Less than a month ago, I accepted a full-time position with a new local church in ministry with children kindergarten through fifth-grade. The church is new to me on the ‘day to day’, but I have long known their generosity, their heart for service, and their reputation of training up leaders for more than 15 years from those who serve within the Emmaus community there. Good people, indeed!

The senior pastor asked me this very question the first time I met with him and a representative from the Staff Parish Relations Committee. One of our challenges as local church staff is to guard and prepare for ourselves that which we encourage for the congregation we serve. We have to creatively prepare for opportunities to engage in worship, corporate worship. As followers of Christ, we, too, are called to follow the directive by the author of Hebrews to ‘not forsake gathering together.’

“Then I (the apostle John) looked and heard, the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand (THAT’s community!). They encircled the throne and the living creature and the elders (serving a God of order.) In a loud voice they sang (singing is still a part): Worthy is the Lamb (Jesus) who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” Revelation 5:11-12 NIV

This was revealed to John of how Jesus will be worshiped in Heaven. I am SO visual, it gives me a great picture of what it means to worship our great God.

How can we worship Him today in power? I have power over my emotions, my disposition, and setting my own priorities. I have the power to set aside one day a week as my Sabbath. Fridays are my Sabbath.

How can I worship Him today in wealth? With my money. Returning to Him which was His in the first place is an act of trust and obedience. Giving is the act of returning a tithe (10% of my increase). Since I am no longer in services when the plate is passed, I have now set it up for my bank to issue and mail the tithe.

How can I worship Him today in wisdom? With my mind. Romans 12:2 reads, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Jesus understood that any authentic transformation will happen for all of us in our minds first. When I am regularly in The Word, learning the language and vocabulary of God, transformation takes place. This one is seriously on me. If I claim I am not hearing from God…If I state that ‘I don’t get fed at church’… If I hold on to the idea that my personal preferences for Sunday morning worship determines if I worship or not… I am SO out of sync with what God intended worship to be.

How can I worship Him today in strength? With my body. I KNOW my triggers. Peanut M&Ms are my Judas sin…you know, sin that comes at you looking like a friend, kissing you on the cheek, then turning on you. I may not be able to scale a 10 foot wall, but taking care of my body is worship. Thank you, Fitbit, for the accountability help.

How can I worship Him today in honor? With my deeds. I honor our great God when I bake a cake, write a note, make a phone call, send an encouraging text, share a casserole (this is how we really share love in the south, right?), bring a flower, go above and beyond in my work, drop off a 24-pack of toilet paper when my neighbor has house guests due to a funeral or a wedding. How and when I serve should bring Him honor.

How can I worship Him today in glory? With expressions of hope, encouragement, and forgiving well.  Glory has a weight to it, a leaning-in quality. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another, just as in Christ God forgave you.” So I give Him glory when I extend the same forgiveness He gives me. This is when worship doesn’t come easy. Yet He invites us to ‘lean in’ through prayer.

How can I worship Him today in praise? With my words and my speech. My words can heal or hurt, my countenance when sharing those words can help or hinder. My heart is heard by my words and how they are shared.

Worship is not where I go or the type of songs sung, it’s how we are to live. Not once a week, but every single day. I listen to sermons by podcast, sing to my favorite worship songs on my cellphone at the top of my lungs and in sign, attend other worship experiences that take place other than on Sunday mornings, and give online. I take bible study in small group, share life and accept accountability in a weekly Emmaus Reunion Group, and have my personal ‘quiet time’ (which is sometimes FAR from quiet) with the LORD each morning. Oh, and in my new position, I sing and dance before the LORD with little people every Sunday morning. How wonderful that our Great God has offered us the tools to serve AND the tools to worship the One and Only whose abundant love has ruined me for the typical, the ordinary, the mediocre.

“Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:2

Ever have a situation that takes up WAY too much space in your head? It not only stays in your head, but lays heavy on your soul? And the situation is much more personal, because you are directly involved? It takes place in your world, in your house, in your backyard, on your turf. I used to filter my response with, “If I am still troubled to the same degree as when it happened, or even more so, after three days, then I need to do something about it.”

It’s been three days and I’m still twisted.

Those of us involved in ministry with children in the local church are spunky, creative, and nurturing. We also submit to the authority over us, keeping our heads down and doing the work. We typically avoid ever drawing so much attention to ourselves that we become targets. We are well-informed and can quickly read a room for safety because we are usually followed by little people and harm will not come to our own ‘on our watch.’ It’s kinda like the gift the LORD gives and grows in Moms and Dads to expand our peripheral vision to a complete 360 when it comes to our kids. We are easily influenced by those with credentials seemingly a tad better than we perceive our own because we wish to serve at our best. We don’t push back and we keep the peace although we are ferociously protective of the kids in our charge and our fellow servant leaders.

There are strategies we can learn to engage in these critical conversations well. When our natural response is to freeze, fight, or flight, Rev. Dr. Scott Hughes, Director of Adult Discipleship at UMC Discipleship Ministries, has been blogging and sharing around the country equipping folks to lean into these critical conversations with courage. Scott and I collaborated on what that engagement could look like for those who minister with children at a learning event last weekend. In the book Crucial Conversations we can learn to prepare for that conversation using the acronym STATE providing an ‘easy way to introduce risky information and defuse emotion, making it possible to keep a conversation on track.’ (Crucial Conversations)

S – Share your facts…this was my expectation, but this is what I saw happen; address the gap between expectation and reality.
T – Tell your story…this is how you felt and what you are now having to do as a result of the gap between expectation and reality.
A – Ask for other’s paths…ask questions for clarity and understanding with the goal of creating an environment of safety making him/her feel his/her opinion matters.
T – Talk tentative…presenting your story as a story and not as fact; refrain from pre-judging motives
E – Encourage testing…perhaps asking, “Do you have an alternative explanation for the discrepancy?”

Well, it’s been three days and I am just as twisted as I was when the situation took place. The expectation was one thing, the reality was something altogether different. My tribe was affected and I feel responsible. Ugh! I know the ‘whats’. I can use the STATE method to prepare and stay in my lane. The challenge now is ‘when and to whom?’  I covet your prayers…

“Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.” 1 Chronicles 28:20

Chantal and I became quick friends during my family’s time in New England. I had accepted Christ as my savior at 10 years old at VBS, but she made Him Lord of her life as an adult. She was on the disciple-of-Jesus express train and I jumped on with all I had. We sharpened one another as iron sharpens iron in the Lord’s army as wives, mothers of little people, and weekday preschool teachers. One evening a week from 8-9pm we would call one another to share prayer requests and then pray our hearts out over the phone. At the top of our prayer lists were to become the Godly wives our Creator called us to be and that our children, all under 7 years old at the time, would love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, and minds at an early age. We fasted one day each week for God’s call on the lives of our children, even to pray for their future spouses. Yet even with all of our intentionality I felt limited in my prayer vocabulary, until I picked up a copy of Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Parent. Thirty chapters with thirty prayers at the end of each chapter along with scripture. Whatever day of the calendar month, that’s the chapter I would pray for my children. That was 1993.

Godly parents desire to be faithful to pray for their children. I’m thinking today’s parents are just as challenged as I was in prayer vocabulary. I have always encouraged parental prayers as part of a parent’s spiritual discipline, and The Power of a Praying Parent was the best resource I’ve ever used. Though I started this prayer practice when my littles were under the age of 7, it was when they were in middle and high school these chapters were especially helpful: Praying Through A Child’s Room, Learning To Speak Life, and Avoiding Addictions. A fruitful resource indeed and in paperback still available today.

“Having raised children from birth to adulthood, I’ve come to realize that one of the main things our children will take with them when they leave our realm of influence is their faith. If we can be sure they have strong faith in God and His Word, and the love of God in their hearts, then we can know they are set for eternity. Our prayers can play a big part in helping them achieve that.” Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Parent (p. 204)

While listening to the podcast , The Kid’s Ministry Collective I heard of a new book Bible Praying For Parents and immediately ordered two copies. Keith Ferrin and Judy Fetzer collaborated to publish a book of prayers straight from the Holy Bible. Mrs. Fetzer collected these 365 prayers and sent them to herself and others through her blog www.mamahenprays.wordpress.com. Y’all this book provides more than just a book of prayers.

Bible Praying For Parents is a great tool for brief, breath prayers for our kids for every day of the year. The book also includes a section for Bible praying by categories such as anger, anxiety, family relationships, temptation, and more. And if that wasn’t worth the $14.99 price of the book, the back section is entitled: Bible Blessings.

Forty-three blessings are listed in the order they are found in the Bible. Blessings to speak over your children at night, as they head out the door, while eating a meal, or wherever you wish to speak God’s Word and truth so they know the power and mystery of the One who loves them even more than you.

“From 2 Thessalonians 3:5 Blessing: ____________, may the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” (p 293)

Hand in hand through childhood

When we read the Bible we learn God’s vocabulary and of His history and plan for His people. When we pray God’s vocabulary over our children, we hear His heart for our own, and our children hear His voice. This new resource should be beside every prayer chair on the planet because this I know: No one will pray for our kids like we will. Lord, may we be found faithful to do so regularly and well.

“A Godly Mother guides our steps…nurtures our growth, encourages our Spirit, molds our character, commits our lives to the One she’s been raising us for.” Julee Lynn Boren 1971-1998

Need to know if you are on the right path? Need to know if the vision for your ministry is in line with the plans, vision, and mission with the church you serve? Need to join the conversation of informing yourself and others of where the Spirit is headed in your organization? Need to let the leadership know what in the world you’re doing and how long it takes to do it? Offer regular and periodic evaluations!

If you are not doing a job well, I’d hope you’d hear about it very early in the ‘running down that road’ process. But what if you don’t hear anything…neither encouraging nor critical?

What if you are in a constant state of evaluation, but your organization doesn’t offer a time for you to share the passion, dream, successes, and challenges across a table that got you the job in the first place? And who knows your goals? Your professional, your personal, your ministry goals? Do a regular self-evaluation!

There is something about putting such information on paper that offers accountability and gives clarity for a season, a ministry, an event. I so need this since I’m thinking about next Sunday, next year, and five years down the road all at the same time!

The idea behind self evaluation is that our judgment of what we think we are doing and what we actually are doing is not always the same. This is why it is so important to perform regular self evaluation. – Stanley C. Loewen, Health Guidance For Better Health

A colleague in my district children’s ministry networking group shared a list of five items she was being asked to respond to for this very purpose. With this list of questions we can easily and quickly put onto paper our response to offer focus, reflection, and even measure results. I do it every six months.

1. High points of your responsibilities

A job description outlines the bare minimums. A responsibility description outlines the much-less-cumbersome-to-outline responsibilities of the role one serves on the leadership team. Some responsibilities are seasonal. Some responsibilities have a greater impact on others on the team. This lets me outline a few of those things that are a priority and what I love which gives me energy and fosters the greatest creativity.

2. Three goals

Where do I want to see the ministry go this year? Though there is lots to do, what are the most important things to keep before my eyes, my heart, and my passions? These will offer clarity for what is actually in my bucket, the dogs in my hunt, and the runway on which to land my plane with deadlines.

“If all I do is tasks, I leave a ton of value on the table for creativity and initiation of doing things better.” – Seth Godin

3.  How am I taking care of myself?

What do I have in place over the next six months to maintaining healthy boundaries? From my most recent self-eval: Check and set my weekly schedule, Emmaus Reunion group weekly meeting, Blog writing, Partnering with CEF, Children’s Ministry Connection, District KidMin Networking Teams by my attendance.

4.  Who is on my ministry team?

Put onto paper 5-7 of the names of my inner circle, my go-tos, my champions, and who I can intentionally invest in over the next six months.

“Do for one what you wish you could do for everybody.” – Andy Stanley

5.  What can my pastor do to help or empower me?

This keeps me realistic in my expectations, helpful to the whole team, and gives me the vocabulary to have courageous conversations with my team leader. When I meet with him/her I am not rambling for what I need this week and something different next week. It keeps me focused for a bit of dreaming without being a high-maintenance team member. It does the ministry no good to confuse my organizational team leader when it appears I am all willy-nilly in the needs of the ministry. I limit this to a list of only three items. One item is always something to pray for me.

“Self-evaluation and assessment should be a major part of our lives as believers.” Sunday Adelaja

Self-evaluation helps remind me of my why. It helps me see what is most important in the coming six months so I am not easily distracted by the busy stuff on the calendar. It offers evidence of meeting measurable goals. It gives clarity in how and what to best communicate to my team sold out for Jesus and little people. It lets me know who to invest in.

We certainly don’t serve the Lord for pats on the back, but everyone needs to know regularly they are doing a good or great job. If we know the importance of volunteer appreciation and practice it with words of affirmation, small tokens of appreciation, notes of encouragement, birthday celebrations, and the occasional afternoon tea at the local coffee house, wouldn’t we also wish to hear and experience these same practices as staff members? If you are not getting it, then prayerfully release the expectation of someone doing it for you. Take yourself to lunch and celebrate your ministry through self-evaluation!

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5

Children, on average, laugh 200 times per day. Adults laugh 15 to 18 times a day. Serving and leading little people can give you the chance to make up your laughter deficit. We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like brown eyes and blond hair, but a healthy sense of humor is a learned quality that is developed well in early childhood. Paul E McGhee, Ph.D. shares in Understanding and Promoting the Development of Children’s Humor, “Humor is a form of play. It is intellectual play or play with ideas.” A healthy sense of humor builds vocabulary, supports creative thinking, fosters social interaction skills, and promotes life skills necessary to cope with stress and hardships throughout the adolescent and adult years.

Early on, infants respond to physical stimuli like blowing raspberries or playing peek-a-boo. They enjoy silly faces and sounds and especially the faces of those they love. In the toddler years, visual humor is very funny. Making faces, putting on a silly hat, or using an ordinary item in an extraordinary way will have toddlers laughing out loud. When my grandson pushes the bubble mower, he is serious about mowing the yard, floor, or rug and he’ll hardly laugh. But empty the bucket of bristle blocks onto the floor and place the empty bucket on his head and he’ll run through the house squealing with delight. KidsHealth.org reports, “Anything that disrupts a pattern or expectation is funny to a toddler.” That explains how a diaper placed on your head, Daddy’s shoes worn by a preschooler, or knocking yourself on the head with a pillow and pretending to fall over will amuse your little one.

Other fun games you can play that will build a healthy sense of humor in a preschooler is Ring Around the Rosey, This Little Piggy, or Row, Roy, Row your….Car. Changing the lyrics of familiar songs will also make them laugh. As a preschooler’s vocabulary increases, so will opportunities to laugh.

Preschoolers are eager to show off new ways to be playful and they look to you for the proper response. One of the best ways to teach a healthy sense of humor is to be playful yourself. Be willing to be silly, wear odd hats, sing familiar songs with odd lyrics, and laugh along with them. Laugh well and laugh loud.

So the next time a bucket is emptied on the floor and your preschooler treats an object differently from its original purpose, be ready to laugh with your preschooler. You just might have a future stand-up comedian in your presence or a kid who can deal with whatever life throws at him/her in the most healthy response. So what should be your response? Full on belly laugh. Be a laughter encourager. Life skills, indeed.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31: 25