Calendaring in January and June for the next 18-24 months calls for a level of fearlessness when facing the following seven big BUTS in Children’s Ministry:

BUT IT’S NOT THE WAY WE’VE ALWAYS DONE IT – Refreshing and editing ministry must be a constant if we intend on being relevant. 20% of each year’s programming should be as a result of an update, an edit, something new, or delayed/postponed.  Informally debrief after every event and after each special Sunday so energy and excitement builds and remains. Rename it. Change the season/date. Start small to get the kinks out so that people know you are hearing them.

BUT FAMILIES ARE SO BUSY – Learn the rhythm of your community, not just your local church. With the exception of Sunday (Sunday is Game Day!), clear your schedule for your volunteers and families the first few weeks and the last six weeks of the school year. Families are trying to get accustomed to new normals, schedules, and filling out all that paperwork that is required at the beginning of the year. May has become more congested for families than December. Reach out in prayer and encouragement, but give your families easy wins. When you calendar, choose what is best. Consider what you used to do annually to offering every other year. Remember that Sunday programming is your bread and butter. Treat it with even greater planning and preparation as you would a special event.

BUT IT’S NOT ON THE CALENDAR – Just because others in your church don’t calendar 18-24 months in advance, doesn’t mean you can’t. Call a calendaring meeting and see who comes. Set your working calendar in pencil and get your stuff on the calendar first with the plan that if something else comes up, you respond with grace and a spirit of collaboration. Calendaring is partnering.

BUT WE’RE A SMALL CHURCH – Churches that are growing deeper are the ones with greater intentionality of forming circles and not just rows as they share life, share interests, and share a heart for others in inter-generational service as a result of Bible reading and study. Relationships grow more quickly and deeper in small groups, so take advantage of these small moments with great fruit. Let go of the thought that everything needs to be a Broadway production and make the faith-formation experiences more personal, more participatory, and more thoughtful.

BUT WE DON’T HAVE THE BUDGET NOR THE SPACE – Think what Jesus used: his feet, his words, his posse, and what he had on hand. Whatever you have, invite other local churches’ kidmin to join your kids for a different experience. Whatever the other local churches’ kidmin is doing, call and ask if you can bring a group of kids for a shared experience once or twice each year. When the bottom fell out of the stock market just a few months after I was brought on to start a family ministry at a church financed primarily by retired college professors, I prayed and got creative with what was available. Bands and sports camps came on campus each week. Each night I sold hot Little Caesar’s pizza out the back of my car along with ice-cold waters and Gatorades for three entire summers to finance for three years the ministry God had called me to lead. Sunday through Thursday from 10pm-1am. Fruitful ministry and oh the relationships and connections. Use what you have and let the Lord do the multiplying.

BUT WE DON’T HAVE THE VOLUNTEERS – Who do you have? Then raise up and train folks to be the volunteers. I’d sit in the sanctuary during services and ask the Lord to show me who to invite. Stay off the struggle-bus of negativity and wishing for what you don’t have. Give the volunteers you do have the joy and wonder of using the spiritual gifts handed to each one by their Creator. I make a way for 4th & 5th graders (the oldest in my lane of influence) to be taught and experience the joy of serving our Lord in their home church. I’m looking down the road to train up servant-leaders for this and their future local churches. Think of yourself like a general contractor enlisting the help and gifts of sub-contractors to build His house.

BUT NO ONE COMES TO SUNDAY SCHOOL ANYMORE – Thinking of the local church becoming more decentralized, we must offer Christian Education on Sunday morning and beyond. I do love Sunday school because it builds sticky faith and sticky relationships, so I schedule the really special things to take place during the Sunday school hour. Edit what you are doing maybe with a name change: Sunday small groups. I just read about a youth group revived in a local church when it was offered on a Sunday morning. Try new arrangements in discipleship. We are not event-planners. We provide environments where we ‘make disciples and teach.’ We ‘make disciples’ in teaching and letting little people and their families practice what they learn so they become more like Jesus. The first thing Jesus did when he called his disciples was to ‘teach them.’ Sunday morning is our bread and butter, but it can look differently and be called something different to build energy, build buzz, build relationships, and fulfill the vision of the church and the Great Commission. Keeping my focus on deep relationships with Jesus and with one another, God and our children’s ministry leadership can figure it out. We have more resources available today than any other time in history. Let’s use them!

There has never been a more exciting time to edit, make new, and update what it takes for a gospel-payoff in the local church for kids. The kids you are leading will be the leadership and the innovators in the local church today and tomorrow. Let’s model prayerful editing, innovation, and accept the tension of BUTS with creativity and joyful obedience. I imagine you deal with your own set of BUTS. How are you overcoming your BIG BUTS in ministry with children and families?

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, BUT WITH GOD all things are possible.’” Matthew 19:26

Graduate Sunday: A morning filled with caps, gowns, testimonies, and great joy as families celebrate the major milestone of graduation. Last Sunday was Graduate Sunday. One high school graduate stood to give her testimony which started like this: I grew up in this church. I have known God before I even knew what that was. Isn’t that the way it should be? But it wasn’t until I was in middle school, I began to understand….

There are tensions between children’s ministry and youth ministry. This is one of them. Setting aside the natural differences in leadership, age, gender, t-shirt messages, and organization, I hope you find encouragement in that we are OK to offer the foundations in the faith of our little people. What is developmentally appropriate for children is not the same as what is developmentally appropriate for middle/high school students. “In Children’s Ministry we are trained for foundation, not exploration (which begins in middle school.)”– Rethinking Youth Ministry: What Every Children’s Pastor Wishes Their Youth Pastor Knew

Children are concrete thinkers and learn best through story. Stories of Jesus and family are the stickiest. For example: the story of Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors…his daddy gave him a coat because he loves him; your parents give you a coat because they love you. God made you and Jesus loves you. Be like Jesus. Robert J. Keely in Helping Our Children In Faith writes “We need to take advantage of this developmental readiness to share these stories with them in a way that allows children to live inside of the stories.” Children are greatly influenced by the stories of the faith of people around him/her, his/her own stories of faith, and biblical accounts of faith. Kids begin to connect these stories together, but don’t yet see them as one large story that starts with “In the beginning God” and ends with “Amen” which truly begins in the middle school years (meta-cognition). There is more on why Bible stories are important here.

Ken Blanchard in The Stride speaks of the three spiritual practices which move people to become more like Jesus in strides rather than baby steps: Bible Reading, Financial Generosity, and Serving. We teach this in foundational and concrete ways in children’s ministry when we dedicate intentional time to Bible skills & Giving (loving the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength) and Serving (loving our neighbors as ourselves.)

I hope my church was pleased to hear this graduate speak of growing up here and they were successful in partnering with her parents so that she’d know the Lord before she knew what that was. I wasn’t there when she was growing up, but I know some of the men and women who were. This is a legacy we get to share and I couldn’t be more thrilled for them and others who faithfully offer developmentally appropriate teaching and experiences for children. I love the tradition in some churches when a graduate is introduced by name, the people in attendance who were part of his/her journey stand as the great cloud of witnesses who have and will continue to surround them as each graduate runs with perseverance the race marked out for them…so they will not grow weary nor lose heart as shared in Hebrews 12:1-3.

A Rethinking Youth Ministry podcast 069 speaks to this tension and is worth the 40 minutes for those who serve in ministry with youth AND children. If you choose to listen to the podcast, I’d be very interested in hearing your thoughts on some best practices to ease the tension between youth and children’s ministries.

“We are laying a foundation, especially the early years of children’s ministry, that hopefully when it starts to be kicked against at some point in the future, that it won’t completely fall apart, but will be a renovation and not a rebuild.” 30:20 RYM069 podcast, What Every Children’s Pastor Wishes Their Youth Pastor Knew I love 

“Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Deuteronomy 4:9

Listening to a MyCom United Methodist Communications podcast, Phil Bowdle told his story. His dad was a United Methodist pastor. His mom led Children’s Ministry. He wasn’t just raised in the church. His family had keys. Today he is the Creative Arts Pastor at West Ridge Church in Northwest Atlanta. He wrote Rethink Communication: A Playbook to Clarify and Communicate Everything In Your Church, recently published by Center For Church Communication. This is not a theory book. He agrees right off that we have the greatest news to tell the world: the good news of Jesus Christ. What he DOES do is set forth the best tools, best questions to ask, best model for brainstorming and evaluation, best practices to effectively communicate, and best examples of what to do and what not to do to get the greatest news into our worlds.

The layout of the book is incredibly practical and well-ordered by process and system. Rather than report the statistics we already know, I was fabulously encouraged by the statement, “Church attendance is not decreasing, it’s decentralizing.” Decentralizing is moving away from a single administrative center to other locations or vehicles of engaging in Christian education and Christian community. “The average person who attends your church may only physically attend eight to ten times a year. The average person your church is trying to communicate with is on social media 116 minutes a day.” (pg 41) The challenge is how to best connect through communication with those who physically attend church AND as they live life every single day. Moving from one-way to two-way communication is the best way to engage with the folks in our community since the average attention span of people in 2018 is 8 seconds. (pg 46)

Take a deep breath.

Bowdle shares three things we can no longer assume when we communicate:
1. Stop assuming you have your audience’s attention. We have to earn it.
2. Stop assuming that because it’s important to you, it’s important to your audience. Speak first to what’s important to them.
3. Stop adding to your message. Start simplifying.

Start simplifying. This takes time. This takes planning. This takes brainstorming in community. This takes preparation as a team because for our message to be heard AND responded to, it will require more time to communicate that message than it did in the past. (pg 104) He offers tips for planning your timeline so to clarify your message for each event/activity, know your audience’s persona, develop an elevator pitch, communicate answers to problems, then remember the ‘rule of seven.’ The ‘rule of seven’ is the number of impressions it takes before someone new is going to respond to your message.

He offers specific systems for the messages we want to share, the deadlines to consider, and to constantly be advocating for your target audience no matter what. He confirms that church communication is not a service, but rather a ministry. He then drives home his thoughts on church announcements. He speaks clearly on the tension between meeting the needs of our audience and meeting the requests of the ministry leaders. Cutesy names and insider language have to go. Simplify and tell a story. Any message worth communicating is worth communicating more than once. He suggests beginning with a soft launch (first early impressions of your message to build anticipation and awareness with the core of your target audience); a launch (communicating your message when people can hear and respond to your message); a blitz (building on impressions already made and concentrating multiple impressions into key times when you want people to respond.)

There is so much great material in this book, it is indeed a playbook for how to most effectively communicate the message of what makes your church your church. This is a practical playbook and should be required reading for leaders in ministry today who want to be the most effective at communicating inside and outside the church. We’ve got the best news in the world to share. This tool can help you ask the best questions to get you there.

“The two words ‘information’ and ‘communication’ are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things.  Information is giving out; communication is getting through.” – Sydney J. Harris

According to Barna Group research published in March 2019 entitled Who Is Responsible For Children’s Faith Formation, “In this and several other studies with Christian parents, our research has found that they crave guidance on how to educate and form their children, knowing that they are growing up in a world that is far more secular than their own childhood. Parents want to hear from their pastors on this issue,” Hempell continues. “Church leaders have the opportunity to develop a unique community for faith formation by bringing parents, school administrators and faith leaders together in partnerships for faith development. This is the basis for intentionally equipping parents through events such as Moving On Up to Middle School.

Moving on Up to Middle School is a dessert and panel discussion for 5th graders AND their parents offered the last week of April. Promotion language sounded like this:

Initial communication: McEachern Memorial UMC wants to help your family navigate this big move to middle school with confidence, information, and tools for success. 5th grade students AND parents are invited for dessert to a panel discussion and Q&A on Tuesday, April 30 6:30-8pm in the lower level of the Christian Life Center room ***
Free childcare will be provided for siblings by ***.  Please RSVP for parents and 5th graders at ****.

Secondary communication: Get a free copy of Viral Parenting, get some questions answered, satisfy your sweet tooth, and enjoy some laughter at tomorrow’s Moving On Up To Middle School dessert and panel discussion event for 5th graders and their parents. Free childcare for siblings by emailing ***. Register at ***

Students and parents were invited to write down questions on index cards and get dessert. At 6:50 we played a game of how to work a combination lock. We found colorful dual combination locks with the same combination so they could help one another…we are better together. Panel discussion began at 7pm. At 7:30-45 (or when the questions were finished, students would sit knee-to-knee with their parents and discuss some items based on the questions/discussion. For example: “What does helping with homework look like to you?”, “How can I let you know that I need to talk?”, and “What if I mess up?” We dismissed at 7:55pm with a benediction and prayer.

The panel included our Youth Ministry Director, a middle school teacher, a dad with a middle school boy and a mom with a middle school girl who are navigating middle school with healthy success. Thank you notes for the panel were attached to a box of Sour Patch Kids. We chose not to take questions from the floor to ensure students nor parents would be put in unflattering, uncomfortable, or judgmental spots.  One of the main goals in offering these educational events is to engage in successful and healthy conversations between kids and their parents.

Other parent-equipping opportunities which have taken place in the last 4 months included Wonderfully Made: Loved By God, John Rosemond spoke during a Sunday school shared event, and various Faith Milestone events for the lower grades. The sacred and courageous conversations have begun. This research affirms we are moving in the right direction. We’re already preparing for opportunities to offer this fall: Cell Phone Safety, Sharing Your Faith With Your Family, Will You Be My Friend?: Healthy Relationships, and more.

Testimony: I instructed students I’d give them a Combination Lock for a question written on an index card for the panel to discuss. They began writing furiously. Without instruction they struggled. Thinking they would work together, they did not, but rather continued to struggle. I let them struggle. After 5 minutes, I asked the students to hand the locks over to their parents. Hearing the clicking of opened locks all over the room, the kids were amazed, looking at their parents with pride and admiration. This was a great way to begin as they now saw how their parents knew more than they thought and would help them ‘unlock’ a whole lot more.

Note: Viral Parenting is one of the latest books to be published specifically for parents and caregivers on navigating boundary setting and living with a cell phone in a social media world. I then cautioned them on reading any book passively. Though the authors are part of a faith community, it is not a faith-based book. There is a section toward the end of the book when the author talks about their family attending church and faith-based education. Which is good info. However, they then share that though the reader may not have or believe in the Lord, they can still find hope elsewhere. I shared with my audience of 5th graders and their parents as followers of Jesus, we do NOT believe that. Our hope is ONLY in the Lord Jesus Christ. Sally Clarkson, Author of Book Girl, which advocates for the transforming power of a reading life speaks to reading everything with a discerning filter: Because stories engage my imagination and heart on a deep level, I am aware of the fact that what I encounter on their pages will teach me how to see the world, and this is why I’ve had to learn to practice discernment. (pg 9)

How else are you training and equipping parents to lead their children so they “grow in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man?” (Luke 2:52)

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4