Mrs. Jennifer Clark is our guest blogger today. Jen serves as the Children’s Ministry Director at Mountainview United Methodist Church located in Marietta, Georgia. 

While recently attending the Children’s Pastor’s Conference, I kept hearing this statistic: “The average time for a Director of KidMin to stay in the job is 18 months.” Yikes. That’s not very long. You can’t even get the supply closet organized in 18 months.

But it’s also not surprising, is it? I mean, it only takes about a week on the job to discover how hard it can be. The kid part tends to be the fun, rewarding part, but the behind-the-scenes stuff – wrangling volunteers, maintaining rosters, bargaining for facility space – those are things that can break you in a hurry.

I’m at the beginning of my 25th month on the job. And to be honest, I’ve thought about quitting at least a hundred times. Flooded classrooms, double-booked Fellowship Halls, keys that didn’t work, adults arguing… My husband will testify to the tearful conversations that typically end with me saying, “This is so HARD. I want to quit.”

So what’s keeping me from quitting? Some days, it’s just sheer laziness – it would take too long to write a resignation letter. But more often, my merciful Father reminds me of the tools that He gave me along with this amazing, challenging call. And the good news – He’s given you these tools too.

A Direct Help Line
There is no more powerful tool than calling out to God directly during an hour or season of discouragement. Jesus says to come to Him when we are worn out and overwhelmed, and He will help. (Matthew 11:28)

Encouraging Words
These are a few of the verses I treasure in my heart and pull out during the dark hours of discouragement:
2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This verse reminds me that I don’t have to have it all together, and the best thing is to stand down so Jesus can stand in.

Psalm 30:5 Weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Don’t things always seem a little better after some sleep and that first cup of coffee (or tea)? Sometimes, literally, God says, “Go to bed”.

John 16:33 “In this world you will have trouble.” I know on the surface scripture about life’s difficulties may not seem encouraging, but isn’t there some comfort in knowing that this isn’t supposed to be easy? When things get hard, perhaps that means we’re on the right track!

A Community of Support
God doesn’t expect us to do this by ourselves. He provides people to encourage us, whether it be through a mentor’s wise counsel, a volunteer’s enthusiasm or a child’s hug. We all have access to an extraordinary collection of KidMin champions through the North Georgia United Methodist Church’s Children’s Ministry Network, whose collective experiences and wisdom are available for the asking.

A Clear Goal
God has called us into Children’s Ministry to make Jesus-disciples. Staying focused on our purpose acts like a filter, allowing us to tune in to the clear frequency of God’s call, and tune out the static of distractions that lead to discouragement and a longing to give up.

Sometimes, in seasons of discouragement, I am lulled into the deceptive thinking that quitting will make things better. But then the Lord provides – a verse of encouragement, a nudge to call on His name, a hug from a child. And that’s sufficient to sustain me for the day.

I’d love to know – what tools sustain you through seasons of discouragement?

If you’d like to connect with Jen Clark, contact her at jenniferleeclark@gmail.com.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Extending radical hospitality to first time guests should constantly be on our minds and ready for an upgrade. We’ve addressed signage and location to the best of our abilities, but what else?

Checking out images of a fellow blogger who visited and posted images at a mega-church, I stopped over a simple image he’d posted specifically for first time guests. A round table, set a bit higher than most tables, with a simple sign, ink pens, and a general form. Something so simple, yet so intentional.

I asked our facilities manager if he had a similar table tucked away in storage and he did. The taller round table meant that a dear Mom or Dad wouldn’t be bent over filling out forms (not attractive and very uncomfortable) and made it easier to keep an eye on their littles. The sign was printed with our logo with clear instructions for parents. Multiple ink pens were set in a plastic cup with stones to keep it upright. We set it all in the middle of the entrance used specifically for little people so it couldn’t be missed. Didn’t even need to man it since our greeters could easily see it and it’s purpose.

We set it up three weeks ago.

Week 1: Our greeters (we set up the table and gave no announcement or instruction) directed a Mama of 3 to the table where she easily completed paperwork and the kids had space to move around, yet didn’t stray far. Mama brought the younger two to the nursery and the older one to me with paperwork in-hand with time to spare for quick welcoming conversations and me being fully present to speak to her son as we explained what would be happening that morning. I paired her son with a welcoming buddy of his same age to show him the ropes. We didn’t have to hand her forms, ask her to step aside and fill it out in both the children’s area and the nursery, then try to come back to us when a whole host of people would be talking to us. Smooth, personal, clear and we were all fully present with time to spare for conversation and connection.

Week 2: A grandfather who is a member brought his grandson for the first time. Granddad went straight to the table to fill out paperwork and brought it to me as I was able to welcome the grandson by name. We introduced him to a great welcome buddy in the Children’s Ministry Welcome Center which was a student in his grade level and the transition into the morning was smooth and very welcoming.

Week 3: I watched as an older couple with no children went to the First Time? table and retrieved two forms. When I stepped up to greet them, they told me they wanted to welcome their new neighbors with two kids with the forms AND a monthly flier of what’s happening. These folks would not have come to me directly because it may look like I’m too busy, yet the table made it easier for them to pickup forms/documents for First Time guests as part of their welcome to their new neighbors.

I pass the paperwork on to to their Sunday school teacher. The Sunday school teacher returns it to me after class so that I can input their information into the database AND followup with a couple of postcards: Welcome postcard and any upcoming event postcard, as well as an email on the second week. It’s been up for only three weeks!

What are other ways to be intentional to welcome guests into your ministry with children?

“And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” Matthew 18:5

Jesus is our model for worship, study, play, and prayer.  Prayer is one of those sacred practices which can be caught, but when we offer an intentional teaching time, students grow to have more confidence.  When practiced with their families, it’s a shared sacred memory.   This is the motivation behind the Faith Milestone: I Can Pray offered to our families with 1^st and 2^nd grade students. The event was scheduled for a Wednesday evening 5:45pm-6:30pm.

After students decorate a solid colored gift bag to hold all their take home goodies and printed instructions, we share that “Prayer is talking AND listening to God (Father and Creator), Jesus (God’s son, our best friend, and Savior), and the Holy Spirit (Comforter, reminding us as believers/followers what will please the Lord.)” Students are required to stay with and participate fully with their parents/caregivers. Students and families are then led to these stations spread throughout a large room.

Supplies:

• Berenstain Bears Say Their Prayers
• Bottles of Bubbles
• Snack packages of plain M&Ms
• Call bell
• Silly Putty
• Fidget Spinner/Spinning Top
• Composition books

These are the various stations with directions:

Find The Page – Choose a book. Find the page where the little bears are praying before bedtime and read aloud. Take one for your family prayer bag.

Spinner Prayers for Who’s At The Top – Each Day, pray for…
Monday – Teachers and Coaches (by name)
Tuesday – Local Government of Mayor and City Council (by name)
Wednesday – Pastor and Spiritual Teachers (by name)
Thursday – National Government of President, Congress, and Supreme Court (by name)
Friday – Law Enforcement & Firefighters (by name)

Teacher, Coach, and Spiritual Teacher names are easy, but finding out the name of your town’s mayor and a city council member may require you asking your parents. Ask your parents to also help you find out the name of your US Congressperson and find the name of someone who serves in law enforcement and a firefighter so you can pray for ‘by name’, too.  Names are so important and it will make your prayers specific and more personal.

For each leader, spin the spinner and talk to God about ‘Who’s At The Top’ until the spinner stops. If your top is still spinning when you finish the prayer below, you must be a master spinner! So keep praying until it stops!

Example: (Insert names)
Dear Lord, I pray for _________________ and _______________ to lead a life that is worthy of You Lord.
I pray that __________________ and __________________ will please You in every way, God.
I pray that __________________ and __________________ will want to grow to know You better, God.
I pray that __________________ and __________________ will be strong and patient, God.
I pray that __________________ and __________________ will never give up and be joyful, God.
(based on Colossians 1:10-11)

Silly Putty Prayers (W.I.T.H. Prayer)

• Take out your silly putty and stretch, mold, pull, tug on it as you sit quietly and ponder the following:
• Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.
• Think of something that makes you say “WOW!” (pause)
• Take a deep breath…when you slowly and quietly exhale, whisper, “Wow, God!”
• Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.
• Think of something that you’ve said, done, or thought that would not please God….something you’d want to say, “I’m sorry” about.  (pause)
• Take a deep breath…when you slowly and quietly exhale, whisper, “I’m sorry, God.”
• Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.
• Keep pulling on your silly putty.
• Think of something you want to thank God for.  Several somethings. (pause)
• Take a deep breath…when you slowly and quietly exhale, whisper, “Thank you, God.”
• Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.
• Think of someone you know who needs help…maybe they are sad, maybe they are sick, maybe they are poor, maybe they are hurting. (pause)
• Take a deep breath…when you slowly and quietly exhale, whisper, “Help them, God.”
• Then close to tell God whatever you want.  He loves to hear from you! Amen.
• Thankful to Mark Burrows for sharing this experience at National Christian Educators Fellowship Conference in Nashville several years ago.

Bubble Prayers

Blow a bubble.  As it floats to the floor, pray a help prayer.

“Lord, please help _____________________ because ______________________. Amen.”

Journal Prayers

1. Choose a journal.
2. Open to the first page.
3. Trace the hands of everyone in the family on individual pages and write their name on the page.
4. Put your hand in each family member’s traced hand and talk to God about that family member.
5. Then turn to a fresh page each day with a date to invite family members to write prayer requests. As you pray for that prayer request, place your hand on the family member’s traced hand.

A Wiggle Prayer

O God, who made my fingers (wiggle fingers)

O God, who made my toes, (wiggle toes)

O God, who made my eyebrows, (wiggle eyebrows)

O God, who made my nose, (wiggle nose)

You made my heart for laughter, (put hand to heart)

You made my voice for song, (make a “singing” pose)

You made my soul to dance, (dance in place)

And praise you all lifelong. (raise both hands in the air)

Amen

“Glory” Celebration Prayers –  Open a call bell.  Every time you think of a time to say, “Thank you, Lord!”, ring the bell and say, “Glory!” Place the bell somewhere in your home when anyone in the family wishes to express a thanks to the Lord, they ring the bell and shout, “Glory!”

M&M Prayers – Find a quiet spot, take a deep breath, and open your bag of M&Ms. As you put an M&M in your mouth, close your eyes and take time to feel and taste as the candy melts in your mouth. As the candy melts, turn your thoughts to God, and use the color code below to focus your prayers:

Red candy: Think about the greatness of God. Think about the great things God has made.

Take a deep breath, hold it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper “God, You are great.”

Orange candy: Thank God for the blessings you have received and the goodness in your life. Take a deep breath, hold it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper, “God, You are good.”

Yellow candy: Pray for those who are in need of basic human needs; food, shelter, water, peace.

Take a deep breath, hold it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper, “Thank you, God.”

Brown candy: Pray for those close to you or far away in need of God’s guiding spirit, that they will feel God’s abundant love in their life.

Take a deep breath, holding it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper, “Help them, God.”

Blue candy: Confess to God (agree with God) that you are sometimes weak and fail to follow God as you should. Ask God to help you stay strong.

Take a deep breath, holding it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper, “Forgive me, God.”

Green candy: Sit in silence as you ask God to hear your prayers, those spoken and those that are unsaid in your heart.

Take a deep breath, holding it counting to 5, then breathe out slowly and whisper, “Praise you, God, for hearing my prayers.”

Upon completion, we debrief by asking:

What was your favorite station?

What do you think you could do to pray tonight before you go to bed?

What do you think you could do in the morning when you wake up to help you pray?

What is prayer? “When we _____ & ______ to the Lord.”

Prayer is ‘caught’ AND ‘taught’. What other ways can we intentionally teach children and families to pray together?

“One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.” Luke 11:1

Each spring thoughts of fall ministry with Sunday school, weekly programming, special events and the Children’s Ministry Dream Team God has planned to gather begins to take up great space in my head, my heart, and my prayers. Inviting others to join a team of Jesus’ disciples to disciple little people (and themselves in the process) thrills this Jesus gal to the bone. I fully understand how difficult it is to ask folks to make a commitment for the fall a full six months ahead of time, but it’s that intentionality that has saved me from taking on more than I should when I had little people and a family to take care of. It helped us keep our family priorities.

We had a Reilly family tradition which called everyone (kids and adults) to decide by Memorial Day what we’d commit to for the next school year as a family. Negotiations took place to be sure we were best able to balance our calendars, our finances, and our heads. This resulted in a gift of reminding everyone in the family of our mutual commitment to our discipleship and relationship with Jesus and the local church as our priority. This was far from a formal meeting and more like multiple  mini-conversations in the car, around the dinner table, and while doing laundry. There was plenty of time for PTA, marching band, drama plays, school, soccer, and vacation time, but only as it worked around our priority of discipleship. Wouldn’t I want to provide the same healthy habit for the families I serve in the local church?

This last Sunday, we attached a ‘Intention Postcard’ to the copies of Sunday school lessons. I’ll begin passing them out as other regular programming takes place in the next two weeks, as well.

Thank you for serving on the McEachern Kids Dream Team this school year with your presence, your preparation, your faithfulness, your smile, your joy and so much more. It is with great appreciation that we wish for you to take a jubilee…a time of rest and refreshment…this summer for June and July.

You were an answer to prayer when you said, “Yes!” to serve this year and I can’t thank you enough.  As we begin to pray and prepare for the next school year, we humbly ask you to prayerfully consider how and where you wish to continue serving on the McEachern Kids Dream Team come August.

Please return this card to me by the first day of spring, March 20.

• I want to stay with this grade level in Sunday school.
• I want to stay in my role in Sunday school, but with another grade level. ______
• I want to loop-up with my current class to the next grade level.
• I want to begin to lead a Sunday school class (one month on, one month off)
• I want to stay in my role in Children’s Church
• I want to stay in my role in Well-Versed Kids
• I want to begin serving in Children’s Church
• I want to begin serving in Well-Versed Kids
• I want to stay in my role in Glee Club/Cherub Choir
• I want to begin serving in Glee Club/Cherub Choir (program 5:45-6:30pm on most Wednesdays)
• I want to begin serving in the new CLUB345 on Sunday evenings beginning in August
• I want to take a year off
• I want to serve and I’ve got an idea!

_____________________________________ (please print your name)

How will you invite your team to return, invite your team to take a time of rest, invite your team to share their ideas and needs, AND trust our great God to provide for the harvest. This is HIS holy work. We are invited to play in His sandbox and have the faith He will show up and show off among His people. This I know: The laborers will always seem few. The harvest will always be great. Yet our great God can multiple fire and enthusiasm among His own to draw people close to know His love and His Son. Anyone else have the prayer prompt “Lord, who?” written in sharpie on the car windshield? What is your process?

“Your ministry will always be better if you have volunteers/servant leaders who are recruited early, who are well trained, and who gave you their best YES.” The Sustainable Ministry Show podcast, episode 084

“But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory.” Hebrews 3:6

Just a few weeks ago I got a phone call from a fellow Kidmin champion who was crushed and ready to quit. After prayer and some ‘laughter through tears’, she backed away from the ledge. My heart hurt for her as she was on the receiving end of neglect, disappointment, and feeling humiliated by her immediate supervisor. Just a few days later I received in the mail a flier from a local book store. When I saw The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People as one of the books highlighted, I stopped on my way into the office and purchased the last two copies.

Steven Covey, author of the bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People states, “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.” Gary Chapman of The 5 Love Languages fame has partnered with Paul White, a psychologist, speaker, and consultant who helps make work relationships work to offer a tool on how to encourage your co-workers/staff with intentionality and efficiency.

There is a distinct difference between recognition and appreciation. Recognition is about acknowledging behavior, improving performance which focuses on what is good for the company, and comes from the top down in an organization. Appreciation focuses on what’s good for the company AND affirms one’s value as a person which can be communicated in any direction – colleague to colleague, supervisor to team member, even team member to supervisor. Quoting a ton of research, they found that most people leave their positions not because of money (12%), but rather because of not feeling appreciated or valued (88%). (pg 35)

There are 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace.

1. Words of Affirmation – Global praise does very little to encourage (“I appreciate you.”), but specific verbal praise for a specific job well done, affirming one’s character, and praise for positive personality traits will make the difference. The greatest tragedy is while most people genuinely appreciate the people they work with, they often neglect to verbally, or on paper, express that appreciation. This might be your language of appreciation when words shared have an edge, are not personally affirming, and you feel ripped to pieces by the words that ARE shared. This the language of appreciation of my friend above because words can cut her to the quick. And they have.
2. Quality Time – If you enjoy people dropping by your office (or you dropping by theirs), sitting down in the chair, telling stories, checking on one another, this may be your primary language of appreciation. The key element to Quality Time is not proximity, but personal attention. “I don’t need a lot of time. All I really want is for someone to stop by my office occasionally and see how I’m doing. After five minutes, I’m bootin’ you because I’ve got a lot to do!” This might be your language of appreciation if you’re the one to coordinate “Taco Tuesday” with colleagues, enjoy quality conversations, weekly meetings, regular ‘touching base’, and shared experiences.
3. Acts of Service – When others reach out to help and assist in getting the job done, this may be your greatest language of appreciation. If you get twisted when someone agrees to take on something to help the team then leaves it unfinished or drops the ball, this is you…this is me. Argh! This is my language of appreciation. When we can share in the task for the good of the organization and everyone does their part, I feel appreciated and I feel a sense of camaraderie with the staff as a whole. I’m all about the team, the big picture with many hands and faces, and everyone on the same page in service.  This is why a team approach to VBS, Fall Gathering, summer camps, and even Sunday school thrills me to the bone. When someone volunteers or signs up to take on something, then completes what they’ve taken on, I’m doing the happy dance! This is me! #bettertogether
4. Tangible Gifts – Small items are given showing you know your staff personally. “Tangible Gifts is the least chosen language of appreciation through which individuals want to be shown appreciation. (6%)” This isn’t good news since most employee recognition programs put a heavy emphasis on ‘rewards.’  If your co-workers have an assortment (a LOT) of similar gifts on display all over their offices, this may be their language of appreciation. The greatest gift appreciated by most all staff? The gift of time. Time off. Permission to come in late or leave early. Having the freedom to take a longer lunch break. A supervisor trusting the staff member to get the job done without punching a clock. Comp time.
5. Physical Touch – Though many conversations around physical touch in the workplace is controversial, all touches are not created equal. Touches of spontaneous celebration (high five, fist bump, congratulatory handshakes, pats on the back, side hugs) and those which communicate care, concern, support, and empathy can all communicate a variety of positive messages in relationships: a sense of trust, connectedness, and caring.

Want to discover your co-worker’s or supervisor’s language of appreciation without taking the assessment? Observe what they ask for over time (What did you bring me? = tangible gifts) AND listen to their complaints (How are they most easily offended, hurt, frustrated, disappointed?).

“In our work with church staff members and individuals who work for other non-church ministries, we consistently find a deep hunger for appreciation. These people are not looking for financial reward and rarely desire high levels of praise. But they honestly express the need to be appreciated for their time and efforts.  When appreciation is not forthcoming, they often become discouraged.  In fact, In our research on toxic workplaces, we sadly found churches and ministries to be over-represented, ‘missing the mark’ in their efforts to show appreciation.” (page 191)

Regardless of your position within your organization, you can make a world of difference in your organizational world by beginning to encourage and show appreciation to your colleagues and supervisors. What will you do this week to start the process?

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

As the calendar begins to be filled with mah-velous fun, memorable and intentional faith-formation experiences, those Summer Sundays should not be neglected. It has been my experience that special summer Sundays can give the traditional summer slump some major push-back.

After checking some holiday websites with the 2019 summer dates, this is what we’ve come up with to rebuke the idea of low attendance Sundays during the summer:

June 2 – Our first night of VBS begins this evening, so we’re asking everyone to wear their past VBS tshirts.

June 9 – National Iced Tea Day is 6/10, so our 5th graders will be serving the congregation Chick-Fil-A iced tea (purchased the day before) between services. Chick-Fil-A typically donates their $$ from gallon iced tea sales to local charities during June, so it’s a perfect fit.

June 16 – Goodies with Guys (Father’s Day) donut holes & jerky will be served to the guys, Dads, Granddads between services.

June 23 – National Pink Day (wear pink).

June 30 – McPeachern – the children serve the church brunch & lunch of all peach goodness with BBQ, peach tea, peach salsa & chips, peach ice cream, peach cobblers. This is the only fundraiser our ministry with children does. Even our littles can serve chips!

July 7 – National Strawberry Sundae Day – serving strawberry sundaes in children’s church/well-versed kids.

July 14 – National Flip Flop Day.

July 21 – National Ice Cream Day.

July 28 – National Parent’s Day so we’re offering freeze pops outside our entrance around the Gaga Ball pit.

August 4 – Promotion Sunday wearing team spirit wear this year (think foam fingers and such), then we are headed to a Braves base ball game after services for an afternoon game. Our gym floor is being replaced, so we needed a way to gather AND build memories.

What other ways can we make summer 2019 Sundays special?

“You are observing special days and months and seasons and years!” Galatians 4:10

After multiple texts, running into each other at the local outlets during the holidays, and catching up on social media, a dear friend and I were finally able to meet for lunch. Rachel Castillo is a fearless champion for providing families hope in the midst of life’s challenges. She is a knowledgeable professional in leading non-profit organizations. In July 2018 she began serving as the President and Chief Executive Office of Georgia’s Advocates For Children committed to the prevention and treatment of child abuse and neglect.

Rachel led me on a tour of the Flowering Branch Children’s Shelter where I was introduced to several professionals who lead programs striving to one day help create a world where all children are respected and loved, happy and thriving.’ One of those programs is Safe Place. Safe Place is a national prevention program for young people under the age of 18 in need of immediate help and safety.

Safe Place designates businesses and organizations as locations where children and youth in crisis can find help. Designated Safe Place locations display a yellow Safe Place sign, the universal symbol of youth safety. Each Designated Safe Place undergoes training and is listed in a national database with addresses of Safe Place sites. One way children can get help when in crisis is through the TXT 4HELP program. TXT 4HELP is a nationwide, 24-hour text-for-support-service. Children text the word ‘safe’ and their current location (city/state/zip) to 4HELP (44357). Within seconds, a message including the closest Safe Place site and contact number for the local youth shelter is delivered.  The young person will then have the option to reply with “2chat” to immediately text with a professional for more help.

Tracy Arp is Advocates for Children’s Safe Place Coordinator. Tracy shared with me that any business, church, school, fire station, etc. can become a Safe Place site. “We offer training for each site to ensure that the site employees feel comfortable if they were to have youth need the assistance of Safe Place. Safe Place is a national organization, but Advocates for Children is the only one in North Georgia.  Although Advocates for Children is located in Bartow County they provide services to their surrounding counties as well, which include, Polk, Floyd, Cherokee, Gordon, Cobb, Fulton, Paulding, and Pickens to ensure that all youth are safe.” 

How do students hear about it? Most young people hear about Safe Place during school or community presentations where Safe Place information cards are distributed. These cards have the local Safe Place phone number and explains that Safe Place help is free and confidential. Youth also hear about the program through word of mouth, social media, and public service announcements on radio or TV. (from http://www.nationalsafeplace.org)

The week of March 17-23 Safe Place will be celebrating National Safe Place Week and are looking for more outreach opportunities. I will be proposing to our Family Ministry team to undergo the training so that our local church can become a Safe Place site. Our county has only several sites and most are QuickTrip gas stations. I believe we can do this. We are blessed with a facility and a family of faith which loves children and youth. Reading Psalm 27:5, I am compelled!

“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5

Several months ago I was invited to serve as a coach at the 2019 Children’s Pastors Conference. An application was required along with a professional reference, a personal phone call, and a training webinar. The training is extraordinarily thorough because the Coaching Sessions at CPC are one of the highest-rated experiences at CPC.

CPC attendees are invited to signup for a 30-minute appointment with an experienced ministry leader of their choice through Signup Genius. Each coach has listed several areas of expertise or profound experience. The attendee completes a form to clarify some questions or a direction the attendee wants to go during the session. The Coach listens as the attendee begins to explain their situation.

Melanie Hester, Community Development Specialist for International Network of Children’s Ministry, explained in the coaches’ training webinar the difference between mentoring and coaching. Mentoring is typically a long-term, mentor-driven arrangement. Coaching is driven by the one being coached for a shorter season of time. As a coach, my role is to engage in active listening, and then ask really good questions as I assure the one being coached that he/she has everything they need to be successful.

At the close of the coaching session, specific goals along with a couple of key action steps would be written down. These action steps would be specific, measurable, attainable (lofty enough to inspire), relevant (personally applicable), and time bound (include a period of time for completion…90 days or by Easter/Summer). My favorite question in this exercise was to ask the one being coached, “Who will be your champion in your world to help you in prayer and accountability?” This question always elicited a smile as a dear friend-in-the-Lord would be named by the kidmin champion being coached.

In the course of three coaching sessions, I met three amazing women. The first one I knew and have an ongoing relationship with. The second had just been hired the Friday before. The third was a young woman in an American-Chinese church. Two of the three were United Methodists. The most common statement I heard was, “Where do I start?” Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint, but hardly a time for baby steps. So what giant leap do you take first? Each kidmin was different…and it was a beautiful thing to see them encouraged by the end of the coaching session.

There were more than 100 such coaching experiences going on in three separate time frames in one humongous room. We were assigned a numbered table with two chairs on two sides of the table: one for a person and one for all the stuff they were carrying. With five minutes remaining, a horn was blown. An evaluation was completed by the one being coached as well as the coach to be turned in at the end of the coaching session. Every person I saw leaving the tables had a huge smile on their faces. At the end of each coaching session, it appeared the one being coached received exactly what they’d hoped for.

Coaching is what we do when we take the phone call, answer the email, and ask the questions. Coaching can talk you off the ledge as well as push you to your limits. The best of the best have coaches: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and all those amazing Olympic athletes. If we seek to be the best communicators of the gospel and kingdom builders for Jesus, taking advantage of a coaching opportunity and reaching out to a coach every now and then can only make us better.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Corinthians 13:11

Last week was the Children’s Pastors Conference sponsored by the International Network of Children’s Ministry, an empowering organization which serves leaders who champion the discipleship of kids and families. The event was held at a great facility in Orlando. It’s been five years since I attended and was thrilled with the intentionality of so many details, such as…

1. The pace – No standing in lines to pickup registration materials, but rather a welcoming party with tables, music, donuts as we waited to be invited in by groups upon arrival. Most of our group were in the green circle group. I was in the blue star group. Day 1 was all general/plenary sessions and coaching. Days 2 & 3 was general/plenary session and workshops. With 8-10 food trucks and a two-hour lunch time there were lots of opportunities for conversation and sharing. Early nights, not-oh-dark-thirty mornings, and the locations of rooms to meeting spaces could be trekked easily. A detail? Put the schedule inside front cover. Wonderful! A detail? Everything began with a worship & prayer experience with stations throughout the general session area. Fabulous!

2. The diversity – The general/plenary sessions were led by an intentionally diverse group of leaders. By diverse, I mean men and women of different ages and cultures. They were ALL funny and knew their craft. All the messages were based on Hebrews 11 & 12, By Faith. I can’t ever remember attending a conference where the messages were so congruent from the first with Beth Guckenberger to the last with Bob Goff. And the speakers were all easily accessible. These folks are big deals, yet I couldn’t see a pedestal anywhere, if you know what I mean. And by diversity, they shared from scripture about the ‘not so shiny’…Rahab, Gideon, Moses, Saul, and Samson.

3. The accessibility – There were multiple stations led by multiple faces for customer service. Want to change your reserved workshop? Easy-peasy at the customer service desk. I wanted to change my last workshop, but was told it was full. So I hung around outside the meeting room before it started and I was able to enter with a dozen or so empty seats waiting to be filled. The Executive Director, who I’m sure had other things to do, stood anywhere there was a line to chat with attendees. Not only did she chat, but she constantly asked those of us connected to look for those who were not connected and invite him/her into our connection.

4. The connection – There were more than twenty-two attendees from North Georgia. There were nine of us who traveled in a church bus driven by an amazing kidmin champion. Five of us stayed in a suite so there would be a community space to be shared with others. We shared space. We shared resources. We shared meals. We laughed our heads off. We did laundry. We shared table life. A major part of Day 1 was the intentional connection offered by 103 coaches in three different sessions. 309 children’s pastors coached by children’s pastors in the trenches.  It was powerful. I’ll share my experience as a coach next week.

My cup runneth over. My heart is full. My head is full. My cart of resources is full. My favorite resource? The research-based workshop leader kit for parents on the ten greatest influencers of spiritual health for kids. So excited! CPC is every January. It’s worth it. I’m so grateful for my church leadership choosing to invest in me and my colleagues in this powerful and amazing way. We’re making plans for next year. Want to ride?

“Rahab had seconds to choose faith. (Stomp the floor like the soldiers knocked on her door as they were searching for the Hebrew spies). Understanding can wait. Obedience can not.” – Pastor Chaco De Jesus 

A brand new calendar with all its white space makes me downright giddy. In preparing for the next calendar year, it’s important to keep a few things in mind:
A. What will be your focus the next year…as a church…as a ministry with children?
B. What are the important days that are ‘known’ or ‘tradition’ in your church and community so children’s ministry can piggy-back or involve little people?
C. For what events do you already have champions to take the point and advocate?
D. What are your professional and personal priorities you should guard with the calendar?
E. Prepare to calendar 18-24 months out. (I do this every January AND June
F. Calendaring is not planning. Calendaring is about partnering. Calendaring is putting on the calendar that which complements other ministries and your local church as a whole body of Christ.

Gather supplies and documents:

• Start with a blank, paper calendar. Why? Because it helps you see the big picture. You can always add it to your devices/apps later.
• Your Vacation and Sabbath time: Shauna Niequist wrote in Present Over Perfect, “I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that I was real-tired.” She went on to write, “Loving one’s work is a gift. And loving one’s work makes it really easy to neglect other parts of life. People love it when you say yes, and they get used to it. But you can’t have a yes without the healthy no. If you’re not careful with your yeses, you start to say no to some very important things without even realizing it.” Remember you are in this for the long haul so though you can fill your calendar with a ton of good things, sustainability without killing yourself and others is the goal.
• Last year’s calendar. Why? To record when to begin planning for specials and record major cultural holidays like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Veteran’s Day, etc. Ex: Trunk or Treat in October requires a start in hard planning in July to get local advertising in; the year Palm Sunday started a spring break; Glee Club/Cherub Choir Wednesday night programming begins the new year AFTER the Atlanta area has historical issues with ice/snow.
• Church calendar. Why? So as not to conflict with hard dates for space and volunteer base. Ex: Anything that has to do with major seasons like Lent and Advent; anything that requires all church hands on deck like a Fall Festival will drain a volunteer base for a period of time. Include seasonal events and holidays, traditions, and rites of passage that you know are ‘set in stone.’ Be sure to add your regular Sunday AM ‘bread’ schedule. Anything other than Sunday morning in ‘whipped cream’ programming.
• Liturgical calendar. Why? Using colors and practices as past saints connect us to our heritage of faith. Ex: Advent is purple, not red & green; the magi come out for Epiphany and not Advent; 12 days of Christmastide; Maundy Thursday may change your Wednesday programming that week; we send home bags of empty, plastic eggs beginning on Ash Wednesday to be filled and returned for the church Easter Egg Hunt so prep has to be done WAY in advance.
• Pencil and a really good eraser. Why? I’m visual and neat erasing matters.
• School calendar. Why? Gotta plan for when families won’t be here as well as when they will be. Ex: Fall and spring breaks = low attendance Sundays which offers some special planning opportunities. Look especially at when the four fifth Sundays of the month are set.
• Youth calendar. Why? Many specials for children require youth help and we all know it’s healthy for youth and little people to have youth faces involved in ministry with children. Ex: Coordinating VBS with summer youth mission trips; Parent’s Night Out when the youth may be on a retreat; Christmas parties that would possibly require parents to be in two places at once. Ex: Last year’s Faith Field Trips were such a huge relationship and sticky faith success, I’ve already set aside specific summer dates in partnership with another local church to share in the heavy work and other local churches are joining in. This lets me go ahead and make bus reservations on the dates that I know are not in conflict. Summer bus reservations in January…what a great idea!
• Networking, Conference, Training dates. Why? The connection outside of your own house, face-to-face with live people is what keeps you at your best, encouraged, and provides energy. Ex: Our KidMin networking group meets once a month on the second Monday of the month; choosing my training for the next year helps me stay on task for the focus of the next year; early bird prices for conferences and local trainings are much more budget-friendly.
• College Football schedule. Why? We live in the south. Just sayin’.

Then it’s time to start mapping out the year. Find a block of uninterrupted time to put it on paper. Pray for clarity and direction before, during, and after. Remember the rhythm of your community. Be sensitive to time expectations of your volunteers and your families. Don’t forget to map out your Sundays and Wednesdays, as this is the ‘daily bread’ of Children’s Ministry and it must be done well and take priority over ‘whipped cream’ programming.

When it’s finished, we all know it isn’t really finished. It’s a working document, but it’s a start to keep your priorities in line, plan well in advance, communicate well with your team and your family knows they are just as much a priority as your ministry.

“I’m not sure how you feel about a new beginning, but fresh starts are my favorite! I am the girl loves a clean slate.” – Becky Kiser from Sacred Holidays: Less Chaos, More Jesus