It is the call on every Christian to be Jesus-disciple-makers. Parents and grandparents are on the frontline of Jesus-disciple-making, yet where do they start? How do they fit in one more thing among laundry, grocery-shopping, school, extracurricular, and dentist appointments? This is where we come in, the local church family ministry champions, to lock elbows, share prayer space, and resource families to bring Jesus into what they are already doing.

There wasn’t near as much out there to help Christian families navigate discipling their families in the 1990s. As a young mom I recall four books which, partnered with the Bible and my local church, helped me most along my way:
Tim Keller’s Little House on the Freeway: Help for the Hurried Home
Lisa Whelchel’s Creative Correction
Kevin Leman’s Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours
Mom, You’re Incredible (white book with teal MOM on the cover and have no idea who wrote it, but it was a game-changer!) Do you sense a theme?

Today there are so many options and not near enough time for parents to curate the best, the most practical to help them as they are in the trenches of everyday. Let’s face it, there is just too much information at the end of our fingertips to go deep into anything so they are overwhelmed and just too tired. Again, this is where we come in.

I just finished the best 163 pages I’ve read this year for equipping those devoted to discipling their own families. Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin of The Village Church offer in Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, & Milestones a practical framework of bringing Jesus into what most families are already doing in all seasons of a child’s life.

Published in August 2020, this resource provides today’s family leaders with the sigh of relief that not all family discipleship practices are enjoyed; some are endured. But, ‘our role is to plant seeds of truth, water them, and pray that God will give them life and growth as we trust in his goodness and mercy over all our shortcomings.’ (pg 21)

“You cannot be a Christian family if you are not a disciple-making family, because your family can’t truly follow Christ if you are not doing what Christ commanded – trying to become more and more like him and leading others to do the same.” (pg 30)

In the community of family, we learn best to prepare meals, serve one another, establish rules for living, protect ourselves from dangers, celebrate, and practice academic and social skills. We also learn to become more like Jesus in this community together through time (thinking about, talking about, and living out the good news of Jesus in holy habits), moments (leveraging those daily moments of life which are developmentally appropriate), and milestones (marking and making the remarkable moments of life wrapped in God’s presence and faithfulness to His people.) Each chapter offers the author’s experiences and time plans for those of us who like lists and boxes to fill in.

Time: Rather than thinking everything should be a Broadway production, lower your expectations and think about the positive, cumulative effect of holy habits over time such as Bible reading, devotional time, scripture memory, meals, prayer, worship, and service and how modeling that behavior in the adult’s life is the best teacher.
“A child disciple of Jesus Christ is a child who loves God, loves people, and imparts what God has revealed to them to others. You love what you know.” (pg 43)

Moments: Being attentive and alert to opportunities to talk about the attributes of God, foundational truths about who God is and who they are, and how God’s word is a treasure to explore and discover. As a teacher and family discipleship coach, my favorite pages were pages 122-130…so rich in practicality and narrowing down the spiritual building blocks for living as an exile in today’s culture.

Milestones: Acknowledging God’s work and faithful presence in the remarkable moments of life like births, death, losses, disappointments, driver’s licenses, graduations, starts and ends of school years, heirlooms, new homes, etc. It is in the milestones where there is a ‘tremendous opportunity to extend the discipleship process to your child’s extended family, friends, neighbors, and biblical community’ (pg 136). There are pages of examples at the end of this chapter to simply make events that are already happening spiritually memorable.

As leaders for ministry with families in the local church, we are neither event planners nor community center coordinators. We are family discipleship coaches! D6 Family Ministry shared in a December meme for the local church champions in ministry with children and families: “Good equippers do it like Jesus did it; recruit twelve, graduate eleven, and focus on three.” So glad I have a new calendar with all that white space.

“I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children walking in the truth, just as we were commanded by the Father.” 2 John 4

Listen to this blog on the In The Trenches Podcast with DeDe Reilly here.

Ephesians 4:11-12 calls the local church to ‘equip His people for works of service, SO THAT (emphasis mine) the body of Christ may be built up.’ Ministry leads do not manage volunteers; we equip the saints for good works of service. We have the privilege of inviting God’s people into His call on every believer’s life: to share the gospel and use their gifts and skills to share that gospel.

We are invited to provide an environment where people can practice their skills and gifts to share the gospel in their world. To do so, we build relationships of trust in the areas of…

Information
• God’s people should be able to trust the systems in place so they are each super successful. I ask myself, “Will my siblings in Christ have such a great experience with the systems in place, they will want to continue to grow in their service to God’s people”?
• They should be able to trust the resources and schedule will be provided in a timely manner for them to be successful.
• They should be able to trust the vocabulary used to communicate information will be consistent with the vocabulary of the local culture. The first thing Jesus did when he called his disciples was to teach them. 1 Timothy 4:6 reads, “Be trained in the words of the faith.” 

Connection
• Walt Disney said, “Everything we do tells a story.” I say that, “Everything our servant leaders do tells God’s story as part of their story.” Connections through relationship, not meetings, invite people to see God’s working in their lives.
• They should be able to trust in my leadership reputation: planner, honest, cheerleader, speak well of them, honor my family/spouse/children, even-tempered, joyful. Do they enjoy being around me, do I help them listen to their Holy Spirit and give them earned-freedoms in programming? Am I accessible/available/honorable/helpful/kind? Do I model a disciple of Jesus to the best of my ability? Am I a prayer warrior or an event planner?
• Co-lead a Bible study, be faithful to a small group of fellow disciples, growing in my own personal discipleship.

Inspiration
• Most ministry takes place not in programming, but in being present where the disciples are: worship services, other ministry special events, and asking, “Where can I help?” Oswald Chambers wrote, “A call is always preceded by a need.” Beth Moore wrote, “Until you know what you’re called to do, do what you are NEEDED to do.” (Entrusted). No, you can’t do everything, but you can do some things easily well, like be present where folks have access to you in Christian community.
• In Ministry Architects’ Sustainable Children’s Ministry leads do well in recruiting if they (1) pray, (2) start early, (3) identify matches (not just fill a hole set my me, but rather ask myself ‘what’s in my hands?’), (4) make a list, and (5) make contact. The best way to make contact is to be where people are (refer to the bullet point above).
• What if we tithed 10% of our time each week in growing our relationships with the people we are called to equip? We can do this by phone, ministry of presence, text, email, social media, etc. No ulterior motive, but by asking, “How can we share life so well as disciples of Jesus that we both are growing our faith together?”

Celebration
• Share in the remarkable moments of life, not just the spiritual milestones of what takes place inside the walls, but rather inside their hearts.
• There are five love languages, and four languages of appreciation in the workplace. When I taught weekday preschool I told the parents, “My first goal for the first week is to find out (1) What makes your child tick, and (2) What ticks them off.” Adults are like that, too. Be a student of your servant leaders, not just the manager.

The goal of leading a team of servant leaders is to equip God’s people for works of service. The whipped cream? To make their experience such a good experience that ‘surely goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives’ SO THAT WE ALL dwell in the house of the Lord … together … forever. Amen.

How can you provide a better experience in your environment to equip God’s people for works of service? 

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ, Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

Learning new things became part of my every day in 2020. You, too? Coming off an exciting 2019 with clear goals for 2020 kept me on my knees, off the couch, and exploring new tribes of communicators to keep telling the good news of Jesus to families in the most creative ways possible. Here are three big things of the hundreds of new things I learned in 2020:

Stay Learning
It’s exhausting to be in a constant state of learning, but it’s also invigorating and builds our joyful obedience muscles. With the time I worked from the home office, I took online classes, watched instructional YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, read books, joined and engaged with closed Facebook groups which would grow my toolbox to be a better communicator. Ministry with children and families is not event planning, it’s communicating. I quickly learned which organizations were putting out relevant content and which weren’t. There was no time to waste on lamenting, repackaging what used to work, and anything prefaced with ‘back before COVID…’ 
What will you learn before Easter?

Stay in Relationship
Joyful obedience and momentum was the goal. The most important relationships floated to the top and made for long phone calls several times a week, extended verbal processing of what I was learning with others, and oh the time to grow relationships through online Bible study in community with new friends and old. Several relationships grew deeper and more fruitful as other disciples began reaching out to explore doing stuff better and more creatively together. This was hard and took the most time, but the investment was worth it. I am better together with others and just knowing I wasn’t alone gave me courage, helped me think through the logistics of the most innovative season of ministry ever. In the words of one of my fellow-innovators, “I LOVE putting our McKids front and center to bring others to Jesus. Get some rest…we have LOTS to do in the new year.”
Who will you share the journey with in the new year?

Stay Brave
I found tribes with a Spirit of YES! Submitting to all of the authorities over me, I asked the questions which would get a YES and began to discover those who could mentor me to be my best-self-right-now so that I could confidently say, “I was created for such a time as this!” We have brothers and sisters who have and are risking their very lives to share the love and knowledge of Jesus in harsh and uncertain environments all around the world. These folks had faithful parents, grandparents, Sunday school teachers, and local churches, who realistically trained them that following Jesus would be hard, would be filled with challenges, and they’d face opposition at every turn. Yet they still said YES! Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not of the Lord. It is in the problem-solving when courage roars the loudest.
Who helps you be brave and how can you spend more time with him/her/them in the new year?

Bob Russell shared in his blogpost of December 27, 2020, of Cam Huxford, Minister of Compassion Christian in Savannah, Georgia. When asked to explain why the current situation actually energizes him, he said, “All my life, I’ve felt guilty when learning of Christian leaders in other parts of the world enduring hardship and suffering persecution.  I have been so pampered and spoiled.  Now it’s my turn.  Thankfully I don’t have to show up in heaven like a trust fund baby who served in the most comfortable country, in the most comfortable time in history.  I may actually have some wounds and scars when I stand before the Lord.  But the reward is not to the pampered but to those who have been faithful in battle.”

“There will always be big problems to solve, that’s what leaders do, and we must lead with hope and belief that they are solvable.” – Dan Reiland

Listen to this blogpost as a podcast at In the Trenches with DeDe Reilly.

There are seasons when the decision-making takes on such a rapid pace that it helps to write a few down for accountability and clarity. Here are a few decisions I made last week:

Lead a small group in 2021
The church needs more teachers today to share the journey of following Jesus. Not more content, but rather coaches who can engage in robust conversation over the scriptures. I’ve partnered with a younger mom to co-lead James Bryan Smith’s A Good and Beautiful God. We will learn and practice weekly soul training which will direct us to become more like Jesus, not just learn about Him. We start on Thursday, January 20 at 11:30am-1pm to specifically target our preschool families and will offer it on zoom on Wednesday nights for our non-preschool friends.

Hang up only what is important
One of my bucket list items for Mr. Bob to consider retirement to do something different was to have the inside of our home painted…even the closets. What a hot mess! But I love our new alabaster white walls. As I rummage through the piles of what came off of our walls and out of the closets, we’re not putting up everything we took down. A whole lot is going into the basement because we are in a different season of life. Without going all Marie Kondo, we are only putting up what brings us joy, is a major part of our story, and what we want our grandchildren to recall as visual memories of Mimi & Pop’s house as they grow older. 

Stay the course in healthy habits as I follow that yonder star
I lost almost 100 pounds during quarantine. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I made a decision last January to be ready for whatever God had in store for me next, but I desperately needed to get healthy in my body, heart, and in my head. A friend who got healthy several years ago and kept it off coached me through a program which would compliment my schedule, my calling, and my temperament with some quick wins and a community of like-minded pilgrims. I made my own sausage for that Thanksgiving dressing with sour dough bread rather than white bread. I’m able to take stairs without needing oxygen and feeling much better about my testimony.

Pursue leading a podcast
Following beaucoup promptings and affirmations from my tribe, I will put out a podcast in the new year. Edited to less than 20 minutes, I want to hear how YOU are loving kids and families to Jesus in your local church and in the ultimate small group = your family. A silver, sparkly composition book is filling with practical ideas, names of children’s ministry champions serving in the trenches of the local church as well as those serving their families as grandparents prioritizing the sharing of their faith with their grands, and needs. “For with God, nothing is impossible.” Luke 1:37a

What decisions will you be making as you prepare for moving forward in your next steps of discipleship and serving your local church?

“But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” 2 Timothy 4:5

With the various festivals and remembrances shared in the scriptures, we serve a God who delights in His people stopping their work, gathering together as families, and celebrating His presence and faithfulness. How delightful to find our great God giving us an evening treat on the first night of winter: A Christmas Star.

The planets of Saturn and Jupiter will be so close as to shine a bright light in the southwest sky which can be seen without a telescope. The light will be beautifully radiant on each clear night the entire fourth week of December! Anytime we can encourage our families to lift their eyes up to the Lord let’s join them with vocabulary and tools to be amazed at God’s creativity and wonder.

The following information and a generous supply of OREOS (dark/light) will make this a wonderful opportunity for families to engage in some fun at home with some shared conversation about our GREAT GOD and His son, JESUS, the light of the world who shines in the darkness. 

For people in the Northern Hemisphere (in the United States of America), winter is a season of cold, dark days. The WINTER SOLSTICE is the shortest day of the year and marks the exact day when our half of the Earth is tilted the farthest away from the sun.

Our GREAT GOD, who created the sun and placed it in the sky at the beginning of time, planned for this day to be the day of the year with the shortest daytime (light) and the longest nighttime (darkness). Every daylight after the WINTER SOLSTICE will be a little longer, until we reach the day with the most hours of daylight in the summer.

On Monday, December 21, 2020, the WINTER SOLSTICE marks the first day of winter. This day will have the shortest daytime (lightness) and the longest nighttime (darkness). Our GREAT GOD is also giving us a CHRISTMAS STAR to see!

The planets Jupiter and Saturn will align so closely in the night sky that they’ll almost appear to collide creating a radiant point of light often referred to as the CHRISTMAS STAR. The last time these planets came this close to deliver such a radiant light was 794 years ago!

On the WINTER SOLSTICE, look for the CHRISTMAS STAR about 45 minutes after sunset in the southwest sky. The planets will be at their closest on WINTER SOLSTICE of 2020 and will be visible from anywhere on Earth for about one hour after sunset for the entire fourth week of December! If you’re viewing with a telescope, you may also be able to see Jupiter and Saturn’s largest moons orbiting them that week.

Our GREAT GOD is amazing!

With the LIGHT & DARK of the WINTER SOLSTICE, here are some family fun ideas to celebrate OUR GREAT GOD and his gift of light in the darkness: His son JESUS!

Cookie Stacking – Who can get the highest stack in one minute?

Cookie on a Fork Relay – Put a cookie on a fork and race to the finish line; run around the kitchen twice; walk up and down the staircase without the cookie falling off. No touching the cookie with your hands unless you are frozen and resetting.

Cookie Face – Move a cookie from your forehead to your mouth with only your facial muscles. No touching with your hands!

Cookie Center Gone – Who is the fastest person to lick the crème center out of the cookie? No teeth, 100% licking only!

“When JESUS spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the LIGHT of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the LIGHT of life.” John 8:12

Each year children’s pastors present the Christmas stories in fresh, exciting ways. Seeking to learn something new each year, we’re about to bust with excitement to share when the season comes. Deanna Cotton published The Christmas Story: Experience the Birth of Jesus Through Scripture Writing through iWrite Bible. Hot off the presses, a dear friend, my daughter, and I are taking this advent journey together. We read a passage, scribe the scripture, recite and memorize a favorite verse of the daily reading, respond in written prayer, write what the passage tells us about God’s character, followed by any questions or thoughts we have. It’s made for some wonderful conversations about these familiar people.

To scribe the scriptures, we’ve got to linger. So I listen to Christmas music low in the background and set to study each day. Starting the Christmas story in November teaching children’s Sunday school we’ve made some great discoveries about the scriptural depictions of the many, familiar people God used to bring Jesus from heaven to earth.

Zechariah – God met him at work, carrying on the ordinary tasks of an ordinary day in an extraordinary way. Keep doing the work. God is there.

Elizabeth – She’s loud! Everyone has that loud relative. “Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly.” I’m praying for my clergy couple friends and all the couples who are in ministry together. Those in the mission field together. Together they are mighty. Together they face challenges. Even in the place of personal disappointment (“But they had no children…”), they remained upright in the sight of God….and what a legacy!

Gabriel – His name means “God is good.” The news he brings is good. We find him in the Old Testament with Daniel and in the New Testament with Zechariah in the temple, and with Mary. Y’all! The news is good! Not news from the TV, phone, or paper. Good news: Do not be afraid, God is with us.

Mary – She is the eyewitness and the keeper of the treasured stories pondered in her heart. For us to know what happened at John’s naming, she would have been one of the only eyewitnesses for Dr. Luke to ‘carefully investigate”, so I’m thinking she stayed beyond the birthing. Would this have helped her when she delivered her own baby in a stable? One of my favorite Christmas songs is Mark Lowry’s Mary Did You Know. What did Mary know? Yeah, Gabriel told her she’d have a baby who would save the world, but what else? According to the Magnificat, she knew that God was mindful of her, interested, mighty, holy, and merciful, scattered the proud, lifted up the humble, and filled the hungry with good things. How did she know these things? I’m thinking her Mama and Daddy told her, talked to her, showed her, and reminded her that our Great God is all these things and more. Mamas and Daddies who love the Lord teach their children to love the Lord. They share their stories of God’s faithfulness, might, presence, provision, and love. Oh how I love and pray for my Mamas and Daddies to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength so their children know what a person sold out for Jesus looks like, sounds like, lives like. Tell the stories!

This week we study Joseph. Joseph was a good man. Mary’s recollection has him saying nothing in the scriptures, but makes sure we know that her man did what God told him to do to protect all that’s beautiful and to see his work through immediately, completely, and sweetly.

Nathan Clarkson wrote a poem in the middle of his book Good Man. 

What is a good man? I really want to know.
I’ve been searching and searching and got nothing to show.
What were we made for? Why are we here?
It’s got to be more than just how we appear.
Even if it is, we’re not doing that great.

Men today have become angry and given in to their hate.
We’ve become selfish and we take what we please.
“Don’t think of the consequences. That’s for the weak.”
We curse the wind and feed our pride,
completely ignoring the cancer inside.

We don’t need any help and won’t confess our sins.
“Real men don’t cry or let anyone in.”
Then some of us are just lost, looking for home.
But our dark is too thick, and we walk all alone.

But I need to believe that there’s got to be more.
‘Cause if God created us, there’s something He created us for.
Maybe we were made to be whole, honest, and true.
To protect all that’s beautiful and to see our work through.

To love with abandon and own our own scars.
To see real redemption take place in our hearts.
To laugh at the future and embrace all we can.
To know our Savior: Maybe that’s a good man.

So what is a good man?
Maybe it’s this:
One who lets his Creator tell him who he is.

Twenty-one good men I know will be getting this book for Christmas.

“Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses, and servant of the word.” Luke 1:1-2

This we know: everyone decorates for the Christmas holidays with their own family treasures. Even my friend who only tapes a Little Debbie Christmas Tree to her kitchen counter hangs something up to celebrate. Why not add a sacred and fun way to celebrate the hanging of the greens at home for littles and their bigs? Using a Canva template, we prepared a paper guide for Hanging Of The Greens At Home. Along with an Advent pop-up calendar, our families are ready to celebrate! 

Hanging of the Greens is the time we decorate our homes for the season of Advent and Christmas. As you prepare your home spaces for the coming of the holidays, let us prepare our hearts and minds to remember Jesus is the reason for the season.

Christmas tree
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we set up this tree the Holy Spirit reminds us to keep growing in our knowledge of Jesus who came as a baby to save the world.
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Wreath
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we hang this wreath the Holy Spirit reminds us that God’s love is ’round about His people.
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Candle
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we light this candle the Holy Spirit reminds us that Jesus is the light of the world.
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Nativity set
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we see this nativity the Holy Spirit reminds us that God chose ordinary people to do extraordinary things to tell people about Jesus.
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Special decoration
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we set up this special Christmas decoration the Holy Spirit reminds us to tell our special family stories of how Jesus has loved us. (Share the story of why this decoration is so special).
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Special snack or beverage
Say: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!
Read aloud: When we come to the table to eat and drink the Holy Spirit reminds us to taste and see that the Lord is good.
All: Come, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Everyone sings: Joy to the World, the Lord has come.
Let earth receive her king.
Let every heart prepare Him room.
Let heaven and nature sing, let heaven and nature sing,
Let heaven and heaven and nature sing.

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:6-7