Over the years of serving children in the local church, you would think I’d become more mature in the things that make me chuckle. Not so much. Maybe because I grew up with 4 brothers, bodily functions remain a top laugh-getter.

Anyway, I have collected over the years some bible passages that have caused me to fall in the floor laughing:

Luke 12:35 “Be dressed and ready for service.” (a permanent post-it-note on #1 son’s XBox during high school)

John 12:7a “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. (my all-time personal favorite)

Jeremiah 1:17 “Get yourself ready!  Stand up and say to them whatever I command you.  Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.”

Proverbs 10:19 “Where there are many words, Sin is not absent.” (aka “shut thee up”)

Leviticus 13:40 “When a man has lost his hair and is bald, he is clean.”

Exodus 32:24 (Aaron speaking to Moses) “So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”

Proverbs 26:17 “Like one who seizes a dog by its ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.”  (nothing like a bite in the face to keep you in your own business)

Proverbs 25:24 “Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”  (self-explanatory, and said again in Proverbs 21:9)

Nehemiah 6:3 “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down.”  (a Mama’s mantra through middle school)

2 Timothy 4:11b “Take Mark, and bring him with thee:  for he is profitable to me for the ministry” (Baby Girl found this when she and Mark began getting serious)

Psalm 119:139a “My zeal wears me out.”

Ezekiel 44:18b “They must not wear anything that makes them sweat.” (Can I get an “AMEN!”?)

A clergy friend of mine has begun to get in on my collection and has added some of her own:

Jeremiah 49:32 “Their camels shall become booty, their herds of cattle a spoil.”

Ecclesiastes 10:1 “Dead flies make the perfumer’s ointment give off a foul odor.”

Ecclesiastes 10:11 “If the snake bites before it is charmed, there is no advantage to the charmer.” (duh)

Yep, “She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”  Proverbs 31:25

Got any you are willing to share?