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Monthly Archives: July 2018

Best Read of 2018: Sustainable Children’s Ministry (part 2 of 2)

31 Tuesday Jul 2018

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When I watch my grandson play with little green army men, he’s very particular about where every figure goes. He sets one, then realizes he must reset another. He’s flat on the floor, taking in the whole scene as close as possible. It’s all in the set up. There’s a leadership lesson there. It IS all in the set up when it comes to preparing for a new school year. So when I came across Sustainable Children’s Ministry: From Last-Minute Scrambling to Long-Term Solutions I had a road map for setting up systems.  As the authors shared in chapter 1: “Putting foundational systems in place will never be urgent, but without them, everything becomes urgent.”

My review and synopsis of the first nine chapters can be found here. These are some highlights from the last several chapters:

Chapter 10:  Beyond the Victim Before we can have politics in the church, we have to have relationships. Invest time and communication with your parents. Invest time and communication with your senior leadership. Invest time and communication with the other staff on your organization’s team.  The authors share the ‘secret six’=six secret ways to be the champion of the ministry you’ve been called to lead into the regular flow of what you do:

  1. Celebrate successes-share stories of last week
  2. Share the bigger vision-when you ask for help, share the big picture of where you’re wanting to go. For the last 90 days I’ve been sharing how we need to split children’s church due to our growth in numbers, so I began asking for prayer for leaders to take on Well-Versed Kids for our 3rd-5th graders. There are now 5 on that team and we are ready to begin next week!
  3. Embrace fun-offer an environment where there is a spirit of joy and resilience, not negativity and a critical spirit of what you’re missing, lacking, coveting… You get the picture.
  4. Share the dream-‘get your message to the congregation through stories and pictures.’ I use a closed Facebook group, I use the church’s main FB page, I send parents pictures of their kids, and I have a story every time someone asks, “How’s it going?”
  5. Build trust with key leaders-there are folks in every congregation who have the trust and ear of the rest of the congregation. Find those folks and talk about what’s happening ALL THE TIME.
  6. Be patient-Did you know it took 10 years for Chick-Fil-A to be the fast food restaurant that finishes every customer transaction with ‘My pleasure’? TEN YEARS! “Give yourself the grace to let change happen at the Spirit’s pace, not your own.” This is when a kidmin networking group can help. They will help you maintain the momentum when you are in the valley and feeling like nothing’s happening the way you’d hope for. The scriptures and my monthly networking group has been my lifeline.

Chapter 11: Children’s Ministry is Family Ministry Parents are already partners with us in the faith formation of their children, and so there are few things more important to our children’s ministries than building relationships with parents. I know Sunday mornings are not the ideal time for you to have serious relationship-building time with parents. But your presence and availability to them during that time is key.  If you are scrambling around looking for cotton balls, trying to get technology working, or teaching one of the kid’s classes yourself, you may miss your most important opportunity of the week-connecting with the people who have the most spiritual influence on the kids in your program. Make a plan of contacting a certain number of families each week, then contact them. If you’re not a people person or an introvert with exceptional people skills, this can be a matter of prayer. But it’s got to happen to grow and have a sustainable ministry. Jesus was all about relationships, old and new. Met or invested in anyone new lately?

Chapter 12: More Than Planning is where Annette shares a few hard-won tricks of the trade for managing the urgent while preparing for the future. Whether you’re struggling like I was or you’re an organizational savant, these tips might help you get enough altitude to tend to the things that matter most.

Chapter 13: Your Ministry Marathon ‘Injury prevention and warning signs that you may be one of the walking wounded…prevention…and recovery.’ Find a rhythmic week in ministry with ‘on’ time, ‘flex’ time, and ‘sabbath’ time. What can typically happen on which day of the week, write it out, then guard it with your life. It is your life! Bishop Sue Haupert-Johnson of the North Georgia UMC Conference speaks often of guarding and celebrating a weekly Sabbath. As church staff, our Sabbath is different, but critical. Figure it out, then guard it. The way I guard it is to talk about it. “Fridays are my Sabbath.” It’s that easy, because people who care for you will also help you guard it. Here are a few thoughts of when and how do we staff members worship.

Chapter 14: Finding Your Bounce Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down. Well, they do fall down, they just don’t stay down. If we are the team with many ideas, then we get the ‘chance to fail often and quickly.’ So how do we get out of the pit?

  1. Be humble, not defensive. Learn to respond with, “Fair enough,” or “Point well taken.”
  2. If you pay the tuition, learn the lesson. Debriefing is the last thing you want to do, but when it offers solutions, isn’t that what we’re looking for?
  3. Talk most about what you want most because ‘we always get more of what we focus on. Focus on the ways God IS at work regardless of our most recent misstep.’

Then, develop/build a community of support for yourself with mentors, your supervisor, and coaches. Hey, even Olympians need coaches and so do you!

God’s called you. Your organization has hired you. Parents are relying on you. Kids are depending on you. I believe in you. What are you doing today to set yourself up for the long haul?

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” 2 Thessalonians 3:5

Children’s Ministry’s Dirty Little Secret

24 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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Our guest blogger this week is Mrs. Amy May who serves as the Director Children’s Ministry at McDonough United Methodist Church in McDonough, Georgia.

I’m a fun girl, really. Like all children’s ministers, I like playing games outside, making slime, and getting smeared with shaving cream. But I have a dark side, too. In my spare time, I watch documentaries on Netflix. My husband shudders every time I watch a new one and get convicted. Lately, I’ve been asking some hard questions about children’s ministry and social justice.

Take, for example, the lovely annual Easter Egg Hunt. We order hundreds of plastic eggs and plastic toys for our hunt. We have tables (covered in plastic disposable tablecloths) with prepackaged crafts from cheap online companies. After we’re done, all this plastic will go into the trash and end up maybe in a landfill where it will take 400 years to rot. Or maybe float around in an ocean.

Let’s go a little further. Where did these products come from? Indonesia? Bangladesh? China? Certainly somewhere where overhead is low enough to produce cheap disposable goods for Americans. Many workers in these countries are not paid living wages and work in unsafe working conditions. The production of the items often produce pollution which harms the people who live and work there.

Life was easier when I didn’t know these things. Ecclesiastes 1:18 says “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” It truly grieves me that people suffer, especially for my convenience, for my easy disposable lifestyle. I can’t be a follower of Christ and not be concerned about our brothers and sisters around the world. The prophet Isaiah (1:17) tells us, “Learn to do good; seek justice; correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” When we buy cheap goods from these companies, we are supporting oppression with our dollars. When we live with mounds of disposable goods, we are contributing to pollution. Make no mistake, pollution and environmental issues are elements of social justice, too. Poor people pay the bulk of the price for our choices. You generally won’t find rich people living near trash heaps or drinking from polluted water sources.

If you haven’t thought about this issue until right now, let me reassure you: hyperventilating is normal. Sometimes, I feel crippled by the weight of my conscience and the challenge of doing ministry different. But this can be a teachable moment, too.

I’ve had age-appropriate conversations with my kids about where our stuff comes from. Who makes it? How does it make us feel when we buy something new? How long does it take until that feeling goes away and we want to buy something else? Maybe we are trying to fill a hole in our hearts with “stuff” when only God can fill it up. If we’re honest, we will see that we live a consumer lifestyle that thrives on our constant “need” for entertainment, convenience, or just something new. I hope my kids learn sooner than I did that peace comes from Jesus and not a purchase. I hope they’ll choose to live simply and give generously.

So what have I done to help with this problem? We recycled our Easter eggs this year (parents and kids could turn them back in to reuse next year). We don’t do prizes at church or have goodie bags. We try to use recyclable paper products or use real plates if the group is small enough. You can even find biodegradable eating utensils on Amazon and they’re not expensive. Baby steps, y’all.

VBS is coming up next. Lord, have mercy on my brand-new environmental soul! I’m gonna do my best. I’m sorry if I made you hyperventilate and I’d like to reiterate that I am, indeed, a truly fun girl.

I would LOVE to hear what you do in your ministry to avoid unethically made products or reduce your waste? Let’s help each other out!

Ecclesiastes 1:18 says “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”

Connect with Amy by emailing amysmithmay@yahoo.com.

 

Sharing Is Caring

17 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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The guest blogger this week is Kate Morris. Kate was the Children’s Pastor of my own children from the time they were in middle elementary. She serves today at Acworth United Methodist Church in Acworth Georgia as the Director of Family Ministry.

Growing up an ARMY brat I moved a lot: 4 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, 3 high schools. A LOT! Sadly, I don’t recall my favorite teacher’s names or even the names of my best friends. What I do remember is the events we shared: grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, hide and seek with the neighborhood kids, roller skating for hours, racing on our bikes down the gravel street, riding the train to the beach, hours of laughter over ice cream sundaes. With each move, I made new friends with new shared experiences. For one goodbye gift my friends gave me a little pink care bear with a message of “sharing is caring.”

While the phrase may now be trite, it was a huge thing for me. As I was plucked from one environment to another I learned that sharing and caring go hand in hand.

Sharing your heart is caring. Sharing your toys is caring. Sharing your love is caring. Sharing your time is caring. Sharing your fun is caring. Sharing your homemade cookies is really caring!

As an adult, sharing truly makes me happy. The best way for me to climb out of a funk is to put together care packages to bless someone else. AND shared events with other Children’s Ministry leaders make my heart SOAR!

Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 2:8 “Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

I SO get that! I love sharing the gospel and my faith but I am ABSOLUTLEY DELIGHTED to share my life with others in ministry that we might experience the Love of God together through experiences. Shared events allow for us to share AND care for one another.

I am so blessed to be a part of a networking group that meets regularly and plans experiences together. This fabulous group of Children’s Ministry leaders gathers around a table for an extended time for a KidMin Ninja Think Tank. We live out “sharing is caring.” We share laughter and joy, prayers and tears, heartache and celebrations, love and loss, resources and struggles.

We plan experiences where we share and care for one another. The church with a gym shares Winter Ball night where we play lots of ball games. The church with access to the lake hosts Splish Splash with water games galore. The church with a great art teacher hosts a Princess party. The church with green space hosts Messy Games with a 100 foot slip and slide. We gather at Camp Glisson for retreat to share cabins and leaders. We jump in our own vehicles to meet across town to share a fabulous Christmas experience with each other’s kids.

By sharing our resources, people and places, gifts and talents, we are caring for the body of Christ. We are showing the kids and leaders in our ministry their faith is not to be contained in one building with one set of people. Faith is meant to be shared; Faith is meant to care for others.

My little pink care bear was placed in a treasure box and accompanied me on every move. Recently my kids found it.  Since I don’t have many childhood moments and I have never been a pink girl type, they were a bit perplexed. But when I told them my story they understood why it is so important to me to work in tandem with other KidMin Ninjas to create shared events. Sharing is caring.

Kate is the wife of John and mom of four. Connect with Kate at kate@acworthumc.org. 

“I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of  Christ.” Philemon 1:6

Best Read of 2018: Sustainable Children’s Ministry (part 1 of 2)

10 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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The summer is full of kidmin life: Vacation Bible School, Faith Field Trips, Annual Conference, my youngest grandson’s first birthday. Summer is also a time to prepare my heart, soul, and mind sold out for Christ for a school year filled with intentional faith formation and discipleship for the little people and their families God has called me to champion. With podcasts, books, tea with colleagues, and phone calls on the commute, I listen to the ‘theme’ the Lord is speaking for this new season to come. I’m not sure where I heard about Sustainable Children’s Ministry: From Last-Minute Scrambling to Long-term Solutions, but it is my best read of 2018.

How I wish this was out when I first started living out this call to Children’s Ministry some 25 years ago! The authors are Mark DeVries, founder of Ministry Architects which helps churches and faith-based organizations build sustainable ministries, and Annette Safstrom who is the voice of the 234 pages of in-the-trenches-been-there-done-it-struggles-but-now-shares-the-life-giving-systems-to-keep-you-in-love-with-kidmin based on her 30 years of experience. Yep…there are those who do this for life. This book focuses on the set-up. It’s about taking the time and great energy to set up systems and rhythms and measurable goals to let you know if we’re hitting the mark of long-lasting discipleship or just an event planner at a great venue. The practical is strong in this one.
Here are some highlights:

Chapter 1: From Chaos to Clarity “Putting foundational systems in place will never be urgent, but without them, everything becomes urgent.”

Chapter 2: The Workhorse Syndrome “Most children’s ministry leaders I know didn’t know they were on a path to professional children’s ministry until they were already there.” TRUTH!

Chapter 3: Beyond Goldfish and Bubble Machines “The right systems, like a good fence in a garden, can offer the kind of protection any ministry will need to thrive.”

Chapter 4: Measuring Up In working with churches of all different sizes, denominations, and complexities of programming, we’ve discovered these four patterns: $1,000 per child in financial investment including staff salaries; one full-time staff person for every 75 children who participate in some aspect of the ministry each week; one adult volunteer for every five children; in a typical church, the number of children who participate weekly in some type of program at the church tends to settle around 15% of the total number of people who worship on an average week. Grabbing a calculator yet?

Chapter 5: Building Your Ministry With Simple Machines speaks about where to start ‘the Database machine, the Calendar machine, the Volunteer machine.’

Chapter 6: From Pearls to a Necklace speaks about ‘the Communication machine, the Attendance Tracking machine, The Visitor/Guest and MIA Tracking machine, Safety and Security machine, the Check-In System machine, and the Facilities and Maintenance machine.’

Chapter 7: Seeing What Other’s Can’t – Yet is filled with a wealth of measurable goals, vision and mission vocabulary, and the bull’s eye you wish for the ministry to hit…so you know whether you’ve hit it or not. I mean we’ve all put on great events, but are we just event planners at a great venue? These are tools that keep our feet on the ground, keeping Jesus in the hearts and minds of our families, and keeping our churches from becoming just a neighborhood venue for stuff.

Chapter 8: The Delegation Dance about building your team, empowering your team, and managing your team. This section is worth the price of the book alone.

Chapter 9: Beyond Rotation “Make your prospect list…you’ll need three times the number of unfilled positions.” “When we fail to train our volunteers, we send the message that the job they signed up for isn’t really that important…So stop apologizing for recruiting and training…everyone needs to be invited three different ways if you want them to come.”

Next week I’ll move through the remaining five chapters. What the authors share is super practical and what most of us have learned along the way. Sometimes the hard way. Sometimes with scars. There’s a whole chapter on how to avoid seasons of living the life of the walking wounded. But the hope and a better way are possible. Whether you are new to kidmin or uber tired and running on empty, this is a healthy read. No matter what size church or what level of influence in your organization’s ministry with children or how long you’ve been at it, there’s a hug and a kiss on the cheek from the Lord in this one.

Ya’ll! Get the book and grab a pen! It’s dripping in goodness. Find part 2 of this post here.

“Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Faith Field Trips

03 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by DeDe Bull Reilly in Uncategorized

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Many traditional churches offer week-long day camps during the summer as part of their ministry with children. We are planning one the last week of the summer and our recreation department has a slew of great ones. I wanted to offer a very intentionally memorable faith-formation experience, developmentally appropriate for kids k-2nd and 3rd-5th, in partnership with another church because ‘we’re better together’, and take kids outside where Jesus likely spent most of his growing up years.

Logistically, the trips are scheduled 9am-2pm. Kids brown-bag their own lunches, wear water shoes, and bring a refillable-water bottle, sunscreen, a towel, an open mind, and a spirit of adventure. Each trip is $20 per student to cover transportation, expenses, destination fees, and chaperone expenses. My colleague from a partnering church and I engage in lots of conversations with the children about the faith-formation theme of the day, then share a Bible lesson about halfway through lunch. Ms. Kate opens a Cluster group for each trip for us all to post photos which parents can see. I even try to send photos to parents/grandparents by text throughout the day or by the end of the day.

K5-2nd graders walked and played in the shaded, shallow creek of a walking trail in nearby Kennesaw, Georgia. We shared the Bible account of Jesus healing the blind man with mud. We had planned to make mud pies after lunch, but a sudden, summer rainstorm had us trekking back early. I packed a first aid kit with plenty of band aids, small orange cones to set some boundaries, we threw rocks, and we played in the creek. The students decorated wooden walking sticks sanded with sand paper (The Home Depot), then decorated the sticks with sharpies and bandannas. A trip to QT for ice cream cones finished out the trip. #jesusandmud

3rd-5th graders walked and played at the beach area of nearby Red Top Mountain where we hired a paddle board company to provide safety teaching and rental paddle boards. The paddle board area was adjacent to a terraced putt-putt course. The partnering church brought a load of putters and we were set to go. Adventure ‘buddies’ and life jackets and the devotion time of Jesus walking on the water. #jesuswalksonwater

K5-5th graders headed to a large local park which included a splash pad, went to the movies about 2 miles away, then returned to the park for lunch at one of the pavilions. This trip required two buses for transportation and half of my bus was sleeping on the return trip back to the church. Incredible means ‘extraordinary’. The only place in the Bible where the word ‘incredible’ is used is Acts 26:8 “Why should any of you consider it incredible that God raises the dead?” Yep, God raising Jesus from the dead is INCREDIBLE.  #jesusisincredible

Upcoming trips include a hike and the interactive historical display at Sweetwater Creek State Park for the olders, 7 Springs Water Park for the littles, a Day at Ms. DeDe’s for the completed 4th & 5th graders called ‘Ambassador Day’ which will be 9am-8pm, and a K5-5th grade trip to the Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta which will be a longer day for sure.  Ms. Kate and I collaborate weekly on times (she likes staying longer), Bible study, and specific details that will let us build relationship with our chaperones and our kids (I like lingering.)

Ms. Kate calls her trips ‘tours of faith.’ I call mine ‘faith field trips.’ Our families call it ‘a whole lot of fun’ as they continue the conversations at home.

“But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.” Jude 20

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