With the parking lot, what if they offered to the local businesses or schools a place for meeting, overflow parking, emergency evacuation?  

Because she is incredibly accomplished in hospitality, what if she offered a social class in interviewing, service, hospitality, courtesy, speech, writing, completing an application, meet & greet etiquette, etiquette, dressing for success? What if she contacted the local elementary, middle, or high school counselors to coordinate a space for hospitality skills or offered her ministry of presence on a career day? What if the church promoted a special 1.5 hour hospitality workshop with her as the headliner for parents and their students at a meet and greet with her and list her credentials in the hospitality industry? She’s a woman of faith and highly successful in her field. What a gift to share these skills with students preparing to make their way in the world through a filter of faith in Jesus!

She shared that her husband is a musician. What if he offered introductory music lessons as a group where he could share a Bible story or a simple reading from a children’s Bible of the many ways music is spoken of in the scriptures? 

There are so many opportunities for children and their families to be welcomed on a church campus besides Sunday morning to begin relationships and live out, “We are your good neighbor, we want to help you along your way.” 

We are not event planners nor are we event venues, so we must insist on intentional faith formation elements which are developmentally appropriate. We won’t miss the opportunity for faith formation when someone from the church family welcomes, hosts, and leads.  We can be good neighbors and give real testimony to the goodness of God by making our presence known and sharing the skills and gifts of our church family with our community. 

What if we became places where the community learns about Jesus as they learn to bake bread, budget, shop, change a tire, talk car parts, use power tools, how to be a grill master, and garden/grow stuff out of the dirt? A vegetable garden, a flower garden? What skills does your church family know and then make it a matter of prayer to be willing to share it? All of our church saints are incredibly skilled and experienced in various areas of vocation and accomplishment. What if we figured out what we have in our hands, then put it out there? It’s almost like giving your saints the chance to serve in the mission field without packing a suitcase and they can still sleep in their own beds.

Most church locations have the spaces and resources for these things. Did you know that the likelihood of a girl being taken advantage of goes down to a non-existent level once she learns how to use a power tool? Did you know that good manners can get a young person’s foot in the door faster than anything else? Did you know that the milestones of driving, cooking, budgeting are all elements of service which are not taught in the local schools and most parents don’t even know where to start but are extensions of Biblical hospitality? All of these could be one-and-dones or part of a series over the course of a couple of years. Have a couple, debrief, then edit the next two to excellence based on what you learn works and doesn’t. I’m not talking about a Broadway production, just a space and a Jesus guy/gal who shares their story and His story with a young person.

Rather than say, “We don’t have a ministry to children,” could we say, “We do!” because of God’s people, their skills, and experiences, out of a place of abundance and gratitude for what God has made available and are part of your local church family of faith? Ministry may not look like what we think and that’s what makes it innovative. Nothing needs to look like what we already have in our heads. Let’s invite the Holy Spirit to use what’s in our hands and watch Him show up and show off.

All this could be promoted on Facebook, social media, through the local school, or Eventbrite. Include a time of testimony of sharing the leader’s story of God’s faithfulness, God’s goodness, pray with the participants, and maybe wear a t-shirt with a Christian message or scripture. 

Fleshing out things like this is what we do at the Innovation Summit. The Innovation Summit is three hours of multiple ideas and real stories of moving beyond the sea of Nos to a place of YES, YOU CAN. You will leave with confidence to wonder, negotiate, push the boundaries, and advance the good news of Jesus where you are with what is in your hand. A Zoom option is not available because each Summit is filled with ideation specific to the participants present. 

The next Innovation Summit will be held at Tucker First United Methodist Church located in Tucker, Georgia on Saturday, May 1st 9am-12noon. Register today.

We are hooked to our cell phones. Our cell phones are hooked to us. It’s replaced the GPS, camera, calculator, flashlight, the news, letter-writing, a calendar, and the home phone. It’s changed the way we do life. Good, bad or indifferent, it’s here to stay and we can admit we like it.

The latest research reports that an average person spends 2 hours and 51 minutes per day on their mobile device. 22% check their phones every few minutes and 51% look at it a few times per hour. Just take that in.

When our kids were little, before I was on a local church staff, I made Sunday morning the best day of the week. Nobody woke up to alarms, but rather breakfast in bed. The house smelled like muffins (thank you, Jiffy muffin mix) and each was accompanied by a favorite, morning, tasty beverage: coffee, tea, milk, hot chocolate. Every other day of the week could start by alarm, rushing, searching, running, on the move. But not Sunday.  I thought of it as ‘pouring out a drink offering as unto the Lord.’ This tradition continued when I went on church staff, because…well, Sundays are game day and it’s the day we prioritized to be dedicated to our family’s faith formation in partnership with the local church.

Mr. Bob and I decided early on, before I was on staff, to live out Hebrews 10:25 and had to constantly attend to guarding Sunday mornings for church. We still would participate in all sorts of non-church activities, but we knew we could not raise adults who would love the Lord with their whole hearts for their whole lives without the help of what the local church had to offer: relationships, values, teaching, practicing, and experiences in developmentally appropriate ways with other Jesus guys and gals. Today, that investment has paid off with both making attendance and involvement in their local churches a priority in each of their families.

When the pandemic hit last spring, I imagined what we could offer as an easy win for high impact effectiveness and would cover the greatest amount of territory (Prayer of Jabez). With the desire that our families not become accustomed to doing life without their local church, the cell phone was a good place and platform to love people to Jesus systematically, personally, and creatively.

For almost a year, if I received a text from someone, they’ve gotten a text from me on Sunday mornings. Not through a database, but by sitting down each Sunday morning in my quiet chair (which is not always quiet) and taking the time to reach out to them all on my cell phone. All of them.

I choose a meme, image, or scripture on Saturday evening so it’s at the top of my photo file and send a text to each person in my phone. I last counted in January for a total of 162.

I send the text. I pray for him/her. Once my phone reads, “Delivered” I send the next. Not everyone replies, but many do. I Sunday morning text with no expectation. But for those who I have not seen in over a year, it’s been a weekly check-in and the ongoing text conversations have been personal and precious.

I’m sharing this because it’s easy. It’s in your hand. Yes, it takes time, but everyone is worth the time and we know how special it makes us feel when someone texts us ‘just because.’ We are family! If I’ve gotten a text or sent a text in the last week, which builds the list, they hear from me on Sunday mornings. Just a quick reminder that, “I’m in this with you, Brother,” “I’m in this with you, Sister.”

Who’s in your hand? How are you checking in with them systematically, personally, and creatively?