Catalyst is a conference experience where each large group session has a speaker that presents challenges of leadership, social justice, and intentional discipleship in the “big church.” Worship is intense, laughter is loud, and the atmosphere of creativity is on overload. I love it!

Here is what I learned . . .

1. Don’t be concerned with being fair, be engaged over the long-run. When we try to be fair and do all for everyone, you get jaded and miss out on the success stories we all need to persevere. “Do for one what you WISH you could do for everyone.” (Andy Stanley)

2. Why do some thrive in chaos and others do not? (Jim Collins)
a. The only mistakes you really learn from are the ones you survive.
b. Bad decisions with good intentions are still bad decisions.
c. The signature of mediocrity is chronic inconsistency.
d. Greatness is the result of conscious choice and discipline.

3. An incredible team and a culture of excellence matter (Dave Ramsey)
a. Do not let life move faster than your resources,
b. Never advance beyond your supply lines,
c. Reach toward a high relational IQ because people matter,
d. Tell the truth,
e. Show up on time,
f. Don’t hire “crazy,” and don’t be “crazy,”
g. Do EvErYtHiNg as unto the LORD

4. Do I really know what I have in Jesus? Since when is Jesus not enough? Since when do I have to supplement the Savior? (Judah Smith)

5. Give of my firstfruits and my vats will be filled (a reminder from the holy scriptures by Blake Mycoskie, founder of TOMS shoes)

6. Fear is vision without hope. (Mark Driscoll)
a. Fear is not always rational, but it is always powerful,
b. Fear is getting what you do NOT want,
c. Fear preaches a false gospel, lifts up a false savior, and offers a false heaven,
d. Fear turns us all in to false prophets

7. We are who we are because someone loved us. (Dr. Cornell West)

8. Folks are leaving the church because (David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Group):
a. They see the church as taking no risks (overprotective)…oh the stories of the apostles and the martyrs
b. They see the church as being anti-science (disconnected)

9. Something’s wrong when I’m in the presence of God and I am doing all the talking. (Priscilla Shirer)
a. There is not near enough space here to share how her presentation challenged and lit a fire under me – I’d have to do lunch with you to even touch the surface.

10. Dont’ work alone (Andy Stanley)
a. I am not responsible to fill someone else’s cup, but rather to empty my own to whomever is around.
b. I am responsible for passing along what I know to somebody else (the act of apprenticing).

I also learn alot about the group I am honored to attend with. These are folks ranging in ages this year from a Junior in high school (who was once in my preschool class, I might add) to a couple of us in our, let’s just say, our 50s. Insightful conversation, loving acceptance, and gracious hospitality.  My cup is filled and ready to be emptied.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down . . . “

Nighttime is an awesome time to share your faith with your family. When my babies were little, the first song I sung to them at night was “Jesus loves you.” Then I took some old time spirituals like “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” and would sing them to bed at night. I had a deep desire for them to be familiar with the tunes and words of the old spirituals. These writings of the saints of old brought peace in the trying times of my life and I wanted that power of old spiritual music to be available to them, as well. It’s been my experience that every situation calls for praise, but every situation doesn’t call for praise music.

I didn’t pray out loud until I had kids. I made a conscious decision that I would not pass on my fear of praying out loud onto them. So I practiced praying out loud at night with each one. We would begin the night we got their big girl/big boy bed because then, we could kneel beside our beds and pray. I taught them to pray with rhymes at first, but at 5 or 6 years old, I chose to teach them to “tag along” their rhymes and just talk as if God was sitting on the bed.

If you are fearful of praying out loud, I encourage you to make it a matter of prayer and get over it. You are missing out on blessing others in a mighty way.

As you continue to try to get over your fear and find yourself in a group of adults, offer to pray first. Then you don’t have to follow anybody. Just be sure, you pray out loud. And practice with your kids. Let them hear you. There is no truer voice than the one lifted to our Maker.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road . . . “

As you’re on the road, think on (and do) these things and involve your kids in service to the LORD and His people:

– As a group, call some friends and go clean a new home just before someone moves into it (great way to meet your new pastor, new staff member, or new neighbor)
– Co-teach a Sunday school class every Sunday, then worship together as a family (Baby Girl started teaching 4th graders with me when she was in 9th grade)
– Make MUST summer lunches together
– When I started my preschool year and would bleach my classroom tables, chairs, and walls, I would bring them with me, the more the merrier.
– Volunteer as a travel guide or a leader in VBS together (let them take the lead)
– Whatever your current ministry, have them minister with you until they find their own ministry (Know that this will take time – years even and that’s OK – we are raising adults who will serve and love their LORD and His people)
– Bake a cake, bring ice cream and cones (no dishes for anyone to wash), just because someone they know needs a pick-me-up
– Pick fruit at a local orchard, make a pie/cake/bread and share it with whomever THEY choose
– Be a Secret Encourager (Matthew 6:4 & 6 “Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”) Encourage them to take in the trash can, scrape ice off the neighbor’s car windows, bring up the newspaper, push in a friend’s chair in Sunday school, you get the picture. Practicing secret encouragement leads them to be more likely to serve without self glorification.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road . . . “

My first Prayer Partner, a fabulous woman of faith, shared with me that her favorite time with her kids was when they were in the car. The kids would read a simple devotion out loud on the way to school and they prayed together when they arrived in the parking lot.

On the drive home from church activities, she would ask questions what the kids got out of Sunday school.

Always after a movie, she would discuss with them what they could apply to their spiritual growth from the negative and positive viewpoint. She has her kids thinking through a spiritual growth filter all the time.  Note:  “Courageous” came out this weekend – I’ve seen it twice and recommend it highly to everyone.

There are also some great resources out there, “JOY RIDE: Faithfilled Fun & Games for Drive Time, Heritagebuilders.com, Focus on the Family, and Mealtime Moments that are great conversation starters in the car.

And don’t forget the radio station. When Baby Girl and #1 Son were younger, Christian radio was a dream and a thought. Our favorite family cassettes were of Sandi Patty, Amy Grant, and Wayne Watson.  As they got older, our favorite CDs were NewSong, Phillips Craig & Dean, and Carmen.  Now, there are several options in most metorpolitan areas. Even Pandora can be heard through the television or your cell phone. Check them out and let me know your favorites.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 reads ““Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home . . . “

We value our faith, not for what it can give us, but for the One it connects us to. I wanted my kids to connect to the God who is greater than all their fears, greater than all my fears, and the God who still performs miracles.

Have you ever considered fasting a meal a week for your kids? Fasting a meal and praying for their present troubles and those who influence them? Fasting a meal a week and praying for their future ministry and their future spouses?

Musician Wayne Watson wrote a song years ago called, “Somewhere in the World Today.” The lyrics challenged me when #1 Son was 5 years old and accepted the Lord as his Savior. The lyrics went something like this: “Somewhere in the world today, a little girl will go out to play, all dressed up in Mama’s clothes, at least the way that I suppose it goes. Somewhere in the world tonight, before she reaches to turn out the light, she’s praying from a tender heart, simple prayers that’s a work of art. And I don’t even know her name, but I’m praying for her just the same, that the LORD would write His name upon her heart. Because somewhere in the course of this life, my little boy will need a Godly wife. So hold on to Jesus baby, wherever you are. Hold on to Jesus, baby, wherever you are.”

Many of the books I have read over the years, written by Christian parents, shared that they fasted one meal a week, for their children. How precious for them to realize as young people that their parents gave up a simple something to focus on prayers for them.

On the day Baby Girl was married to #2 Son, I told that young man through tears that glistened with great love,  “Welcome to our family . . . We have been praying for you ever since you were a very little boy.”

“Take Mark, and bring him with thee” 2 Timothy 4:11b

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 reads ““Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home . . . “

We’ve gone a step further when we sit at home . . . we regularly prayed through our kid’s bedrooms. This is not a superstitious little ritual. This is a powerful claiming of your home, your children, and all aspects of their lives for the LORD. It’s standing up and proclaiming, “as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15) Stormie Omartian, author of Power of a Praying Parent, is quoted as saying, “Everyone’s house needs a spiritual housecleaning from time to time, especially in the rooms where our children sleep and play.”

A holy housecleaning was done periodically as a matter of principle, but definitely whenever we felt troubled by something in our child(ren). If he/she is becoming fearful, rebellious, angry, depressed, distant, strange, a disciplinary problem, or having bad dreams and nightmares, sometimes simply praying through the room can change things quickly. I have seen a change in spirit in my children after every time I have done so. My prayer always started, “LORD, if there’s anything in this room that shouldn’t be here, show me.”

As we entered the teen years, I explained that for his/her own peace and blessing, we would clean the room of anything that was not of the LORD. Did he like it? No. Did we have to remove anything from his room? Yes. We removed anything that promoted drug or alcohol use, violence, or any kind of blasphemy.

We found that music was the most common item of removal because kids trade and copy. So, no headphones, no tvs, nor computers were ever allowed in their bedrooms. That way I could hear what was being sung and I would ask God for the discernment of what battles to pick.

And when I still struggled through this season, I enlisted the help of his/her small group leaders, my prayer group (who could pray for my children when I was in such distress I couldn’t pray beyond, “Help me!”), and their youth pastor. Their spiritual leaders maintained their loyalty to my kids and I never did anything that would harm their need for confidentiality. But youth culture and children’s issues are what they dealt with daily and they were our greatest resource. These folks are here to help us be the godly parents God intended.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 reads ““Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home . . . “

When we began searching for the home to buy when we were transferred here from New England, I learned something wonderful. Just by walking through homes, I could tell which was a Christian home.   All homes are an expression of what the family values and it mattered to me what we would be following.

So I asked myself, “How long would it take for someone to be in our home before our guest knew that the Reilly Bed & Breakfast was a home that valued family, life, and Christ?” What magazines and books were on the shelves, pictures on the walls, DVDs, CDs on the racks, reading material in the 2 ½ libraries.

Psalm 101:2-3 reads, “I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set nothing wicked before my eyes.” 1 Corinthians 10:23 states, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” Psalm 119:37a shared, “Turn my eyes away from worthless things.” This has been our mantra and the basis for setting media (video and music) standards for the family. This takes lots of love, patience, humor, communication, and prayer. Consistency was the key for us.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children…”

Another positive routine in sharing your faith with your family is to teach and practice the holy habit of tithing with your kids. In our first worship service at our home church, the pastor shared in his sermon that “tithing is a holy habit.”

When our kids were little, they dropped a quarter we would give them every time the offering plate was passed and they saw us put in our envelope or check. Later, when they began making their own money (Baby Girl babysitting and #1 Son mowing lawns,) we taught them how to divvy up their money before it was earned and church was always first.

I happened to come across a journal entry the other day where I wrote, “’#1 Son’s first true tithe today $1 from $10 earned mowing the Carroll’s lawn yesterday.” He was so excited that when they brought up the baskets, he leaned in to whisper, “My money is in there for God.” When I asked him about it the other day, he shared that it makes him happy and a part of something greater than himself that his money is in there.

Did they always want to do it? Probably not, but they have both seen God do “His thing” for their faithfulness. God makes Himself very real in the eyes and heart of a child when holy habits are begun when they are young.

Baby Girl and #1 Son practiced this holy habit when they were young and as they grew older and made more money, it was very natural to tithe and support their local church first. It’s part of their lifestyle today.

Andy Stanley said, “Being a percentage giver ensures God’s kingdom is funded before mine.”

We couldn’t agree more.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children…”

Another positive routine to share your faith with your family is to insist on worship with other believers. Some parents get real nervous making their kids go to church, especially if their kids whine, complain, and say they don’t want to go. If Mom and Dad force them to go to church, the kids announce that as soon as they move out on their own, they will never go to church again. I’ve seen many parents then panic. They want their children to choose a life of faith and fear that it will backfire if they force it. Kids often don’t like routines that are good for them. So, will you ignore what they want and give them what they need? You don’t give them a choice to take a bath, brush their teeth, get vaccines, or take algebra, do you? Then worship shouldn’t be up for negotiation. I share from personal experience that my own mother caved with my eldest brother. Although he remains open to matters of faith (as expressed through his son who attends a Christian private school) he is unopen to matters of Jesus. I now wear the bracelet and continue to pray for his salvation.

At the Reilly Bed & Breakfast, if you overslept and didn’t make it to worship, then your week must have been way too busy. So, you would not be going anywhere for the next week. The rule was you had to be BIS beside the family before the pastor took the pulpit for the sermon or discussions would take place about your lifestyle (or lack of it) for the next week.  BIS meant “butt in seat.”  There have been at least 4 times where our son skateboarded in just in time for the sermon and we worshiped at 8:15am.

Something else my kids heard me say that I took from a wise pastor: “Worship on Sunday begins on Saturday.” Bible, clothes, alarm, gas in the car, and tithe. Part of that preparation for me was to intentionally make Sunday mornings really special. That was the one morning during the week when I woke up the earliest of any other day during the week and I prepared and delivered a light breakfast in bed to everyone at the Bed & Breakfast.  It could be juice and a muffin for my man, hot chocolate and a piece of French Vanilla toast for Baby Girl, and hot tea and a muffin for #1 Son.

Impress the importance of “worship as a family” on your children.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 reads, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children…”

Before we can impress our faith on our kids, do they even know that we value our faith? When we value our faith, we’ll keep looking for the LORD in all areas of our lives and we’ll celebrate every opportunity to see Him in charge.

Mealtime is an awesome time to share your faith with your family. My kids won’t remember that I got up and made their lunches every day, but they’ll remember the riddles I put in there, the words of encouragement and the occasional dog bone that their Dad would put in (don’t ask). My stepmother used to check me out of school at lunch time once or twice a year to take me out to lunch to give me a chance to share what was going on in my life, my dreams, my troubles, my joys. And this was huge because in my teen years, there were 9 of us kids at home. I had an audience with only her. It wasn’t until she went home to be with the LORD, when I was 25, when we discovered that she did this with each and every one of us.

When my kids were older and the afternoons were filled with practices and music, how was I going to get those loving faith messages to my kids? Lunchbox notes “You are special. I’m glad that God gave me you for my daughter,” or emailed our son, “Thanks for taking out the trash without being told,” we used praise and scripture stickers on a sandwich bag or used a permanent market on a juice box or a banana to write scriptures and words of encouragement. Their Dad regularly sent them postcards from the places he had to travel with his work. Placing a roll of postcard stamps in his briefcase made it super easy. Write a note in their agenda; just flip ahead a few weeks.

When they learn to look forward to the words of their earthly mother and father, they’ll learn to appreciate the words of their Heavenly Father: “For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” from Philippians 4:11 “For nothing is impossible with God” from Luke 1:37. “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God” from 1 Corinthians 10:31. One of our family favorites . . . “Be dressed and ready for service” from Luke 12:35.