Milestones are the significant cultural and developmental markers that we experience throughout our years of life. They are our firsts. There are ordinary firsts of steps and teeth, walking and talking. There are also firsts of our faith life: baptism, beginning Sunday School, receiving a Bible, our first retreat, making decisions for Christ, and more.

Faith Milestones are those firsts as we grow in our faith experiences because we know it doesn’t happen just on Sunday mornings.  It’s part of all we are and all we do as God’s beloved people.  Attending a CEF (Christian Educator’s Fellowship) national conference last year gave me the jumping off point to identify intentional firsts, presented as Faith Milestones, for our little people journeying through children’s ministries.  A huge thanks goes to Donna Draeger, Minister of Disciple Formation at Centennial UMC in Roseville, Minnesota and Deb Johnson, Children, Youth, and Family Minister at Spirit of Hope UMC in Golden Valley, Minnesota for leading the workshop that got this ball rolling around in my head.

It was important these Faith Milestones were in partnership and shared with the whole family as we sought to help families find ways to grow in their faith together.  We wanted shared spiritual experiences for our families and decided to put a few ages together just in case a family missed it the first time.  I calendared throughout the year based on our church’s rhythm of activities and wanted to introduce as much faith-filled vocabulary as possible for these firsts.

I put out a brochure (old school, I know, but it has all the dates on it for the year and that seems to work best for my parents to be able to keep up with it, especially those with more than one child.) I also put it in the monthly newsletters, bulletins, and sent a personal invite as well as a personal email a few weeks out inviting families to preregister if a meal was involved.

Ages 3 & 4 and any new rising kindergartner students: Welcome to Sunday School – Scheduled the Sunday before fall’s promotion Sunday from 12:15-1pm.  Program: What does Sunday School mean? What do we do there? Through story, song, and hands-on activities, learn what a fun place Sunday School is!  I invite a couple of the Sunday School teachers to participate so the families meet & greet and learn the routines.  We play some songs, tour the children’s hallway, decorate a cookie, and we give out a copy of The Berenstain Bears Go to Sunday School to each student.  The following week, I send a personal, handwritten post card as follow up inviting them to Sunday School.

Age 5/Kindergartners and 1st Grade: I Can Pray – Scheduled on an October Sunday from 12:15-1:30 and includes a snack lunch – Children and parents/grandparents learn the parts of prayer and when and how to pray through word and song.  We’ll have prayer stations the families can share similar to the Praying On The Go Bags that are prepared each month.  We’ll make a prayer list and trace hands in a prayer journal for the family to share together…to be left on the kitchen counter for everyone in the family to write blessings or prayer requests and read throughout the comings and goings of their family.  Their take-aways will be the family prayer journal and a glory bell…something to place in the home to ring when they want to praise the Lord!  We hit it and shout, “Glory!”

1st & 2nd Grades: Touch & See My Church – Scheduled on a Spring Sunday from 12:15-1:30 and includes a snack lunch – A chance to explore the sanctuary ‘behind the scenes’ and learn more about worship.  The students and their families will go on a scavenger hunt in the Sanctuary (What is the name of our pastor? How many pews are in the Sanctuary? What’s in the baptismal font? What’s bigger…the pastor’s office or church library?, What’s the color of the Sanctuary doors?, etc) I invite the worship leader, a musician, our senior pastor, a worship singer, an acolyte, and the church secretary to be a ‘station’ where the children ask each of 3 questions:  What do you do? How did you get to do what you do? Where do you do what you do? Students receive a sticker at the end of each station because little people like stickers.  Their take-away is a search book of bible stories.  This milestone is more involved, so I’ll post about this one next week.

3rd & 4th Grades: I Can Serve – Scheduled on a Sunday before Advent/November an hour before our CLUB345 gathering and led by our Senior Pastor.  The students learn how they can ‘help’ in the worship service and practice communion, lighting and extinguishing candles, get a tour of the chancel/stage area, etc.  The students also get their first hands-on teaching on the sacraments of baptism and holy communion.  This is also a very specific time when our students spend time with their pastor.  Anytime I can build their relationships with our pastor, I’m all in!

3rd – 5th Grades: A Bible of My Own – A student late night 6pm-9:30pm to learn about the bible and how to use it in daily living.  I’m in the process of writing this one now, so check out the blog later.  Our church gives Early Reader Bibles to students entering 1st grade and NIV Red Letter edition bibles to those entering 3rd grade (they’ll use these for CLUB345) on the Sunday during worship before the first CLUB345.

4th – 5th Grades: A Day Away At Ms. DeDe’s Retreat – Scheduled on a Tuesday in July practicing personal spiritual disciplines which help grow our focus and love for the Lord.  Deep & Wide Retreat

The scriptures share that Moses prepared the people of Israel to enter the Good Land by asking them to remember and tell the ways that they had experienced God’s love and care. In this way, he knew that faith in the God of Israel would live on.  These shared spiritual memories are special and we have sought to set them apart as such.

Deuteronomy 6:6 “Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them…”

Ron Clark is the founder of Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta and the author of the new book on leadership teams, Move Your Bus: An Extraordinary New Approach to Accelerating Success in Work and Life.  Serving in the field of Christian education in the context of a local church, I enjoy his books and was thrilled that this one shared some specifics about serving on a team with clear organizational goals.

His lays out the book in a parable speaking of five characters who make up every type of organization aka your bus:

Runners come early, stay late, never complain, provide a positive spirit, have a strong work ethic, are driven to take the initiative to work, not for personal reward, but toward the good of the whole organization and tackle tasks with an attitude of It has to be done, let’s knock it out, let’s do it.  Runners are the first to fearlessly volunteer and want to include the whole team in problem solving and celebration.

Joggers are steady, dependable, fairly punctual and conscientious about following the rules.  ‘They don’t slow the bus down, but they don’t make it fly either.’  They dress appropriately, often rise to meet expectations, but ‘aren’t going to blow your mind, day in and day out.’  They can switch into high gear when called upon, but can’t sustain such energy for the long haul primarily because they lack the confidence to go full throttle.

Walkers point out everything they see is wrong in the organization, deflect blame, want attention, complain the Runners make them look bad, and shouldn’t be expected to go beyond their job descriptions. Walkers pull people down to their speed and see no need to accelerate on a regular basis, thereby frustrating Runners and Joggers.  Clark warns that Walkers target new hires quickly ‘to recruit new walkers.’

Riders aren’t interested in organizational success or even personal success. They greatly frustrate the Runners and Joggers since they get the most attention from the Driver of the Bus who desperately tries to motivate the Riders and Walkers to move the organization further. Riders don’t want to lose their jobs/paychecks, so their main goal is to do just enough to avoid termination.  They’ll even keep track of the slights of other staff members just in case they are held to a higher standard than the very bare minimum.

Drivers drive the bus and have the entire organization on their shoulders. In the local church, this should be the senior pastor.  Due to gifts and graces, the driver of a particular local church may be a lay person or a staff member.  Due to personalities, the driver of a particular local church may appear to be a lay person or a staff member.  Due to the lack of a driver, a Runner may assume the role of a driver for a season.  It’s not a Runner’s role, but it’s what a Runner does. Thinking of a school bus driver, they are constantly looking in the side and rear mirrors for hindrances, they constantly check the bus (the organization) that it is safe, ready, and prepared for the ride.  Drivers know the starting place, the destination, and the healthy stops along the way.

The remainder of the book shares how the Driver can accelerate success, most effectively free the Runners, encourage the Joggers to become Runners, and continue to move the bus toward the goal.  It reminded me of a Disney Institute tour taken many years ago.  The focus of Disney’s leadership is on the top 1/3 of the team.  The thought process is to make the top tier more effective, thereby making the organization more effective.  In essence, it’s better for the organization to move a team member from an 8 to a 10 rather than spend all your energy trying to move a 3 to a 5.

As a family of faith, we are commissioned to love everyone.  The warning is not to forget, ignore, or even fire the Riders and Walkers, but rather not worry about being ‘fair’ (ex: Jesus didn’t heal everyone, just the one, at the pool of Bethesda found in John 5), look at the good of the whole, and keep the bus moving toward the organizational goals.  Several of the ‘accelerants’ that resonated with me in the local church setting…

1.  Sit with the Runners – We are more apt to BE who we sit with, fostering collaboration, and improving ourselves when we spend time with those who are doing it well.  This is why I don’t miss a networking lunch with others who minister with children, engage in conversation, and ask a ton of questions.  John Maxwell’s new book speaks of great leaders asking lots of questions when in the company of Runners.  What is my question-to-statement ratio?

2.  Clean the Windshield – If we are not the Runners on a particular project we should volunteer to take on the menial tasks so the Runner can be the Runner.  Asking “What can I do to help?” or helping others on the team do their jobs well for the greater good of the organization.  My responsibility may not be ‘worship’, but am I helping that team of Runners? It is safe to say that the majority of a congregation’s only connection to the Body of Christ happens in worship.  Even if it’s not in my bucket, what can I do to ‘clean the windshield’ every week?  And not just worship…what can I do to ‘clean the windshield’ for the other staff?  Empty the trash, be one of the last to walk out, be one of the first to arrive, bring a bottle of water to the tech ninja, bring Altoids and sugarless gum to the youth director taking kids on a retreat…

3.  Allow Runners to Reap the Rewards – As the Body of Christ, we must we willing to be happy for and willing to support the Runners who carry the lion’s share of the work.  It’s not a competition, it’s a family.

4. Say Hello – Greeting people with a smile or a ‘Good morning’ spreads good energy and ‘good energy will come back to you.’  Anybody else ever said, “Good Morning,” even in the afternoon or at a night event at church? Guilty! I recall listening to a sermon series and hearing that a cheerful greeting done in the first 5 seconds relates interest, care, and love like nothing else.  Even if you get nothing but a grunt from a young person (like the one I gave birth to during his middle school years,) my greeting can set up an environment of joy, compassion, and empathy.  That’s my idea of great decorating!  That young man now kisses me on the cheek when he arrives and leaves the room. He learned that greeting matters. (Heart melting!)

The goal of a local church is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.  That’s as clear as it gets. I would think that everyone would want to be a Runner when it comes to Kingdom-building.  It’s not a personality thing, but rather a drive and/or momentum thing.

I was especially moved by the 23rd chapter.  “If you ask your Runners to hide their success or to do their important work under cover, you make them feel unappreciated and that can cause them to decelerate – or even to hop aboard another bus that is moving at the speed of light.” Clark goes on to share, “I’ve been to schools where there really aren’t any Runners, but there are a lot of Joggers who consider themselves to be top performers. If a true Runner comes onboard in an environment like that, she will very likely be perceived as a threat….When you only have one Runner in your organization, you have to work hard to protect that individual because she is in a very vulnerable position.”  Whew! The job of the Driver.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book.  I especially enjoyed being reminded that I am called to be a Runner for Christ and I should be doing all that goes with that in the area where He has called me to serve.  Serving as a professional Christian educator and as a staff member of a local church, I am in bus ministry.  What will you do this week to move your bus?

Hebrews 6:1 “Therefore, let us MOVE (emphasis mine) beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity.”

“A movement exists only when people choose to work together in one direction. The leader’s job is to inspire the people to move.” – Simon Sinek

Milestones are the significant cultural and developmental markers that we experience throughout our lives. They are our firsts. Growing in faith is not just a Sunday morning activity. It’s part of all we are and all we do as God’s beloved people. But there are firsts, milestones, rights of passage with specialness wrapped around those firsts in a lots of ways.  We have prepared an ordered format of FAITH MILESTONES to have intentional firsts throughout a student’s experience in our ministry with children at WC.  The Deep & Wide Retreat is our first retreat.

A retreat is time away from our normal life for the purpose of connecting with God on a deeper level.  Faith is formed through personal and trusted relationships and times of stretching and challenge. Jesus started with a few disciples who gathered in their homes so A Day Away At Ms. DeDe’s seemed the perfect setting for a first retreat to do some soul training for my rising 4th and 5th graders. We invited a colleague to bring her rising 4th-5th graders to join us for greater large/small group dynamics.

Location: Ms. DeDe’s home.  I live 40-50 minutes north of our church community in a subdivision with a reservoir and a community pool. Opening my home to my family of faith is table life that I love.

Time: 10am-9pm, Tuesday in July

Scripture Focus: Ephesians 3:17-18

What to bring: A bag to carry everything in (we did some moving from place to place and keeping up with your own belongings is a life skill), swim suit, towel, pen, bible, highlighter, 3 skipping rocks (just a little something odd to add to the list), walking shoes, bag of favorite candy for popcorn bar (which we enjoyed after the movie debrief.)

PreRetreat to do:  Sit down with Mom/Dad and get answers to the following questions and be ready to share (we used these as the jumping off points in small groups for learning how to extend hospitality by being able to start and continue a conversation. And anytime I can encourage my families to have faith conversations, I’m in!)

1.  How did you get your name?

2. What is your first memory of church?

3. When you talk on the phone, it’s a habit to have a visual image in your mind of who you are talking to. When you pray, the same thing could happen. What does God/Jesus look like in your mind when you pray?

4. What are some faith practices of your family from birth to now?

5. What is an experience that let you know that God is real?

10am: Arrival/Introduction Games – Name Wave (say your name and do a motion – everyone repeats the name and motion one at a time moving around the circle until everyone has introduced themselves and everyone has said everyone’s name); Hand Who?(invite each student to draw an outline of his/her hand on the journal given to each one, then for each finger write something interesting: thumb-something you do well/thumbs up, first finger-something that makes you stand out from a crowd, middle finger-something that frustrates you/pet peeve, ring finger-something you are committed to/passionate about, pinkie finger-a little known fact.) Then, we broke up into 2 groups by church to share.

10:30-11:30 Session 1 – Soul Training: Holy Habits…devotion & journaling & bible study…The most important thing a human being does is to love God. (A Good And Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith)  We handed out Mood Rings (amazon.com) that change color according to the mood of the wearer. What if someone made ‘love-of-God’ rings indicating the level of love the wearer feels for God? And what if everyone had to wear them?  What color would yours be?

Ephesians 3:17-18 God’s love is wide (covers all of our experiences and the whole world), long (continues the length of our whole lives), high (rises to the heights of our celebration and elation), and deep (reaches to the depths of discouragement, hurt feelings, despair, death/loss, feelings of being shut out or isolated.)  We shared examples of each. Our soul training and holy habits are expressions of how wide, long, high, and deep OUR LOVE is for God.  Took 15 minutes of silence to journal what we thought/felt.

11:30-12:30 Session 2 – Soul Training: Counting Your Blessings…picked up sandwiches and goodies for lunch prepared by our church partner and hiked to the reservoir’s edge to make a list of 100 blessings.  A good way to remember that God loves us is to make a list of His blessings. In increments of 10, it’s an elephant we can eat when we take one bite at a time. (ex: reading your bible all the way through).  Categories: 10 people who love you, 10 colors (God saw fit to give us more than one color), 10 items of nature that show we serve a God of order (much easier when we sat outside at the reservoir’s edge,) etc.

12:45-1:15 Session 3 – Soul Training: Play…hiked back to the pool and swam for 30 minutes.  The gospel/good news includes an invitation to a great adventure.

1:25-3:30 Session 4 – Soul Training: Play…went to a movie: Inside Out.  We play because God is good.  God wants us to be full of joy, and play is a way to experience the goodness of God and the richness of life.  When we play, we are training our bodies and souls to live with genuine excitement. (A Good And Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith)

3:30-4:15 Session 5 – Soul Training: Trust…movie debrief.  Discussion in large group of our gift of emotions when did you have to ‘put your fear in your pocket’ and be stretched?

4:15-5 Session 6 – Soul Training: Table Life…popcorn bar and hangout time

5-6 Session 6 – Soul Training: Hospitality…We are called to be a witness to the good news by speaking and greeting others.  We learned how to engage in conversation/tossing the ball back and forth in large group.  Then broke up into 3 smaller groups to stretch our natural tendencies to talk only about ourselves and practice carrying on a conversation using the 5 pre-retreat questions.

6-6:45 Session 7 – Soul Training: Service…My team made deep dish pizzas and wide fruit salad for supper while the other team made handmade cards for each church’s shut-ins.  We shared what a shut-in was and what to write to someone you don’t know, but want to encourage in the Lord.  When my team finished their task, they, too, made and wrote cards to our church’s shut ins.

6:45-7:30 Session 8 – Soul Training: Table Life…ate dinner!

7:30 to the pool…

We were stormed out at the pool, so we played on the playground eating dessert until the lightning started.  Our partner church returned to their church.  We headed back to my house for a rowdy game of Apples to Apples until their parents came to pick up.

Our first retreat was everything I had hoped and more.  I got to share my home and heart with the students who God has gifted me for a season.  We laughed, were stretched, worked, served, hoped, challenged, helped, shared, and made memories.  Spiritual and sticky memories are what I like best!