My 10yo grandson has discovered the 1990s sitcom Family Matters. In every episode I hear him laughing his head off at some funny statement or situation of neighbors being neighbors and family being family.

I love the Christian family. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and savior, we get family. We get brothers and sisters, spiritual mothers and fathers, and lots of little people who make up the local Body of Christ we are constantly delighted by their joy and wonder in Christ all around the world.

What do we do with this new family? How are we to relate to one another as Christians? 

• Brothers & Sisters – All humans are image-bearers of our great and creative God, but only those who trust in Jesus Christ, God’s only son, are our brothers and sisters in the faith according to Romans 8:29; Romans 9:8; 1 John 3:1-3; and Hebrews 2:9-13, “Here am I, and the children God has given me.” (Hebrews 12:13b)
• Co-workers for Jesus – 1 Corinthians 3:5-10 “For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.” (vs 9)

How are we responsible to one another as Christians?

• We are to pray for one another – 2 Timothy 1:3; 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 “We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.” (vs 1)
• We are to minister to each other physically – Galatians 6:10; Romans 12:13 “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
• We are to minister to each other spiritually – Galatians 6:1-2; Hebrews 13:3; Romans 15:1-2 “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good; to build them up.” (vs 1)
• We are to encourage and edify one another – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Encourage one another and build each other up.
• We are to serve one another with humility – Matthew 20:25-28; Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (vs 3)

What is my attitude to be toward other Christians?

• Love them – John 3:14-16; 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all love each other deeply.”
• Be patient with them – Romans 15:5-7, “Accept one another as Christ accepted you.”
• Be sensitive to their needs – James 2:15-16; 1 John 3:17-18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (vs 18)
• Be forgiving of each other – Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13, Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

How do Christians share life in biblical fellowship with one another?

• In prayer – 2 Corinthians 1:11, favor is granted to us in answer to the prayers of many.
• In faith – Romans 1:12, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.
• In ministry – 2 Corinthians 8:4; Galatians 2:9 the privilege of sharing in service.
• In suffering – Philippians 3:10; 1 Peter 4:13, 5:1 “Rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ. One who will share in the glory to be revealed.”
• True biblical fellowship is in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ first and foremost – 1 John 1:3-7; 1 Corinthians 1:9-10 “God who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord is faithful.” (vs 9)

When we choose to follow Jesus, we’re related to others all around the world who follow Jesus. Personalities can still clash and wrongs will still happen. As Christians we have to respond differently though not all offenses can be resolved this side of Heaven.

The above teachings were part of a lesson about other Christians in Biblical Discipleship I participated in in 1996 in New England. I’d give credit if the documents I’ve kept on my shelf were marked with copyright or anything else. What I do know is that I’ve gone to these scriptures and these discipleship teachings almost monthly, if not weekly, to remind me that I am part of a family: the family of God. This is how we are to live together as the Body of Christ.

The church is an historical organization which has endured more than 2,000 years of chaos, strife, conflict, and the horrors of evil openly hostile to the things and people of Jesus. Yet the Bride of Christ still stands as a critical means of growth for the health of all Christians. Theologian Krista Bontrager shares, “When you are born (accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior) into the family of God, the local church is your family. You have a weird uncle, a crazy aunt, and brothers and sisters you didn’t ask for. But these are your people!” Thank you, Theology Mom.

“The disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.” Acts 11:26b

Family Ministry: A Holistic Approach was a breakout session led by Kathleen Jaoudi at the 2023 Children’s Pastors Conference. Wearing 3D glasses, she invited us to look at ministry with families through a different lens. Not the silo-ed lens of post-Young Life to the present, but generational discipleship for today.

Using a pie chart, she shared a model for intentional focus in six key areas. In these six key areas, you probably are already doing a good bit. Grouping what you are already doing might offer some insight for what to edit and what to shore-up.

First, she said that all ministry is Family Ministry. Agreed. Family Ministry is a process rather than a program with the goal of operating as a full Body of Christ in your local church. Agreed even more. Here are the six key areas:

Milestones: Milestones we make are the developmentally appropriate teachings of our faith symbols, rituals, and holy habits; Milestones we mark are the remarkable moments of life to commemorate the work of God in our family’s life in ways that we did not see coming.

Educational: The intentional building of educational experiences for some and for all. Ex: CLUB345, K2Club, Sunday school, Missions lunches, bringing in a special speaker, etc.

Caring: This is the congregational care of sharing life in grief and celebration; food ministry; new babies; hospital stays, etc.

Parent Equipping: Helping along the way in bite-sized pieces for resources, special events, emails, social media, etc. Ex: My son told me that a website is too much info and no one has time to get lost down a hole of too much information. But providing weekly resources in bite-sized pieces by email or social media posts make for a much easier application.

Family of Families: This is what we do to fill the holes of families, Jesus Loves You Boxes, prayer, moving, car care, Lent Dine-outs, mentoring, coaching, etc.  

Families in Service: Multi-generational opportunities to serve others and one another, family mission trips, hospitality, family VBS, cleaning and/or building spaces, Great Day of Service, delivering, collecting, donating, etc.

Christina Embree is the founder and creator of ReFocus Ministry. She presented at the most recent Bible Creatives Online Conference about the pillars of creating a plan for generational discipleship: Institutional, Spatial, Technological, and Relational. 

As I’m still processing how to incorporate these pillars within this family ministry pie, I really like her vocabulary: Generational Discipleship. I’ve spent some time with her and I really like her plan for intentionally setting the table for folks in at least three generations and sharing the life of the gospel through everyday discipleship in ways that all can engage in a life of faith in Jesus.

Whatever we call it, we know that the purpose of the church is to equip the saints for ministry. Equipping Christians is the one thing we are called to do. Everything else is good, but equipping Christians to live as Christians in the world is what we are to do no matter what. Let’s have a plan for it, let’s set the table for it, let’s push beyond the awkward, and quit protecting turf that we imagine is there because we can’t imagine anything else. I’m putting on my imagination hat!

“But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations.” Psalm 102:12

All of my training in Christian Education came from the amazing Christian Educators who invited me to their tables, the authors who invited me into their experiences, and the Lord who taught me early through the scriptures, “If you can extract the precious from the worthless then you can be my spokesman.” Jeremiah 15:19

We think when we’re hired on staff at a local church or faith-based organization it’s all kumbaya and glitter. Sometimes it is. But we have an enemy who fights dirty. An enemy set on driving wedges between God’s people to pull God’s house down leaving scars and scabs of cuts by stained glass where no one sees due to this enemy’s number one weapon: deception.

This is spiritual warfare and if we intend on standing firm, being courageous, doing what is right in God’s eyes, over the long haul, we must armor-up. The battle is not a power struggle, but a truth struggle. How do we armor-up? In the truth of God’s word.

Ephesians 6:11, “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” These schemes are plots and plans to distract, detract, and deflect from God’s truth. 

• The belt of truth buckled (vs 14) – Buckles fasten by filling holes for a tight fit. What holes of truth need filling in your belt? Reading and studying God’s truth in community over time is the plan. It’s not fast nor quick, but it is a thorough plan. 
• The breastplate of righteousness in place (vs 15) – A breastplate in place guards our heart, because our feelings can’t be trusted to know what is right in God’s eyes. Go with what you know is true and not with how you feel.
• Feet ready with the gospel of peace – Do you know the gospel well enough to go and share it? Don’t guess the gospel. Learn it. Practice it. Tell it every chance you get and pray for opportunities. Our faith is based on an historical fact so it’s not intuitive. We must be ready to share the gospel in truth and gentleness for the purposes of telling our world of the Prince of Peace.
• Shield of faith which extinguishes all the flaming arrows of the evil one (vs. 16) – Oh the evil one is coming and he’ll annoy and scare the daylights out of you with not just arrows, but flaming arrows. Do you know the sights, sounds, and smells of the enemy in spiritual warfare? If we are in this for the long haul, we’d better.
• Helmet of salvation (guard your mind) and the sword of the Spirit (God’s word) – Be saved and be sharpened by God’s word. All of it. 

The first time I was in the thick of spiritual warfare, I didn’t know what it was. I just thought people didn’t like me. On this side of perseverance I know what it sounds like, smells like, feels like, tastes like, and looks like. My Spirit is on guard and I armor-up.

The first book I read about spiritual warfare was after reading about workplace bullying: The Three Battlegrounds. This small 171-page book taught me much about the schemes of the enemy. I’ve purchased many copies and shared them all along the journey.

Even with spiritual armor, we will suffer bruises (tender spots which can make us weepy), broken bones (reset and casted by the love of God’s people in community), and scars (reminders of the stories of God’s faithfulness and mercy.) I think we should do more to teach of the theology of suffering and church history. What faithful American Christians endure today as ‘suffering’ is nothing compared to those who have gone before us to further the cause of Christ.

When the battle is especially loud I pray, “Lord, don’t let me sin in this,” and I pull out my Bible even more alongside a ring of index cards filled with God’s word. This ring of scriptures was started when I accepted my first position on staff and it’s grown over almost thirty years.

Our enemy is a crafty one and as my heart and mind have grown in the truth, the flaming arrows came often and seemingly out of nowhere. The Lord taught me when to ride it out and when to just ride out. He indeed turns all things for good for those who love Him.

You are a warrior for Christ. When we humbly submit to His authority and the truth of His word, we will honor the saints who have gone before us for the cause of Christ. Learning about spiritual warfare while in the midst of the emotional toll it takes is so much harder than learning about it ahead of time and learning to armor-up.

As the prophet Jeremiah told the exiles in Jeremiah 29, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God has plans. Our job is to be prepared. Preparation includes armoring-up for the battle we’ll face along the way.

“On the day I called, You answered me; You increased strength within me.” Psalm 138:3

There is too much going on in my brain and on my calendar. You, too?

Children’s ministry folk are fast pivoters and quick on our feet to adapt and edit. Yet once I make the February turn and the closer I get to summer, I’m feeling the pressure of meeting expectations and the many ‘good’ distractions that take longer than they should to settle, and it’s Lent, and Sunday keeps coming, and Tuesday keeps coming.

How do I try to get it all done? If ‘all’ is this week, I’ve found a plan that works as a good boundary model. As in all models, stuff happens, but as far I can manage, this is my plan each week:

Sundays – A full work day; set the alarm for super early so I have time to arrive early and schedule others to arrive just as early to get the ball rolling to be able to face the day’s activities with joy and margin for a pivot if necessary. Sunday is game day! If there is no additional afternoon/evening programming, afternoons are filled with admin work – attendance; expense processing; placing orders; cleaning up; packing away; staging for the next thing. No one else is typically in the office so I have uninterrupted access to the copy machine.

Mondays – Communication day by emails/postcards/notes/letters; reports; writing; texts, list-making; social media scheduling; zoom calls.

Tuesdays – In-person and on campus meeting day (staff & lead staff & hallway meetings) since everyone is on campus; lunch meeting; evening Kids Bible study.

Wednesdays – Study and collaboration day at home office or travel day. Podcasts and Audible let even a travel day be a study day; writing and reading; social media scheduling; consults.

Thursdays – In-person and on campus morning Bible study; Sunday prep; lunch meeting; team one-on-ones; Lenten dine-outs; in summer this is generational discipleship event night like Family VBS.

Fridays – Personal Sabbath to do what reminds me that God is good and I am His.

Saturdays – The only day with my honey who is only off on the weekend, so I guard the daylights out of Saturdays.

Two additional priorities:

1. At least two days each week I sleep until I wake up, meaning no alarm and nowhere to be in the morning. Sleep is one of my holy habits. According to James Bryan Smith’s Good & Beautiful God, ‘sleep is an act of surrender.’ “The number one enemy of Christian spiritual formation today is exhaustion. We are living beyond our means, both financially and physically.” “Sleep is a perfect example of the combination of discipline and grace.” (p 33-34)
2. A subscription to Audible helps me hone the skills necessary for effective and changing ministry. Not only is it good for listening to books, but there is a whole list of classes included in The Great Courses and free-on-Audible books. Just last month I freely listened to The 6 Habits of Growth, How to Say It: Words that Make A Difference, Pivot and Pursue It, and How to Negotiate at Work. 

I went on my Walk to Emmaus in 2000. My walk was a tipping point for how I lived out my life as a disciple of Jesus and my calling to ministry. If I don’t set my priorities, my priorities will be set by someone and something else. There are indeed times when I have to submit to someone else setting my priorities. But I have a plan and do my very best to make my week work for me rather than the other way around.

How do you make your week work for you?

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18