Andrew Forrest is a pastor and the author of Love Goes First. As soon as the audiobook was released, I downloaded it on Audible—and finished it within a week; some parts I listened to more than once. The book is rich with Scripture, each passage pointing the reader/listener toward a simple but demanding call: move toward one another in love. Act, don’t react. The stories Forrest shares—both past and recent—bring that call to life.

I’ve noticed a growing trend in Christian-living literature over the past few years: a renewed effort to equip believers with practical ways to live out our faith in Jesus in a culture that is increasingly hostile to a biblical worldview.

After years of hearing “be kind” everywhere—from classrooms to commercials—I expected compassion to flourish. Instead, Christians, law enforcement, and those holding culturally unpopular views are often met with open and even violent hostility. Feelings have been elevated over facts, and the results are painful.

Books like Mama Bear Apologetics remind me that God did not design the brain to host unchecked emotion and thoughtful reasoning at the same time. One part of our brain helps us survive—fight, flight, or freeze—while another allows us to pause, think, and problem-solve.

The Apostle Paul urged believers in 1 Corinthians to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ, even when our feelings are loud. Forrest echoes that truth: feelings don’t care about facts—facts don’t care about feelings, but faith trains the mind.

At the heart of Love Goes First is a courageous question: How do we live out Jesus’ command to love God and love our neighbors when our neighbors hate us?

Forrest reminds us that, as it is written in all four gospels, Jesus was deeply hated—and yet He moved toward others in love, palms up, arms open, fully vulnerable, even unto death. Love has always come with a cost.

As Christians—little Christs—we train ourselves through practices to live this kind of love. We choose it knowing it’s gonna hurt. Knowing we will likely be disappointed, embarrassed, rejected, or betrayed. And still, we move forward in love.

Forrest describes a clear cultural shift over the past several decades.

From 1964 to 1994, Christianity was viewed positively, so when Billy Graham invited people to “come back” to faith, there was a shared belief that sin was real and God’s grace was needed.

From 1994 to 2014, the culture grew more neutral, with Christianity becoming just one option among many for personal fulfillment, often expressed through social justice and acts of charity.

However since 2014 the culture has turned openly hostile toward core, traditional Christian beliefs. His cultural examples were shocking and I can recall the shift with my own personal examples.

Today, culture defines the “right kind” of Christian as one expected to tolerate all views simply to keep the peace, while the “wrong kind” is one who openly accepts and tells the world that Jesus as the only way to salvation. Traditional Christian truths are often dismissed with statements like, “I’m a good person— I don’t believe in a negative, judging God.”

Judah Smith and Dr. Les Parrott note in Bad Thoughts that the average person thinks about 60,000 thoughts a day—and nearly 80% of them are negative. So how do we break free from cycles of negativity and a tolerance for a critical spirit?

We practice palms-up, arms-open love. We expect it to be costly. And we choose it anyway.

This is the set-apart life—scriptural holiness. It’s not simply “love first.” It’s love goes first. Love that moves. Love that initiates and take the initiative toward sacrifice.

My dad used to call it “expecting the worst while hoping for the best,” all while continuing toward goals worth chasing: redemption, restoration, and repair. That’s where the Holy Spirit grows fruit in us—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I don’t fear failure nearly as much as I fear regret. My only fear of failure is that of disappointing my God and the clear scriptural commands of His own.

Jefferson Fisher writes in The Next Conversation that the purpose of our words should be to grow deeper in relationship—marked by trust, truth, and grace. Dr. Henry Cloud writes in Boundaries that the goal of healthy boundaries is to nurture and enable authentic and respectful relationships. Both are tools for love going first.

This past Advent, I felt the weight of unmet expectations. I said the wrong things. I misread situations. I replayed conversations in my head—hundreds of times—hoping for face-to-face moments that didn’t come. Until love went first.

I will keep walking with palms up and arms open—vulnerable, hopeful, not easily offended nor disappointed for the sake of love. Love is mostly an intentional action rather than a feeling. I can go with what I know and not with how I feel.

I can choose to go with what I know is true and set aside my feelings for the sake of love. I can choose to not be overcome with negativity. I can rebuke a critical spirit. Hostility and anger have no place here.

After what Jesus has done for me, can I do anything less?

“Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”” Exodus 14:15