It’s one thing to have a meal, quite another to share the table with Christian friends in the community wearing church t-shirts identifying where you come from. When I began hearing the Lenten sermon series for 2023 was ‘Journey to the Cross’, I raised an eyebrow. Now I’m the first one to share the account of our salvation by the sacrifice, death, and resurrection of our Jesus with little people in a developmentally appropriate way, but how do I make that journey relative to little people for a season? It got me thinking.

One of the major parts of planning for a trip or journey is to answer the all-important-question “What’s for dinner?” 

Wanting to bring our Lent celebration outside the church, we decided to offer Lent Dine-outs each Thursday during Lent at a local restaurant. We are inviting everyone and anyone to stop by a local restaurant we’ve already made arrangements with anytime between 6-7:30pm to enjoy a meal with other Christians.

We chose and called restaurants near the church where ‘kids’ teams’ celebrate after games because the staff would be accustomed to handling a large group and navigating multiple tickets since everyone will be paying for their own meals. We also called on restaurants we knew were owned by or the employers of church members.

Each week we’re promoting over social media and the Sunday bulletin where we’ll be. Last week we came in second on that location’s trivia night with the youngest being a 2 year old alongside littles, middles, youth, adults, including senior saints. We set the table for intergenerational and multigenerational table-life at its best.  Even though the first Thursday was Winter Break, the turnout and experience was fantastic.

We’ve designated a host/hostess for each dine-out to arrive about 15 minutes early to place laminated cards on a couple of tables and remind the staff who we are and what we’ll be doing. We’ll be sure to love the staff well and our folks will practice a bit of Christian testimony-tipping and generosity. 

I’m even covering the times Jesus had a meal or tasty beverage along his journeys in the weekly Children’s Moments. This week we’re heading to Moe’s. I started the children’s moment with, “I wonder if every time someone walked into our church we greeted them with, ‘Welcome to McEachern!’” with the same enthusiasm. This week we chatted about how a long conversation between Jesus and a gal at a well over a drink of water at lunchtime (John 4) set the table for a whole region to come to know Jesus.

If you are on our side of town, we invite you to come to the table where we’ll eat, where we’ll enjoy some tasty beverages, where we’ll tell some stories, learn a few things, and play some games. We’re headed outside the church walls and being a good neighbor.

Lenten dine-outs…it’s what’s for dinner on Thursday nights!

“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:11-13

Last week I posted ideas to consider to make an event an intentional next step in a discipleship journey BEFORE the event. You can find that blog post here. This week we’ll chat a bit about extending your event into something more AFTER the event.

Discipleship AFTER an event might look like….

• Being prepared to share ‘next steps’ for those in attendance by announcement at the end AND a followup email a day or so after the event with links and a few more details to all those in attendance. This is one of the most important reasons to have online registration. Online registration offers tools to communicate next steps to those who attended the event with curated opportunities already prepared ready to receive inquiries, details, and a commitment to participate. Ex: Easter Sunday is a big deal in the church world. But as we prepare for Easter Sunday, what will be offered to help people along their discipleship journey afterwards? Easter Sunday can NOT be a one-and-done event. As much thought needs to go into after-Easter as Easter Sunday. Jesus showed himself to more than 500 people AFTER Easter Sunday. Are you as prepared for AFTER as you are ON Easter Sunday?
• Story: There were four activities about to take place in our community (not just our church) in the next month which were perfect next steps for the ladies who attended the Ladies & Mother-Daughter Heart & Cookie Exchange (think a Christmas ornament exchange but in February because December is WAY too busy). I made the announcements at the end of the event. The next day I sent an email to those who registered and attended with follow-up well-wishes and links to the four activities mentioned in the announcements. A few hours later a Sunday school class forwarded one of the events as a shared experience for the ladies in that class and tickets are now being purchased and plans made to gather to take that next step together. This also affirms that most folks today want to participate in social events ‘with a friend’ or ‘as a group’. Making it easy to do so is a way to help disciples of Jesus know what’s coming up AND who else wants to share the journey. Laying it out there what the next step is makes for an intentional discipleship pathway and helps navigate the mega-communication of options. 
• Taking and posting pictures before, during and after the event extends the event up to several days later. Ex: Campfire Christmas with its sub-zero weather and 30-40 mph winds didn’t keep 100 people from coming out to worship the Lord together as families. As pictures I took and posted AND the pictures posted by families who attended continued to roll in my social media feed, memories and smiles abounded. As they rolled into my feed, I was able to comment with ‘glad you were able to come’, ‘we hope to see you again when it’s warmer’, ‘this was one of my favorite moments, too’. In the algorithm world, those conversations continued and kept rolling in my (and a whole lot of other folks’) social media feed for up to 6 days after the event. 
• Personal thankful texts within the first hour or two after the event to those who served on the make-it-happen team lets the team of folks you lead know their efforts were important to you and to their family of faith. A text with a picture of them with their family or of a special moment makes it easier for them to post in their own social media feed. Every time they search an image in their devices that photo will be there in the gallery for a sticky faith formation memory in their own list of remarkable faith moments. 
• Preparing a response for the next week around tables or hallway chats to remind the WHY for the event in conversations when the event is talked about gives a ‘bow on the package’ opportunity to show your intentional purpose for the event. Everyone has their own reasoning for why an event took place, this keeps it within the navigational beacons of the planned WHY and the basis for how it’ll be measured. Be prepared to bring it up in conversation at every opportunity the following week whether your audience attended or not. 
• Story: Our Finance Ninja is actively involved in another church in our community. With energy and joy I share with her the ‘family stories’ of the previous Sunday and every event as soon as I’m back on campus. She pays the bills and makes us all look good. She’s on my team even if she isn’t there ‘in the moment’. When comments are made or meetings take place, she has some reference and can add to the conversations, extending the narrative beyond the event.

Taking a little time to consider the AFTER can extend your event into the discipleship pathway for the folks who attend, the folks who serve, and the folks who will hear the stories of the event. In the words of the 1991 song by Bonnie Raitt, “Let’s give ‘em something to talk about.”

“The people ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.” Mark 8:8

Any well-planned church event is just an event unless there is intentional discipleship before and after. Effective event planning at church must serve a discipleship purpose or it’s no different than the great events planned at your kid’s local school or the local YMCA.

What if you could extend the event into something more with just a little forethought and preparation by asking more questions?

Someone asked in the staff meeting last week if the event I’d planned the following Sunday afternoon was a one-and-done. Someone else piped in and shared, “DeDe never does a one-and-done event.” I smiled. They’re right!

I’m a disciple-maker, not an event planner. Yes, I plan events, but there is intentional discipleship before and after which makes a world of difference in what is planned and how resources (what’s at hand) are stewarded.

Discipleship BEFORE might look like….

• Setting the WHY and up to THREE MEASURABLE GOALS to help the event stay within the navigational beacons and purposeful when add-ons come alongside disappointments. Story: As the Children’s Ministry Lead AND the Women’s Ministry Lead of my church, it’s important to me to bridge the high school girls into the women’s ministry and set the table to begin and deepen relationships between women of all ages and generations. When it was discovered that several of the older women decided not to go on the Women’s Retreat because, “we only want to go if there are grown women there”, the design team was disappointed. Yet, one of the goals of the retreat was to set the table for intergenerational relationships and we had to let it go. An event can’t be all things to all people all the time. Other measurable goals could include the percentage of first time participants, percentage of second step folks in attendance, setting a critical mass number for the space, number of generations in attendance, percentage of grandparents in attendance, lingering space before and after, base line for ages in attendance, anticipating trouble spots and addressing before, when to address trouble spots going forward, answering three main questions for next time, etc.
• Determine the WHERE – this helps those who are new or still finding their way around your campus. Logistics and how we communicate those logistics matters as we try to remove as many awkward-moment possibilities as possible. Logistics and spaces can make for distractions, confusion, and an awkward start. Intentional hospitality through communication, registration, personal invites, and room reservations can set a good table for discipleship. 
• Story: Last Easter there were so many families attending the Sunday morning children’s ministry Egg Scramble there were kids with families (new parents want to do everything, especially church, together as a family) opening eggs on stairs, hallways, and more rooms than I had planned. The spaces were also nearer their cars in the parking lot than the sanctuary (up one floor) to leave afterwards where we’d hoped they’d attend the second service. This year, we are moving it to a larger space, nearest the sanctuary, still adjacent to the kid’s Sunday morning check-in entrance, but critical mass will be seen and enjoyed. If there are less in attendance, it won’t look like it. If there are more in attendance the space can now accommodate them. I’ve invited the men’s ministry to offer a biscuit bar to follow the Egg Scramble to make sure the entire floor smells like bread and folks will linger hopefully to support and attend the second service.
• Story: Wonderfully Made requires the hanging of vocabulary words I would not want included or remembered for being said or hung up on the walls in our kid’s worship space. It just needs to be different, but in a location that our community knows well. Mission accomplished by moving two buildings over where the community votes, enjoys scouts, and near an outdoor playground for big kids to remember they are still little kids in lots of ways when the information gets to be too much, and it does. 
• Story: Due to a database upgrade that dropped an event, another event was approved two months prior overlapping my original event time. That’s how I discovered several of my events had been dropped in the upgrade. I pivoted my time to get the original space on the day originally promoted. Another space was offered a few days before my event due to the ‘chili smell’. Nope. Too late for all that. The space mattered for a whole host of reasons thought out last summer when the room was originally booked. Trying to navigate people to a different space in that short amount of time was not up to our standards for hospitality. It worked out just fine. 
• Story: A site visit by the Women’s Retreat design team helped us get to know one another when transportation was the church bus. Yes, we needed information about the location in order to plan the event well, but what seemed like a last-minute stop (intentionally planned) at the local coffee shop gave me a ton of information about the design team members. AND asking a member’s spouse to drive us made for lots of easy conversations of “What brought you to the church?” setting the table for learning the stories of the women leading the team. Offering next steps in discipleship for each one in the year to come is so much easier when we hear the priorities as shared by their stories. Ex: One isn’t part of a Sunday school because she “doesn’t like to bring food.” I see this design team as one of the small groups I lead for this season, so I will maximize the discipleship time as they see to the tasks BEFORE the event.

The event itself should be prepared before, during, and after as a best next step in one’s discipleship journey with what’s in your hand and who is the Lord setting before you. Want to dig a bit deeper? Check out this post.

Next week I’ll offer a few ideas for turning a one-and-done event into something more AFTER the event, thereby extending the discipleship pathway into intentional next steps.

“But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.” 1 Corinthians 14:40

Effective ministry with children and families can not take place without a team of folks who love the Lord with their whole hearts, sacrificing time and brain space to littles and bigs for Jesus. Even Jesus insisted He was not a one-man show before His glorious resurrection by modeling and sending out his disciples two at a time. A good visible example of this kind of sending out is in one of the early season three episodes of The Chosen. But I digress.

The number one challenge I get phone calls about from fellow kidmin champions in the trenches is not having enough volunteers. They ask, “How do I get them?”, “Where do they come from?”, and “Why don’t they see how important this is?” I can relate because Sunday keeps coming. Take a deep breath.

What else is coming is that a good percentage of my entire ‘congregation’ will age out every year (I’m responsible for kindergarten thru 5th grade). Gone. Those 5th graders are going to be 6th graders no matter what. I could lament their leaving, but I prefer to look at them as ‘going into the mission field.’ Children’s Ministry is a sending ministry starting with relationships.

God called His people in the Old Testament to test Him by returning to Him a 10% tithe of their resources. People are your resources. Yes, money is nice, space is great, and priority at the table is important, but you can not do ministry with littles and bigs without other people.

What if you spent 10% of your weekly work time with, for, or about recruiting, retaining, appreciating, and growing in relationship with your volunteers? You’d be surprised how you could multiply and grow the ministry to love more kids to Jesus and your own faith. A 10-hour/week staff member dedicating one hour each week to volunteerism can go a long way to growing relationships because ministry with children is all about relationships.
20-hour/week staff member ~ 2 hours/week re: volunteers
30-hour/week staff member ~ 3 hours/week re: servant leaders
40-hour/week staff member ~ 4 hours/week re: team of laity laying it all out there

What to do to tithe or ‘return to our great God’ our best resources?

• Pray daily ‘Who, Lord?’ (I write this with a sharpie on my windshield for the commute), then make the cold call. The first call/email can NOT be about THE ASK, but rather, “My name is DeDe and I serve the littles and their bigs at McEachern Methodist church and I saw you at church on Sunday. I wanted to get to know you better so I thought I’d give you a call.” 
• Good questions to prompt the conversation: “Tell me how you came to McEachern?”, “How long have you been at McEachern?”, “Who is your best friend at church?” Not an interview, but just a couple of prompts and listening to toss the conversational ball back and forth. Take notes during or after the call. Close the conversation with, “Thank you for letting me get to know you a little better. I’m delighted to be at our church and I look forward to seeing you at church.” Short, sweet, confident, the start of a relationship. If you serve at their church, you’re family. 
• Other tithing practices can include monthly appreciation swag, hand-written notes of appreciation, send a text, invite someone to tea/coffee or chips & salsa, drop off something in their home mailbox, pray through their classroom, hold a volunteer team meeting, meet for lunch/breakfast/dessert, comment on their social media feeds. Design a training meeting, compose a thank-you post to recognize your team on social media, be available and accessible before and after programming and services, attend a concert or special event together, text pictures of their family taken at the last church event. Sharing life! Make new friends and grow in deeper relationship with first friends. THIS is the church.

Ministry is all about relationships, not the tasks, not the curriculum’s ‘big idea’, but relationships. Relationships where Jesus is the center and the Holy Spirit is the binding force to grow us closer to Him and closer to one another. Yes, the tasks of copies, cleaning, organizing, and shopping (my least favorite part of ministry) need to get done, but your greatest delight at the end of your professional journey will not be the Christmas Eve Children’s Moment in 2021, but rather the people and relationships you tithe back to the Lord. Can you name them? There are a whole bunch I hope to share a mansion and the golden streets with in Glory forever. We’ll be singing at the top of our lungs and laughing our heads off of our new bodies.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity and she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25