Some gatherings simply fill your calendar. Others fire you up. The recent R3 Gathering for Global Methodist leaders across North and South Georgia was the second kind. R3 stands for Ruts, Roots, and Rhythms.

Hosted by the wonderful children’s ministry team who serve the families of Albany First Methodist Church, the event brought together lay leaders who serve in what we often call the second and middle seats of church leadership—those faithfully guiding ministries with children, youth, and families in the local church.

And Albany First truly were the hosts with the mostest. They are the caretakers of Camp Kirksey, a gem of a property with a huge bunk house with private chaperone rooms, a beautiful chapel, tent/RV hookups, bathhouse, dining hall, multiple playgrounds, and a fish pond.

Some attendees stayed in the camp bunkhouse (with excellent climate control and great hot water pressure), while others stayed at a nearby hotel about twenty minutes away. Everyone arrived between 3–5 p.m., gathering in the dining hall with a fun icebreaker: bring a “secret item” that represents something about who you are.

It didn’t take long before conversations were flowing.

Dinner that evening was at a local favorite Mexican restaurant in Albany, where we shared laughter and our favorite books from the past year. A few titles kept popping up around the table: Theo of Golden, novels by Kristin Hannah, and stories by Mark Sullivan.

At sunset, back at camp, the beautiful chapel was ready for worship. The Children’s Ministry team from Albany First had prepared interactive prayer stations based on Psalm 93, inviting us to move, reflect, and pray in creative ways. Worship was led by the incredibly gifted and anointed Leah George, and the space felt both peaceful and powerful.

The next morning brought a sweet surprise: a “Dunkin’ Donut angel” had delivered individual, personalized breakfast treats.

With coffee in hand—and new Global Methodist Church mugs as gifts—we began our first workshop at 9 a.m.

The theme was Ruts—but the good kind.

Think of the deep wagon ruts left by pioneer wagons. They marked a prepared trail for the pioneers who followed. In many ways, the pioneers of the Global Methodist Church are doing the same for us.

Our opening devotion came from Acts 6:1–5, a passage about the early church appointing leaders to ensure that everyone was cared for. It reminded us that much of our ministry looks like waiting tables—serving others so the apostles can devote themselves to the word and prayer and the body of Christ can flourish.

Hospitality leader Horst Schulze, co-founder of The Ritz-Carlton, described his staff as “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen.” That phrase beautifully captures our calling in ministry. We are table-setters.

We prepare the space so others can grow: placing the chairs, setting the table, arranging the salt and pepper, making sure everything is ready to welcome disciples who are learning to walk with Christ.

Another guiding passage was Ephesians 4:11–13, reminding us that leaders exist to equip the saints for the work of ministry. We are far more than event planners; we are disciple-makers who set the table.

Our discussion began with two simple questions:

• What changes have you experienced at your church since joining the Global Methodist Church?
• What do you know about the GMC so far?

Talking points included, but were not limited to:

• No more guaranteed appointments, trust clause, apportionments as we knew them
• Global Body of Christ; International Partnerships with the goal of self-sustainability
• Ministry Safe emphasis on grooming
• Book of Doctrines & Discipline: Our Guiding Reference for Order and Practice
• Laity Partnerships: multiple laity training and teaching systems already in place
• We’re here to build a new team.and design a new playbook
• Though there is no GMC publishing house, there are resources most aligned with the GMC. A robust text thread of these resources was started among the R3 participants

For some participants, this language was completely new. For others, it was encouraging to realize they don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Faithful leaders have already begun the processes and systems to build a new playbook since we now play on a new team.

Here’s the challenge many of us face: Sunday keeps coming. Ministry schedules make it hard to carve out the time needed to learn the resources already available to us. But gatherings like this remind us that we’re not meant to figure things out alone.

We’ve been invited to help build something new together. And that’s worth making time for.

The first workshop alone held far more insight than could ever fit into an email or social media post. Which is exactly why we’re already planning the next R3 Gathering.

Interestingly, everyone who attended this one came from South Georgia—even though it was open to the entire state. So here’s my hope. I would love to host an R3 Gathering in North Georgia this fall.

If you’d like to help bring this opportunity to our region, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out to me at dedereilly@comcast.net, and let’s start the conversation.

After all, when faithful pioneers leave good ruts in the road, the journey becomes a little clearer for everyone who follows.

“Your statutes, Lord, stand firm; holiness adorns your house for endless days.” Psalm 93:5

In early March, I had the joy of returning to an organization close to my heart: the Georgia Preschool Association, founded in 1958 to promote quality care and education for children eight years old and younger across the state. I began my career in Christian education as a preschool teacher, then a preschool director. These are my people! From 2004–2010, I had the privilege of serving on their board. So when they invited me back to lead a 90-minute workshop for preschool directors at their annual conference in Marietta, Georgia, my answer was an enthusiastic, “Yes!”

The room was filled with leaders serving children in many kinds of preschool settings. Not all were faith-based organizations, but most were. I shared something right up front so they would understand where I was coming from:

“I’m a professional Christian educator, which means I filter how I believe, live, and lead through a Biblical worldview.”

Our workshop title was Branding, Bridges, and Biblical Vision—three simple ideas drawn from timeless Christian practices that can guide anyone leading those who lead young children.

Along the way, I built in “chat among yourselves” moments after each section. Directors leaned in, compared notes, and shared what was working in their own communities.

Branding: Knowing Who You Are

For Christian preschools, the Apostles’ Creed offers a beautiful outline of what we believe.

Branding simply means intentionally shaping an organization’s identity so others can clearly see who you are and what you value. It gives identity clarity.

Families rarely learn your values from a brochure. They learn them from their experiences.

If your sign says church along the roadside, how long would it take someone walking through the preschool hallway to know they’re in a Christian preschool?

Clear communication of mission can happen:

• At the beginning of the year – playground meet-ups, handbook gatherings, interactive photo booths
• Throughout the year – serving together, sharing meals, blessing families in missional ways
• At the end of the year – celebrating milestones, recognizing staff and students

Branding lives in the small, repeatable actions—how milestones are marked, how families are prayed for, how stories are shared.

Strong finishes lead to strong beginnings.

Bridges: Protecting Relationships

The Ten Commandments remind us how God’s people are meant to treat one another and the priority of relationships.

Most early childhood centers and weekday preschools hosted by churches share spaces with the congregation. When preschools and churches thrive together, it’s usually because trust has been intentionally built and protected. After all, shared spaces require shared relationships and all spaces in a local church are shared spaces.

That means:

• asking and answering honest questions
• giving the benefit of the doubt; not living on the defensive
• entering conversations with collaboration instead of negotiation
• honoring one another as brothers and sisters in Christ; believing the very best of one another; modeling a Christian family with shared values and mission

Preschool directors are uniquely positioned to nurture this shared life. Simple practices go a long way: shared prayer times, family nights, ministry partnerships beyond fundraisers, and even testimony moments where people share stories of God’s goodness.

One director once gave me, the kidmin lead, the same preschool staff t-shirt she gave her team each year. It was a small gesture—but it told me we were in this ministry to families together.

Healthy communication prevents resentment and builds mutual respect. People flourish where they feel valued.

For new staff coming from school systems, shared-space ministry may be unfamiliar. That’s why these values must be part of the onboarding process with continual reminders to the paid preschool staff that the servant leaders who lead in shared spaces are supporting the preschool as a ministry of the church with their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness. We are in this together!

Biblical Vision: Remembering Why We Exist

The Lord’s Prayer models a daily rhythm of conversation with God and regular reminder of priorities and positions.

Historically, churches launched weekday preschools in the 1950s and 60s to provide nurturing education in a Christian environment, meet growing childcare needs, and reach young families with the gospel. That mission is still alive today.

What leaders repeat eventually becomes the culture.

A director’s Biblical vision answers a simple but powerful question: Why does our preschool exist in light of God’s Word?

That vision shows up everywhere—in photos on the walls, hallway signage, staff shirts, classroom symbols, and the common language people use every day.

A Final Encouragement

As our time wrapped up, I reminded these directors that their work matters deeply.

They are vision-keepers, great-idea-holders, and culture-shapers every single day.

Clarity builds confidence.
Consistency builds trust.
Faithfulness builds legacy.
Lead with intention—and watch what God does through disciple-maker leadership leading those who love littles to Jesus in your organization.

“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” Hebrews 13:17

When Allison Vandenbergh and I finally met face-to-face at last year’s New Room Conference in Birmingham, we were both completely fan-girling over each other. After years of taking online classes, summer Zoom Bible studies, and multiple digital conversations with one another, we were finally in the same room—and we talked like we were trying to make up for lost time!

Allison, an Asbury Seminary graduate, has faithfully and effectively served children and families in south Georgia since 2011. Her church was among those that joined the Global Methodist Church at the start, and like many of us, she was asking important questions:

How do we represent our new denomination well?

We are now teachers and leaders on a new team. How do we coach one another and our congregational teams to work well together representing this new denomination?

What do those of us serving from the middle and second chairs need to adjust or strengthen so we exist to make disciples of Jesus Christ and spread scriptural holiness across the globe?

In the middle of our excited conversation—probably talking over one another, grinning from ear to ear—we decided to stop wondering and start building. Right then and there, the R3 Gathering was born. We received the blessing of the leadership of both the North Georgia GMC Conference and the South Georgia GMC Conference and began sharing everywhere we could.

The R3 Gathering is for local church staff and laity serving children and families in the Global Methodist Church in Georgia. We’ll meet March 12–13, 2026, at beautiful Camp Kirksey in south Georgia for a collaborative, practical, and Spirit-led time together beginning the afternoon on Thursday through late afternoon Friday.

R3 stands for Ruts, Roots, and Rhythms.

Ruts – Think of the ruts made by the pioneer wagons that went before us since John, Charles, and even Susanna Wesley. Think playbooks, structures, policies, and systems that help us move forward as a team. Together, we’ll draft ministry playbooks tailored to our local churches—clear, actionable guides that reflect the team we’re now on.

Roots – The holy habits that ground us, expressed in the scriptures, historically practiced to abide in Jesus, set apart for His purposes on purpose. As Global Methodists, we are committed to spreading scriptural holiness. We’ll define and design developmentally appropriate faith milestones that help disciples of all ages and stages abide in Christ and grow deep, lasting roots.

Rhythms – The patterns that sustain healthy ministry. We’ll lay groundwork for professional networks, measurable effectiveness, and practical strategies that empower those serving faithfully from middle and second chairs in their local church contexts as Global Methodists.

Everything we teach, practice, and create will be immediately usable—ideas you can implement within the next week, month, or quarter. It will be practical. It will be resourced. And it will wholeheartedly support this new movement we’re grateful to call the Global Methodist Church.

And yes—we’ll worship, sing, dance, laugh, and tell stories of God’s goodness and faithfulness.
We’ll engage in prayer stations you can easily implement at home.
We’ll enjoy table life with some holy guacamole.
We’ll share resources, design together, receive some GMC swag, and most importantly, grow in Christ and in friendships with one another.

There’s still time to join us.

Register HERE and bring a friend – we can’t wait to see you.

“Your statutes, Lord, stand firm; holiness adorns your house for endless days.” Psalm 93:5

One of my amazing pastors mentioned a book in a recent staff meeting. It’s become a habit of mine to read or listen to anything our pastors mention, so I downloaded Church Is a Team Sport: A Championship Strategy for Doing Ministry Together by Jim Putman on Audible. There’s some good stuff here.

Jim Putman, a preacher’s kid who once felt disillusioned with the local church, shares how God redirected his dreams from becoming an All-American wrestler and coach to pastoring a thriving church in northern Idaho. Drawing from his background as an elite athlete and coach, he uses the language of sports to explain discipleship and leadership in a way that is clear, practical, and motivating. I especially loved the second half of the book.

One concept that stood out was the importance of a Playbook. Every winning team has one. In the church, a playbook preserves unity and direction. It clarifies who we are, how we operate, and what we prioritize. In a world where people consume endless sermons, podcasts, and algorithm-driven content, a clear playbook grounds a church family in shared philosophy and mission. Our Leadership Council just finished the task of compiling a Playbook for the church I serve. The Family Ministry Team I lead also has a Playbook with a few more ministry level processes and systems specific to ministry with children, youth, young adults, women, men, and seniors.

He also talks about recruiting team members. Great teams are always improving. Every believer has a role essential to the mission. We call the missing. We visit the sick. We pray with the hurting. And we release new leaders while coaching them relationally—with grace and intentional investment.

Then comes coaching. When an NFL draft pick joins a team, they must learn the system and language of their new team before they can execute the plays. The same is true in the church. We meet regularly to stay aligned with what “winning” looks like according to the scriptures.

At the church I serve, one way we live this out is through L3 meetings focusing on relationship-based, strategic, and high-level tactical discussions, often acting as a regular team check-in for performance, roadblocks, and collaborative decision-making.

• L1 – Loving: Where have you seen the Lord at work in your world?
• L2 – Learning: Staying teachable in our leadership—through shared training, resources, appreciation, and growth.
• L3 – Leading: Addressing team tasks, vision, dreams, and commitments.

Putman also describes coaching principles for disciple-making. We start with where people are. In sports, you assess skill level in practice and in the game. In discipleship, you watch, listen, and give space for growth as we listen for phrases from the stages of discipleship.

He outlines four discipleship phases people move through and offers lots of phrases from the phases:

Share Level – Those exploring faith or are Christian, but lacking relationships. Questions and doubts surface. Coaches help build foundational salvation understanding and holy habits.

Connect Level – People find belonging, relationships, often in small groups. Phrases include lots of “I” and “me” statements, but they are growing roots.

Minister Level – Hearts and actions begin to turn outward. They notice when someone is missing. They apply Scripture to real life and want to serve in Jesus’ name. This is where the disciple begins to see a need and desire to be part of meeting that need.

Disciple Level – Leaders who think strategically with an eternal perspective. They notice potential in others. They “catch and release,” helping move ministries and disciples forward.

The beauty of this framework is its clarity. Church really is a team sport. And when everyone knows the playbook, embraces their role, and invests in one another through sacrifice and humility, the whole team grows stronger—together.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1

Today is my birthday—a gentle reminder that time never stands still. With each passing year comes a renewed sense of urgency, a holy nudge, that God’s call on my life (just like every Christian’s) is still the same: go and make disciples.

That’s why I keep showing up to trainings and reading lots of books year after year—to keep the community fire burning, to know our Triune God more deeply and to make Him known. Because if I’m honest, it all leaks. Daily responsibilities pile up, passion can wane, the fire settles into a simmer, and these days I think a little more about napping than I did ten years ago. Turns out, building in recovery time isn’t just for Olympic athletes.

Just in the last month, I’ve seen beautiful new ways the Lord is making Himself known that I’ve gotten to be on the front lines to see His actions, hear His voice, and play in His sandbox.

Lifewise Academy Cherokee launched in mid January with 24 students, and only three weeks later the numbers continue to rise as we welcomed nearly 40 first through third graders. Each Thursday morning, during their “specials” time, we transport children in a big red bus from the largest elementary school in Cherokee County, where I live, to a nearby local church to learn the Bible. Only by the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit are doors continuing to open for Christian education to take place during the public school day. Oh the new Jesus friends I’ve met who come together each week to plan, pray, and present the Bible!

Lifewise Academy is a U.S. nonprofit organization that provides Bible education to public school students during the school day under “released time” laws. Founded in 2018 by former Ohio State football player Joel Penton, it operates as a Christian ministry offering off-campus classes with parental permission and private funding. In a neighboring county where I serve, we’ve partnered with another church to host a free community viewing of the documentary of Off School Property to keep sharing the LifeWise story on March 1st. If you love history and how we got where we are in culture and education, you’ll be fascinated. I’m the bus teacher! God is on the move.

Another joy-filled pivot came through one of our incredible teachers, Robin Glover, who was leading an art class at the county art station for adults with disabilities. When that season ended, she brought the vision to our local church. Now, once a month, we welcome adults (ages 12+) with disabilities for a student-inspired art class. Not only did her original students follow her, but new students from our side of the county joined in too. With the help of our high school interns, the Lord is opening doors to love others in the name of Jesus—just as He always intended.

Looking ahead, the R3 Gathering for Christian educators serving in second- and third-chair leadership is happening March 13–14 in Albany, Georgia, at Camp Kirksey. For those of us in the Methodist faith tradition the past decade has been a refining fire. Now it’s time to move forward—actively and fully—spreading scriptural holiness through our local churches. This Thursday evening-through-late afternoon Friday gathering will focus on relationships and refreshing the Wesleyan traditions in the ruts, roots, and rhythms of ministry with children and families across North and South Georgia. There won’t be a exhibit hall, but there will be Jesus folk who are serving in the trenches, in community, at this incredible time in Christian history. I’d love to meet you there. Allison Vandenbergh is setting an incredible table for our time together.

And this week? Mr. Bob and I and I were supposed to be somewhere else, but plans change; we pivoted to spend time with the fabulous family we prayed for. This morning I’m meeting our beautiful daughter-in-love and Grand G at Home Depot to invest in some living green goodness to get a jump on spring. Then I’m headed for an early lunch and an afternoon movie with the big grands followed by dinner out with my honey. All after time with the Lord, remembering He is good and I am His.

Where is the Lord of the universe making Himself known in your world today?

“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” Acts 2:28

Lent is a season of remembering—of remembering the historically true story of our faith in Jesus. Adults are invited to practice the holy habit of intentionally remembering, while for our littles we lovingly introduce, teach, and practice these habits together. We begin the teaching at church, but the real, beautiful work of practicing faith happens at home. From Ash Wednesday through Resurrection Sunday and the days after we celebrate our good God’s faithfulness and His redemption.

This year, families will receive Lenten Take-Home Bags filled with meaningful tools to walk the season together, including:

• A copy of Wondering to Jerusalem by Vanessa Myers, a wonder-filled Lenten devotional for littles (3rd-4th grade reading level)
• A plush lamb (yes, we’ll talk about the Passover lamb, forgiveness, and how Jesus is truly the Lamb of God)
• Multiple copies of a Children’s Fasting Plan, designed for littles and their bigs to talk through together—what to give up, for how long, what to do instead, and the heartfelt “I’m doing this because…” This was a free resource when you subscribe to the amazing family ministry resources found at DeeperKidmin.com.
  Fasting is a holy habit that is being practiced more and more among our congregation. Fasting will take place among adults on Wednesdays and/or Fridays during Lent, and if a holy habit draws grown-ups closer to Jesus, we want our kids learning and practicing right alongside them.
• Family Devo Table Talkers for February by Corinne Noble—perfect for on-the-go moments and meaningful conversations around the table.

Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent, falls during our Winter Break (school’s out!) this year. So we’ll celebrate Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) on the Sunday before with King Cake, masks, and beads. Family Lent Bags will go home on the first Sunday of Lent.

February’s Hallelujah Camp will include a shadow play that will be recorded and used in worship, and again to close out our Wondering to Jerusalem family event on Palm Sunday. We’re thrilled to co-host that celebration with a local senior living center and their families. We’re already painting rocks for writing He Is Risen!

Another wonderful resource we’ll use this season is Wonder Ink’s Around the Table: A Taste of Passover, which we’ll experience together on a Sunday morning with the littles—and even our youth! This hands-on, multi-sensory experience connects the Exodus story with the death and resurrection of Jesus. And the plagues are represented with candy. I almost never use candy in children’s ministry… but this one is worth the exception.

So, what does the upcoming Lenten season look like for you as you disciple your littles—and their bigs to remember?

“Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you.” Deuteronomy 15:15a 

Okay, I’ll admit it—I paid my kids to take a class (or two) at church when they were in high school. One of those classes was Financial Peace for Teens. Each could earn cold, hard cash if they arrived early, fully participated, kept a great attitude, and thanked the teacher afterward—with a smile. Cash for every class.

It was money well spent. Ask their spouses!

So when social media posts started popping up in my feed by students I love and adore asking for support for their summer mission trips, I had an idea.

One of our co-pastors leads fantastic, intentional teaching and practices of the holy habits in Abide Labs. Abide = teaching sacred practices outlined in the scriptures. Labs = practicing the teaching in a community setting. For all ages and stages. These incredible teachings are very practical and one of my favorite things she does to equip disciples to become disciple-makers. These same students I love and adore would get outstanding teaching if they would attend this opportunity, one hour, on a Sunday evening.

Here was the idea: I would personally contribute $20 toward a student’s mission fees for attending the upcoming Abide Lab—as long as they arrive early, fully participate, bring a paper Bible, keep their phones tucked away, stay for the entire session, and linger afterward to thank the teacher (our co-pastor).

When I shared the idea at last week’s staff meeting, our pastors jumped in and matched the $20. That made the first Abide Lab of 2026—How to Study the Bible—worth $40 toward each student’s mission fees.

Last Sunday, eight high schoolers and two ambassadors showed up. They even brought their families.

We enjoyed 50 minutes of solid teaching, sticky stories that made us love our co-pastors even more, and a beautiful moment centered around the many different Bibles stacked on the table. Then we spent 10 minutes in small groups, practicing one simple way to study the Bible—on our own and together in community.

I asked the students if they enjoyed the class.

They loved it.

Even better, sponsors are already lined up for the next Abide Labs happening each month before mission fees are due in full. March’s Abide Lab: How to Praise the Lord.

That’s a dog in the hunt. Skin in the game. And great learning.

An investment in kingdom-building to share Jesus with neighbors, nations, and the next generation.

“To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.” Matthew 25:15

I remember a conversation with my colleague and fellow Jesus-gal, Vanessa Myers, when she shared that the Lord was leading her to follow up her beautiful Advent book, Wondering to Bethlehem, with a resource for the season of Lent. I’m happy to say—it’s here!

Wondering to Jerusalem: A Wonder-Filled Lent Devotional for Kids is written especially for children and for parents of littles who aren’t yet readers. It gently invites families to journey to Jerusalem during the final week of Jesus’ life on earth, leading up to His death and resurrection. Through simple readings and thoughtful “I wonder…” questions, it opens the door for meaningful conversations about this historically true event on which our entire Christian faith is built.

With forty devotions—plus three bonus entries—we travel with Jesus as He makes this final journey to Jerusalem. Each day includes a Scripture “packing list,” a short set of “I wonder…” questions, and a guided prayer, followed by a full journal page and space to draw a visual snapshot of the scene.

But this book is so much more than a kids’ devotional.

It has inspired me to design and prepare Children’s Moments for our church-wide worship services. The spiritual depth is remarkable—grounded in Scripture and supported by historical writings—for all ages and stages. From detailed information about the temple to helpful layouts in the appendices, to insights about donkeys and daily life, there is so much here. Even as a long-time Christian, I learned new, trustworthy details about the story that defines our faith.

So, what am I going to do with it? Great question!

First, I placed a bulk order for every student in K5–5th grade, as well as for each family in our nursery, to encourage daily reading and response from Ash Wednesday through Easter Sunday. I also ordered several extra copies to share at the Georgia Preschool Association Annual Conference in February and at a community event we’ll sponsor with a local senior living center on Palm Sunday.

Second, Vanessa has created a simple and meaningful Family Event, now available on her website. Our church is partnering with a local senior living center to host this event on Palm Sunday from 3–5 pm, outdoors, bringing together our families and the families of residents. The senior living center is providing the staging, sound system, some door prizes, and food—charcuterie cups featuring Middle Eastern flavors. Their Bible study group will offer hospitality, take photos at the photo booth, and engage families with “I wonder…” questions throughout the event.

Our local church team will bring the activity stations, photo booth supplies, and volunteers to connect with both church families and residents. We’ll also invite the families of our students and adults with disabilities to arrive 20 minutes early. We’ll close the event with a viewing of the recording of our elementary students’ shadow presentation of the song “King of Kings,” which we’ll prepare and record during Lent at the Spring Hallelujah Camp.

Vanessa Myers has generously offered to give one free copy of Wondering to Jerusalem to a blog reader. If you’d like to receive the gift copy (mine is already written in!), please comment by Friday evening—wherever you’re reading this—and share one of your favorite Easter or Lent traditions.

You can find information about bulk book orders here. You can also find the Family Event resource here, along with many other scripturally true resources for families and kidmin leaders.

I’d love to hear how you plan to use this wonderful resource in your own context. A children’s sermon? An at-home family resource? Special weekly programming? A Family Event or community faith-formation gathering?

Vanessa has diligently and faithfully done the hard work. What might this resource inspire for you?

“When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?” Matthew 21:10

My friend’s mother passed away several months ago. I never had the privilege of knowing her mother personally, but I learned she was a devoted wife, a loving mother, a faithful participant in her church’s women’s Bible study for many years, and someone who was deeply cherished by all who knew her. My friend and her husband have raised three remarkable young men—Eagle Scouts—and they are eagerly awaiting their first grandchild. The sudden loss of this wonderful woman of faith and family has been heartbreaking for them. The holiday season which followed has been difficult to say the least.

Because Mr. Bob and I couldn’t get back from a site visit for March’s R3 Gathering in time for the visitation the night before, I planned to attend the graveside service the next day. Well before any arrangements were made, we had already promised the big grands a weekend of Christmas decorating. Grand N stayed behind to help Pops with the heavier work, and Grand E, came with me—ready to serve as my plus-one as we offered a simple ministry of presence to my friend and her family at her mom’s funeral.

It became a meaningful opportunity to teach E the rituals, practices, and language of honoring a life well-lived within Christian community. E had attended her great-grandfather’s funeral at age four or five; she is eleven now, ready to understand more deeply.

E is a believer and Jesus is her King, so I can use language like ‘God’s people’, ‘the way of Jesus people’, and though we are sad at the loss of our loved ones, we have ‘hope in Christ Jesus, the writer and perfecter of our Christian faith.’

E’s mom helped her choose appropriate clothes, shoes, and jewelry. On our way to the graveside service, we stopped at Honey Baked Ham to pick up something to share and packed it in a cooler. E was in charge of the ice.

We talked about where to sit or stand, how to greet people, and how to introduce herself with eye contact and a gentle handshake. We talked about how services like this remind Christians that this world is not our final home, that Jesus prepares a place for His own, that God’s Word is true, and that the Christian community comes together in seasons of joy and in seasons of sorrow. This is our way.

We chatted that there will always be seasons when God’s people hold both tissues and confetti—grief for what we’ve lost, and hope for the wholeness and healing promised in Heaven. We are meant to walk through these moments together for strength, comfort, shared stories, and care.

Funeral services help provide a transition through practices, people, stories, and the start of new normals. These moments are difficult, and even more difficult when faced alone or without space to process. Such services are for the living—for those left to remember, to grieve, and to be supported by the Christian community through offerings of presence, food, and acts of kindness.

When we arrived, I quietly introduced E to the family members, their names, and how they were related. I quietly pointed out the items under the tent, explained their purposes, and shared how each element in the service was chosen by loved ones or the family to honor her life.

We talked about grave markers, dates, the meaning of the dash between them, flowers, vases, and the difference between settled and freshly placed sod. We noticed one gravesite decorated with garland, spinners, photographs, and colorful plastic flowers. E asked if she could visit it after the service. She did.

Throughout the service, she watched and listened with full attention—the message, the music, the poem written and read by my friend’s sister. E stood quietly and respectfully the entire time. After the pastor dismissed us, we walked slowly to retrieve the cooler, placed it by my friend’s truck door, and began our drive home.

In the car, she asked thoughtful questions: “Who decides who gets to speak?”, “How do people find out someone has died?”, and “What happens next?” We talked about the first funeral I attended and others I have experienced. She even began thinking through who should speak at my funeral—“a very long time from now,” she assured me.

She was respectful, steady, curious, and unafraid. I was grateful for this sacred teaching moment even as I stood quietly in support of my grieving friend.

Less than ten days later, E’s other grandmother passed away suddenly. Lots of feelings, lots of hugs, lots of stories, lots of decisions were made for the family to travel to south Florida to be present and celebrate the life of a beautiful mother, wife, sister, and daughter of the King of Kings.

Grand E spoke at her grandmother’s service with her daddy standing at her side. She knew exactly what she wanted to say.

We Jesus people do things differently.

And Grand E knows.

“These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” 1 John 5:13 KJV

Small talk builds trust. It signals respect and genuine interest. It creates a sense of belonging, opens the door for influence and collaboration, and is often the first step toward honest, meaningful connection.

I love small talk. Not everyone does—and that’s okay. Small talk is a skill that can be learned and practiced. More than that, it’s a simple but powerful act of presence.

Lately, I’ve been listening to some excellent podcasts and reading some great books on connection and conversation that have helped me grow in this skill, including:

• The Next Conversation with Jefferson Fisher – His book was one of my favorite reads of 2025
• The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett, featuring Harvard behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks
• The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett and Jefferson Fisher
• How to Talk to Anyone About Anything by James W. Williams
• BigDeal: “Stop Rambling: The 3-2-1 Speaking Trick”

A line that stuck with me from BigDeal: “Conversation is not a soft skill-it’s a science.”

One of the best takeaways? When you know you’ll be entering a situation where small talk will be necessary (as in every group setting), come prepared with one or two good questions to ask, and small talk becomes easy.

My prepared question for January is simple: What are you most excited about in 2026?

And just in case the question comes back to me, I’ve prepared a few answers, too.

Answer #1: Mr. Bob and I are heading to the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter with our big grands for my February birthday. It’s been on my bucket list, and sharing that experience with them means making memories—and enjoying great apologetic and historical conversations along the way.

Answer #2: Launching LifeWise Academy for 1st–3rd graders in my county. This has been more than two years in the making, and each Thursday starting this week, I’ll get to serve as the bus teacher and alternating 2nd grade Bible teacher. With limited time, the bus rides are a great time for music, games, and connection. Just last Sunday, our LifeWise Cherokee County team delivered swag bags—complete with bubble machines and great enthusiasm—to the families already registered. Lots of additional encounters took place when the big, red LifeWise bus came to their very front door with Christmas lights and more.

Answer #3: I’ve asked the Lord to grow in me this year the fruit of the Spirit of gentleness—responding with tenderness. Yes, my maiden name is Bull, but I’m choosing to live in a posture of love going first. God has gently convicted me not only to grow in small talk, but in gentle and tender conversational skills. I want to go deeper in conversations more quickly and to be bolder in sharing the good news of Jesus with my words. I want to be a better communicator across the table, on the phone, and with those I love. It’s less about the sage from the stage and more about the guide alongside.

Sooooooo, what are you most excited about in 2026?

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12