It’s time to prepare the upcoming school year calendar to be shared by mid July with the families I serve. As much as I’d love to fill the calendar with lots of great and holy things, a reasonable rhythm of WHAT and WHY is the filter for the big picture. A reasonable rhythm requires consideration of the community schedule of families we serve, the leadership who chooses a kidmin director’s ‘time’, and the staff we serve alongside who set the priorities of spaces available.

When I was hired full time, it was much easier to just throw myself into all that we could offer: typical Sunday and midweek programming and special events just about every month, sometimes every other week. Trying new things happened often.  But a part-time position in ministry requires a rhythm.

When church leadership decides a position as Sunday only, 1/4 time, 1/2 time, or 3/4 time, there are some expectations they have determined.  One reasonable expectation being that this part time staff person can not do everything the larger church down the street can do.  Setting priorities offers a reasonable rhythm.

Balance is an elusive target because balance is based on a subjective perspective: whoever you are asking. But a rhythm, being measurable, is much more manageable when the goal is healthy Children’s Ministry.

If we use the five pillars of a healthy Children’s Ministry, worship-grow-belong-service-tell, and the entire calendar year as the canvas, finding a rhythm works to develop a reasonable rhythm.

For excellent regular programming, it takes an average of 2.5 hours for every 1 hour of programming. Any special event or peak moment requires a whole lot more. Think VBS: 4-5 months+whole lot of lay servants+$$=10 – 15 hours of programming.  That may explain why so many churches are stepping away from offering a week of VBS and looking for more bang for their buck.  Perhaps offering a summer VBS program over a summer of Sundays (or Thursdays) and promoting the daylights out of it.

Even part time (half-time = 20 hour) KidMin Directors can effectively and realistically take on weekly Sunday am, Sunday pm OR Wednesday/Midweek pm, and 4-5 peak moments through the year, if you include Christmas and Easter in the 4-5 peak moments. Then you are working on one peak moment quarterly and that is much more manageable and a reasonable expectation.

Periodically our Children’s Council (those who make up the hands and feet of the ministry) writes on individual index cards everything involving ministry with children over the course of the year.  All traditions and even new things: Trunk-or-Treat, Sunday School, CLUB345, Children’s Christmas program, etc.  As a team, they then determine what four items are the most important: asking, “If we did nothing but these 4 things next year, what would they be?”  Once they haggle…er, decide which 4 (which takes a bit of time), they then choose 2 more (which takes no time, because the discussions have already taken place.)  As a Council, we have now chosen what we will throw ourselves into.  Where and when will we be ‘all in’, for the next year.  Of course, other special events take place over the course of the year, but there must be two champions for those special events where I can serve as the resource, cheerleader, and/or promoter for those things.  But me ‘taking the point’ on them has now been decided by the Children’s Council to not be a priority for me this next year.

So where will you throw your resources, your servants, your finances, your space, your over-the-top-best? Break out a clean calendar for the next 12-18 months because a reasonable rhythm takes into consideration the big picture for a true discipleship pathway for both littles and bigs.

“Everything is permissible” – but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible – but not everything is constructive.” – 1 Corinthians 10:23

Edited from the original post of March 2014. Don’t miss any new weekly posts by subscribing above.

In full disclosure, I like change. Change is evidence of the movement of the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit is moving, I want to be in the middle of it.

I also like learning new things. The best way for learning new things is to check it out and try new things alongside other disciples who are trying new things.

At last Thursday night’s Family VBS we enjoyed the company of three kidmin leaders from a local church over an hour away who wanted to see what it looked like. They travelled together, arrived early, listened to me rattle on about loving our kids to Jesus and the spaghetti we throw at the wall to help Christian discipleship stick with our families ‘as they go’ (Deuteronomy 6) choosing deep over wide. They helped stage the event and chatted with our volunteer team before, during, and after. They praised and danced before the Lord with our families. They even stayed for the dine-out that followed to further debrief and enjoy some amazing fried okra.

Around that BBQ table we asked lots of questions of one another about what both churches were doing and family trends we were both discovering. There is nothing like the glowing countenance of kidmin leaders sharing how their team is knocking it out of the park. I’ll be heading their way for one of their family events with my team this fall.

I can read about stuff and even hear about stuff others are doing. And I do. I’m a visual learner and fascinated with logistics, timing, and church family dynamics. I see that best in-person, arriving early, staying late, and with other Jesus gals/guys who understand the WHY we do what we do as disciple-makers and not event planners.

I’ve served at other church’s VBSs after my own was ‘in the books’. We would meet at our monthly network lunch and make the summer tour to one another’s churches. It sharpened me as a disciple-maker, inspired me to think of other best practices, and the kidmin champion who led each church didn’t have to recruit for the area where I served because I was just as much over the top for her kids as I was with mine…and I was experienced. We didn’t share just resources and VBS backdrops. WE were the best shared resource for one another.

Christians are meant for community. Community connections inside and outside our own house, er church, make for better disciple-makers. Disciple-makers are meant for even a greater community of disciple-makers and we have to get out to make the most of it.

Get out. Make the connections. Take someone up on the invite to ‘come see’. Don’t wait for a conference. Just ask, “May I come see?” Get out of your own house and check out what others are doing. Arrive early. Stay late. Be fully-present. Learn all you can. Bring back what excites you. Be a blessing to one another with your ministry of presence. Be inspired by the most amazing Jesus guys and gals in their house and come home with ideas to edit your own stuff to excellence.

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.” Luke 8:16

Ambassadors is the leadership team of 4th & 5th graders who serve in our local church. I offer training each August for new and experienced ambassadors. This was the jumping-off point for the Ambassador Road Trip.

The Ambassador Road Trip is a spring retreat for 4th & 5th graders born out of a faithful group of children’s ministry leaders’ desire to prepare students for future youth retreats and connect them to a greater Body of Christ than their own local church. Frankly, a middle schooler leaving unmentionables in the public bath house is devastating. For a 4th grader, it’s no big deal and just like home. There are so many life skills to learn when kids go on retreat for a night or two. 

The Ambassador Road Trip is held at Indian Springs State Park in Flovilla, Georgia. We arrive on Friday night, stopping for dinner on the way. We are housed in huge cabins and share several buildings on campus secure from other areas of the park.

Music and a large group gets the party started in the dining hall, well-lit to begin the habit of taking notes in the prepared handbook. We bring our own kitchen team and rotate serving and cleanup among the churches and students in attendance. Students discover what we’re eating at each meal by searching the scriptures on their own time as part of the handbook which makes for some interesting group time in the cabins before bed. Early to bed because sleep matters.

Saturday is filled with large group #2, workshops (worship art, group games, Bible study), lunch, discovery time, large group #3 to finish the night with sticks and s’mores and outdoor games like 4-square-in-the-air, etc. Sunday morning is breakfast, large group #4, cleanup, and dismissal before noon which gets my kids home by the time church lets out.

The Ambassador Road Trip is inexpensive at $100 person for two nights (covers all expenses with enough to make the State Park deposit for the following year) and the content is on a two-year cycle since it includes only two grade levels. I charge a little more to cover chaperones, gas, and Friday night dinner along the way.

Year #1 – AMBASSADOR acrostic

• Ambassadors based on 2 Corinthians 5:20 “We are Christ’s ambassadors.” We spread the letters over the four large groups, review before going on, look up every scripture, take notes in our handbooks.
• Workshops: Bible Ninja Skills, Worship (Lord’s Prayer/Gloria Patri focus learning sign language), Outdoor games, Worship Art (each workshop is designed by and presented by two kidmin leaders collaborating from different churches)
• Two hour discovery time (puttputt, hill climbing, walking, playing ball on the lawn, unstructured but planned) right after lunch.

Large group: What does an ambassador of Christ look like; practices we live out? Handbook fillins….
2 Corinthians 5:20 “We are Christ’s ambassadors.”
A – Arrive 30 minutes early to assignments (plenty of time to be ready) Luke 21:38
M – Mature/Can be trusted (dependable, punctual, enthusiastic without craziness, positive attitude/no complaining) Philippians 2:14
B – Bible readers (we pour out what we take in; are you reading your Bible regularly and attending weekly Sunday school?) 2 Timothy 3:16-17
A – Assist by practicing hospitality (kindness to a stranger) (Hi!, hand outs at end of services) Romans 12:13
S – Smile (lets others know you want to be here; makes the best impression on guests and those having a hard time) Philippians 4:4
S – Set up on Sundays, Tour of the Nativities, Christmas Eve readers and lit candle processionals, wherever I’m invited to help Luke 12:35
A – Assist the littles in the K5 & 1st grade Sunday school classrooms and special events Luke 18:16
D – Dress appropriately for the event (flip flops vs sneakers; awards ceremony/representatives; brush your teeth, no gum chewing; clean) 2 Corinthians 6:3
O – Open the doors…of conversation, of encouragement, and the real doors, too. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
R – Respond quickly with kindness; be aware of your surroundings and others 1 Peter 3:15

Year #2 -DISCIPLES based on Acts 11:26 “The disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.” Christians = little Christs; Christians = Disciples = Christians

• We spread the letters over the four large groups, review before going on, look up every scripture, take notes in our handbooks.
• Workshops: Creed (Apostle’s Creed and learning sign language), Group games, Worship Art, Bible Ninja skills
• Two hour discovery time (puttputt, hill climbing, walking, playing ball on the lawn, unstructured but planned) right after lunch

Large group: What does a Christian disciple look like; practices we live out? Handbook fillins….
D – Declare Jesus Lord (in charge) of your life* – 1 Timothy 4:12
I – Invest your time in godly training – 1 Corinthians 9:24-25
S – Super willing to learn – 1 Timothy 3:14-15
C – Creative – Genesis 1:26-27
I – Involved in a gathering of believers – Hebrews 10:25
P – Prayerful in all things – Philippians 4:6-7
L – Leading others to become disciples – 2 Timothy 2:2
E – Establish your heart and mind in the words of God – Psalm 119:11
S – Serve others – Galatians 5:13 

*G= God created us to be w/Him (Gen 1)
O= Our own way; Our sins separate us from a holy, perfect God (Gen 3)
S= Sins can not be removed by good deeds (Gen 4; Mal 4)
P= Paying the price for sin, God’s only son Jesus died and rose again (Matt-Luke)
E= Everyone who trusts in Jesus alone has eternal life (John 3:16)
L= Life with Jesus starts now here on earth and lasts forever aka Kingdom of Heaven (Acts-Rev)

The Ambassador Road Trip is perfect for multiple small churches taking on specific elements to stage together; meet up in a district or local camp/park spot. The 2024 Ambassador Road Trip is scheduled for April due to Easter being celebrated at the end of March and is sponsored by various children’s ministry champions who serve multiple churches and editing to excellence cycle #1 – Ambassadors. Want to be part of the 2024 Ambassador Road Trip team? Contact me directly at dedereilly@comcast.net or our team leader Kate Morris at morriskt@bellsouth.net.

What does a developmentally appropriate retreat life look like for your pre-teens?

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“Taking people away from their regular life for a few days, and offering them a season of activity, intense focus without distractions, peer-to-peer interaction and Bible influence is perhaps one of the greatest investments in people’s lives.” – Henrietta Mears from “Teacher: The Henrietta Mears Story”

Each June and July, we offer a summer jubilee to our regular, weekend, and weekday servant leaders because (1) everyone needs a Sabbath season, (2) a summer jubilee invites our regulars to re-connect with an adult Sunday small group, (3) it invites new servant leaders to test the waters or serve a short season with great intentionality in ministry with children.

Jubilee = a season of emancipation, celebration, and restoration.

Our numbers are typically a bit smaller, but more than what one-room Sunday school can offer if relationship building (with Jesus and one another) is always the goal of Sunday mornings.

What do we do?

I begin asking questions in January/February and listening for what folks in our church are individually working on and invite them to share what they are learning with our littles in June and July. What are they talking about when I ask, “Hey! What are your doing right now that brings you joy?”

Large group is led by me and includes another group game and/or another song along with the Bible study part extending our time from 20-30 minutes. This summer, students are then dismissed to two classes for 30 minutes:

#1 – Building with power tools for 3rd-5th graders
A fabulous general contractor comes with power tools and several projects to build over the summer. I reimburse his supply expenses. The first year/season, I recruited his ‘assistants’. This year I asked him to invite some of his buddies to join him as his ‘assistants.’ With safety goggles, aprons (I provided) and nail gun and table saw (he provided) students learn and practice safety and more with his four (FOUR!) assistants. And by golly, he made sure everyone had gone through Safe Sanctuary training, arrived early, and staged his Sunday classroom on Saturday. First year, do the task. Second year, invite others to join the journey and build a team.

#2 – Building our communication skills with sign language for Kindergarten-2nd graders
As part of our 10-hour intern’s winter/spring semester at college, she began taking several sign language classes in the evening. She will teach fingerspelling and songs to our littles to present in three children’s moments this summer. We recruited her ‘assistants’ at the Bring Your Parents to Sunday School and several youth/adults stepped up to learn alongside the littles by seeing the summer class promoted in the bulletin the month before.

Other than the two class leaders, everyone else is a first-time or second-time servant in children’s ministry. The skills they learn will be ones they can use to serve their church.

At the first parenting workshop at my home church a long time ago, the presenter shared: Choose your kid’s extracurricular activities so that your child(ren) can use them to serve/share in the Body of Christ. She continued: If your family is going to invest a ton of time, money, and relationships in an extracurricular that will be a priority for your family, be sure your kids see it as a tool for growing their discipleship. Our experience: music, marching band, and drumming for #1 Son; theatre, travel, and communication for Baby Girl. This filter for which extracurriculars we were sold-out-for was one of the best decisions we ever made.

Paul’s letter to the Ephesians directed the apostles, teachers, prophets, and church leaders to ‘equip the saints for good works to build up the Body of Christ.’ Oh we’re building alright. And the saints come in all shapes and sizes, all stages and ages.

What does Sunday morning summer programming look like for you?

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

Last week was the North Georgia United Methodist Church’s Annual Conference meeting in Athens, Georgia. I served as an at-large lay delegate for my district. I’ve been an at-large district lay delegate for many years. Why? (1) To bring back to the local church I serve information and resources available to help them fulfill the mission of ‘making disciples of Jesus Christ’. Resources available and funded by their apportionment dollars. (2) To cast my one vote to represent the laity serving in the trenches of the local church in ministry with littles and bigs in the decisions and movements of my conference.

As an at-large lay delegate for my district, I’m ‘in the room where it happens.’

There is a resource and vendor space with great information (ex: Discipleship Ministries) and multiple opportunities (ex: Camp Collinswood special needs camp). When the ‘room where it happens’ is on break (lunch, bathroom, etc.), it is in the hallways and the Atrium where people gather, chat, catch up, and make connections. Just like church!

Much like the church, rows facilitate receiving information and content. It is around tables and hallway chats where ideas are shared and families are celebrated. This is why children’s and family ministry champions around North Georgia make the trek to Athens to set up and serve at The Pop-up Kid’s Table. We pop-up in the Atrium near the main hallway for greater visibility and accessibility to people passing by. If there is a kid in the room (or a youth delegate) they come and sit-a-spell. These kidmin and family ministry champions didn’t have to be there; it was their day off. OH, how I love the kidmin tribe!

The Kid’s Table has games, books, and people (the church’s greatest resource!) available and accessible. Three champions were wearing t-shirts which read (1) Ask me about Training, (2) Ask me about Safe Sanctuary, (3) Ask me about Family Ministry. Other champions were wearing t-shirts from their children’s ministry and various shared children’s events.

The Kid’s Table also had that sacred and holy of all church snacks: Goldfish. With 150 snack bags in hand, we travelled in twos with Goldfish for an afternoon snack asking “Would You Rather: Bible Edition” questions from table to table AND even at the bottom of the escalator for those coming back from enjoying lunch offsite. Jesus never sent His disciples out one at a time, but rather in twos, threes, and up to seventy.

“I know your tummies are full from lunch, but around 3pm, you are going to wish you had a little snack to get ya to dinner. Will you answer a quick question for an afternoon snack?”

We laughed our heads off and met so many people sharing the joy of the Lord and the gathering of His people. Trivia questions would’ve been stressful and intimating, but asking someone, “Would you rather be in the stable when Jesus was born OR be in the tomb when Jesus was resurrected?” made for thoughtful responses. No right or wrong answer, just thoughtful. Then a Goldfish snack bag for just stopping and giving us thirty seconds.  At a time when folks are super serious, laughter and joy is healthy and contagious.

Last Sunday our church set the table for a celebration of ministry luncheon for our retiring senior pastor and his wife. The line for lunch was long. Really long. Crazy long. Some folks were chatting, but many were in line alone or not chatting. Just waiting; frequently checking to see if the line had moved. So I pulled out those Would You Rather questions and worked my way through the line. I didn’t interrupt those who were chatting, but asked folks questions like “Would you rather have been at the Last Supper or on the hill when Jesus fed the 5,000?” to offer respite, a distraction, and a chance to laugh. All of a sudden, the line didn’t seem so long.

“Would you rather have been a shepherd when Jesus’ birth was announced OR one of the magi who visited Jesus at Mary’s house?”

On what and where can we focus our learning to take us to the next level of professionalism and success AND build our perseverance muscles? When we begin our seasons of local church ministry, we only know what we know. It’s what we DON’T know that can take our legs out from under us and leave us paddling for our ministry lives. Another theme for Advent and a reading plan for Lent will not cut it.

“Ministry leaders are more likely to survive when they know what they are getting into and how to navigate the challenges.” p. 138 from When Women Lead: Embrace Your Authority, Move Beyond Barriers, and Find Joy in Leading Others.

Once you get to the point of lifting your head from the calendar and demands of ‘Sunday’s always coming’, a professional will realize the skills that got them the job will not lead them to a place of health and thriving without some additional skills. What else do we need to know?

In chapter 8 of When Women Lead, Rev. Dr. Carolyn Moore suggests an emphasis on focused, professional training in at least four major areas. I wrote of the first two in part 1 of this 2-part series which can be found here.

Here are two other areas of skill-building I totally agree with:

Vocational Development – training in identifying the right situation for each skill set, identifying coaches and mentors, and in networking. 

Resources:
Lead Like A Shepherd by Larry Osborne
Podcasts: Kids Ministry 101 by Lifeway, Lead Podcast by Josh Denhart, Small Groups in the Wesleyan Way by Discipleship Ministries
Fusion by Nelson Searcy
Connect by Nelson Searcy
Sustainable Children’s Ministry by Ministry Architects
Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations by Robert Schnase

One thing I did because of what I learned…

Before social media, the only local network of leaders I could get to was for lunch at quarterly CEF meetings (Christian Educators Fellowship) and the monthly tri-county Preschool Directors networking groups. I would attend with a legal pad of questions. While the participants stood in line for food, I’d go down the line and chat with folks to get answers to the most pressing questions because these were the professional Christian educators in the trenches and they were all in one place. Sometimes I actually ate lunch, but mostly not.

One thing I still do today because of what I learned…

Intentionally build relationships with new and experienced staff hired from the pew from across North Georgia. I make it a priority of gathering and collaborating with others in the trenches of the local church leading littles and bigs to Jesus. I make it a priority to schedule and drive to wherever my peers will gather in small groups to discover who has amazing skills in budgeting, staffing, volunteering, negotiating, special events, hospitality, church development, research, curriculum, resources, holy habits, child development, social media, and communication. I connect people for ministry in community.

I’m contacted almost weekly by healthy, great churches looking to build their team for ministry with children and families. Frankly, the pickings are slim because most folks won’t take the time to network and build relationships outside their current local church. As more churches re-org the organizational chart in the next 3-5 years, those who fail to build relationships through face-to-face networking, even occasionally, will regret it. We all need mentors, coaches, and door openers. Building relationships through face-to-face networking makes having all three so much easier and costs us nothing, but prioritizing the time to attend every opportunity that arises.

I’m also contacted almost monthly by hurt, broken, blindsided kidmin champions who never thought they’d be looking for a new position. Building relationships outside our own houses is a necessary priority. How can I help?

“Here’s a cold, hard fact: no one is going to advocate for you, your gifts, or your circumstances quite like  you will advocate for yourself, your gifts, and your circumstances.” When Women Lead, p. 149

Personal Development – training in time management and life rhythms

Resources:
Creating a Healthier Church by Ronald Richardson (this one kept me in ministry)
The Daily Drucker by Peter F. Drucker
Ministry Chick by Melissa Mashburn (I met the author because of a bodacious ask!)
Good to Great by Jim Collins (I’m quoting and living by this one almost every day)
Stride by Ken Willard (purposeful generational discipleship)
Attended and participated in the Walk to Emmaus movement (the recipe for living a life of grace)

One thing I did because of what I learned…

Schedule balcony time to set goals twice each year and unofficially edit my job description of the local church I’m serving each January. Setting goals go along with an overall discipleship pathway for an extended period of time and edit that to excellence. Editing my job description reminds me what I’m being evaluated on (the original job description for which I was hired) and what do I need to set aside that I’ve mysteriously inherited over the last year which is not my lane. This guards my heart and my head to spend my best time and creative energies to meet my priorities and take spiritual authority over my call to ministry for the next season.

One thing I still do today because of what I learned…all of the above.

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen” 2 Peter 3:18

Once we get to the point of lifting our heads from the calendar and demands of ‘Sunday’s always coming’, a professional will realize the skills that got us the job will not lead us to a place of health and thriving without some additional skills. What else do we need to know?

There was so much I really enjoyed in Rev. Dr. Carolyn Moore’s book I listened to it on Audible, as well. Filled with honorable storytelling and diligent fact-gathering, every turn of the page held greater weight for leading with authority and intentionality. This resource is for women AND men navigating the tension of what one naturally brings to the table and what is needed in reality.

Chapter 8: Equipping: Real-World Stuff Everyone Needs to Learn was the chapter of greatest interest for this less-than-formally-taught Christian Educator.  

Dr. Moore begins the chapter with the reminder that the ‘activity of strategy’ is what most church folk are looking for. But “until  I’ve done the foundational work of discovering my identity in Christ, of understanding what it means to take spiritual authority over my call, of making peace with the fact that I live in a fallen world, no amount of strategy will stick.” p. 137

If you are in this discovery, acceptance, and submission phase, I’m here for you. If you are lacking a liturgy for suffering, hurt, and perseverance to get you to the next place of perseverance, I’m here for you, too.

“Ministry leaders are more likely to survive when they know what they are getting into and how to navigate the challenges.” p. 138

Rev. Dr. Moore suggests an emphasis on focused, professional training in at least four major areas. I’ll list two below and add where I’ve discovered the most valuable for me.

Fund Development and Management – training in how to negotiate and financial leadership

Only the Lord knew that my dad’s insistence that I attend the local business college in finance the summer between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college would equip me with the language and rhythm of finance. Dr. Moore writes, “Discipleship gets real when we begin teaching and training in the area of money.”

Resources: 

Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey
Not Your Parent’s Offering Plate by J. Clif Christopher
Getting the Word Out: How to Market Your Ministry by Bunnie Jackson-Ransom

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned?

I was hired by a church to start a Family Ministry which included a weekday preschool and connections with the incoming students on the college campus on which the church was located. After six months the US economy tanked and the church leadership, led by retired professors, held their giving tightly. My salary had been provided for three years by an anonymous gift, but now there was no money for ministry. Looking at what was in my hand, I began selling hot pizza and cold Gatorades 10pm-1am Monday-Thursdays in the dorm parking lots to all the summer camps. I did this for all three summers I served there to fund the effective ministry for which I was hired.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned? 

I write thank you notes with stories twice each year to those who give to the children’s ministry designated account and other stakeholders in the ministry I’m responsible for. Without knowing the amount, I ask our financial lead for the list of donors who have given directly. Compiling stories in a google doc I’ll prepare a letter of thankfulness.  ‘Let me tell you how your investment in the kingdom is making a world of difference.’ 75% of the letter will be about the immediate past. 25% of the letter will be about the vision and plans for the upcoming season with an invitation to participate with their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness and bring your neighbors. This a best practice for all non-profits.

“Thankfulness strengthens relationships.” – Network for Good, LinkedIn

Leadership Development – training in team-based leadership

Resources:

The Servant by James C. Hunter
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek
Every book written by Patrick Lencioni
When Women Lead by Carolyn Moore
Small Groups For The Rest of Us by Chris Surrat

One thing I did because of what I’ve learned…

Years ago the only leadership development opportunities were led by and for Christian men, yet I still attended and brought other Christian women with me to such events at Catalyst, Children’s Pastors Conference, Drive, Stephen Covey, and read everything I could get my hands on about organizational leadership. I would start and lead Bible and book studies in small groups when I was available and when it would fit my own personal schedule. I hoped folks would come. They did. They do.

One thing I still do today because of what I’ve learned:

I make it a priority to attend any free online training by people in the trenches, not just authors, such as She Leads Church (Christian women leaders in the marketplace and church space), Bible Creatives (those in the trenches of teaching Sunday school each week), and Children’s Pastors Conference (intentional leadership for me a disciple-maker AND as a disciple of Jesus).

Where have you received training in the areas of organizational money management and leadership development?

Next week I’ll cover the other two all-important skills Rev. Dr. Moore suggests. In the mean time, consider reading or listening to at least two books this summer in one of these areas especially if you intend on taking your ministry leadership to the next level and building those perseverance muscles.

“Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author, 1930-2009

During the quarantine, I researched the fruitfulness of VBS the way we’d always done it. Yes, we involved a slew of people to volunteer. Yes, we had crowds of kids in the hundreds. Yes, we threw everything we had at the walls, every wall, for an entire week. I found no new family connections for all that investment the traditional VBS way for us going back several years prior to 2020.

We had to do VBS differently in 2020. We chose a tailgate party with a jacked-up VBS large group for the families to enjoy at three different times on Thursday nights. Why Thursdays? Once everything returned (we really thought we’d be back in a few weeks) it would not interfere with other ministries returning. 

For the next 14 weeks, we gathered so our families ‘would not become accustomed to doing life without us’ after the initial 12 weeks of drive-thru family ministry every Tuesday at 1pm in March, April, and May. So we did parking lot family VBS every Thursday night in June, July, and August. The stage was a sidewalk. The classroom was their vehicle.

What happened? We had five new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner winner!

Summer 2021 rolled around and there lingered a continued caution. So we planned another Family VBS as a drive-in service playing games as a family, telling stories about Jesus, theming out each evening in June & July, dancing and singing praises to the Lord. We highlighted and involved a different ministry each night (ex: Men’s Ministry on Nerf Game Night). Five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Winner, winner!

Summer 2022 rolled around and we decided to continue this different Family VBS because (1) it was connectionally fruitful, (2) we didn’t need as many volunteers (still an issue today for almost everyone), (3) we added some table life to it through a generous donation to include a food truck each night and an ice cream truck going into neighborhoods immediately following and (4) we had one service to throw at it everything we had. 

What we learned from Family VBS 2022?

• The table life added more stress as only 3 out of 5 food trucks proved reliable.
• Including tables meant more volunteers and set up was a bear as take down had to be complete before moving on to anything else in the wicked heat.
• Rather than the tables being a space to engage as a family, it separated adults from their kids.
• Leaving to escort an ice cream truck into a local neighborhood meant some folks were left eating in the parking lot due to late food trucks. Missed hospitality.
• More families attended since it wasn’t in one single week, but were able to schedule out one or more of the 5 Thursdays in June and felt they didn’t miss a thing. Consistency matters.
• We had five more new families connected in at least a 2nd way with the church family by October. Still a connectional winner.

So what about 2023? 

We are doing Family VBS again because (1) it continues to be connectionally fruitful, (2) we don’t need as many volunteers and the volunteers can be different every week, (3) we are using a larger, shaded, grassy area which can be seen and heard from the street which is now available, (4) Using ReFocus Ministry’s generational discipleship curriculum: Talk Tools, (5) better stewardship of a decreasing budget, (6) we have 3 rounds of VBS training which explains our WHY and practices hospitality skills.

The schedule looks like this: “Building our faith this summer as we ‘serve one another humbly in love’” (Galatians 5:13)

5:45pm – Building stations w/art station, magnetile station, lego station, straws/connector station. In years passed we’d use consumables. This year, we will use items we can repurpose in the Welcome Center to better steward the VBS budget.

6:10pm – Assume-your-positions song: Take Me Back to Church by Cochren & Co.

6:15pm – Worship Music begins (start song: He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands – this year’s call to worship) with another song (we build a Spotify playlist w/VBS songs we curate)

6:20pm – Family games (provided by ReFocus) transitioning to story with a song

6:30pm – Bible story (always about Jesus)
6:35pm – Family response activity (by ReFocus)

6:45pm – Family affirmations (by ReFocus)

6:50pm – JumpStart3 Matthew 7:24-25 House On The Rock! closing song w/invite, “We’ve loved spending the evening together and would love to get to know you better. We’ll be packing everything up by 7pm and heading to ? restaurant for dinner and would love to have you join us.” We tested some dine-out locations during Lent and have made arrangements with local restaurants we’re going to. This lets us be a ‘good neighbor’ together.

Follow-up (setting the table for the next step in generational discipleship right quickly)

1. Sunday morning building our faith continues in June & July with Sign Language class for K5-2nd grades & Power Tool Building class for 3rd-5th graders. Looks like McEachern Academy.
2. Invites to various Christmas in July events in July aka Christmas caroling to shut-ins, snow machines, marshmallow games, Tall/Small Paint Party, Women’s Ministry potluck & sundae bar, Promotion Sunday, Prayer Warrior Bootcamp, National Ice Cream Sunday at the Gaga Ball pit.

If you are local or local enough and would like to bring a bus/van/car load of kids (your church kids or just the ones you live with) to see what it looks like, we’d love to have ya. We’ll take care of the programming.

I love VBS and all that it entails, if it’s fruitful and blesses the socks off littles and bigs alike. I also love doing generational discipleship which is fruitful and measurable. And I REALLY love dancing before the Lord in praise on Thursday nights with little people and their bigs. By the way, our Student ministry is handing out freeze pops each Thursday night at the end because building our faith through serving together is generational discipleship. Our Women’s Ministry small groups are rolling out the red carpet in as the hospitality team for each Thursday. Teamwork at its best!

“Serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13

A beloved weekday preschool teacher passed away a few weeks ago after a long illness. A text from a long-ago colleague just last Saturday evening shared that a dad had unexpectedly passed away. Inquiries on kidmin social media groups are coming in almost weekly asking what do I do and what resources to provide when death takes a loved one, so I thought I’d put all that I’ve used in one place.

When a family I serve is expecting family to come to town for the service, I typically will drop off a couple of books along with multiple bags of various paper products: paper plates, toilet paper, paper towels, utensils, Ziploc bags, travel coffee cups, cold beverage paper cups, and trash bags.

When a family I serve is having to travel or arrangements have not been made, I’ll typically drop off a couple of books along with ice cream cones and a half-gallon of really good ice cream. No-mess and no-dishes, but a sweet treat for those late night conversations of ‘Where’s grandpa?”

What books? I keep several copies of each on my shelf because, well, you never know. Below are listed my favorites. Amber O’Neal Johnston, Heritage Mom, reminds me to choose books which are both windows and mirrors. I’m very mindful of ‘who’ passed away and ‘what’ that mirror should like in illustrations, so I’m always on the lookout for new books.

Someone I Loved Died by Christine Harder Tangvald –  A small paperback, this is a story with multiple places to draw and respond with images of a grandparent. “When one of God’s people dies, God moves the breath of life  back out of the body to a special place we call Heaven, a place we can’t see right now.”

When I’m With Jesus by Kimberly Rae – A small paperback, this story is told by a mom. “When someone you love is gone, you feel sad. Talk to Jesus about it. He understands. He had to leave His Father for a awhile and it was hard for Him, too.”

The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland – A short story which opens with a child losing a balloon. “But as sad as I am now. I can always get another balloon. But I can never have another you. I miss you.” The child gathers stories and items of remembrance, “I’m making a box so I won’t forget you, with our memories like sand from the beach where we played and left footprints as we ran from crashing waves.” 

Someday Heaven by Larry Libby – A beautiful book illustrated by Wayne McLoughlin which answers questions about Heaven with biblical backup: Where is heaven? How long does it take to get there? Will I need money in Heaven? Will it always be light in Heaven? Is there a beach in Heaven? It was this book which walked me through my grief when my Dad passed in 2005. I was scheduled to teach my 4th-6th grade girls Sunday school class the following Sunday. I was able to share with them what my daddy was doing while we were in Sunday school. The edition illustrated by Tim Jonke is extended and my personal favorite. I think every children’s ministry leader should have a copy of this and the other two books by Larry Libby, illustrated by Tim Jonke: Someone Awesome (Jesus) and Somewhere Angels. 

The Awesome Super Fantastic Forever Party by Joni Eareckson Tada – a hardback with whimsical illustrations describing Heaven and the new Heaven for really littles, “When Jesus comes back to this world, he will bring heaven with him. Heaven and earth will join together.”

Gone But Never Forgotten by Pamela Rae Hughey – a paperback of remembering a grandmother the children never knew yet their parents share memorable experiences about her. “”Where did she go? Will she ever come back?’ ‘No, she went to heaven to be with God, and that’s that. Now, her spirit is in heaven, and she no longer feels pain, but in the ground is where her body remains.”

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst – a story of a mom calming her twins through a storm with an invisible string. “You don’t need to see the Invisible String. People who love each other are always connected by a very special String made of love.”

Tell Me About Heaven by Randy Alcorn – a story written for older children to answer a young boy’s questions, “What’s it like where Grammy is?” in a narrative to answer some of the questions about Heaven.

Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen – a more advanced read-aloud about grief after loss. “Grandy put on her apron because she knew it would get messy. It seems that grief is never clean. Grief always takes longer to cook than anyone wants it to.” 

The Next Place by Warren Hanson – a child’s whimsical read-aloud with text curved and turned on the pages. “Though I will know the joy of solitude…I’ll never be alone.”

Tell Me The Secrets by Max Lucado – a lovely book of a retired missionary couple who befriend and share life with a trio of tweens. A beautiful book of multiple short stories of wonder, awe, and loss. Lucado’s companion book Tell Me The Story is one I read aloud on every retreat at lights-out.

Which books I deliver with either paper products or ice cream depends on the age of the child and who has passed away and how far along the grief journey my friend has traveled. It’s an honor and privilege to walk alongside families while navigating loss as a remarkable moment of life. 

How do you walk alongside your families? Which books are on your shelf?

“To all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12

Praying outside, wandering along a pre-set path makes me slow my pace, linger in prayer, and delight myself in the wonder and thoughts of the saints who have gone before me. For kids it’s a pre-set race path. Or at least the first time they see it and that’s okay. I rushed through lots of things as a child. That’s okay, too.

A labyrinth is simply a place to walk and pray or think. There is nothing mystical about it. It gives you the freedom to walk around while focusing your mind on God – and not worry about getting lost. A labyrinth contains a single walking path to the center and then back out again. Labyrinths are used world-wide as a way to quiet the mind, calm anxieties, recover balance in life, enhance creativity and encourage meditation, insight, self-reflection, and stress reduction.

I’ve always wanted one for littles and bigs to enjoy. Using a labyrinth we introduce a connection with the holy habits of saints of the church with our current students. Having one outside is perfect to enjoy anytime.

It took us a year to paint due to the weather, but an amazing servant leader with an art background helped us prepare a proposal to our church trustees to draw and paint a classical labyrinth in a distant corner of our parking lot. Drawn with a piece of chalk she attached to a long piece of PVC pipe, the outline was painted white and the inside path was painted blue with parking lot paint. The center was painted with our children’s ministry logo. The center can certainly be changed at any time. If some folks don’t want it in the future, time and constantly driving over it can fix that or painting over it in black will do the trick.

Since then, an Eagle Scout project filled in the lingering space with a box to hold laminated paperwork for teaching and practicing prayer, a bench, and some low-maintenance landscaping.

I’ve used it at our Fall Festival as a ‘station’, the first stop of a S’more Jesus Late Night, on Kid’s Bible study night when the weather was exceptionally beautiful, and as part of the Easter Story Walk on Palm Sunday. Many times I go out there to take a break on a long 10-hour on-campus day.

There have been some amazing prayer labyrinths making inside and outside spaces sacred. With tools as simple as a couple of strings of Christmas lights, stacking cans from a food pantry, or some painted on tarp-like material which makes it easily mobile, a labyrinth can happen almost anywhere. Here are a few to consider:

St. Johns in San Francisco with Christmas lights https://theresaecho.com/2020/10/19/a-labyrinth-pandemic-friendly/

St. Johns in San Francisco on a small patch of land alongside a sidewalk https://theresaecho.com/2023/04/06/building-a-succulent-labyrinth/

Want to find a labyrinth in your area? Check out https://labyrinthlocator.com/home

When kids use a labyrinth, they’ll run through it like a maze. Be okay with it. The more we use it, the slower the pace becomes. It’s become a fabulous meet-up space on campus. Do you have a space on campus which can be turned into a prayer labyrinth?

“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” Acts 2;28