It is the call on every Christian to be Jesus-disciple-makers. Parents and grandparents are on the frontline of Jesus-disciple-making, yet where do they start? How do they fit in one more thing among laundry, grocery-shopping, school, extracurricular, and dentist appointments? This is where we come in, the local church family ministry champions, to lock elbows, share prayer space, and resource families to bring Jesus into what they are already doing.

There wasn’t near as much out there to help Christian families navigate discipling their families in the 1990s. As a young mom I recall four books which, partnered with the Bible and my local church, helped me most along my way:
Tim Keller’s Little House on the Freeway: Help for the Hurried Home
Lisa Whelchel’s Creative Correction
Kevin Leman’s Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
Mom, You’re Incredible (white book with teal MOM on the cover and have no idea who wrote it, but it was a game-changer!) Do you sense a theme?

Today there are so many options and not near enough time for parents to curate the best, the most practical to help them as they are in the trenches of everyday. Let’s face it, there is just too much information at the end of our fingertips to go deep into anything so they are overwhelmed and just too tired. Again, this is where we come in.

I just finished the best 163 pages I’ve read this year for equipping those devoted to discipling their own families. Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin of The Village Church offer in Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones a practical framework of bringing Jesus into what most families are already doing in all seasons of a child’s life.

Published in August 2020, this resource provides today’s family leaders with the sigh of relief that not all family discipleship practices are enjoyed; some are endured. But, ‘our role is to plant seeds of truth, water them, and pray that God will give them life and growth as we trust in his goodness and mercy over all our shortcomings.’ (pg 21)

“You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like him and leading others to do the same.” (pg 30)

In the community of family, we learn best to prepare meals, serve one another, establish rules for living, protect ourselves from dangers, celebrate, and practice academic and social skills. We also learn to become more like Jesus in this community together through time (thinking about, talking about, and living out the good news of Jesus in holy habits), moments (leveraging those daily moments of life which are developmentally appropriate), and milestones (marking and making the remarkable moments of life wrapped in God’s presence and faithfulness to His people.) Each chapter offers the author’s experiences and time plans for those of us who like lists and boxes to fill in.

Time: Rather than thinking everything should be a Broadway production, lower your expectations and think about the positive, cumulative effect of holy habits over time such as Bible reading, devotional time, scripture memory, meals, prayer, worship, and service and how modeling that behavior in the adult’s life is the best teacher.
“A child disciple of Jesus Christ is a child who loves God, loves people, and imparts what God has revealed to them to others. You love what you know.” (pg 43)

Moments: Being attentive and alert to opportunities to talk about the attributes of God, foundational truths about who God is and who they are, and how God’s word is a treasure to explore and discover. As a teacher and family discipleship coach, my favorite pages were pages 122-130…so rich in practicality and narrowing down the spiritual building blocks for living as an exile in today’s culture.

Milestones: Acknowledging God’s work and faithful presence in the remarkable moments of life like births, death, losses, disappointments, driver’s licenses, graduations, starts and ends of school years, heirlooms, new homes, etc. It is in the milestones where there is a ‘tremendous opportunity to extend the discipleship process to your child’s extended family, friends, neighbors, and biblical community’ (pg 136). There are pages of examples at the end of this chapter to simply make events that are already happening spiritually memorable.

As leaders for ministry with families in the local church, we are neither event planners nor community center coordinators. We are family discipleship coaches! D6 Family Ministry shared in a December meme for the local church champions in ministry with children and families: “Good equippers do it like Jesus did it; recruit twelve, graduate eleven, and focus on three.” So glad I have a new calendar with all that white space.

“I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.” 2 John 4

Listen to this blog on the In The Trenches Podcast with DeDe Reilly here.

Ephesians 4:11-12 calls the local church to ‘equip His people for works of service, SO THAT (emphasis mine) the body of Christ may be built up.’ Ministry leads do not manage volunteers; we equip the saints for good works of service. We have the privilege of inviting God’s people into His call on every believer’s life: to share the gospel and use their gifts and skills to share that gospel.

We are invited to provide an environment where people can practice their skills and gifts to share the gospel in their world. To do so, we build relationships of trust in the areas of…

Information
• God’s people should be able to trust the systems in place so they are each super successful. I ask myself, “Will my siblings in Christ have such a great experience with the systems in place, they will want to continue to grow in their service to God’s people”?
• They should be able to trust the resources and schedule will be provided in a timely manner for them to be successful.
• They should be able to trust the vocabulary used to communicate information will be consistent with the vocabulary of the local culture. The first thing Jesus did when he called his disciples was to teach them. 1 Timothy 4:6 reads, “Be trained in the words of the faith.” 

Connection
• Walt Disney said, “Everything we do tells a story.” I say that, “Everything our servant leaders do tells God’s story as part of their story.” Connections through relationship, not meetings, invite people to see God’s working in their lives.
• They should be able to trust in my leadership reputation: planner, honest, cheerleader, speak well of them, honor my family/spouse/children, even-tempered, joyful. Do they enjoy being around me, do I help them listen to their Holy Spirit and give them earned-freedoms in programming? Am I accessible/available/honorable/helpful/kind? Do I model a disciple of Jesus to the best of my ability? Am I a prayer warrior or an event planner?
• Co-lead a Bible study, be faithful to a small group of fellow disciples, growing in my own personal discipleship.

Inspiration
• Most ministry takes place not in programming, but in being present where the disciples are: worship services, other ministry special events, and asking, “Where can I help?” Oswald Chambers wrote, “A call is always preceded by a need.” Beth Moore wrote, “Until you know what you’re called to do, do what you are NEEDED to do.” (Entrusted). No, you can’t do everything, but you can do some things easily well, like be present where folks have access to you in Christian community.
• In Ministry Architects’ Sustainable Children’s Ministry leads do well in recruiting if they (1) pray, (2) start early, (3) identify matches (not just fill a hole set my me, but rather ask myself ‘what’s in my hands?’), (4) make a list, and (5) make contact. The best way to make contact is to be where people are (refer to the bullet point above).
• What if we tithed 10% of our time each week in growing our relationships with the people we are called to equip? We can do this by phone, ministry of presence, text, email, social media, etc. No ulterior motive, but by asking, “How can we share life so well as disciples of Jesus that we both are growing our faith together?”

Celebration
• Share in the remarkable moments of life, not just the spiritual milestones of what takes place inside the walls, but rather inside their hearts.
• There are five love languages, and four languages of appreciation in the workplace. When I taught weekday preschool I told the parents, “My first goal for the first week is to find out (1) What makes your child tick, and (2) What ticks them off.” Adults are like that, too. Be a student of your servant leaders, not just the manager.

The goal of leading a team of servant leaders is to equip God’s people for works of service. The whipped cream? To make their experience such a good experience that ‘surely goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives’ SO THAT WE ALL dwell in the house of the Lord … together … forever. Amen.

How can you provide a better experience in your environment to equip God’s people for works of service? 

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ, Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10