On what and where can we focus our learning to take us to the next level of professionalism and success AND build our perseverance muscles? When we begin our seasons of local church ministry, we only know what we know. It’s what we DON’T know that can take our legs out from under us and leave us paddling for our ministry lives. Another theme for Advent and a reading plan for Lent will not cut it.

“Ministry leaders are more likely to survive when they know what they are getting into and how to navigate the challenges.” p. 138 from When Women Lead: Embrace Your Authority, Move Beyond Barriers, and Find Joy in Leading Others.

Once you get to the point of lifting your head from the calendar and demands of ‘Sunday’s always coming’, a professional will realize the skills that got them the job will not lead them to a place of health and thriving without some additional skills. What else do we need to know?

In chapter 8 of When Women Lead, Rev. Dr. Carolyn Moore suggests an emphasis on focused, professional training in at least four major areas. I wrote of the first two in part 1 of this 2-part series which can be found here.

Here are two other areas of skill-building I totally agree with:

Vocational Development – training in identifying the right situation for each skill set, identifying coaches and mentors, and in networking. 

Resources:
Lead Like A Shepherd by Larry Osborne
Podcasts: Kids Ministry 101 by Lifeway, Lead Podcast by Josh Denhart, Small Groups in the Wesleyan Way by Discipleship Ministries
Fusion by Nelson Searcy
Connect by Nelson Searcy
Sustainable Children’s Ministry by Ministry Architects
Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations by Robert Schnase

One thing I did because of what I learned…

Before social media, the only local network of leaders I could get to was for lunch at quarterly CEF meetings (Christian Educators Fellowship) and the monthly tri-county Preschool Directors networking groups. I would attend with a legal pad of questions. While the participants stood in line for food, I’d go down the line and chat with folks to get answers to the most pressing questions because these were the professional Christian educators in the trenches and they were all in one place. Sometimes I actually ate lunch, but mostly not.

One thing I still do today because of what I learned…

Intentionally build relationships with new and experienced staff hired from the pew from across North Georgia. I make it a priority of gathering and collaborating with others in the trenches of the local church leading littles and bigs to Jesus. I make it a priority to schedule and drive to wherever my peers will gather in small groups to discover who has amazing skills in budgeting, staffing, volunteering, negotiating, special events, hospitality, church development, research, curriculum, resources, holy habits, child development, social media, and communication. I connect people for ministry in community.

I’m contacted almost weekly by healthy, great churches looking to build their team for ministry with children and families. Frankly, the pickings are slim because most folks won’t take the time to network and build relationships outside their current local church. As more churches re-org the organizational chart in the next 3-5 years, those who fail to build relationships through face-to-face networking, even occasionally, will regret it. We all need mentors, coaches, and door openers. Building relationships through face-to-face networking makes having all three so much easier and costs us nothing, but prioritizing the time to attend every opportunity that arises.

I’m also contacted almost monthly by hurt, broken, blindsided kidmin champions who never thought they’d be looking for a new position. Building relationships outside our own houses is a necessary priority. How can I help?

“Here’s a cold, hard fact: no one is going to advocate for you, your gifts, or your circumstances quite like  you will advocate for yourself, your gifts, and your circumstances.” When Women Lead, p. 149

Personal Development – training in time management and life rhythms

Resources:
Creating a Healthier Church by Ronald Richardson (this one kept me in ministry)
The Daily Drucker by Peter F. Drucker
Ministry Chick by Melissa Mashburn (I met the author because of a bodacious ask!)
Good to Great by Jim Collins (I’m quoting and living by this one almost every day)
Stride by Ken Willard (purposeful generational discipleship)
Attended and participated in the Walk to Emmaus movement (the recipe for living a life of grace)

One thing I did because of what I learned…

Schedule balcony time to set goals twice each year and unofficially edit my job description of the local church I’m serving each January. Setting goals go along with an overall discipleship pathway for an extended period of time and edit that to excellence. Editing my job description reminds me what I’m being evaluated on (the original job description for which I was hired) and what do I need to set aside that I’ve mysteriously inherited over the last year which is not my lane. This guards my heart and my head to spend my best time and creative energies to meet my priorities and take spiritual authority over my call to ministry for the next season.

One thing I still do today because of what I learned…all of the above.

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen” 2 Peter 3:18

Once we get to the point of lifting our heads from the calendar and demands of ‘Sunday’s always coming’, a professional will realize the skills that got us the job will not lead us to a place of health and thriving without some additional skills. What else do we need to know?

There was so much I really enjoyed in Rev. Dr. Carolyn Moore’s book I listened to it on Audible, as well. Filled with honorable storytelling and diligent fact-gathering, every turn of the page held greater weight for leading with authority and intentionality. This resource is for women AND men navigating the tension of what one naturally brings to the table and what is needed in reality.

Chapter 8: Equipping: Real-World Stuff Everyone Needs to Learn was the chapter of greatest interest for this less-than-formally-taught Christian Educator.  

Dr. Moore begins the chapter with the reminder that the ‘activity of strategy’ is what most church folk are looking for. But “until  I’ve done the foundational work of discovering my identity in Christ, of understanding what it means to take spiritual authority over my call, of making peace with the fact that I live in a fallen world, no amount of strategy will stick.” p. 137

If you are in this discovery, acceptance, and submission phase, I’m here for you. If you are lacking a liturgy for suffering, hurt, and perseverance to get you to the next place of perseverance, I’m here for you, too.

“Ministry leaders are more likely to survive when they know what they are getting into and how to navigate the challenges.” p. 138

Rev. Dr. Moore suggests an emphasis on focused, professional training in at least four major areas. I’ll list two below and add where I’ve discovered the most valuable for me.

Fund Development and Management – training in how to negotiate and financial leadership

Only the Lord knew that my dad’s insistence that I attend the local business college in finance the summer between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college would equip me with the language and rhythm of finance. Dr. Moore writes, “Discipleship gets real when we begin teaching and training in the area of money.”

Resources: 

Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey
Not Your Parent’s Offering Plate by J. Clif Christopher
Getting the Word Out: How to Market Your Ministry by Bunnie Jackson-Ransom

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned?

I was hired by a church to start a Family Ministry which included a weekday preschool and connections with the incoming students on the college campus on which the church was located. After six months the US economy tanked and the church leadership, led by retired professors, held their giving tightly. My salary had been provided for three years by an anonymous gift, but now there was no money for ministry. Looking at what was in my hand, I began selling hot pizza and cold Gatorades 10pm-1am Monday-Thursdays in the dorm parking lots to all the summer camps. I did this for all three summers I served there to fund the effective ministry for which I was hired.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned? 

I write thank you notes with stories twice each year to those who give to the children’s ministry designated account and other stakeholders in the ministry I’m responsible for. Without knowing the amount, I ask our financial lead for the list of donors who have given directly. Compiling stories in a google doc I’ll prepare a letter of thankfulness.  ‘Let me tell you how your investment in the kingdom is making a world of difference.’ 75% of the letter will be about the immediate past. 25% of the letter will be about the vision and plans for the upcoming season with an invitation to participate with their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness and bring your neighbors. This a best practice for all non-profits.

“Thankfulness strengthens relationships.” – Network for Good, LinkedIn

Leadership Development – training in team-based leadership

Resources:

The Servant by James C. Hunter
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek
Every book written by Patrick Lencioni
When Women Lead by Carolyn Moore
Small Groups For The Rest of Us by Chris Surrat

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned…

Years ago the only leadership development opportunities were led by and for Christian men, yet I still attended and brought other Christian women with me to such events at Catalyst, Children’s Pastors Conference, Drive, Stephen Covey, and read everything I could get my hands on about organizational leadership. I would start and lead Bible and book studies in small groups when I was available and when it would fit my own personal schedule. I hoped folks would come. They did. They do.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned:

I make it a priority to attend any free online training by people in the trenches, not just authors, such as She Leads Church (Christian women leaders in the marketplace and church space), Bible Creatives (those in the trenches of teaching Sunday school each week), and Children’s Pastors Conference (intentional leadership for me a disciple-maker AND as a disciple of Jesus).

Where have you received training in the areas of organizational money management and leadership development?

Next week I’ll cover the other two all-important skills Rev. Dr. Moore suggests. In the mean time, consider reading or listening to at least two books this summer in one of these areas especially if you intend on taking your ministry leadership to the next level and building those perseverance muscles.

“Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author, 1930-2009

During the quarantine, I researched the fruitfulness of VBS the way we’d always done it. Yes, we involved a slew of people to volunteer. Yes, we had crowds of kids in the hundreds. Yes, we threw everything we had at the walls, every wall, for an entire week. I found no new family connections for all that investment the traditional VBS way for us going back several years prior to 2020.

We had to do VBS differently in 2020. We chose a tailgate party with a jacked-up VBS large group for the families to enjoy at three different times on Thursday nights. Why Thursdays? Once everything returned (we really thought we’d be back in a few weeks) it would not interfere with other ministries returning. 

For the next 14 weeks, we gathered so our families ‘would not become accustomed to doing life without us’ after the initial 12 weeks of drive-thru family ministry every Tuesday at 1pm in March, April, and May. So we did parking lot family VBS every Thursday night in June, July, and August. The stage was a sidewalk. The classroom was their vehicle.

What happened? We had five new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner winner!

Summer 2021 rolled around and there lingered a continued caution. So we planned another Family VBS as a drive-in service playing games as a family, telling stories about Jesus, theming out each evening in June & July, dancing and singing praises to the Lord. We highlighted and involved a different ministry each night (ex: Men’s Ministry on Nerf Game Night). Five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner, winner!

Summer 2022 rolled around and we decided to continue this different Family VBS because (1) it was connectionally fruitful, (2) we didn’t need as many volunteers (still an issue today for almost everyone), (3) we added some table life to it through a generous donation to include a food truck each night and an ice cream truck going into neighborhoods immediately following and (4) we had one service to throw at it everything we had. 

What we learned from Family VBS 2022?

• The table life added more stress as only 3 out of 5 food trucks proved reliable.
• Including tables meant more volunteers and set up was a bear as take down had to be complete before moving on to anything else in the wicked heat.
• Rather than the tables being a space to engage as a family, it separated adults from their kids.
• Leaving to escort an ice cream truck into a local neighborhood meant some folks were left eating in the parking lot due to late food trucks. Missed hospitality.
• More families attended since it wasn’t in one single week, but were able to schedule out one or more of the 5 Thursdays in June and felt they didn’t miss a thing. Consistency matters.
• We had five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Still a connectional winner.

So what about 2023? 

We are doing Family VBS again because (1) it continues to be connectionally fruitful, (2) we don’t need as many volunteers and the volunteers can be different every week, (3) we are using a larger, shaded, grassy area which can be seen and heard from the street which is now available, (4) Using ReFocus Ministry’s generational discipleship curriculum: Talk Tools, (5) better stewardship of a decreasing budget, (6) we have 3 rounds of VBS training which explains our WHY and practices hospitality skills.

The schedule looks like this: “Building our faith this summer as we ‘serve one another humbly in love’” (Galatians 5:13)

5:45pm – Building stations w/art station, magnetile station, lego station, straws/connector station. In years passed we’d use consumables. This year, we will use items we can repurpose in the Welcome Center to better steward the VBS budget.

6:10pm – Assume-your-positions song: Take Me Back to Church by Cochren & Co.

6:15pm – Worship Music begins (start song: He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands – this year’s call to worship) with another song (we build a Spotify playlist w/VBS songs we curate)

6:20pm – Family games (provided by ReFocus) transitioning to story with a song

6:30pm – Bible story (always about Jesus)
6:35pm – Family response activity (by ReFocus)

6:45pm – Family affirmations (by ReFocus)

6:50pm – JumpStart3 Matthew 7:24-25 House On The Rock! closing song w/invite, “We’ve loved spending the evening together and would love to get to know you better. We’ll be packing everything up by 7pm and heading to ? restaurant for dinner and would love to have you join us.” We tested some dine-out locations during Lent and have made arrangements with local restaurants we’re going to. This lets us be a ‘good neighbor’ together.

Follow-up (setting the table for the next step in generational discipleship right quickly)

1. Sunday morning building our faith continues in June & July with Sign Language class for K5-2nd grades & Power Tool Building class for 3rd-5th graders. Looks like McEachern Academy.
2. Invites to various Christmas in July events in July aka Christmas caroling to shut-ins, snow machines, marshmallow games, Tall/Small Paint Party, Women’s Ministry potluck & sundae bar, Promotion Sunday, Prayer Warrior Bootcamp, National Ice Cream Sunday at the Gaga Ball pit.

If you are local or local enough and would like to bring a bus/van/car load of kids (your church kids or just the ones you live with) to see what it looks like, we’d love to have ya. We’ll take care of the programming.

I love VBS and all that it entails, if it’s fruitful and blesses the socks off littles and bigs alike. I also love doing generational discipleship which is fruitful and measurable. And I REALLY love dancing before the Lord in praise on Thursday nights with little people and their bigs. By the way, our Student ministry is handing out freeze pops each Thursday night at the end because building our faith through serving together is generational discipleship. Our Women’s Ministry small groups are rolling out the red carpet in as the hospitality team for each Thursday. Teamwork at its best!

“Serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

A beloved weekday preschool teacher passed away a few weeks ago after a long illness. A text from a long-ago colleague just last Saturday evening shared that a dad had unexpectedly passed away. Inquiries on kidmin social media groups are coming in almost weekly asking what do I do and what resources to provide when death takes a loved one, so I thought I’d put all that I’ve used in one place.

When a family I serve is expecting family to come to town for the service, I typically will drop off a couple of books along with multiple bags of various paper products: paper plates, toilet paper, paper towels, utensils, Ziploc bags, travel coffee cups, cold beverage paper cups, and trash bags.

When a family I serve is having to travel or arrangements have not been made, I’ll typically drop off a couple of books along with ice cream cones and a half-gallon of really good ice cream. No-mess and no-dishes, but a sweet treat for those late night conversations of ‘Where’s grandpa?”

What books? I keep several copies of each on my shelf because, well, you never know. Below are listed my favorites. Amber O’Neal Johnston, Heritage Mom, reminds me to choose books which are both windows and mirrors. I’m very mindful of ‘who’ passed away and ‘what’ that mirror should like in illustrations, so I’m always on the lookout for new books.

Someone I Loved Died by Christine Harder Tangvald –  A small paperback, this is a story with multiple places to draw and respond with images of a grandparent. “When one of God’s people dies, God moves the breath of life  back out of the body to a special place we call Heaven, a place we can’t see right now.”

When I’m With Jesus by Kimberly Rae – A small paperback, this story is told by a mom. “When someone you love is gone, you feel sad. Talk to Jesus about it. He understands. He had to leave His Father for a awhile and it was hard for Him, too.”

The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland – A short story which opens with a child losing a balloon. “But as sad as I am now. I can always get another balloon. But I can never have another you. I miss you.” The child gathers stories and items of remembrance, “I’m making a box so I won’t forget you, with our memories like sand from the beach where we played and left footprints as we ran from crashing waves.” 

Someday Heaven by Larry Libby – A beautiful book illustrated by Wayne McLoughlin which answers questions about Heaven with biblical backup: Where is heaven? How long does it take to get there? Will I need money in Heaven? Will it always be light in Heaven? Is there a beach in Heaven? It was this book which walked me through my grief when my Dad passed in 2005. I was scheduled to teach my 4th-6th grade girls Sunday school class the following Sunday. I was able to share with them what my daddy was doing while we were in Sunday school. The edition illustrated by Tim Jonke is extended and my personal favorite. I think every children’s ministry leader should have a copy of this and the other two books by Larry Libby, illustrated by Tim Jonke: Someone Awesome (Jesus) and Somewhere Angels. 

The Awesome Super Fantastic Forever Party by Joni Eareckson Tada – a hardback with whimsical illustrations describing Heaven and the new Heaven for really littles, “When Jesus comes back to this world, he will bring heaven with him. Heaven and earth will join together.”

Gone But Never Forgotten by Pamela Rae Hughey – a paperback of remembering a grandmother the children never knew yet their parents share memorable experiences about her. “”Where did she go? Will she ever come back?’ ‘No, she went to heaven to be with God, and that’s that. Now, her spirit is in heaven, and she no longer feels pain, but in the ground is where her body remains.”

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst – a story of a mom calming her twins through a storm with an invisible string. “You don’t need to see the Invisible String. People who love each other are always connected by a very special String made of love.”

Tell Me About Heaven by Randy Alcorn – a story written for older children to answer a young boy’s questions, “What’s it like where Grammy is?” in a narrative to answer some of the questions about Heaven.

Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen – a more advanced read-aloud about grief after loss. “Grandy put on her apron because she knew it would get messy. It seems that grief is never clean. Grief always takes longer to cook than anyone wants it to.” 

The Next Place by Warren Hanson – a child’s whimsical read-aloud with text curved and turned on the pages. “Though I will know the joy of solitude…I’ll never be alone.”

Tell Me The Secrets by Max Lucado – a lovely book of a retired missionary couple who befriend and share life with a trio of tweens. A beautiful book of multiple short stories of wonder, awe, and loss. Lucado’s companion book Tell Me The Story is one I read aloud on every retreat at lights-out.

Which books I deliver with either paper products or ice cream depends on the age of the child and who has passed away and how far along the grief journey my friend has traveled. It’s an honor and privilege to walk alongside families while navigating loss as a remarkable moment of life. 

How do you walk alongside your families? Which books are on your shelf?

“To all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12

Praying outside, wandering along a pre-set path makes me slow my pace, linger in prayer, and delight myself in the wonder and thoughts of the saints who have gone before me. For kids it’s a pre-set race path. Or at least the first time they see it and that’s okay. I rushed through lots of things as a child. That’s okay, too.

A labyrinth is simply a place to walk and pray or think. There is nothing mystical about it. It gives you the freedom to walk around while focusing your mind on God – and not worry about getting lost. A labyrinth contains a single walking path to the center and then back out again. Labyrinths are used world-wide as a way to quiet the mind, calm anxieties, recover balance in life, enhance creativity and encourage meditation, insight, self-reflection, and stress reduction.

I’ve always wanted one for littles and bigs to enjoy. Using a labyrinth we introduce a connection with the holy habits of saints of the church with our current students. Having one outside is perfect to enjoy anytime.

It took us a year to paint due to the weather, but an amazing servant leader with an art background helped us prepare a proposal to our church trustees to draw and paint a classical labyrinth in a distant corner of our parking lot. Drawn with a piece of chalk she attached to a long piece of PVC pipe, the outline was painted white and the inside path was painted blue with parking lot paint. The center was painted with our children’s ministry logo. The center can certainly be changed at any time. If some folks don’t want it in the future, time and constantly driving over it can fix that or painting over it in black will do the trick.

Since then, an Eagle Scout project filled in the lingering space with a box to hold laminated paperwork for teaching and practicing prayer, a bench, and some low-maintenance landscaping.

I’ve used it at our Fall Festival as a ‘station’, the first stop of a S’more Jesus Late Night, on Kid’s Bible study night when the weather was exceptionally beautiful, and as part of the Easter Story Walk on Palm Sunday. Many times I go out there to take a break on a long 10-hour on-campus day.

There have been some amazing prayer labyrinths making inside and outside spaces sacred. With tools as simple as a couple of strings of Christmas lights, stacking cans from a food pantry, or some painted on tarp-like material which makes it easily mobile, a labyrinth can happen almost anywhere. Here are a few to consider:

St. Johns in San Francisco with Christmas lights https://theresaecho.com/2020/10/19/a-labyrinth-pandemic-friendly/

St. Johns in San Francisco on a small patch of land alongside a sidewalk https://theresaecho.com/2023/04/06/building-a-succulent-labyrinth/

Want to find a labyrinth in your area? Check out https://labyrinthlocator.com/home

When kids use a labyrinth, they’ll run through it like a maze. Be okay with it. The more we use it, the slower the pace becomes. It’s become a fabulous meet-up space on campus. Do you have a space on campus which can be turned into a prayer labyrinth?

“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” Acts 2;28