Two books have me fired up right now.

One Body by Sam Halverson was passed along to me in a stack of books about family ministry. There are almost as many words underlined in blue ink (my signature ink color) than there are black-inked words in the book. I had to rein in my blue ink. Sam is an elder in the United Methodist Church who leads a North Georgia local church with a bent to integrate children and youth into the life of the WHOLE church. He articulately explains the slow fade to silos of the last decades’ church growth model built around charismatic leaders and attractional events. His onramps for youth (and I’ll include children) into the life of the church are not just to look cute and sing a song in worship occasionally, nor just serve a breakfast and set up/take down tables for a big church event. It’s all about time and space to build intergenerational relationships.

Children and youth learn best how to love Jesus and commit to the Christian community by spending time with adults who love Jesus and are committed to Christian community. Where are we guaranteed to be in Christian community? The local church! Sam invites us to look beyond paying a young adult to be our kid’s Christian event coordinator and Christian friend. Rather, let’s empower the director of children and youth ministries to make space and intentional invitation for the intergenerational congregation with onramps to, as we claim in our baptismal vows, so order our lives after the example of Christ that this child, surrounded by steadfast love, may be ESTABLISHED IN THE FAITH AND CONFIRMED AND STRENGTHENED in the way that leads to LIFE ETERNAL. (emphasis mine)

How’s that working for you?

Sam explains that when we hire leaders of family ministry outside the denomination, these leaders don’t know how the denomination views the body of Christ. They certainly don’t have time to include that framework in their first year learning curve of database, community, personalities, and room reservations. They might not know how music should be so diverse as to articulate our faith story and our faith history. 

As Michayla White, CEO of International Network of Children’s Ministry, reminded the church innovators at the 2022 Exponential Conference for church innovators, the Deuteronomy 6 passage we throw at parents all the time is the marching orders of an entire nation (body of believers), to teach God’s commands to the children and talk about them as you go, bind them on your hands, and write them on your doorposts.

How’s that working for you?

Sam does a fabulous job of reporting the obstacles we face, but also the many ways to live into our Christian adoption in our commission to make disciples of all nations (and ages) for the transformation of the world (in it for the long haul). When we live into adoption, some become children and some become parents. All of us!

Which brings me to the second book: Sailboat Church by Joan S. Gray. Joan is a teaching elder living in Atlanta of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) She explains rowboat churches as doing what they can with the resources they have. A rowboat church dismisses any spiritual realities and functions in the belief that the ultimate responsibility for everything rests on us. Instead, a sailboat church tends to focus not on their own situation, resources, or limitations but rather on discerning God’s unfolding will. They engage in intimate partnership with God, trusting God to provide and do what only God can do.

Sailboat churches train sailors who can navigate their way into God’s will. There is so much good to chew on and live into in this little book, but what jumped off the page was a bit about two things which consistently block God: the need for control and the need for comfort. Adopting a posture of sacrifice, of letting go, in these two areas will go a long way in helping the church set sail. (pg 55)

The struggle to control isn’t with malice, but rather a dismissive and disregard for creatives on the steering crew. Where in your local church is traction tended, taught, and energy happening where organizational goals are being met in creative and sailboat ‘led by the Spirit’ ways? Are those leaders invited to the table for ideation or treated with a pat on the head with a ‘You do you, Boo. We’ve got this’? 

The other element to sacrifice is that of comfort. We all have our personal routines aka taking the summer off, zoning out at staff meetings until I get to talk about my area, having an opinion for every area of the church as the expert on absolutely everything, speaking/guarding things for others so they aren’t uncomfortable, keeping information to myself and not sharing it for the good of the whole body, unopen to negotiation and unwilling to see the value of changing something up for a bit, etc.

Today I choose to come to every table with a spirit of YES and trust God’s provision He’s given everything needed to accomplish the goals He’s set. I want to move to CATCH the wind and in a state of anxious expectation the Holy Spirit is alive and active in our midst. I want to live in a state of risk and imagination for the whole body to proclaim the truth of the gospel to the parish the Lord has called me to serve. And I’m taking people with me to work and power that sailboat as God sees fit because we’re better together, one body, rethinking and pioneering the practices that will invite others on this very uncontrolled and uncomfortable ride. Our great God is trustworthy! Who’s in?

“I look upon all the world as my parish; thus far I mean, than in whatever part of it I am, I judge it meet, right, and my bounden duty to declare, unto all that are willing to hear, the glad tidings of salvation. This is the work which I know God has called me to. And sure I am that His blessing attends it.” – John Wesley

Having served on staff at several local churches there are interesting stories attached to furniture, windows, and land. There is unique vocabulary attached to spaces and places on campus which most people have no idea what you’re talking about, especially those new to the church. This is why we offer I Love My Church, a faith milestone for 1st and 2nd graders and their families. 

This age group are good readers, so they can follow signage inside and outside the buildings on campus to lead us (leaders and parents) to various locations. This age group can articulate and re-share a good story, too. The event covers all of 45 minutes.

I learned early on in family ministry that families will make certain faith training a priority because they are milestones like Confirmation. For this reason we chose very specific holy habits to teach and practice which are developmentally appropriate for each age level. To make it even stickier for our littles, they must attend with a big they love and who loves them. If they do not have a big, we will get them one and we do. The holy habit is important, but an intergenerational relationship with another follower of Jesus  is even more important. A great by-product is that a little attending with a big who loves them will take care of Safe Sanctuary compliance and all class management issues.

We start in the Children’s Welcome Center with a resource for the parents and give a packet with stickers for each little person to keep track of where we’re going. We talk about the difference between a church year (liturgical) calendar (round) and at their home (rectangle). We talk about liturgical colors and names for spaces, then head out to explore.

Our first stop is the original chapel (celebrating 90 years open this upcoming Pentecost Sunday!) and compare what they see with what they’ve seen in the spaces they know: aisle, books, pews, altar rails, organ, piano, choir loft, etc. Then I tell stories I’ve gathered from the saints of the church who were more than happy to supply me with dramatic stories of that space oh so many years ago. Our chapel has been in several movies! We share how it’s used today: weekly prayer groups, bi-lingual worship on Sunday, weddings, funerals, and other remarkable moments of a follower’s life.

We moved on to see the pastor’s office and to my office. We took a fire escape downstairs (an element of surprise) to explore the current sanctuary/worship space. We travel and define words like narthex, vestibule, pew, pulpit, communion table, etc. We read a couple of the honor-plates on furniture and I tell stories. Lots of stories. Lots of exploring and touching and laughing and running about paraments, symbols, and how they all point us to Jesus engaging all five senses.

When we return to the Children’s Welcome Center I ask questions about new spaces, new vocabulary, and the new friends they met. I give out certificates, offer a take-home coloring book, and we take a ‘class photo.’ 

Bonus: While all the littles’ teaching is taking place, their parents are chatting to get to know each other and learning the stories of their church family all along the way. Relationships with their children and age-level in common!

How could you set aside a time to teach of the sacred spaces and places where you lead littles and tell the stories which invite them to belong?

“I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.” Psalm 89:1

T Shirts are the best advertising you can do for a church. Not only does a t-shirt mark an event, but it also marks you and me telling the world something about you and me.

Oh the possibilities of colors, styles, and even fabrics. My guidelines for t-shirts are to order a size up to make space for fabric choice and cut, a color which is easily washed (not red/black), and white ink because the image or print looks sharp and clean. I don’t typically put a date on a shirt, but I am all about inking tees in the holy scriptures.

As the credits rolled following a great Children’s Pastors Conference online event, the amazing team members were marked with not-your-typical titles. It got me thinking about my team and what titles would make my team smile. A quick search for creative job titles and it got me thinking.

Who on your team would enjoy these titles on a t-shirt?
Head Unicorn Wrangler
Calculating Connoisseur
Creator of Opportunities
Professor of Adventure
Chaos Coordinator
Ringleader
Executive Sherpa
Answer Captain
Soul Shepherd
Video Visionary
Tech Ninja
Messaging Maestro
Chief of Chat
Sitting Ministry Lead
Number Ninja
Vice President of Miscellaneous Stuff
Head of First Impressions
Energy Ambassador
Director of Fun
Chief Inspiration Officer
Happiness Hero
Ambassador of Buzz

I’ve just ordered a 4-pack of lightweight t-shirts from Amazon and will be delivering them to a Jesus gal on my team who has a machine to prepare some t-shirts for this summer’s Food Truck Church season. It’s Dinner Church, but with a Food Truck. Drive-in services in our parking lot for kids with adults in the car every Thursday evening for families.

What would you choose for your t-shirt?

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

“Thank you for investing in me as a professional Christian educator and as a sister in Christ. Thank you for providing the means and support for continuing education so that we are always serving at our best.” This is the text I sent to some members of our church’s Staff Parish Relations Committee and my supervisor the week I gathered with other professional Christian educators for an online conference I shared with other kidmin leaders.

If ever there was a time to model Christian community and deep dive into learning the best practices for reaching our community for Jesus, this is it. Travel days at the beginning and end of a conference invite us to share how and what we offer the families we serve. We talk about curriculum, special events, and tell stories of God’s faithfulness among our families and our community. We laugh, we snack, we get caught up in one another’s lives in faithful Christian community. We visit sacred spaces along the way. We laugh our heads off. (The picture above is of the Augusta Wesley Foundation’s worship space in downtown Augusta)

We work together to prepare and share meals, we chat about books we’ve read, people we’ve met, and which blogs/podcasts we are gleaning from to be catalysts for organizational health, to be better teachers and team members. We talk ministry in the local church 24/7. Really. 24/7. If we’re awake, we talk about Jesus and how we’re living a disciple’s life. We share struggles. We pray. 

The online conference provides the content and direction of conversations and ideas for how to roll out the best information in our contexts. We push back and wrestle some stuff to the ground. We stay at the table.

When the conference content is finished for the day, it’s time to process what we heard. We take care of our bodies (bike rides and coffee…more table life) and talk through the best of what we can take home to steward the ministry and families to the next level which may prove effective, relevant, developmentally appropriate in partnership with the families and staff team we serve.

So many holy habits practiced (prayer, Bible reading, serving, worship, learning, giving testimony, Christian community) as we model and live a disciple’s life in Christian community alongside other faithful disciples.

At the 2022 Children’s Pastors Conference we chose the online platform offered. CPC+ is presented by the amazing disciples at INCM, International Network of Children’s Ministry.  The online platform was less expensive for registration, housing, and transportation in good budget stewardship this year for several of us in February while other colleagues were able to participate at the in-person event in January. 

We’ve planned a CPC Recap event to share with our family ministry colleagues this week about bummer lambs, evangelism in any environment, tools to invite, incite, and equip families, as well as toolbelt tools to fight spiritual warfare and the differences in offering Bible knowledge and Bible wisdom for littles today. That was just the first day! In-person and online participants will be sharing at the recap hosted by an Alpharetta local church kidmin team for we are better together.

At the Child Discipleship Summit in Charleston two weeks later, we worked in small groups on how and why we must advance our maps for church growth of edu-tainment to the ‘twin cities’ of faithfulness and lasting faith as we fight secularism and teach our kids their truest identity is as a child of God. This room of leaders are pushing the doors and windows to lead littles into a radical pursuit of God, the total annihilation of idols, the resetting of altars in the home, at church, and in the community, wholehearted obedience to God’s Word, and the restoration of redemptive practices. We are missionaries in a land hostile to the things of God! Let’s draw new maps together.

The more I’ve chatted with others about what I’ve learned, the easier it is to bring a lot of great content into chewable pieces to implement and filter in my context. The Lord is setting the table today for what effective discipleship looks like, sounds like, smells like, and feels like in 2030 and beyond. I’ll bring a folding chair to the table the Lord is setting if I have to.

What are you learning? How are you processing what’s coming into your brain and getting lit up by the fire of your Holy Spirit? What’s the barrier for family discipleship in your context? What could be the greatest accelerator for family discipleship? 

“You can hold confetti and kleenex at the same time.” – Michayla White, CEO, INCM, CPC+2022

“Our children will look back on their childhood and find we created a lukewarm church. We’ve been asleep at the wheel.” – Rev. Jon Tyson, Child Discipleship Summit 2022

Staff-Parish Committees work overtime when staff teams shift. Local churches are paddling like ducks below the surface with remote staffing, the Great Resignation, and families shifting to be closer to their loved ones. Including the children’s ministry leader early on in the search for a youth/student leader or weekday preschool director would be of great benefit to a local church’s organizational health.   Those who lead littles and not-so-littles serve the same families, share much of the same spaces, require coordinating calendars of special events with the same leaders, and overlap in developmentally appropriate discipleship for entire families. How they work together can make or break a discipleship pathway, and do unnecessary harm or incredible good to a local church staff culture.

This we know: 

• If someone is applying for a professional position in a local church, it’s a given he/she loves the Lord, is in love with His Word, and desires to set the table for spiritual growth for those they serve.
• We have an enemy who will do his darndest to mess that up. 

How the table is set for the start of a great relationship between the kidmin lead and the youth or preschool/nursery leads would include inquiries to how people work, how people learn, what sucks the life out of someone, and how people feel appreciated.

If I were invited to be on the search team, I’d ask questions that related to their systems, logistics, communication, tools, their experience in sharing spaces, accessibility, budgets, and Safe Sanctuary. These are the items that can make or break a working relationship. The hard reality is that the lovely folks who make up the search team are not the folks the new hire will work alongside day in and day out. 

If I were invited to the table early on I would ask…..

What jobs did you do before going into professional ministry?
What tools do you use to communicate with leaders? Students? Parents?
What tools do you use to set your personal calendar?
How far in advance do you calendar? Communicate an event?
How do parents fit into your idea of ministry?
How does children’s ministry fit into your idea of ministry?
What ticks you off? (pet peeve?)
What blogs and podcasts are your first choices? (invite him/her to pull out his/her phone)
How do you learn to be a better director/leader?
How do you network with other directors/leaders in your profession?
What do you know about us/this organization?
Tell us about your ministry/professional friends.
What are your thoughts on Safe Sanctuary?
How do you get your worship on?
What do you do when you’re frustrated?
How do you celebrate a win in ministry?
Tell about a time you had to get something done even though it wasn’t your responsibility.
Would you consider yourself to have a strong work ethic? Share about a time you had to go over and above in a work situation.
What is your least favorite thing about leading in your ministry? What is your favorite?
Tell about the best boss you ever worked for? Best kidmin lead you ever served alongside? Best ministry partner?
When is your Sabbath?
Tell about your youth leader when you were in middle/high school.
Tell about the small group you are involved in right now.
What continuing education do you engage in?
What was a recent small group study you took?
What did you do during the quarantine?
How you do ministry today, why did you set it up that way? (middle & high together; middle with high)
What are your thoughts about Confirmation? (for student leaders)
What is your favorite season of ministry?
Tell about a time you got into trouble.
What is a favorite scripture passage to teach from?
What time do you typically wake up in the morning? Go to bed? Early riser? Night owl?
Tell about a time you had a major win in ministry.
What is your family tradition for Christmas Eve?
How do you feel appreciated at work?
What is your favorite board/card game you play right now?
What do you wish you knew when you started in ministry that you know now?
Tell about a couple of your dearest volunteers where you currently serve?
How do you serve as a volunteer today?
What do you want to be known for?
How often do you meet with a mentor?
What is the best way to communicate with you?
What have you learned about leading others through the last 18 months?

I want to be in his/her corner, not just in their circle. I hope they have questions for us. For me. Candidates for professional staff should have lots of questions for us, too. They are interviewing us as a team as much as we are interviewing them. I’d expect them to come prepared. I’d also expect the challenge of more than one candidate so those new on a search team have something to compare. Otherwise, everyone who loves the Lord is ‘impressive’ and there’s not an opportunity to adequately discern the ‘best candidate’ to take the organization to the next level.  Ministry is work and it’s the best work you can do with a healthy, collaborative and innovative team sharing the journey well from the get-go.

How a team works together and appreciates one another can make or break a local church’s impact on the community. It all starts with relationships of honor, trust, consideration, and safety. Let our yes be yes and our no be no as faithful disciples who serve a great God.

Faith Milestones are those teaching workshops offering developmentally appropriate faith formation experiences for kids shared with someone they love and who loves them. Children’s Ministry offers multiple faith milestones each year specific to holy habits such as prayer for 1^st and 2^nd graders and their families.

Promotion: FB event (2 months out), bulletin (1 month out), posters (1 month), personal mail (3 weeks), fliers home from Sunday school (1 week), large group announcement (2 weeks), talk about it everywhere (3 weeks), email (2 weeks)

Set up a quiet room with two chairs at each station

• Photo station with Jesus
• Names of all registrants on a jumbo post-it note where I can see it (prompts me to use all kid’s names in attendance; know who’s not yet arrived)
• Start on time; end 5 minutes early
• Starter activity: kids pick up an empty bag; squishy Jesus; handout; ink pen

Schedule

5:45-6pm             Welcome; write-in the blank handout (big fills out the blanks while littles watch/listen and hold squishy Jesus); act out 2 prayer stations; surround room with pictures of kids praying artwork
6-6:15pm             Self-directed remaining stations
6:15-6:30pm       Review 4 steps of prayer (Greet God, Thank God, Ask God, Close in Jesus’ name); invite each child forward to receive their certificate (read one aloud so they know what the certificate says; students receive their certificate AFTER they tell me aloud their favorite station – as they speak aloud I tell them “I LOVE hearing your voice! God wants to hear your voice EVEN MORE!”; close in repeat-after-me prayer and group photo

Handout: How To Pray

Prayer is t_____________________ and l__________________________ to God. (talking; listening)
Prayer can be shared

1. In your m_________________ (mind)
2. Out l__________________ (loud)

For meaningful prayers, it is best to pray

1. By yourself and in a q___________ place. (quiet)
2. With someone you t__________ and love. (trust)

When we pray we speak to our Lord God, three in one:

God the Father Creator.

                Jesus, God’s only son, our Savior and friend.

                                The Holy Spirit, our helper and comforter.

G______ the Lord. (Greet) – who are talking to?

T______ the Lord. (Thank) – grateful for God the giver of all good things

A______ the Lord. (Ask) – after thanking God we can ask for help

Close in Jesus’ n_______. (name) – We do this because Jesus is our Savior, our mediator and go-between between death (physical and spiritual) and eternal life. We also close with saying AMEN because it means we accept or agree with what’s been said.

Pray for f___________ (forgiveness)

Pray in a g__________ (group)

God will answer prayers with a Y____, N_____, and a N______ Y_______. (Yes, No, Not Yet)

Prayer Stations (stations prepared from ‘What’s in my closet? What’s already in my hands?’)
Prepare signs for each station AND prepare a take home paper with same info/images to their take-home bags so they can implement clearly at home.
Journals – composition books; trace hands of those you love (as you pray, place your hand on the traced hand)
Glory celebration bells – celebrations of ‘glory!’ to praise the Lord (place in a room where everyone meets)
Berenstain Bears book on prayer to take home (read aloud book is super kid-friendly)
Prayer cubes leftover from last Easter (hardy, hand-held item with prayer language)
Fidget spinners – thankful prayers while it spins until it stops; waiting prayers for in line or waiting on appointments (encourages longer, unrushed times of listening and talking with God)
Mini scented playdoh (aka prayer-doh) – when hands are busy, minds are calm (God’s favorite smell = our prayers! Psalm 141:2)

What’s already on your shelf or in your supply closet? Make it simple, limited text, add an image of what you’re doing and kids can take it from there with someone they love sharing the teaching and practice.

“I call to you, Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense, may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” Psalm 141:1-2

Want to get something rolling? Sending out an email or posting an upcoming event in a newsletter will not get you the results you want. Necessary? Yes. Enough? Absolutely not!

First, roll it out 60-90 days in advance. Why? Families need the time to budget margin, head space, and money to make something happen. Love them well enough to give them a heads-up in lots of ways that something important is coming up and they won’t want their kids nor themselves to miss it. They may wait until the last minute to register, but partnering well means giving them lots of notice.

Second, promote the ‘something special’ as an invitation. Why? Families don’t want their children to miss out. FOMO is real for everybody. Snail mail the invitation, then use emails, bulletin announcements, posters, pre-service slides, and parent text messages as reminders. Prepare postcards for invitations because (1) the postage is cheaper, and (2) it will hang on the family bulletin board or refrigerator as a reminder alongside the team schedule (recreation; sport; scout) and school schedule. That postcard/flier will set as a visual reminder that something important is coming up.

Third, if you charge for an event, reward the early registrations with a cost that appears as a discount. Be a good steward and know your costs, but have a soft registration deadline at one rate and a hard registration deadline at a higher rate. Charging an additional $25 for a retreat fee will soften your edge for that late registration. Incentivize good registration habits.

Fourth, use every means possible to promote your event. I have a jumbo post-it note in my office to remind me of all the ways I can promote ‘something special.’ I don’t have to think about it or wake up at 3am wondering if I forgot to send in the pre-service slide. If you plan a year in advance, and we all should, we know what’s coming up. Prepare your marketing and promotion materials 60-90 days out and roll it out appropriately. Think creatively: Invite a youth to come to kid’s large group to be interviewed about when they participated in that ‘something special’ to give testimony to the other kids, let kids wear a sandwich board in the Narthex or on the front lawn, place fliers on the sanctuary clipboards, mail a hand-written personal invitation, mail a full-page flier, always say ‘bring a friend’, send a personal invite to someone a kid loves (grandparent, parent, teacher, neighbor, etc.) Put it in the bulletin. Everyone knows that if a new person comes on campus on Sunday they WILL read the bulletin, every single word. Think 7 hits to knock it out of the park. Once registration begins, send out an email to the early registrants to invite their teammates, schoolmates, and neighborhood friends. It is not intuitive to invite a friend for real until AFTER the parent has already registered their own child. A gentle reminder to ‘bring a friend’ is much more personal after the initial registration.

Fifth, tell the stories of why this upcoming ‘something special’ is special at every table and in every hallway. Use every table space to further the conversation with personal invites. Your social media space is another table where you sit with friends and family. Push it on your personal social media feeds. If you are on social media, sharing what you’re doing at your local church should be all over your feed. Your involvement at your local church is a major part of your life as a disciple. It’s not just your job, it’s part of your personal discipleship. 

Our jobs, our discipleship, our message of hope in Jesus depends on His disciples using every tool at their disposal to get the word out. Go tell. Let’s do this!

“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” Mark 16:15

Our local church offered a ministry fair for the congregation to learn more about the opportunities to serve within the local church. Each ministry and small group was invited to set up a table with visuals and be ready for conversation to invite the local Body of Christ to serve or at the very least, get more information about the ins and outs of serving within the various departments, small groups, and age-level ministries in addition to choir, technical teams, and hospitality. The congregation would make actual commitments the following week in worship.

A Ministry Fair may seem old school, but I’ve gotten the most traction for energy-filled ministry by going old-school in fresh ways especially over the last two years. As the lead for children’s ministry, we decided to post the many new opportunities to serve. New opportunities to help defy four myths of serving in family ministry in the local church.

Myth #1 – Serving in ministry with families is only on Sunday morning.
Most church folk steer clear of anything that will take them away from their Sunday school class or will alter their Sunday morning routines. What we know today is that fruitful, life-giving ministry will take place on other days of the week and much is done behind the scenes. Offering life-giving ministry to families outside of Sunday morning is going to be our bread and butter and fits the rhythms of today’s families.
Our response? Tuesday night kid’s Bible study team, summer Thursday night drive-in team, drive-thru live nativity team, Campfire Christmas team, bus drivers, bulletin boards (I have 4 located on campus), social media friend team, small group hosts.

Myth #2 – Serving in ministry with families is only for adults.
It requires some thought, but every single ministry in the church should have developmentally appropriate ways for children and youth to serve alongside adults. Children and youth can serve in meaningful ways. We offered a sign-up card which listed new areas for children and youth to begin serving and learning skills to help them share the love of Jesus at home, at school, and at church.
Our response? Family small groups, McEachern Kids monthly missions team, playdates K5-2nd, card writing, special projects (one-and-dones that come up), food (bake, cook, host), table cloth care, first-time guest hospitality, special needs friend team.

Myth #3 – The goal of the ministry fair is to toss the net for volunteers to fill spots.
The ministry fair is a great place to take a relationship with a fellow disciple to the next level. I want to invite someone on fire for the Lord to spend time with others on fire for the Lord. I pray the Lord will not let me nor my team be satisfied with mediocre discipleship. Energy draws energy and builds life-giving energy. I’m trusting the Holy Spirit is working in the minds and hearts of His people to do something for Him. Family ministry could be the answer to THEIR prayers.
Our response? Home improvement classes, family summer local mission trip, small group hosts, skills classes, sanctuary kid’s host for clipboard team, summer special events, spring special events, winter special events.

Myth #4 – Only the ministry lead should talk about the ministry.
The children’s ministry theme was “There’s a SPOT for you in McEachern Kids”. All of our team members wore polka-dot clothing on Ministry Fair Sunday. People knew (I mentioned it for two weeks prior in the children’s moments) that whoever the congregation saw wearing spots would be the best people to talk with about serving on the McEachern Kids team. The one gentleman on our team who did not wear polka-dots (he’s a general contractor so there’s not much beyond flannel and plaid in his closet) instead dedicated his entire morning (both services and in-between services) recruiting and chatting with two specific men and would not let them go until they returned a completed sign-up card to me.

How could a ministry fair help you minister to families and encourage the Body of Christ you serve to love littles and their bigs to Jesus in new ways and beyond Sunday mornings?

One of the best ways to reach the community we serve is to offer families what they can not do on their own or may be way more complicated to make happen on their own like…

CPR/Basic First Aid Training – Contact the local American Red Cross and get on their schedule for a Sunday afternoon or Saturday morning. Local scouts, parents, and local businesses need CPR and basic first aid training. Roll out the hospitality red carpet, get registration information to build your community database, and make your space bright, clean, and warm. Contact the local daycares and local businesses to let them know you will be offering it with a face-to-face invite.

A Last Gift of Love – Organize a basic informational meeting or four separate mini 45-minute- to 1-hour gatherings with an attorney about the laws on wills and powers-of-attorney; a financial planner about beneficiaries; a funeral director about what to do when a loved-one dies; local senior services; life, health, long-term-care insurance instruction. Promote this to young families by letter or postcard to help begin the conversations of taking care of their parents as well as their children. So many of my local church’s young parents are dealing with these issues right now and they don’t even know where to begin. When my mother-in-law passed away suddenly several years back, I was so grateful for prior general conversations with a congregant who was an estate attorney to help us know where to begin. I am forever grateful.

Driving Practice – Put out a dozen orange traffic cones and offer driving and parking practice or a space/time for families in the evening in your large parking lot. Offer water bottles and lawn chairs for chatting. Be sure to offer a prayer over the learner’s permit and the driver’s license when it’s earned. What a milestone to share with a local family! Promote with yard signs.

Playground playdates – offer a regular, intentional time for preschool children to come to play with their parents/grandparents when you can be there to let the kids play and make space for conversations about what every preschool parent deals with such as nighttime routines, picky eaters, pediatricians, where shoes are on sale, etc. Set the time for 1 hour – 1.5 hours and offer a prayer time to close out your time together. Over time, regular routines, growing trust relationships, enjoying some laughter. Not a drop off, but rather a drop in. If you have a preschool or daycare, you’ll have easy promotional avenues.

College/Job Application skills – enlist the help of a college professor who might be in your church for their partnership.

Home Improvement Classes – enlist the help of a general contractor in your church to teach basic home improvement skills for kids WITH their parents and grandparents for measuring, leveling, hanging drywall or spackling, painting, trimming bushes, community container gardening.

Each one of these can neighborly extend the love when you….

• Purchase honorarium gift cards for your instructors at local businesses and tell the business why you are purchasing the gift cards. Shop local and let the local business know you will be sending someone their way with the gift card. 
• Shop local. Find a mom & pop or local family business to support. These are the folks who are feeding their families directly from your business. Come from a place of generosity rather than ‘what can you give me?’

• Find out when the local community will be offering a farmer’s market (spring/summer) and holiday parade (summer/Christmas) and go through the paperwork to walk in the parade or offer a ‘station’ in the kid’s area. Find the community calendar online for your town and invest in a plastic A-frame sign or table cloth with your church or children’s ministry logo to set up then prepare to chat with folks about their lives wearing a church t-shirt. Use a local vendor for your t-shirts.
• Discover the ‘walking’ schedule of the local neighborhood nearest your church, then invite a couple of church members (Jesus never sent out His disciples one at a time, but rather two, three, and up to seventy) to join you for a walk. Load up a rolling cooler with iced down freezer pops, safety scissors to clip the tops, and a side trash bag to collect the empties. Stroll as you roll and start some conversations fully intending to make some new friends of your new neighbors as being a frequent walker in the neighborhood. You can’t walk every neighborhood, but you could certainly dedicate March & April to one and learn it deeply.  Pray for each home you walk pass and consider writing a blessing on the sidewalk (not their driveway UNLESS you know them, then by all means!).

Gentle Reminder: Registration will probably be last minute and may be small. Do it anyway to build trust with your neighbors that your yes will be yes and your no will be no. If you promote it, do it. Promote it at least 60-days out with the understanding that it may take families a while to budget their time to build in the margin to make the registration. 

We all need new friends. We all need a good walk. We all should be learning new things. We all learn better together.

What other ideas do you have to be a good neighbor?

Dr. Lawson Murray published a blogpost entitled, “Developing a New Plan for Children’s Ministry” last November addressing many of the hot topics in today’s local church regarding ministry with families. Children’s ministry people rarely get seats at the tables where decisions are made about these hot topics yet they will respond with excellence. So we set a table especially for those who serve in ministry with children and families with in-person and online seats to chat about several of the hot topics mentioned in Lawson’s blogpost.

With great thanks to our host Tambryn Freund at Dunwoody UMC, a ten-minute limit to each topic, and the great note-taking skills of Vic Harmon of Alpharetta First UMC, the following amazing insights from the kidmin champions who took a seat at the table will be guiding my planning in 2022. 

Hot Topic Table Notes:  Remember We Are BETTER TOGETHER!

Why should we develop a new plan for children’s ministry?

#1 Children’s Ministry is NOT a priority
• If the church leadership focus is on 40s, 50s, 60s-year-olds, that is the perfect demographic for Grandparents since the average age of a first-time grandparent is 47 years old. We can focus on providing ministry to Grandparents and their grandchildren.
• First time grandparents are seeing the value in spiritual development for their adult children and grandchildren.

#2 No Collaboration in faith formation
• Pre-pandemic some schools allowed a Bible Club before school
o Find a Christian teacher/PTO parent who is willing to head it up and find a way into the schools.
• Misconception of collaboration: programming for adults and programming for the kids doesn’t equal collaboration
• Get your local school calendar and find out about school events to piggyback or creatively support
o We need to know what’s in the rhythm of our community, so find out what the local school is doing, and pick a different lane.
o Example: If the schools are doing a “Santa Shop” then we don’t need to also do one.
• During events, take time to pause and create space for adults and their kids to chat. Model what faith-based conversations can be like, and show them it isn’t as scary, difficult, or time consuming as they thought.
• Make your presence known in the community
o Support teachers, families, etc.…

#3 Program Driven vs. Relationship Driven
• People say they want it to be the way it was, but do they really? Parents are exhausted with change, so even though we keep wanting to change things for the better, there has been some push back to just go back to the way it was.
• During the last couple of years, parents have put themselves on the backburner, so what if we do something to encourage lingering time and community building for parents.
o Like once a month offer coffee/hot chocolate outside the kid’s area, to invite parents to hang out for a little bit, while some of our volunteers work the room to connect with parents.

#4 Resources and Tools are not flexible!
• Sundays are no longer sacred, because extracurriculars and jobs are done all the time now.
• How can we meet families outside of Sunday Morning? And is it worth it?
o Focus on building community with adults
o Once a month, take parents to lunch, while the kids are in school and talk about everyday things, focus on building connections.  This also works for dinners if parents work during the day.
• Very short-term Bible studies (3 weeks)
o Keep it short, 1-1 ½ hours.
o Set the boundary that if you want time to chat come 30min early, because once it’s time to start we have to start.
o Example: 5 Love Languages of kids
§ Week #1: What are the 5 Love languages of Kids?
§ Week #2: How to know your child’s love language?
§ Week #3: How to keep it going at home?

#5 Parents are not taking a lead role in faith formation
• GIVE GRACE to parents because teaching faith formation was not modeled for them
• GIVE GRACE to yourself because how to equip parents for faith formation was not modeled for us
• Partner with the Associate Pastor or Adult Leaders and work together to model faith formation.
• Family Events! Share the responsibility of faith formation within family events with other areas of the church.
• Get Grandparents to share the lessons they learned in parenting to new or younger parents.
• Keep trying! If we model this now, we will see the fruit in this next generation.

#6 Intergenerational Ministries are limited
• When children participate in worship services all people know is children singing. We now have to reteach what it means to have children in service.
• Invite 50s, 60s, and 70-year-olds to volunteer while parents are with their kids
o Example: Advent Craft event, parents want to be/need to be with their children while doing crafts, so invite the 50s, 60s, 70s, to volunteer to lead the stations, so that parents can have that time learning alongside their child.
• Incentives for kids to take notes in worship
o Coins and treasure
o Blackout Bingo of words to listen for in the worship service

#7 Nursery (this topic has been the hottest since last fall as all churches are struggling to staff church nurseries)
• How do we get people to work? How much do we need to pay?
• Safe Sanctuaries doesn’t say they have to be paid, just trained
• The salaries most churches pay nursery workers is a social justice issue; we must respond with great generosity and it’s true value as a ministry, not just a support. 
• Partner paid staff with volunteers
o Paid staff does the diaper change, disciple, check in, feeding, etc. while the volunteer plays with and/or interacts the kids and parents/grandparents
• Short-term commitments
o Asking, “Can you serve 3 times in the next 3 months?”
• Appreciation as we would a volunteer with such valuables as gas gift cards to offer additional financial support if unable to increase per-hour pay
• Paid Compensation to specialized skills such as Nursery Hospitality 
o Not paid hourly, rather paid a stipend
o Show up 30min before and stay 30min after, plus 2 hours during the week to follow up with families and to check in and see how they are doing with monthly hospitality coaching.

Last Thoughts
• Go to Sunday School classes and ask them to sponsor Volunteer Appreciation, then follow up with Sunday School class about who it went to.
o Always give credit to who sponsors, tag them on social posts. Or if they don’t have social media, print the picture and give it to their Sunday School class
o Example: if a Sunday School class sponsored a lunch for your volunteers, have a sign that said, Lunch is Provided by _______Sunday School Class, and have attendees take a photo with it, and that’s what goes on social media.
• Find people in the church who have specialized skills like beautiful handwriting and invite them to participate in a way that fits their skills.
o Example: Give them a list of families with addresses in October that your ministry is sending Christmas cards to and ask them to hand-address each envelope. Then each family receives a handwritten card from your ministry at Christmas.

Children’s Ministry champions are the most creative and adaptable disciple-makers on the planet. They are active in the trenches with the families we serve as well as the families we seek to serve. They are knowledgeable and wise. The next table for hot topics will be set on the west side of the North Georgia Conference in February. I can’t wait!