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Monthly Archives: October 2019

Parenting With A Purpose: Technology

29 Tuesday Oct 2019

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With the goal of building tribes among our children’s families with shared values and intentionality, we’ve begun offering Parenting with a Purpose classes this school year. The 90-minute classes include a parenting hot-topic, some dessert, discussion time, and no judgment.  The first was Sharing Your Faith With Your Family where we shared practical ideas for holding sacred conversations, spiritual traditions, and sticky faith-formation memories for parents to initiate at home to live out Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

The second class entitled, Parenting Technology and Cell Phone Safety, invited parents, grandparents, and caregivers of children to a discussion of practical ideas to navigate parenting in a digital and electronic world as we lead families to live out Mark 12:30-31. Two hours before the event, I received a text. Our planned special guest was at Urgent Care diagnosed with strep throat. I had two hours to pull something together.

Once I caught my breath, I called on a prayer warrior to pray for me and with me. I had been reading several books on the very subject over the last several months and had just gotten one in the mail a couple of days before. I prepared a handout with a few of the items I’d underlined in each one. We opened with “What was your first experience with a cell phone?” and our discussions took over from there. These were the resources we spoke through:

  • Collin Kartchner – TEDxTalk a social media activist, TEDx talk presenter, husband and dad who travels around the country speaking to parents and kids through the organization Save The Kids.
  • The Screens and Teens by Dr.Kathy Koch
  • Glow Kids by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras
  • Viral Parenting by Mindy McKnight 
  • Kirk Cameron – Right Now Media “Engage”; Netflix “Connect”
  • Smart Phone Sanity by The Axis Team (newest book with practical exercises)

A few questions to ask to find out if your child is mature enough to figure out the best habits for themselves when it comes to Smartphone usage:

  • Does my child proactively let me know where they are going and when they’ll be home?
    This is a great way to gauge their sense of responsibility and the respect they have for open communication.
  • Does my child have a tendency to lose things?
    Phones are an expensive investment and showing a sense of care for their personal belongings means they’ll also show care for their phone.
  • Does my child respect other rules like when to turn off the TV or computer?
    Knowing your child understands why boundaries are necessary can help quiet the fear of phone addiction and over exposure to radiation/blue light.
  • Does my child show signs of empathy towards their siblings, animals and friends?
    While we all love our little darlings, it’s important to observe the way they treat others in real life. The hope is that they will carry empathy and kindness with them with their online activities.
  • Does my child know that while most people are awesome, there are people with bad intentions that prey on the young online? 
    While this is a super scary and complicated topic, having open and honest conversation about these risks and how to spot red flags is the best way to prepare any child from online predators.
  • Does my child know they can come talk to me about anything? 
    While there are years when teens and parents can feel the strain of communication we must let our children know and show them that we can be a safe space for them when they need us, to help or just to listen—even with the tricky and scary stuff.

Though not what I had planned, the event was fine. The goal of tribe-building without judgement was met. In complete transparency, this is the second time a special guest committed to me in the last six months, but was not able to follow through at the last minute. From this point on, I’ll prepare a backup program every time because my parents who have registered see these opportunities as a priority over all the other things they could choose. They deserve the best I have to offer and my job is to make sure they get it.

“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” Proverbs 19:21

Church Stewardship Season and Children

22 Tuesday Oct 2019

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Each fall every church I’ve ever served has presented a teaching campaign for stewardship for the congregation. The campaign would have a theme, a date of commitment, mailings, emails, sometimes a book to read, perhaps testimonies to encourage folks to consider their obedience of regular giving to the local church according to the scriptures. I’ve learned that if we can teach the holy habit of generosity to children as part of their discipleship it follows the scripture, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Teaching our children God’s way of handling money is a life skill taught best by the family, so let’s give our families the promptings and tools to do so.

This year the children K5-5th grade received an offering folder with the following teaching attached:
“For God so loved the world that HE GAVE…” John 3:16
GOD GAVE his son Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins. JESUS GAVE his life so that when we believe and choose to follow him so closely we become more like him, we are better at life. It is wise to teach our children to be wise and generous. Teaching is best learned when practiced and shared with our families.
As the McEachern Memorial UMC family is asked to make a commitment (promise) financially to support the church each year, children are included. In its most simple form, stewardship is taking care of the world and the church on behalf of God.
Invite your kids to serve the family and their neighbors to earn dollar bills toward a $20 goal and return the folders by Sunday, November 10 or when your family is able.
Generosity Conversation Starters:
• How do you think God wants us to take care of the church?
• How are we ministers to others for Jesus?
• What are some ways the church can help take care of the world?
• What are some things you can do to help the church in its ministry?
• What can you do to help take care of God’s world?
• How can I be generous with my family?

The sense of belonging to a community is an important aspect of faith development for children (and all ages). This can be an asset in exploring how we use what God has given us to include creation, abilities & talents and resources (financial and relational).

Children need approval of family, friends and teachers and hands-on exploration of concepts, being able to relate Bible stories to their lives and the issues of today. It is important that we encourage questioning and exploration, while sharing our own faith and understanding of stewardship in an honest, open way.

One’s understanding of personal stewardship is a continuing journey that should begin in childhood. Most children already have a sense of wonder of how to respond with thanksgiving to God who created them and the world in which they live.

Generosity, charity, sharing, Thanksgiving and abundance are reinforced in many of the themes found in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Be encouraged to think about how to use your gifts and how to be more generous as an example to our children. Because we serve a generous God, we should grow in our generosity.

How are the children involved in your local church’s stewardship campaign?

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7

Better Together

15 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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Yesterday was our monthly children’s ministry networking lunch. Two weeks ago, I and another kidmin champion drove an hour and a half to another district’s children’s ministry networking lunch. I learned and discovered several things that will be game-changing for me. I always do!

Two weeks ago… I learned how a QR code might be the answer to offering free registration links to VBS and other special events for our families who receive assistance through Backpack Blessings, Food Pantry, and other outreaches from our local church; Nerf Wars; planning scheduled 18 months out; low birth years; upcoming Children’s Ministry Institute dates for 2020.

Yesterday… We talked Christmas Eve family programs with silhouettes, cowbells, bags, headbands, musical dramas, and themes; Safe Sanctuary and updating staff policies for staff hired under the age of 21; fall festivals in October; Hoedowns in November; nursery staff; organizational science; job descriptions; recreation ministry; fall retreat registration hard deadlines; 2020 Wonderfully Made events where we can share the event with smaller churches and diverse locations; profiles for volunteers (in response to a speaker from Catalyst Conference); and so much more.

I can’t imagine having to come up with every new idea, re-inventing the wheel for every event, or doing ministry well without the input of other voices and experiences. These folks are the most creative people I know and I need face-time with them. Table life with them. We are better together! Just this last weekend, three of our churches gathered for the first annual Family Campout sharing kayaks, meal duties, tents, cabins, water, s’mores, communion on Sunday morning (clergy camped, too!), hikes, games, lingering beside a campfire or the lake.

There are several of us who share events like the Family Campout on a regular basis. What’s next? The Friday before Christmas is an early-release day from school so we’ve planned a Christmas Faith Field Trip. Five of us will take our 3rd-5th graders to meet up at Red Top Mountain for putt-putt golf, play, and some caroling practice. Then on to one church to prepare food boxes. We’ll all deliver food boxes to families in an area which receives summer lunches in a flash mob of Christmas carols. Then we’re off to pick up hot-dog or pizza-slice dinner at the local Costco to break out in song again. Really! Costco on the Friday night before Christmas! Next stop? Festival of lights in a town nearby. Afterwards we’ll all finish the night at another church for hot chocolate and reindeer games before each church heads home. We’ll basically be covering our entire district from 2-10pm. One of the kidmin leaders was even able to secure a grant to provide for the food items for the food boxes. Yeah, we’re better together.

Who are you sharing life and ministry with?

“One of the factors of the most resilient is meaningful relationships.” David Kinnaman, President of Barna Group, from a 2019 Catalyst talk, “Faith for Exiles”

Postcard Hospitality

08 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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Each quarter, I check to see who’s missing from recent Sunday mornings because Sunday morning is game day. Sunday morning is when the Body of Christ is the fullest it’s going to be all week in one place. Kids see people of all ages and all stages best on Sunday morning. They enjoy the rituals and regular practices from the Lord’s Prayer in the worship service to the greeters who hold the door open with a smile at their regular entrance after parent’s/caregiver’s park in their regular space. Sunday morning matters. If kids are missing on consecutive Sundays, it’s the perfect time to write post cards.

Kids can’t get the online newsletter. Kids can’t scroll through Facebook to see what’s going on. Kids typically don’t listen to church podcasts or sermons online. Kids can’t drive themselves to church and frankly, most don’t know what’s going on from day to day unless they’re told ahead of time. So I send postcards. Handwritten postcards. Handwritten addresses and notes saying, “I miss you! Mrs. G is your Sunday school teacher this month and I know how much you really like her. Small groups start at 9:30am, but you can come early. I hope to see your awesome smile soon.” Then I print my name. Many kids are not taught cursive writing today, so I hand print everything.

Ordering the postcards from 123print.com or vistaprint.com, I make the postcard a solid color and our ministry logo in white. I change the solid color each year just for fun. I send postcards for a whole host of reasons, but quarterly, especially to those who’re missing.

Last week I mailed 20 postcards. On Sunday, I saw the awesome smiles of ten who received last week’s postcards. I only mentioned it to one parent, but I made a big deal out of them coming as I do for everyone else. Greeting matters.

One of the five pillars of our ministry is that kids know they belong. Letting them know they were missed tells them they belong. It’s an easily-accomplished level of extravagant hospitality. And kids love mail!

“And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” Matthew 18:5

Messy Family Event with Confidence

01 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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Glee Club and Cherub Choir are invited to sing in the last service on the fifth Sunday of a month. This opens an opportunity to engage in a family event to follow where new and connected families bump elbows and build relationships.

Using an abbreviated Messy Church model, we move to engaging station experiences in the gym after the first part of the general worship service in the sanctuary. We close the event with a simple meal at round tables sharing table life and great conversation. The Glee Club had been practicing two songs (a song must have the name of Jesus said at least three times to qualify to be sung in the sanctuary) and chose the one they wanted to present: Confidence by Sanctus Real. The Bible stories of Daniel, Moses, and David were the basis for our station experiences. Here’s what we did:

Schedule 11am Sanctuary service
11:15am Cherubs sing on front of stage
11:25am Glee Club sings CONFIDENCE by Sanctus Real
11:30am Instructions of stations
12:00noon Repeat after me prayer for lunch
12:30pm Family blessing
Dismiss & Cleanup

Stations set up on long tables along the 3 walls of the gym. (8 Stations below)

Round tables set up in the center for dining and setting down of family stuff. Tables assigned up to 8 members.
Repeat after me prayer……(DeDe)
Lunch…2 serving tables with 4 serving lines along long, narrow tables
Signups for: Spaghetti in crock pots, Rolls, Shake cheese, Iced water
Children’s Ministry provides: Paper products (forks, cups, plates, napkins)

Station #1 – Decorate bag to carry goodies home
Supplies: White paper bags, twistable crayons
Discussion: Tell me what you know about Daniel? About David? About Moses?
Try to get to all 8 stations, but take your time.

Station #2 – Decorate an altar cloth for the altar table in the Treehouse
Supplies: Table runner, Sharpies
Activity: Trace your feet with a sharpie and write “Hope” inside each foot.
Discussion: In Exodus 3, Moses faces the burning bush and the voice of God tells Moses to take off his sandals because Moses is on holy ground.” Take off your shoes and have a family member trace your foot on the cloth and write HOPE inside your tracing.
Just as God told Moses to GO and lead His people out of the Egypt to worship God in the desert, God tells us to GO and tell others about Jesus.
What do you know about Jesus?

Station #3 – Put together an Operation Christmas Child Shoebox
Supplies: Scotch tape
Activity: Put together two shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child
Discussion: Have you started even thinking about Christmas?
Sharing with others takes planning and time to get ready especially at Christmas.
What three things can you plan to get for your Christmas Child?

Station #4 – Prayer Rocks
Supplies: Rocks, Sharpies
Activity: Write the names of your family on your prayer rock to prayer for each one.
Discussion: Daniel has a great FAITH because he learned to pray 3 times a day, every day, even when it was against the law. He even opened the windows and didn’t hide his prayer time. He was even thrown into a lions den for breaking the law, but GOD took care of him by closing the mouth of the lions. Do you pray 3 times a day, every day? Prayer rocks are a great reminder to pray for your family who loves you so. Where is your favorite place to pray? When do you like to pray? Where can you put your prayer rock to remind you to talk to Jesus in prayer for your family who loves you so?

Station #5 – Family of God Photo Station
Supplies: Backdrop for a photo station (frame, fall decorations, etc.), Insta Camera, Film
Activity: Take a picture with your family.
Discussion: Moses, Daniel, and David were prepared as kids to lead others to know our great God. God is preparing YOU to lead others to know our great God. God first gave us the family we live with, and then gave us a church family who loves us, leads us to remember Jesus, and teach us how to love and live with others. Tell me about how you first came to church? What is your favorite thing about church? Who are some of your church friends?

Station #6 – I Can Face My Giants with Confidence
Supplies: Giant in boxes, Catapults with balls (borrowed from another church…the blessings of being part of a regular networking group!)
Activity: Knock down the giant
Discussion: We all have to face hard stuff every day: fear, anxiety, getting in trouble, unkindness, grades, teachers, coaches, games. We can call these giants because they can take up giant spaces in our minds and hearts=worry. God is with us and He ‘turns all things GOOD for those who love Him.’ What are ways God gives us to deal with our giants so we don’t worry? (read your Bible, talk with your parents, talk with someone who can help (not just anybody), pray…)

Station #7 – Heart Like David
Supplies: Wooden heart shapes, Magnets on sticky tape, Glue dots
Activity: Decorate heart and stick on magnet
Discussion: In the Bible God calls David ‘a man after God’s own heart’. Even as a kid, David trusted God to make the best decisions for David and to ‘work all things for GOOD’ for David. We can get so overwhelmed and anxious that we forget to have a heart like David to trust God. We just stay overwhelmed and anxious. Even as a kid David faced a bear, a lion, and even the giant, Goliath and God showed up and showed off. Put this heart somewhere at your house to remind you to have a heart like David and let the Lord be your defense. What do you think about that?

Station #8 – Prayer Station
Supplies: Paper heart shapes, Clothes pins, ink pens, Prayer frame
Activity: Write a prayer and clip it to the frame
Discussion: God hears the prayers of His children! Sometimes God answers, “Yes.” Sometimes God answers, “No”. Sometimes God answers “Not now.” Do you have something really big you’d like to ask God in prayer? Something you pray about over and over and often? Write it on the paper heart (fold it over if you want) and clip it to the frame and we will pray it with you. Did you know your church loves you so much we want to pray with you, too? David prayed. Moses prayed. Daniel prayed. And they started as kids. What is your biggest, hairiest, most audacious, most outrageous prayer?

“Give me faith like Daniel in the lion’s den. Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness. Give me a heart like David. Lord be my defense, so I can face my giants with confidence.” Sanctus Real

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