This post was originally published November of 2014. Since the pandemic it has been viewed more than 15 times each day. I began serving a new church family in 2017 and prayerfully waited for the opportunity to implement practices which would engage children in the worship service and set aside Children’s Church here, too. When we opened for in-person worship the summer of 2020, we got our chance. The children do receive age-specific, developmentally appropriate Christian education during the Sunday school hour, which doesn’t look like your typical Sunday school. The fruitfulness has affirmed our decision to say, “No more children’s church for us.”
Since last summer, our staff team has been on the mission of improving the worship experience for our medium-sized church in the Atlanta suburbs. We’ve attended seminars, trainings, workshops, and even a week-long retreat with The Worship Design Studio team. We have been intentional to institute many details making the experience more personal, more inviting, relative to all learning and worship styles, giving multiple opportunities for congregational involvement throughout.
What has this got to do with little people? Everything.
It has always been our desire to connect as a family of faith…a family where our kids and their parents and grands pray, sing, praise, give, share and greet together. Before this month, we dismissed the kids to a separate Children’s Church time immediately following the children’s moment and before the pastor’s “big sermon” which took place toward the end of the order of worship. On Communion Sunday, we ushered the children back to their parents so to participate as a family.
When we changed the placement of the “big sermon” to be early mid-service, the giving, greeting, and praying were now at the end of the service in response to the Word proclaimed. Our kids were going to miss some powerful times as a family of faith if we continued Children’s Church. Oh I could do those things in Children’s Church, but not like it’s done with our whole family of faith.
I spoke with our pastor, a couple of ‘big names’ in KidMin, and some of our Children’s Church families sharing what we were doing and they were game for us to stay and continue to worship together. Families sitting side by side, arms around shoulders, standing in unison in call and response, enjoying time and space together.
We had already offered some interactive pew tools for our kids and now I could kick it up a notch, such as…
Sermon Bingo…our pastor puts out the sermon schedule, scripture, and title for the entire year in advance. This helps me when I prepare the weekly Children’s Moment, so I set up a bingo card with words and phrases that are likely to be sung, spoken, or shared for the several week-long worship series. The kids then mark or color the spaces when they hear the vocabulary. These are placed on clipboards in the narthex. The kids are invited to place their completed cards in my mailbox outside the worship space.
Etch-a-Sketches…for our littlest disciples.
Clipboards with blank paper…I invite the kids to take notes, draw pictures, write a note or draw a picture of encouragement to give to someone who sits in their row or one of the pastors.
A Challenge…when the sermon was titled “Salt and Light,” I challenged the kids in Sunday School to pick up a clipboard outside my office and tally the times they heard the words “salt” and “light” and tell me after the service which word was said most often. I have a few tally sheets on the bulletin board behind my desk…”light” won out.
Pockets monthly magazines on clipboards…I attach a note about a few upcoming kid’s events like Fantastic Friday/Parents Night Out or the Jingle Bell Shoppe. Even our middle schoolers enjoy these.
Cloth 3 ring binder zipper pouches from Dollar Tree (they are quiet)…with crayons, or colored pencils, or a handful of legos (for the pre readers).
And yes, all of them are out each week in a nice, shallow rubbermaid container set just outside our worship space. Colored ribbons make for a colorful display. I look forward to seeing what else we can come up with.
Attending the bi-annual CEF Conference (Christian’s Engaged in Faith Formation formerly known as Christian Educator’s Fellowship) last month in Nashville, ‘kids in worship’ was the topic of almost every conversation. Facebook has had multiple conversations and some very heated. We have a Children’s Ministry networking luncheon coming up this week and it’ll be the topic, as well. I’ll blog afterwards with what we came up with.
We are no longer offering Children’s Church. We want to live and worship as a family of faith. Our staff supports it, our parents support it, and our kids are thriving making connections with folks of all ages and stages. Like family, some things are taught and some things are caught. We want opportunities for both.
We offer a nursery for ages 0-4 years old. This gives our parents a choice for our smallest disciples of staying in the service or be loved on in the nursery. Our Mamas seem to like having the option.
There appears to be a great deal of research out there now that kids who worship with their families and connect inter-generationally in a family of faith are more likely to remain active in the local church as they get older.
This is the research my own family has lived: We worshipped together in the early traditional service and served together and separately throughout Baby Girl’s and #1 Son’s preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school years at our home churches…in Baton Rouge, in New England, and in Woodstock. They were invited to serve and lead on Sunday mornings and at other times as they grew in their faith and faithfulness. They enjoyed a regular diet of adult investment into their lives. When #1 Son didn’t want to go, the conversation went something like this, “Church and worship is what we do as Reillys. It’s who we are. God gets an ‘awards’ day once a week for all He has done for us and we go. This is not a choice you get to make. It’s right up there with you don’t get a choice to not brush your teeth or not take algebra. It’s what we do. When you get old enough to earn a degree, move out, and pay all of your own bills, then you can make a decision about church. Until then, we leave in 10 minutes.” If we were too busy or too tired for church life, we were too busy and something had to go. It was never church. The priority of worshipping together and serving in the local church was guarded and made for lots of conversations of who we were as Christians as they grew up. A life lesson of filtering what is good for what is best. Oh, and did I mention that I was not on church staff until they were in late high school?
This is what I know: Baby Girl and #1 Son remain active in their spiritual disciplines and in their separate and distinct local churches now as young adults, along with their young spouses and little people.
“What’s good for kids in church is good for everybody.” Mark Burrows, Children’s Pastor at First United Methodist Church of Ft. Worth
This is GREAT, DeDe! So glad to hear it. My son, Sam, recently published a book ONE BODY that says the same thing about children growing up worshiping with family – as well as other opportunities to be in IG situations. He uses the “Sticky Faith” thoughts about creating silos in the church where we’re constantly divided by age groups.
Thanks, Delia. Dr Richard Hunter wrote a blog back in April that Sugar Hill was going to encourage families to worship together intentionally in August. They still offer Children’s Church, but moving toward worshipping as a family of faith. We also had a lively networking group yesterday that was real, authentic, true, and engaging. Lots happening on the front for kids….thrilled to be a part of it!
So glad to hear this! Blessings in your family worshipping together effort!
We have been doing this since August of 2014. We offer a children’s moment where the kids come down and we send them back to sit with parent with tote bags that’s filled with crayons, children’s bulletin by age and snacks. But I love the idea of having a search that kids can tie to sermon! It has been a great experience and the kids have done wonderful!
Great to hear, Patricia!
Don’t forget the possibility of a Young Reader’s Bulletin where the same format as the adult bulletin is used but definitions of what’s happening and space and suggestions on things for them to draw or write at that time. For a sample see pages 41-42 in my book, NUTS & BOLTS OF CHRISTIAN EDUCATION.
Absolutely! Been doing those for years…especially great on those Sundays when we expect more guests than usual. Thanks for the reminder!
I would love to connect and discuss this topic. I am new to Children’s Ministry and ABSOLUTELY LOVE this!
Would love to! My email is dedereilly@comcast.net. Joy & Peace ~ DeDe
Would love to “discuss” this with you and DeDe if it’s done on the computer. In the middle of my 80’s I try to shelter at home as much as possible. I have worked to get churches to worship together as a family since the early 1980’s, and I’m even more convinced of the need now.
Gathering for worship and daily discipleship is an ‘over time’ endeavor. This is indeed where we are today and will continue to be for at least the next two years. I’m good with that.God will indeed bless it and the remnant will flourish. Reach out by my email and we’ll plan to “discuss”. – dedereilly@comcast.net
macklandspeech@gmail.com
Just found your blog. Thank you for sharing. We are just in a rebuilding stage and these ideas will work so well for what we are wanting to do.
Thanks again.
Glad to hear this is helpful. What we’ve learned since then includes more sense-filled elements, more music with repetition, more ‘repeat after me’, and if their hands are busy, their minds are calm and receptive. You’ve got this! Thanks for reading the blog and for loving your families to Jesus.
It’s surprising that this was written 6 years ago. It is so appropriate as we maneuver this pandemic. Our Church is deciding how t move forward. Do we return to having Sunday school, nursery, children’s church?
ThanK you for sharing.
Hey Edith! I know, right?! What we’ve learned since then is to have music with repeating choruses so the words are sticky and kids will participate. We’ve learned that if kid’s hands are busy, their minds are calm. We’ve learned that there must be movement. We’ve learned that the message in the middle of the service serves timing better for families. We’ve learned that kids want to be with their folks. We’ve really learned that what’s good for kids is good for everybody. Yeah….written 6 years ago. Wow! Prayers with you and your church to be all it can be with your littles and their bigs. Thanks for reaching out! ~ DeDe
This is very interesting! I am fairly new to Children’s Ministry in a church setting. I am a retired teacher of 27 years, so I have spent most of my adult life with children, just to at church. We do have a Children’s worship service called One Way. I am still on the fence about how I feel about keeping the kids in the worship for the whole time, but I do understand the value of it. I also feel there is value in the kids getting a lesson that is geared toward their specific age group and they can get up and move about and sing and dance to their hearts content. When we were just doing a virtual service, we did a special kids’ moment including our theme song which includes some singing and choreography to the words of the song. When we came back to a live worship as well as virtual, we continued our theme song and many of our folks were very uncomfortable and vocal about it. (I am at a Church of Christ and while we are the most liberal Church of Christ in my town, we are still a fairly conservative group). All that to say, I video a kids’ moment that is played in our service right before the kids’ leave for the 25 – 30 minutes that the teens and adults listen to our senior minister bring a lesson. The kids’ then are split by age groups to the Children’s Worship time. I am going to print off your article and ponder on many of the thoughts your shared. Lots to think about and mull over! Blessing this Advent season!
Elizabeth O’Briant
Dearest Elizabeth…. When I wrote this blogpost in 2014, we had no idea the world would be where it is today, but I still stand by our goal of connecting God’s people of all ages and stages to the practices of faith that bind us together as a community and family of faith. I commend you for using your skills and knowledge of how children learn and live. I also fully understand the tension of combining a church’s tradition with the knowledge of how children experience the world. I still stand with ‘if it’s good for kids, it’s good for everybody…but not everybody knows it.’ If ever there was a time to walk into the tension, it is now. I pray for your courage, steadfastness, and spirit of collaboration to find the place of editing those experiences to excellence. It was helpful to me to live into the tension as an opportunity for lots of conversations, lots of sharing of content of how little people work, and looking at ‘experiences over time’ rather than each Sunday as a ‘one and done.’ Find your goal. Be consistent in your message of the ‘why’ and ‘who for’ and know that lots of conversation, with joy and thanksgiving, make tension into beautiful music. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not of the Lord. Expressions of your love and joy and thanksgiving can go a long way in sharing a consistent message that we are a family of faith and the more experiences/sticky memories we can offer families, shared together, over time, can make a world of difference in making sure kids know that ‘anything you do that tells Jesus I LOVE YOU is worship.’ I pray for you to find favor in the eyes and hearts of your congregation. Have some one-on-one conversations with your greatest champions/advocates and equip them, as they equip you, with the vocabulary of collaborative leadership and a Spirit of YES. Joy & Peace dear one. Please keep me posted of how God continues to lead you and your church family into your new normal. My email is dedereilly@comcast.net. ~ DeDe